The Old Curiosity Shop

by Dickens, Charles

  lady went on to remark that if such a husband was cross and

  unreasonable with such a wife, then--

  'If he is!' interposed the mother, putting down her tea-cup and

  brushing the crumbs out of her lap, preparatory to making a solemn

  declaration. 'If he is! He is the greatest tyrant that every lived, she

  daren't call her soul her own, he makes her tremble with a word and

  even with a look, he frightens her to death, and she hasn't the spirit

  to give him a word back, no, not a single word.'

  Notwithstanding that the fact had been notorious beforehand to all

  the tea-drinkers, and had been discussed and expatiated on at every

  tea-drinking in the neighbourhood for the last twelve months, this

  official communication was no sooner made than they all began to

  talk at once and to vie with each other in vehemence and volubility.

  Mrs George remarked that people would talk, that people had often

  said this to her before, that Mrs Simmons then and there present had

  told her so twenty times, that she had always said, 'No, Henrietta

  Simmons, unless I see it with my own eyes and hear it with my own

  ears, I never will believe it.' Mrs Simmons corroborated this

  testimony and added strong evidence of her own. The lady from the

  Minories recounted a successful course of treatment under which she

  had placed her own husband, who, from manifesting one month after

  marriage unequivocal symptoms of the tiger, had by this means

  become subdued into a perfect lamb. Another lady recounted her

  own personal struggle and final triumph, in the course whereof she

  had found it necessary to call in her mother and two aunts, and to

  weep incessantly night and day for six weeks. A third, who in the

  general confusion could secure no other listener, fastened herself

  upon a young woman still unmarried who happened to be amongst

  them, and conjured her, as she valued her own peace of mind and

  happiness to profit by this solemn occasion, to take example from the

  weakness of Mrs Quilp, and from that time forth to direct her whole

  thoughts to taming and subduing the rebellious spirit of man. The

  noise was at its height, and half the company had elevated their

  voices into a perfect shriek in order to drown the voices of the other

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  half, when Mrs Jiniwin was seen to change colour and shake her

  forefinger stealthily, as if exhorting them to silence. Then, and not

  until then, Daniel Quilp himself, the cause and occasion of all this

  clamour, was observed to be in the room, looking on and listening

  with profound attention.

  'Go on, ladies, go on,' said Daniel. 'Mrs Quilp, pray ask the ladies

  to stop to supper, and have a couple of lobsters and something light

  and palatable.'

  'I--I--didn't ask them to tea, Quilp,' stammered his wife. It's quite an

  accident.'

  'So much the better, Mrs Quilp; these accidental parties are always

  the pleasantest,' said the dwarf, rubbing his hands so hard that he

  seemed to be engaged in manufacturing, of the dirt with which they

  were encrusted, little charges for popguns. 'What! Not going, ladies,

  you are not going, surely!'

  His fair enemies tossed their heads slightly as they sought their

  respective bonnets and shawls, but left all verbal contention to Mrs

  Jiniwin, who finding herself in the position of champion, made a

  faint struggle to sustain the character.

  'And why not stop to supper, Quilp,' said the old lady, 'if my

  daughter had a mind?'

  'To be sure,' rejoined Daniel. 'Why not?'

  'There's nothing dishonest or wrong in a supper, I hope?' said Mrs

  Jiniwin.

  'Surely not,' returned the dwarf. 'Why should there be? Nor

  anything unwholesome, either, unless there's lobster-salad or

  prawns, which I'm told are not good for digestion.'

  'And you wouldn't like your wife to be attacked with that, or

  anything else that would make her uneasy would you?' said Mrs

  Jiniwin.

  'Not for a score of worlds,' replied the dwarf with a grin. 'Not even

  to have a score of mothers-in-law at the same time--and what a

  blessing that would be!'

  'My daughter's your wife, Mr Quilp, certainly,' said the old lady

  with a giggle, meant for satirical and to imply that he needed to be

  reminded of the fact; 'your wedded wife.'

  'So she is, certainly. So she is,' observed the dwarf.

  'And she has has a right to do as she likes, I hope, Quilp,' said the

  old lady trembling, partly with anger and partly with a secret fear of

  her impish son-in-law.

  'Hope she has!' he replied. 'Oh! Don't you know she has? Don't you

  know she has, Mrs Jiniwin?

  'I know she ought to have, Quilp, and would have, if she was of my

  way of thiniking.'

  'Why an't you of your mother's way of thinking, my dear?' said the

  dwarf, turing round and addressing his wife, 'why don't you always

  imitate your mother, my dear? She's the ornament of her sex--your

  father said so every day of his life. I am sure he did.'

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  'Her father was a blessed creetur, Quilp, and worthy twenty

  thousand of some people,' said Mrs Jiniwin; 'twenty hundred million

  thousand.'

  'I should like to have known him,' remarked the dwarf. 'I dare say

  he was a blessed creature then; but I'm sure he is now. It was a

  happy release. I believe he had suffered a long time?'

