Finally she speaks.
“Caydi says you’ve been looking for the secret exit.”
I nod, unsure of how I’m supposed to respond.
“You can’t do it on your own. There’s a group of us who meet every week in the woods just outside the school fence.”
She hands me a business card.
“Keep that. It’ll tell you when the next meeting is. This one is on Saturday afternoon.”
I glance down at the card and sure enough, it says, “Chess club. 2.30 p.m. Saturday.”
“Chess club?”
“We have to cover our tracks,” she says. “If a teacher found this with ‘Secret Exit Coalition’ written on it, we’d be in big trouble.”
I nod.
“You would be an asset to the group,” she says. “You and that boyfriend of yours know your way around—”
“He’s not my—”
“Just come along. Bring him too if he can be trusted to keep his gob shut. And don’t mention this to anyone. You’ve probably figured out by now that teachers aren’t too keen on this exit rumour and don’t want us looking for it.”
“It’s true then?”
She shrugs. “I think so. No one can prove it, obviously. But people have disappeared with no warning. You usually know when someone’s about to graduate, and these people weren’t. The problem is that if you find this thing, you have to go through it. You can’t go running back to us and tell everyone because the teachers would find out before you had a chance. So we don’t really know. My best friend went a few months ago. I thought that maybe I could try to visualise her and find out if she was back on Earth, but it turns out that visualisation only works for people you knew when you were alive.”
I nod, still trying to take all this in.
“How long have you been looking?” I ask after a while.
She shrugs. “Few months. I’d heard the rumours about it, obviously. But when my friend disappeared, I figured that she must have found the exit, so I started up the forum on the Internet, met a few others, and started the group. You will come on Saturday, won’t you?”
“Yeah, definitely. I’ll try to bring Anthony as well.”
You know, if he ever speaks to me again.
“Great,” Clare says as she gets up and leaves as quickly as she came.
I’m late by the time I run into the Visualisation classroom that morning. Anthony is already there, sitting at the desk we share. I briefly consider avoiding him and going to sit somewhere else, but Mr Nathan is already sitting at his desk looking none too pleased, so I sink quietly into my chair next to Anthony.
“Morning,” he says quietly.
“Er… Hi,” I say, and knock my knee against his gently. We can’t exactly talk here, but I don’t want him to think I’m still angry at him over last night. Even though I am a little bit.
Maybe because the kiss didn’t mean anything.
I don’t even know if I wanted it to mean something.
I’ve never been this messed up over a boy before.
God, I need to see Wade to remind me of who I really love and get this Anthony nonsense out of my head.
“Now that we’re all here,” Mr Nathan is saying, pointedly looking at me, “I hope you all remember what we talked about last week. Again, I repeat: no one is required to do this. This is not compulsory. If you want to leave this class, you can do so.”
Jeez. He’s mad at me for being slightly late and now he’s telling people to leave if they want to.
“Okay then,” Mr Nathan says. “As we did last week—everyone sit back in your seats, clear your mind of all thoughts, and then concentrate on one strong, vivid memory of the person you want to visualise. Don’t force it. Just relax and let it come to you.”
There is silence in the room as everyone does as he says.
I wonder who Anthony is visualising. He said he didn’t want to see his grandma because she’d be too upset. Maybe he’s changed his mind. Maybe he does want to see her. Maybe there’s someone else he’s missing from home.
No.
Anthony does not have a girlfriend.
He can’t.
Wait… Why do I even care if Anthony has a girlfriend?
I have a perfectly good boyfriend of my own who I am very happy with.
Speaking of which, I should probably be concentrating on this visualisation lark rather than thinking about Anthony.
I have to see Wade. I have to know he’s okay. I just have to remember how much he means to me.
I try to do as Mr Nathan says and clear my mind of all thoughts. If Anthony could just not breathe in the chair next to me, it might stop reminding me of him.
Right. Wade. That day we left school at lunchtime, climbed out the fence at the back of the field, and spent the whole afternoon making out while lying on a gym mat in the forest behind the school. Wade laughed at me for being scared of spiders and not wanting to get my clothes muddy, but it was okay because he kissed me as well.
Suddenly Wade is there. Not lying on a gym mat in a forest, but behind my closed eyelids.
I recognise the bedroom around him. He’s lying on his back on his bed. His leg is still in a cast, but his arm is out of plaster now and is thrown out across a pillow at his side.
And he’s moaning.
Oh my gosh, my poor baby must be in so much pain.
His eyes are closed and he’s moaning.
I need to go home to him.
But then something else flashes in front of the picture I’m seeing.
It looks like… hair.
No, it can’t be. Or maybe he has one of his mates over for company.
It must be pretty hard to have a leg in plaster and have just lost your girlfriend and be totally alone.
Yeah, that must be it.
Except I catch sight of the hair again. This time I can tell that it’s definitely hair, and that’s quite weird because I don’t remember any of Wade’s friend’s having long hair like that.
