Beyond Lies

by Alka Dimri Saklani

  Later, dad fixed CCTV outside our home and ensured I didn’t walk out of the house alone. Samar picked me up and dropped me home every day. But the fear had become a permanent resident of my mind, a morbid feeling of being watched hovered over me. No matter where I was, what I did, a pair of invisible eyes followed me. I switched back to my old wardrobe with my loose dresses. I was a coward. Yes, I was. But every time I tried to step out of my fear, the shredded pieces of that doll flashed back and choked me. For quite a while I avoided stepping out of my home, except to the office with Samar and Devansh, but I didn’t go on any other dates with Samar. One day, after a lot of pestering from mom, dad, and Avinash, I finally dared to go on a date, but I wore my normal dress, mickey mouse T-shirt and blue jeans. I feared being watched, and more than I feared my own safety, I was scared that my psychopath stalker might try to harm Samar also.

  While driving, Samar was chatty, and I was silent, as if we had shifted places. But as much as I wanted, I couldn’t focus on what he said, my eyes searched for a stranger that followed my every move. The man at the crossroad? The boy who just overtook our car? That middle age man on his bicycle? That huge boy on his bike? Who was he? Every face had begun to turn monstrous and every movement dangerous.

  “Tia.” Samar patted my hand when he realised I wasn’t listening.

  “Hmmm.”

  “I have a surprise for you. Let’s go to my home.”

  I was more than happy at the prospect. At least I could focus on him rather than searching for a random threat in the crowd.

  Soon we were at his place. Only after he closed the door did I relax. He went inside and came out with a gift in his hand.

  “Surprise for you. Hope you like it.”

  I opened it with a small smile daring to light up my face, it was a flowing pink gown with striped shoulders. It was beautiful, exactly something I wanted to wear for this date. How did he read me like that? I traced my fingers over the gown. “Thanks.” My voice was subdued, fear had conquered every part of me, even my voice.

  He told me to change and walked away to his balcony. After changing, when I walked to his balcony a surprise awaited me, it was more than what my heart could take in that fragile moment. I should have smiled, but I began to cry when I saw the beautifully decorated balcony, a small table adorned with beautiful scented candles, two comfortable chairs on each side and my love waiting for me. A sense of foreboding engulfed me, as if it was short lived, this happiness, this bliss, my life, wasn’t destined for so much love. The stalker would jump at any moment and snatch away everything that belonged to me.

  Samar pulled me in the shield of a strong hug, and I let my fear flow on his chest. Damsel in distress, isn’t that the word used for girls who find comfort in love? But I didn’t feel like a damsel. In that moment, when I heard his heart beating hard with worry, I felt precious. I felt loved.

  “Why are you so scared? We all are here for you. We won’t let that bastard even touch you.” His tone was protective, possessive, scared and angry, all at once. We stood like that, hugging each other tight for a solid minute before sitting down for our dinner.

  A forbidden smile spread on my face when I saw pani puri alongside the multicuisine dinner. I remembered telling him about pani puri being my favourite. I ate a heavy meal after a long time.

  After dinner we sat on the floor on the balcony, side by side holding hands and I rested my head on his shoulder, it was all that I needed that day.

  “Tia?”

  “Hmmm.”

  “Will you marry me?”

  I picked my head up from his shoulder and studied his face. His eyes were different in that moment, laced with a myriad of emotions. The moment was so surreal that I felt disconnected for a while. Amid all the stress, my heart soared. Since the day I saw that shredded doll, I couldn’t feel anything but fear, but today, sitting under the star lit sky in my pink gown with the love of my life proposing me, a soft breeze caressing us, life seemed beautiful. I didn’t dare to think beyond that moment.

  But with every passing minute my heart dared to hope for a happy life, and I nodded.

  His kiss on the back of my hand filled me with warmth and security and I melted in his arms. And we just sat like that for a long time, because my heart was so full right now, with fear in the backdrop and bliss in the fourth, that the tiniest bit of any more emotion would have ripped me apart.