  The old lady gave a gasp, but nothing came of it; Quilp resumed,

  with the same malice in his eye and the same sarcastic politeness on

  his tongue.

  'You look ill, Mrs Jiniwin; I know you have been exciting yourself

  too much--talking perhaps, for it is your weakness. Go to bed. Do go

  to bed.'

  'I shall go when I please, Quilp, and not before.'

  'But please to do now. Do please to go now,' said the dwarf.

  The old woman looked angrily at him, but retreated as he advanced,

  and falling back before him, suffered him to shut the door upon her

  and bolt her out among the guests, who were by this time crowding

  downstairs. Being left along with his wife, who sat trembling in a

  corner with her eyes fixed upon the ground, the little man planted

  himself before her, and folding his arms looked steadily at her for a

  long time without speaking.

  'Mrs Quilp,' he said at last.

  'Yes, Quilp,' she replead meekly.

  Instead of pursing the theme he had in his mind, Quilp folded his

  arms again, and looked at her more sternly than before, while she

  averted her eyes and kept them on the ground.

  'Mrs Quilp.'

  'Yes, Quilp.'

  'If ever you listen to these beldames again, I'll bite you.'

  With this laconic threat, which he accompanied with a snarl that gave

  him the appearance of being particularly in earnest, Mr Quilp bade

  her clear the teaboard away, and bring the rum. The spirit being set

  before him in a huge case-bottle, which had originally come out of

  some ship's locker, he settled himself in an arm-chair with his lar
ge

  head and face squeezed up against the back, and his little legs planted

  on the table.

  'Now, Mrs Quilp,' he said; 'I feel in a smoking humour, and shall

  probably blaze away all night. But sit where you are, if you please,

  in case I want you.'

  His wife returned no other reply than the necessary 'Yes, Quilp,' and

  the small lord of the creation took his first cigar and mixed his first

  glass of grog. The sun went down and the stars peeped out, the

  Tower turned from its own proper colours to grey and from grey to

  black, the room became perfectly dark and the end of the cigar a

  deep fiery red, but still Mr Quilp went on smoking and drinking in

  the same position, and staring listlessly out of window with the

  doglike smile always on his face, save when Mrs Quilp made some

  involuntary movement of restlessness or fatigue; and then it

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  expanded into a grin of delight.

  CHAPTER 5

  Whether Mr Quilp took any sleep by snatches of a few winks at a

  time, or whether he sat with his eyes wide open all night long,

  certain it is that he kept his cigar alight, and kindled every fresh one

  from the ashes of that which was nearly consumed, without requiring

  the assistance of a candle. Nor did the striking of the clocks, hour

  after hour, appear to inspire him with any sense of drowsiness or any

  natural desire to go to rest, but rather to increase his wakefulness,

  which he showed, at every such indication of the progress of the

  night, by a suppressed cackling in his throat, and a motion of his

  shoulders, like one who laughs heartily but the same time slyly and

  by stealth.

  At length the day broke, and poor Mrs Quilp, shivering with cold of

  early morning and harassed by fatigue and want of sleep, was

  discovered sitting patiently on her chair, raising her eyes at intervals

  in mute appeal to the compassion and clemency of her lord, and

  gently reminding him by an occasion cough that she was still

  unpardoned and that her penance had been of long duration. But her

  dwarfish spouse still smoked his cigar and drank his rum without

  heeding her; and it was not until the sun had some time risen, and

  the activity and noise of city day were rife in the street, that he

  deigned to recognize her presence by any word or sign. He might not

  have done so even then, but for certain impatient tapping at the door

  he seemed to denote that some pretty hard knuckles were actively

  engaged upon the other side.

  'Why dear me!' he said looking round with a malicious grin, 'it's

  day. Open the door, sweet Mrs Quilp!'

  His obedient wife withdrew the bolt, and her lady mother entered.

  Now, Mrs Jiniwin bounced into the room with great impetuosity;

  for, supposing her son-in-law to be still a-bed, she had come to

  relieve her feelings by pronouncing a strong opinion upon his general

  conduct and character. Seeing that he was up and dressed, and that

  the room appeared to have been occupied ever since she quitted it on

  the previous evening, she stopped short, in some embarrassment.

  Nothing escaped the hawk's eye of the ugly little man, who,

  perfectly understanding what passed in the old lady's mind, turned

  uglier still in the fulness of his satisfaction, and bade her good

  morning, with a leer or triumph.

  'Why, Betsy,' said the old woman, 'you haven't been--you don't

  mean to say you've been a--'

  'Sitting up all night?' said Quilp, supplying the conclusion of the

  sentence. 'Yes she has!'

  'All night?' cried Mrs Jiniwin.

  'Ay, all night. Is the dear old lady deaf?' said Quilp, with a smile of

  which a frown was part. 'Who says man and wife are bad company?

  Ha ha! The time has flown.'

  'You're a brute!' exclaimed Mrs Jiniwin.

