Beyond Lies
Page 19
And that’s exactly what happened with me. Samar, I was always scared of losing you. You know your mother never approved of me and that fuelled my insecurity. I never doubted your love, what I doubted was my own destiny. That day she threatened me to break our engagement, I didn’t want to kill her, I just wanted to save our relationship. I was not ready to return to the harrowing loneliness that ate away my childhood. I know it is too much to ask for, but can you forgive me? And before deciding, don’t forget what a person can do in rage, you remember the night we separated. Don’t you?
Tia, with you everything was different. I never had to ask for your love, it came free and in abundance. You gave love easily, because you got it easily. You never had to crave, ask, or beg for it. Maybe that’s why you never understood pain, and maybe that’s why you sometimes failed to understand me too. Do you remember the moment when you told me you were in love with Samar? You were so happy; you didn’t even notice my silence. After telling me you were in love, you went on and on about a thousand things, not even realising that I wasn’t listening anymore. That was the first moment I felt disconnect between us, saw the huge distance between us. You didn’t know pain. You never suffered and maybe that was the reason you often didn’t understand me. You needed to know pain. Only pain could connect us at a deeper level. But I never harmed you Tia. I never manipulated your body. I love differently, it’s more of a connection of soul. You must trust me on this. I just cleaned you after you went unconscious, I know how much you hated being untidy.
Eventually you would have walked out of those scars; I would have helped you. Believe me. By the time you would have healed we would have become inseparable. Our quest of love would have ended with each other.
But, alas, I wasn’t destined to be loved.
Tia and Samar, don’t blame yourself for my death, you didn’t kill me. I did. I might have survived this injury, but I don’t have any more strength to fight the hatred of the people I loved the most. Tia, Samar…and my mother.
I loved you in this life, I will love you beyond this life. Beyond those lies my love for you was real.
Tia, I have a little gift for you in my almirah drawer, it’s packed. Please accept it. If you accept it, I will know you have forgiven me, and I will be free from worldly ties.
I know the scars I gave you can’t be erased, but I hope this goodbye reminds you of the girl who beyond all her lies and deceits wanted nothing more than to be loved.
Though I started off as Simran, I don’t know how to sign off, I don’t know any more if I am Simran or Kiara…
64. Tia
Nine Months Later… … …
Time is dead. Stagnant. The world is running, but in my mind everything is stagnant. Almost dead.
Sometimes…no, many times…I suddenly halt, no matter where I am. Sometimes its ok because the street is empty, but sometimes I almost survive a near miss by a speeding vehicle I didn’t hope to miss. But why do I halt? Because any random face in the crowd morphs into Kiara’s face, her eyes fixed on me, and the expression in them so strong yet so confusing that it unhinges me from the truth and before I can reach her, she vanishes. Just like that.
Love is a beautiful feeling, hatred is ugly, but love and hatred towards the same person is daunting. Tiring. It’s a constant struggle to reach at either end.
I have settled for peace. Forgiveness can’t be forced, it comes at its own pace, if it ever comes. I walk towards my almirah and pull out the gift Kiara gave me, and I tear the wrapper.
The statue trembles in my hands; two little girls are sitting on a swing hanging from a tree branch. One is fair, one is dark. One has waist-length wavy hair; one has shoulder-length straight hair. One is short, one is tall.
One is Tia, one is Kiara.
She will always be Kiara for me. I don’t know any Simran.
The words engraved at the base of the statue speak to me and I can almost hear Kiara’s whisper.
“Friends forever.”
It’s after nine months that I cry. I cry for the loss of my innocence, my faith.
And my friend.
I wail, I scream, I shout and let it out. I let out all the pain trapped inside my little heart. I allow myself to feel something other than the harrowing numbness that had consumed me, altered me for life.
My knees buckle and I fall to the floor, hugging the statue tight. I remember the girl who, beneath the layers of her lies and deceits, longed for love. I allow myself to remember the good times we had; I allow myself to remember the promise we made.
“Friends forever,” I whisper.