Unless it’s a new friend. Maybe some guy he made friends with at the hospital or something.
Whoever he is, he doesn’t seem very concerned about Wade’s moaning. If I was there, I would be doing something to alleviate his pain.
But then… No… It can’t be.
The head of hair is on top of Wade. It’s moving up his body. There are little noises and sucking sounds.
The realisation hits me like a freight truck.
Wade isn’t moaning in pain.
He’s moaning in pleasure.
And that long blond hair isn’t a bloke.
It isn’t some new friend he met at the hospital.
It’s a head of hair that I have straightened and plaited and curled and twisted around rollers at various sleepovers our whole lives.
It’s Sophie.
No.
It’s definitely Sophie. And she’s lying on Wade’s bed, on top of Wade, and Wade doesn’t exactly seem to mind.
In fact, Wade’s quite enjoying it.
I want to look away but I can’t. I don’t want to see this. But I do.
I can’t believe it’s happening.
I can’t believe Wade would do that to me.
I haven’t been gone that long.
I can’t believe Sophie would do that to me.
With Wade.
She’s never even particularly liked Wade. I mean, she’s never particularly disliked him either, but you don’t do that sort of thing with someone you’re indifferent to, especially if that someone is your dead best friend’s boyfriend.
Oh. My. God.
She’s kissing him all over. Avoiding the leg cast, but kissing all the way up his body, mouthing and sucking little bites here and there. Flipping her hair around. She’s fake-moaning herself, a perfect concerto to Wade’s genuine moaning.
This is disgusting.
But I can’t look away.
Not because of what they’re doing, but because of who they’re doing it to.
Me.
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They’re completely screwing me over.
Sophie is supposed to be my best friend. You don’t sleep with your best friend’s boyfriend even if your best friend is dead.
And you certainly don’t sleep with your girlfriend’s best friend, even if your girlfriend is dead.
I can’t believe this is happening.
I can’t believe they would do this to me.
My life is over.
You know, in more ways than one.
Sophie kisses her way up Wade’s body, stopping to bite at his nipples. How does she know he likes that?
And Wade certainly seems to be enjoying himself. The leg cast isn’t slowing him down at all. He’s humping up against Sophie’s thigh and having a grand time.
You wouldn’t even know that he was indirectly responsible for killing his girlfriend last week.
Sophie turns her attention to Wade’s mouth. She kisses him passionately, right in front of me.
I can’t believe I’m seeing this.
There are more slurping noises that I try to block out of my ears, but unfortunately Visualisation class comes with complete surround sound. Wade gasps in a breath before crying out Sophie’s name and I guess it’s over for him.
The visualisation ends abruptly and I find myself staring at our old Technology classroom. Everyone is sitting calm and quiet, some still have their eyes closed. Some are fiddling with their bags or their fingernails. I can’t bring myself to look at Anthony.
No one seems to have noticed that I just saw my boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend.
“All right, Riley?” Mr Nathan asks me.
“No,” I mumble. Then I get up and run out of the class. Again.
I don’t know where to go or what to do. It’s still the middle of lesson time so there is no one around. I stand still outside the old technology block and try to process what I’ve just seen. It doesn’t work. I can’t get my head around it. I wander slowly down towards the canteen.
If anything can fix this, it will be ice cream.
CHAPTER 22
Thankfully Narcissa is alone behind the counter when I walk in.
“Hi, Riley.” She smiles when she sees me. “You’re out early today.”
“Can I have the biggest, most fattening, calorific thing you’ve got?” I ask.
Trying to speak around the lump rising in my throat is a hard job, and Narcissa studies me for a moment.
“This sounds like a job for chocolate cake,” she says as she reaches behind the counter and pulls out a huge, warm, gooey chocolate fudge cake.
Just the sight of it makes my eyes fill up.
“Sit down,” she says. “I’ll bring over some tea.”
I take the cake and do as she says, sitting at the little table that Anthony and I usually choose.
Within minutes, Narcissa has joined me with two forks and two mugs of tea.
“Now then,” she says. “Spill.”
“I just…” I stop to shove a huge forkful of chocolate cake into my mouth.
It helps.
“I hate this place,” I mutter eventually. “It’s keeping me away from my boyfriend.”
“Ah yes, the wonderful Wade,” Narcissa says. “Is he still hurt?”
“No,” I say. “Well, yes, but…”
More chocolate cake. How did I ever survive without eating food like this?
“It’s worse than that,” I mumble, because I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about it. But I have to tell someone. “He’s cheating on me,” I say eventually.
“Well—”
“With my best friend,” I cut her off, feeling my eyes fill up at the thought of it.
“Oh, honey, that’s bad,” Narcissa says, pulling a tissue seemingly out of thin air and handing it to me.
“How can he do this to me?” I wail. “And Soph… We’ve been best friends since primary school. I haven’t been dead a week and she’s screwing my boyfriend behind my back. She didn’t even like him.”
“Time passes differently down there,” Narcissa reminds me. “It’s been more than a week.”