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  'Come come,' said Quilp, wilfully misunderstanding her, of course,

  'you mustn't call her names. She's married now, you know. And

  though she did beguile the time and keep me from my bed, you must

  not be so tenderly careful of me as to be out of humour with her.

  Bless you for a dear old lady. Here's to your health!'

  'I am much obliged to you,' returned the old woman, testifying by a

  certain restlessness in her hands a vehement desire to shake her

  matronly fist at her son-in-law. 'Oh! I'm very much obliged to you!'

  'Grateful soul!' cried the dwarf. 'Mrs Quilp.'

  'Yes, Quilp,' said the timid sufferer.

  'Help your mother to get breakfast, Mrs Quilp. I am going to the

  wharf this morning--the earlier the better, so be quick.'

  Mrs Jiniwin made a faint demonstration of rebellion by sitting down

  in a chair near the door and folding her arms as if in a resolute

  determination to do nothing. But a few whispered words from her

  daughter, and a kind inquiry from her son-in-law whether she felt

  faint, with a hint that there was abundance of cold water in the next

  apartment, routed these symptoms effectually, and she applied

  herself to the prescribed preparations with sullen diligence.

  While they were in progress, Mr Quilp withdrew to the adjoining

  room, and, turning back his coat-collar, proceeded to smear his

  countenance with a damp towel of very unwholesome appearance,

  which made his complexion rather more cloudy than it was before.

  But, while he was thus engaged, his caution and inquisitiveness did

  not forsake him, for with a face as sharp and cunning as ever, he

  often stopped, even in this short process, and stood listening for any

  conversation in the next room, of which he might be the theme.

  'Ah!' he said after a short effort of attention, 'it was not the towel

  over my ears, I thought it wasn't. I'm a little hunchy villain and a

  monster, am I, Mrs Jiniwin? Oh!'

  The pleasure of this discovery called up the old doglike smile in full

  force. When he had quite done with it, he shook himself in a very

  doglike manner, and rejoined the ladies.

  Mr Quilp now walked up to front of a looking-glass, and was

  standing there putting on his neckerchief, when Mrs Jiniwin

  happening to be behind him, could not resist the inclination she felt

  to shake her fist at her tyrant son-in-law. It was the gesture of an

  instant, but as she did so and accompanied the action with a

  menacing look, she met his eye in the glass, catching her in the very

  act. The same glance at the mirror conveyed to her the reflection of a

  horribly grotesque and distorted face with the tongue lolling out; and

  the next instant the dwarf, turning about with a perfectly bland and

  placid look, inquired in a tone of great affection.

  'How are you now, my dear old darling?'

  Slight and ridiculous as the incident was, it made him appear such a

  little fiend, and withal such a keen and knowing one, that the old

  woman felt too much afraid of him to utter a single word, and

  suffered herself to be led with extraordinary politeness to the

  breakfast-table. Here he by no means diminished the impression he

  had
just produced, for he ate hard eggs, shell and all, devoured

  gigantic prawns with the heads and tails on, chewed tobacco and

  water-cresses at the same time and with extraordinary greediness,

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  drank boiling tea without winking, bit his fork and spoon till they

  bent again, and in short performed so many horrifying and

  uncommon acts that the women were nearly frightened out of their

  wits, and began to doubt if he were really a human creature. At last,

  having gone through these proceedings and many others which were

  equally a part of his system, Mr Quilp left them, reduced to a very

  obedient and humbled state, and betook himself to the river-side,

  where he took boat for the wharf on which he had bestowed his

  name.

  It was flood tide when Daniel Quilp sat himself down in the ferry to

  cross to the opposite shore. A fleet of barges were coming lazily on,

  some sideways, some head first, some stern first; all in a wrong-headed,

  dogged, obstinate

  way, bumping up against the larger craft,

  running under the bows of steamboats, getting into every kind of

  nook and corner where they had no business, and being crunched on

  all sides like so many walnut-shells; while each with its pair of long

  sweeps struggling and splashing in the water looked like some

  lumbering fish in pain. In some of the vessels at anchor all hands

  were busily engaged in coiling ropes, spreading out sails to dry,

  taking in or discharging their cargoes; in others no life was visible

  but two or three tarry boys, and perhaps a barking dog running to

  and fro upon the deck or scrambling up to look over the side and

  bark the louder for the view. Coming slowly on through the forests

  of masts was a great steamship, beating the water in short impatient

  strokes with her heavy paddles as though she wanted room to

  breathe, and advancing in her huge bulk like a sea monster among

  the minnows of the Thames. On either hand were long black tiers of

  colliers; between them vessels slowly working out of harbour with

  sails glistening in the sun, and creaking noise on board, re-echoed

  from a hundred quarters. The water and all upon it was in active

  motion, dancing and buoyant and bubbling up; while the old grey

  Tower and piles of building on the shore, with many a church-spire

  shooting up between, looked coldly on, and seemed to disdain their