  49. Tia

  The next day, Samar came to talk with my parents about our engagement. I liked that he was open with them when he talked about his parents. He answered all the questions dad asked him. He even called his father so our parents could talk. An official engagement was fixed for the coming week. Samar took me shopping as he didn’t want to leave me on my own for a single moment and with every passing day, I wondered how I had gotten so lucky to find such a loving partner.

  My engagement was now just two days away and I was exhausted after a long day at the office, followed by rigorous shopping. At night, when I went to Kiara’s home, the door was open, I hurried inside because she never left her door open.

  She was pulling out clothes from almirah and throwing them in the open suitcase on her bed and simultaneously wiping her tears.

  “What happened Kiara?” I touched her shoulder.

  “Awwwww!” She jumped back, putting a hand on her chest. “Oh my god Tia, you gave me a heart attack.”

  “Your door was open, but what happened? Why are you crying and why are you packing you bag?”

  “Mom is admitted in hospital, she is serious.” She sat down next to the suitcase. I sat down next to her.

  “Oh no, what happened?”

  “I don’t know. They are not telling me. I need to leave to see her immediately.”

  It was selfish of me to think about myself when her mother needed her, but my heart sank that she wouldn’t be present for my engagement.

  “I am so sorry Tia. I know I was supposed to stay by your side all the time. It’s your special day and…and I can’t be there.”

  “Don’t be stupid, there’s nothing you can do about it.” I tried to be compassionate instead of the stupid selfish girl I felt like on the inside. “Should I postpone my engagement?” My engagement wouldn’t be the same without her. She was not just a friend; she was the sister I never had.

  “Don’t be mad!” she snapped. “In fact, it would be better without…” She bit her lips and I remembered how she was trained to believe she was unlucky.

  “Your presence can’t ruin anything in my life Kiara, your absence can. Go and take care of your mother and I promise you I won’t marry if you are not present. You are going to be my bridesmaid, and without you, I am not going to marry.”

  “I am sorry Tia, but I promise you I will be your bridesmaid.”

  She walked to the almirah and pulled out a small box wrapped in red gift wrapper. “I wanted to gift it to you on your engagement day, but since I won’t be present, I am giving this to you now.”

  I opened the box, it was the idol of God Ganesha. “An auspicious beginning for your new life, and to ward off the dangers away from your life.” She smiled and I almost smothered her with a bear hug.

  “I will miss you.” I said.

  “Me too, now leave me, you should preserve these hugs for your hunk.” She teased me, and I laughed amid the emotional turmoil.

  After a little while, I walked back to my home with a heavy heart.

  ---

  Though dad wanted a grand engagement, he agreed for a smaller one at mine and Samar’s request due to security concerns. And so, we were at a small resort with immediate family and friends, a group of 50 people max.

  The moment when we exchanged rings was the happiest moment of my life. I forced myself to believe it was real, even though it didn’t feel like, it was like a dream come true.

  Samar’s dad gave us his blessings over a video call, though it was clear Samar was only talking to him out of courtesy, not any emotional bonding. But then I cou
ldn’t even fathom my dad not being present on such an important ceremony of my life. The call was short and curt.

  I terribly missed Kiara and called her a few times to check. Her mother was better, but still in the hospital and she sounded worried. I nudged her to video call and she reluctantly agreed. One look at her told me that she was crying, though she had dimmed the light so I couldn’t make it out.

  “Congratulations to the both of you.” She smiled.

  “Thanks Kiara.” Samar said.

  “I have heard so much about you, I can’t wait to meet you.” She replied.

  “Same here.” Samar raised the drink in his hand.

  “Ok, then see you soon, but for now you enjoy, it’s your big day, and I will take a leave.”

  “Bye…” I said, but she had already disconnected the phone. We never had any formalities between us, and I was by then used to her abrupt phone disconnects, but I guess Samar mistook her curt talk to rudeness.