I allow love to seep through the sieve of hatred. Tainted love is how I will define my relationship with Kiara. Tainted and love…isn’t it strange that those words can even breathe side by side? But then, what wasn’t strange about Kiara?
Finally, when I gain control over my emotions, I push back the gift in the almirah. I don’t have the heart to keep it on a rack and see it every day, and I don’t have the strength to throw it away either. I push it back in the bottom, beneath the piles of my old stuff. On the surface, no one can say there is something so strong, so unsettling in this almirah, because it’s hidden deep inside.
I close the almirah and look at my reflection in the mirror.
And I let out a sad laugh at the uncanny similarity.
65. Samar
One Year Later… … … …
Sometimes our broken pieces lie in the past. But we need to move on with whatever is left of us.
Tia didn’t complain of seeing Simran, well Kiara in her words, after she opened her gift. Tia believes Kiara wasn’t gone until she accepted her gift. What do I think? I don’t know, I don’t want to ponder on that. But I haven’t seen her halt mid conversation since then. I haven’t seen her stopping in the middle of the street. She has stabilized, and finally when she was ready for the wedding, I literally pinched myself to check if I was dreaming. Finally, we are ready for a new life, a happy life.
She looks stunning in her red bridal saree as we enter our home, and for a tiny moment, I see her halting suddenly and she waves a goodbye to no one in particular. Maybe she is bidding a final goodbye to her friend.
Sometimes I still wonder where our story would be if Tia didn’t drop her phone in my room that day. I wouldn’t have known she was with Simran. I wouldn’t have got Simran’s number from Tia’s mobile. I wouldn’t have used my contacts with the telecom industry to track Simran’s phone and Simran would have taken Tia far out of our reach. The thought still gives me goose bumps.
The owner of the farmhouse in the servant quarter of which Tia was held captive was appalled when police contacted him over phone, he knew nothing of what was happening. He had shifted to the US and the caretaker of his farmhouse gave the keys of the servant quarter to Simran at a hefty price and it was in benefit of both Simran and the caretaker to keep it a secret. The one room servant quarter was the perfect place for captivity since the nearing farmhouses were empty as it was off season, so Tia’s voice couldn’t reach anyone, nor anyone could reach her. What a perfect plan Simran had laid out.
Tia was devastated by the lies I told her, well not lies, the secrets I kept, but by that time she was capable of understanding what Simran could do to a person; her love crossed all boundaries of obsession, so much so, that it didn’t even remain love after crossing all the boundaries. It turned to something so ugly that it ruined both; the one she loved and herself.
Yes, there are still a few lies between us, me and Tia. Like I never revealed to her that Simran’s head injury was fatal and she couldn’t have survived the blow even if she didn’t remove the oxygen mask. Over time I convinced Tia that it was suicide, not murder. Simran had recorded in another audio for police that she didn’t blame anyone for her death. She accepted her crimes and said she was injured because Tia was trying to defend herself, she also said she had witnessed Ritesh stalking Tia and Ritesh was charged under IPC 354D for stalking. Simran’s statements reminded me of wh
y I fell in love with her. Her love knew no boundaries, but sometimes I think boundaries are good, it keeps people sane. And safe.
The second lie is that Simran could have killed me if Tia didn’t hit her. There was no bullet in Simran’s gun and Tia can’t know this. Tia won’t be able to survive the truth of what she did to Simran in the panic of that moment. At that moment, even I didn’t know, but later I remembered Simran once told me she kept an empty gun with her that she might someday need since she lived alone. I had checked her gun after they both went unconscious. Simran had a severe misconception that body and soul are not connected. She believed she could shatter a soul and then magically heal them and bound them to her. She could kill the soul of the person she loved, but she would never harm the body. She could never harm her mother, or me, or Tia. Never. Though no one ever harmed us like she did. After Simran’s recorded statement, the police didn’t delve much into the other details since it was an open and closed case.
We are now in our home, man and wife, and Tia is standing at the balcony, her hands stretch out to gather rain drops in her open hands. A smile lights up her face that reaches her eyes after a long, very long time, almost years. She looks at peace with herself. Finally.
