Wanda E. Brunstetter

by Twice Loved

  She’d thought at first that Dan’s lack of interest in her was due to Leona Howard, but shortly after the woman’s last visit to the store, Dan had told Bev he had informed Leona he wasn’t free to pursue a relationship with her because she wasn’t a Christian. He’d also made it clear that he hadn’t fully recovered from his wife’s death and didn’t know if he would ever be ready for a relationship with another woman.

  Bev opened the door to her apartment, allowing her thoughts to return to the present. She and Amy had purchased a Christmas tree at a reduced price, and the man at the tree lot would be delivering it soon. For the rest of the evening, she planned for the two of them to decorate the tree, snack on popcorn and apple cider, and sing whatever Christmas songs were played on the radio.

  That should take my mind off Dan Fisher, Bev told herself as she entered the living room and clicked on the light.

  Amy went straight to her room and returned a few minutes later with Baby Sue. She placed the doll on the sofa and plunked down beside her. “We’re gonna wait right here till the tree arrives,” she announced.

  “I think it’s here already, because I hear the rumbling of a truck.”

  Amy jumped up and raced for the door. Bev caught her hand, and the two of them hurried down the steps and onto the sidewalk.

  The delivery man was already unloading the tree from the back of his pickup. “Want me to haul this upstairs for you?”

  Bev shook her head. “I’m sure I can manage.”

  “It’s a pretty big tree, ma’am.”

  “Thanks anyway.”

  He merely shrugged and climbed back into his truck.

  Grabbing hold of the cumbersome tree trunk and directing Amy to go ahead of her, Bev huffed and puffed her way up the flight of stairs until she stood in front of her door. She leaned the tree against the wall and studied it, wondering if the oversize tree could be squeezed through the doorway.

  She turned to Amy. “Sweetie, I want you to go into the living room and wait for me. After I bring the tree inside, we can begin decorating it.”

  “Okay.”

  Amy disappeared inside, and Bev grabbed hold of the tree, lining the trunk up with the door. She gave it a hefty thrust, but it only went halfway and wedged against the doorjamb. “Oomph!” She pushed hard again, almost losing her balance and catching herself before she fell into the scraggly branches.

  Bev dropped to her knees and crawled under the limbs. Maybe I can grab hold of the trunk and push it through that way. Grasping both sides, she gritted her teeth and gave it a shove. The tree didn’t budge.

  With a sense of determination, Bev reassessed her situation. This time, facing the hallway, she would back in under the branches, grab hold, and try to pull the tree as she scooted through the doorway.

  Bev had backed partway through the evergreen tunnel when a pair of men’s shoes appeared. She froze.

  The branches above her head parted, and Dan grinned down at her. “Oops. Looks like I’m too late.”

  “Too late for what?”

  “I…uh…brought you a tree.”

  “You did what?”

  He shuffled his feet a few times, and Bev pushed against the branches of the tree again, hoping to dislodge it. In the process, her hair stuck to a prickly bough. “I’m trapped, and so is the tree,” she admitted sheepishly.

  Dan reached through and untangled her hair. “See if you can back your way into the living room, and I’ll try to follow with the tree.”

  Bev was skeptical but did as he suggested. Once she had clambered out from under the branches, she stood off to one side and waited to see what would happen.

  To her amazement, Dan and the tree made their entrance a few minutes later. He obviously had more strength than she did.

  After Amy greeted “Uncle Dan,” Bev asked the child to go to her room and play. Then she turned to face Dan. “Now what’s this about you bringing another tree?”

  He swiped his hand across his damp forehead. “I—I figured you probably couldn’t afford to buy a nice tree, so I bought you one and was going to leave it outside your door.”

  “An anonymous gift?”

  He nodded and offered her a sheepish grin. “To be perfectly honest, I’ve done a couple other secret things, too.”

  She frowned. “Such as?”

  He pointed to the front door. “While I wasn’t the one who actually hung the wreath there, I did pay for it and asked the girls from church to put it on your door Thanksgiving morning.”

  Bev sank onto the couch.“Anything else I should know?”

  He shifted uneasily. “Well…”

  She blew out an exasperated breath.

  “I know the man who owns this building, and when you said you were interested in renting an apartment here but might not be able to afford it, I agreed to pay your landlord the extra twenty dollars he normally would have charged per month.”

  Bev’s mouth fell open. “Why would you do such a thing without asking me?”

  “When I offered to increase your wages, you flatly refused, and several times you’ve mentioned that you don’t want any charity. I thought the only way I could help was to do it anonymously.”

  Bev’s body trembled as she fought for control. How dare this man go behind her back! “Please take the tree and the wreath to your own home. I’ll speak to Mr. Dawson in the morning about the rent.”

  “Does that mean you won’t accept any of my gifts?”

  She shook her head as tears pooled in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you, Bev.”

  She made no reply.

  “I–I’d better get going.” Dan turned for the door. “I hope I’ll see you at the store tomorrow.”