  “Her mother is sick, and she is really upset.” I clarified, though Samar didn’t ask for it.

  “Yes, definitely, I understand.” He said, his gaze fixed somewhere far away. My gaze followed and rested on a waiter staring at us, and suddenly the hairs of my neck raised. The waiter moved away as soon as he found us watching him. I looked around but almost every eye was on us. Of course, it was our engagement party and we were standing in a corner talking to each other, which was both impolite and indecent.

  “Come, let’s blend in the crowd.” Samar touched my back and we moved.

  After the doll incident, I didn’t face anything abnormal, though I was no fool to feel safe. Fear had stepped down a little to give space to other jovial feelings, but it was still there, subdued, like an angry animal hidden in the bushes ready to pounce at any moment, and every time I saw a stranger, be it a waiter or the hotel staff, it pounced on me, and just when I was sure everything was under control, it went back in the hiding, waiting for another weak moment, another attack.

  50. Tia

  It had been almost three months since our engagement and our marriage was fixed for the coming month.

  I was extremely bored of being at home all the time. Earlier, I used to go to the office with Samar, but since he was on a week’s tour, he had assigned me work from home.

  I had begun to feel like a coward, always dependent on others for every little thing. Why should I be so scared? Why didn’t I have the guts to fight back? And most importantly, how long could I depend on others for my regular errands? I didn’t hear from my stalker, not because he wasn’t a threat anymore, but because he had no means to reach me. My phone number was changed and only my immediate family and a few trusted friends had that number. We checked our CCTV footage daily to see if we could track anyone, but we didn’t see anything unusual.

  A slight commotion from mom’s bedroom pulled my attention. I walked to her room. She was in the washroom and I heard her throwing up.

  “Mom, are you ok?” I knocked at the door.

  She opened the door in a while; her face covered with sweat.

  “It seems I am dehydrated.” She tiredly walked up to the bed.

  In the next two hours she went to the washroom five more times and I was worried by the sixth time. I called my family doctor.

  “Did she have any outside food recently?” he asked.

  “Yes, yesterday we ordered pav bhaji from outside.’

  “It must be a case of food poisoning, don’t worry. Though I can’t come right away I will be there in an hour. In the meantime, please make sure you give her ORS.”

  There was no ORS at home, so I decided to go to the chemist. Dad and Avinash weren’t expected home anytime soon and frankly, I was tired of feeling like an invalid. I was just going to the chemist, what could go wrong? I went to tell mom, but she had slept, so I let her rest and picked up my car keys and went to the chemist. I drove back home after getting the ORS sachets.

  It was difficult to believe it was only 10 p.m. There were rarely any streets that were deserted in Mumbai, and this was one of those streets, the same place where I saw the doll shredded into pieces. Wasn’t it the safest place for the stalker to go unnoticed? The thick bushes on either side provided good hiding and it was deserted most of the time. In the pitch dark, only a few feet away from my car, I saw an injured puppy. I looked around but couldn’t’ see anyone. The road was narrow and by no means I could cross it without driving on the puppy.

  It was just an injured puppy, but the deserted dark night gave me chills and I called dad. He didn’t pick up the call, he must be in a meeting. Samar was not in town, so I thought of calling Avinash, but I knew I was being paranoid. Bashing myself for being a coward I got down to get a look at the puppy. I would carry him home until he was cured. I took my mobile with me.

  Despite many complaints, the municipal corporation failed to repair the flickering streetlight and the frame of the puppy appeared and vanished with every flicker of the light. The puppy wasn’t moving. Was he already dead?

  Footsteps?

  A cold sweat broke through me and I looked around but there was no one there. I was just being paranoid. Or was I? I sat still, alert for a while.

  There I heard it again. Something like footsteps on dry leaves. I looked into the dense foliage, but darkness had swallowed the shades and textures and all I could see was the silhouettes of oddly shaped trees.