I gather her in a hug and thank almighty for this day in my life as she snuggles in. Sometimes, we have to, we just have to search for the happiness that lays…beyond lies.
More about Beyond Series
All three books in ‘Beyond Series’ differ totally from each other and you can read any single book without reading the others. While ‘Beyond Lies’ is a psychological thriller, ‘Beyond Secrets’ is a contemporary fiction and ‘Beyond Scars’ is an unconventional love story. Apart from one character whose journey is followed in the next book, the only thing common in all the three stories is the twist you won’t see coming.
BOOK 1: BEYOND SECRETS
Noel is a counselor who risks his career for volunteering in an orphanage.
Nidhi is an engineering student on the surface, but deep down a broken girl in search of some unanswered questions.
Appu is a sweet little orphan, unaware of the cruelties of the world.
Despite being miles apart their stories interweave in Aashiyana - the orphanage. Their little journey together changes their lives in a way they never imagined.
One recurring nightmare, one unexpected phone call, one stolen diary, many lies and secrets, and a calling from the past are just the highlights. And when they depart, they are not the same anymore.
They didn’t hurt each other, it was a game of destiny. Will they ever be able to rediscover themselves and more importantly, will their paths ever cross again?
Beyond Secrets is a novel with layers of suspense and different nuances of relationships. And one question that can’t have just one answer - How long does it take for a scar to heal?
Link to Amazon Kindle Edition
Link for Paperback Edition
BOOK 2 : BEYOND SCARS
Hi, I am Avinash, but this is not my story. This is the story of Avni, my sister. I know the smell of cement and bricks still pulls her to the incident seven years ago where she made a daring yet ruthless decision. I know she is drifting away. I know she has begun to find comfort in Vivaan. But I don’t know if I like it.
Hi, I am Avni, but this is not my story. This is the story of Vivaan, the stunning, vivacious painter. There is something sad about the paintings he has locked away from the world in his storeroom. But he never talks about it. But then there are a lot of things he doesn’t talks about, like how deeply he loves me.
And what about Dev and Kangana? Isn’t this their story too? It wouldn’t have been if only we did one single thing differently on that ill-fated night, the night that changed the course of our destiny. And hey, I am Vivaan.
And what about me? Why does nobody talk about me? Or talk to me? Because I am a little girl or because…Well, this is my story too. You will ask who I am? The answer lies somewhere in the pages of BEYOND SCARS.
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Acknowledgement
First and foremost, a special thanks to you, for picking up this book and for being a part of my writing journey. You are the reason I write.
I would also like to thank Asha Dimri and Animesh Nautiyal for beta reading my book and helping me to improve my work in numerous ways.
A special thanks to Paige Lawson, my editor, for all the necessary corrections and timely delivery.
Thanks to Gaurav Saklani, my dear husband, and my kids Arnav and Aryan, for tolerating my writing mania. It’s not a secret that writers can get crazy sometimes and I am no different.
How can I forget my author friends, because of whom my writing journey is not so lonely anymore. Thanks to my every author friend for all the motivation you send my way. A special thanks to Nivedita Vedurla for always helping me out in so many ways, from helping me finalize my cover, book title and everything in between.
Thanks to my friends and family who motivate me in innumerable ways. Every like, every share, every comment is invaluable. Keep them coming.
A big thanks to KDP for their hassle-free publishing platform.
Finally, thank you GOD, for this book and everything.
About The Author
Alka Dimri Saklani is a novelist and author of the much loved ‘Beyond Series’. Her debut novel “45 Days in a Cancer Hospital” was longlisted for the prestigious Crossword Books award 2013.
Her readers define her writing as intense though she dreams of writing a breezy read someday.
She has searched more baby name websites to find names of her characters than she did to select the names of her kids. Sometimes she talks to her characters more than she talks to real people. But believe me she isn’t crazy; she is just a writer.
She holds MBA degree in HR and worked with a leading MNC before turning to a full-time writer. Born and brought up in Vadodara, a city in Gujarat, her roots hail from “Dev Bhumi” Uttarakhand. Apart from writing, she loves music, reading, and spending time with her two naughty kids.
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