  As much as she was tempted to quit working at Twice Loved, Bev knew it would be difficult to find another job. Besides, she enjoyed the work she did there. “I’ll make sure I’m on time,” she mumbled.

  The following morning, Bev found it difficult to concentrate on her work. Last night, she and Amy had decorated their tree, and she’d lain awake for hours thinking about Dan and the gifts he’d given her in secret. She had lost her temper and hadn’t shown any appreciation for his thoughtfulness. I need to apologize, but he also has to understand that I won’t accept his charity.

  She glanced around the store. Christmas was only a few days away, and most of the toys had been picked over. Most that were left needed repair. She’d been too busy with customers to get more mending done. She was also behind on the book work and wanted to finish that before the week was out. It was time to get busy and quit thinking about Dan.

  Since there were no customers at the moment, Bev decided to start with the book work. She seated herself at the desk, opened the drawer, and reached for the ledger, prepared to record the previous day’s receipts.

  Near the back of the drawer, she discovered a folded slip of paper. Funny, she’d never noticed it before. Curious, she unfolded the paper and silently read the words.

  One thing I have learned since I was diagnosed with leukemia is not to worry about things I can’t change. Every day God gives me is like a special gift, and I am putting my trust in Him. I’ve also learned to accept help whenever it’s offered. I used to be too proud to ask for assistance, thinking I could do everything in my own strength. But since I became sick, I have no choice except to rely on others. Dan has been especially helpful, often setting his own needs aside for mine. I know he would rather be in his photography studio than at the toy store, yet he works here without complaint.

  Bev blinked away tears. Dan’s late wife had obviously written the note before she’d become too ill to be at the store, but for whom was it intended? Perhaps it was a letter to a friend or family member and Darcy had forgotten to mail it.

  The poor woman had been through more than Bev could imagine, yet Bev realized Darcy had kept a positive, thankful attitude despite her ill health. She’d learned not to worry and had been willing to accept help, two areas in which Bev often stru
ggled.

  She realized, too, that Dan had only been trying to help when he’d given money toward her rent and purchased the tree and wreath. Even so, she didn’t want to feel beholden to a man who only saw her as his employee—a man who was still in love with his wife and might never be ready for a relationship with another woman. Too bad she hadn’t been able to keep from falling in love with him.

  Dan stared at Darcy’s Bible lying on his desk. He’d discovered it in the bottom drawer of their dresser this morning and felt compelled to bring it to work with him. Maybe it was because Christmas was fast approaching and he needed the comfort of having something near that belonged to his wife. This was Darcy’s favorite time of the year, and every Christmas carol he heard on the radio, every decorated tree he saw in a window, and each Christmas shopper who came into the toy store reminded him of her.

  Dan leaned forward and closed his eyes. Help me, Lord. Help me not to forget my sweet Darcy.

  He had been fighting his attraction to Bev ever since she came into the store looking for a doll for her daughter, yet he hadn’t succumbed to the temptation of telling her how he felt. He couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to his wife’s memory.

  Dan opened his eyes and randomly turned the pages of Darcy’s Bible. To his surprise, an envelope fell out, and he saw that it was addressed to him. With trembling fingers, he tore open the flap and removed the piece of paper.

  My Dearest Dan,

  If you’re reading this letter, then I have passed from this world into the next. One thing you can be sure of is that I’m no longer in pain. Take comfort in knowing I am healed and in my Savior’s arms.

  Dan’s throat constricted as he tried to imagine his precious wife running through the streets of heaven, whole and at peace. With a need to know what else she had written, he read on.

  My greatest concern is that you will continue to grieve after I’m gone, when you should be moving on with your life. You’re a wonderful Christian man who has so much love and compassion to give. Please don’t spend excessive time mourning for me. Praise God that I’m happy, and ask Him to bring joy into your life again.

  just as you and I have shared the love of Jesus with others, I pray you will continue to do the same—not only through what we’ve done at Twice Loved but in your personal relationships.

  It’s my prayer that God will bring you a special Christian lady, because I know you will be the same wonderful husband to her as you have been to me.

  As you know, I always wanted to give you children, and I pray the Lord will bless you and your new wife with a family. Please know that by loving and being loved in return you will be honoring my wishes.

  May God richly bless you in the days to come.

  All my love,

  Darcy

  Tears welled up in Dan’s eyes and spilled onto his cheeks. Darcy’s letter was like healing balm, given at Just the right time. He realized now that Darcy wanted him to be happy and to find love again. But could he find it with Bev? Was she the one God meant for him? If so, then he had some fences to mend.

  Dan reached for the telephone. “First things first.”

  “Family Life Magazine,” a woman answered on the second ring.

  “May I speak to Pete Mackey?”

  “One moment, please, and I’ll see if he’s in.”

  There was a brief pause, then, “Mackey here.”

  “Pete, this is Dan Fisher, with Fisher Photography.”

  “Ah yes, I remember. How are you, Dan?”

  “I’m doing okay. Listen, Pete, I was wondering if you’re still interested in interviewing me for that article you’re writing on grief.”