  My heart drumming in my ribcage I bent down to get a look at the puppy and as soon as I touched it my mind shut down…

  It was a fake puppy, a brilliantly made soft toy…

  A trap…

  Before I could get up and run to my car, a shadow danced in front of me, and my face was covered in a sack.

  A strange smell filled my nostrils, and I tried to pull the sack away from my face. But my strength was no match to my predator.

  My phone beep echoed in the silence and I swiped my finger over it, the call went on speaker.

  “Tia.”

  Dad…his voice filled me with a hope. The stalker tried to pull away the phone, but I didn’t let go, I struggled to break free from the strong grip, but my screams came muffled from the sack.

  “Tia…” his voice panicked. “Where are you...where are you? Hold on, I am coming”. Finally, the stalker managed to pull away the phone. I vaguely remembered the weak hope budding in my heart…we had installed a mobile tracker for safety reasons. The last thought before my mind shut down was …

  Dad would reach me…but would it be too late?

  PART TWO

  NOW…

  51. Tia’s Moth

  er

  The phone trembles in my hand and I struggle to speak, the words dry on my lips.

  “Who’s it?” Avinash’s voice comes distorted to my ears.

  “T…T…T” He snatches the phone from my hand, and I collapse on the sofa.

  “Tia…Tia…yes…yes…which hospital? We will be there.” He speaks fast, nervously and disconnects the phone.

  “She will be fine.” He says holding my hand, but I hate the lack of confidence in his voice. He pulls me to the door. “Dad, come fast, they have found Tia.”

  The next moment, they share some conversation, but I can’t listen to a thing. All I hear is the echo of the words, “She is in ICU. We found her covered in blood. Please prepare yourself before you see her. We are taking her to the hospital.” What do they mean by that? Prepare? Is she gone?

  NOOOO

  I am screaming. Avinash’s arm comes around me. “Mom, she will be fin…” he chokes, why he doesn’t finish the sentence. Why?

  The journey to the hospital is the longest journey of my life, it also reminds me of a similar journey long back and I panic.

  No…no…no…not this time. God, please let her live, god please, if it’s one life you want it can be mine. I keep on praying throughout the journey. I keep on chanting all the mantras, too disoriented to do anything else. Tia’s face floats in front of me, she is wearing her favourite pink T-shir
t, and giggling like a small girl. I force myself to refocus on chanting the mantras. This time I can see her saying, “Mom, I am in love…” I redirect my thoughts to chant the mantra…but her voice comes back in waves, “Some stalker might just kidnap me someday and you won’t even notice until it’s too late.” I once again try to divert my mind.

  It takes an eternity to reach the hospital and the walls of the hospital close around me the moment we step in. I struggle to keep walking and take the support of the wall when I lose it. An injured girl is being taken on a stretcher, she is drenched in blood and her face isn’t even visible, hidden beneath the red thick blood. I pity her mother and look away.

  “Tia,” Avinash’s trembling voice stings my ears and I force myself to look at her…

  No…No…No…she is not my Tia…my Tia is chubby, not a bundle of bones. My Tia has long hair, not chunked up lifeless strands. My Tia had baby soft skin, not skin filled with scars. She used to cry at the smallest scratch. She couldn’t have coped with so much pain…how…how…did she bear it all? How?

  Everything recedes away before darkness consumes me.

  When I reconnect to the world, Avinash is sprinkling water on my face, his eyes are filled with tears. I am pulled to a long time back when I lost my brother.

  “Is she….” I can’t complete the sentence.

  “Doctors are checking her mom. Keep faith.” His voice breaks.

  Dev keeps on pacing the corridor, Avinash sits with my hand in his, everything feels unreal, something out of a crime movie, not something that could happen to us.

  When the doctor opens the door, a feeling of dread consumes me and I feel so disconnected from the world that I can’t even gather the courage to talk to the doctor. The minutes pass by in slow motion, it’s in slow motion the doctor removes his specs, he walks towards us, Dev and Avinash walk towards him and speak, I struggle to come out of the eerie silence that has enveloped me.