  “Sure am. When can we talk?”

  “I’ll give you a call right after the New Year. How does that sound?”

  “Great! Thanks, Dan. I’m glad you’ve changed your mind.”

  Dan smiled. “Actually, it was my late wife who changed my mind, but I’ll tell you about that during the interview.”

  “Okay. I’ll look forward to hearing from you.”

  Dan hung up the phone feeling as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Now he had one more hurdle to jump, and that couldn’t wait until after the New Year. He pushed his chair away from the desk and headed down the hall for Twice Loved.

  When he entered the store, he realized Bev was with a customer. He paused inside the door, waiting for her to finish wrapping a doll for an elderly gentleman. As soon as the man left, Dan stepped up to her. “If you have a minute, I’d like to speak with you.”

  She tipped her head. “Is something wrong?”

  “Not unless you—”

  The telephone rang, interrupting him.

  “I’d better get that.” Bev moved to the desk and picked up the receiver. “Twice Loved. May I help you?” Her face paled, and Dan felt immediate concern. “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll be right there.”

  “What’s wrong?” he asked when she hung up the phone.

  Bev turned to face him, her eyes pooling with tears. “That was Amy’s teacher. Amy fell from a swing during recess and has been taken to the hospital.”

  Chapter 12

  Bev paced the floor of the hospital waiting room, anxious for some word on her daughter’s condition.

  “You’re going to wear a hole in the linoleum. Please come sit beside me and try to relax,” Dan said, patting the chair next to him.

  She clenched her fingers and continued to walk back and forth in front of the window. “What if her leg’s broken or she has a concussion? What if—”

  Dan left his seat and came to stand beside her. “Whatever is wrong, we’ll get through it together.”

  We? After the way I spoke to him last night, why is Dan being so nice? And what does he mean when he says “we”? Bev glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he said with the voice of assurance. “Amy’s a tough little girl, and she’s got youth on her side.”

  Bev nodded slowly. “I know, but—”

  “But you’re her mother, and you have a tendency to worry.”

  “Yes.”

  “I understand, but worry won’t change a thing.” He took Bev’s hand and led her over to the chairs. “Let’s pray, shall we?”

  Bev glanced around the room. There was an elderly couple sitting across from them, but they seemed to be engrossed in their magazines. “You want to pray now?”

  Dan offered her a reassuring smile. “Absolutely.” In a quiet voice, he prayed, “Heavenly Father, we ask You to be with Amy and calm her if she’s frightened. Give the doctors wisdom in their diagnosis, and help Bev remember to cast her burdens on You, the Great Physician.”

  Bev thought of a verse of scripture from the book of Matthew she had read the other evening. “ ‘Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.’ ”

  Lately, she’d been trying not to worry so much, but staying calm was hard to do when something went wrong. Especially when that “something” concerned her daughter.

  A few minutes later, a nurse entered the room and called to Bev. “The tests are done, and you may see your daughter now.”

  “Are her injuries serious?” Bev tried to keep her voice calm, but her insides churned like an eggbeater.

  “The doctor will give you the details,” the nurse replied, “but Amy’s going to be fine.”

  Bev drew in a deep breath. Thank You, Jesus. She turned to Dan. “Would you like to come with me?”

  He nodded and took her hand.

  Dan stood at the foot of Amy’s bed, relief flooding his soul. Her leg wasn’t broken, but her ankle had been badly sprained. She did have a concussion, though it was thought to be mild. The doctor wanted to keep her overnight for observation.

  Bev sat in the chair beside Amy, holding her hand and murmuring words of comfort. It was a touching scene, and Dan felt like an intruder.

  Maybe I should leave the two of them alone.
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br />   He turned toward the door, but Amy called out to him. “Where ya goin’, Uncle Dan?”

  “To the waiting room so you and your mother can talk.”

  Amy looked over at Bev. “We want Uncle Dan here, don’t we, Mommy?”

  Bev nodded. “If he wants to be.”

  Dan rushed to the side of the bed and stood behind Bev’s chair. “Of course I want to be. I want…” What exactly did he want? Was it to marry Bev and help her raise Amy? He rubbed the bridge of his nose. No, it was too soon for that. They’d only known each other a few months.

  “Can you come to our place for Christmas dinner, like you did on Thanksgiving?” the child asked.

  Dan’s gaze went to Bev, seeking her approval—or at least hoping for a clue as to whether she wanted him there or not.

  She smiled. “I’m sorry for the unkind things I said when you stopped by our place with the tree.”

  “It’s okay. I understand.”

  “No. I was wrong to refuse your help and the offer of gifts, and I hope you’ll accept my apology.”

  “Only if you will accept mine for overstepping my boundaries.”

  She nodded. “If you have no other plans for Christmas, we’d love to have you join us.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think coming to your place is a good idea.”

  Tears welled up in Amy’s eyes, and her lower lip trembled. “Why not? We had fun on Thanksgiving, didn’t we, Uncle Dan?”