“However long it’s been, it doesn’t matter. You don’t sleep with your best friend’s boyfriend, no matter what.”
Narcissa nods and pats my hand as I simultaneously cry and shovel chocolate fudge cake into my mouth.
“Where did you find this out?” she asks as my sobs subside slightly.
“Visualisation class,” I say. “I saw them together, clear as day.”
Narcissa looks thoughtful as she eats a piece of the cake as well.
“You know, maybe it’s for the best,” she says. “I know it must be awful, but it’s better to find out sooner rather than later.”
“It’s better for them not to be screwing each other when I’ve only just gone,” I snap.
“Can’t deny that,” she says. “But you were very hung up on him, and it’s not healthy to be that hung up on a living boy. Forgive me for being so honest, but maybe this is just what you needed to move on.”
I think about that for a moment. Is it possible that the school somehow engineered for me to see that? Everyone knows I’m uppity. Everyone knows I want to get out, and everyone knows that I’m in love with Wade. The teachers are constantly telling me to move on. Is it possible that someone set this up? That they faked it? That I didn’t really see it?
I want to believe that. I really do.
But I can’t.
That was Wade. And Sophie. It wasn’t fake. I know the sound of Wade’s moans pretty well myself.
And they were real. Very real, unfortunately.
“It’s not over though,” I say. “If anything it just proves that I have to get back. Maybe it was just a one-time thing.”
I can tell that Narcissa doesn’t know what to say to me. I doubt she’s used to dealing with traumatised teenagers.
“Maybe they were just looking for comfort?” she offers.
“Exactly,” I say. “Maybe they just miss me so much that they don’t know what to do with themselves. Maybe being close to each other was the only a way for them to feel closer to me.”
I don’t know who I’m trying to convince, but it’s not working.
I know as well as anyone that they weren’t trying to feel closer to me. They were screwing around behind my back. Except that they don’t know I can see them. They don’t think I have a back to screw around behind.
I think about it while I eat more chocolate cake. Really, really good chocolate cake.
It’s Sophie, for god’s sake.
Soph.
My best friend for almost ten years.
She wouldn’t do it.
I watched her do it with my own eyes. But it must have been an error in judgement. Just a mistake.
I bet she’s sitting alone crying about it right now.
And I can forgive a mistake, can’t I?
“Honey, it’s nearly lunchtime,” Narcissa says. “I’ve got to go and do crowd control. Stay here, okay? That nice friend of yours will probably be along in a minute.”
“Anthony is not my—”
Oh God, Anthony.
He hates me.
I highly doubt he’s even speaking to me after last night.
“Tell your microwave thanks for the cake,” I say as Narcissa walks away.
I’m still stuffing chocolate cake into my mouth—seriously, it’s like it never ends. No matter how much I eat, it never seems to diminish—when Anthony takes his usual seat opposite me.
“Here,” he says, pushing another cup of tea towards me. “Narcissa said you might need this.”
“Thanks,” I mumble.
We sit in silence for a while.
He’s going to get up and walk away any second now. I know he is.
“Look, Riley,” he starts after a while. “About last night… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to kiss you, I just knew that someone was there and I didn’t know what else to do to make us not look suspicious. I know you’re
with Wade, and I really wasn’t trying anything. It was just spur-of-the-moment thinking, and I’m sorry. It didn’t mean anything, you know?”
Yes, I know. Apparently I don’t mean anything to anyone, including my best friend and boyfriend.
“It’s okay.” I want to add that it’s kind of okay if it did mean something, but I can’t say that to him. God, I can’t say that to anyone. “Let’s just forget about it.”
“And I’m sorry I was grouchy with you as well. And I didn’t mean that about washing my mouth out with bleach, I just lost my temper a bit.”
“I didn’t mean it either,” I say. “It wasn’t… y’know… that bad or anything.” That’s about as close to an admission he’s going to get from me.
He grins widely at me. “Okay, so we’re friends again, right?”
I nod. Because honestly, so far Anthony has been a better friend than my boyfriend of a year and my best friend of ten years.
“So, are you okay?” he asks. “You ran out of class pretty quick again.”
“Fine,” I mutter.
“You know… you kinda look upset. Your eyes are all blotchy. And please tell me you did not eat that whole cake by yourself.”
I shrug. “Who cares?”
“I care,” he says vehemently. “What’s wrong?”
I want to tell him. I really do. I want to say that I just saw Wade and Sophie going at it in Wade’s bedroom. But I can’t say it. Not to Anthony. He hates Wade. He hates Sophie. Until last week he hated me too. He probably still does in a way.
He’d probably run around the canteen whooping for joy.
Except he wouldn’t because Anthony isn’t like that.
“What did you see?” I avoid the subject. “I thought you didn’t want to see your grandma.”
He sighs. “I figured a bit more time has passed down there now.”
“Did you see her?”
“Yeah. She was at a coffee morning with her wrinkly mates. She looked okay. A little sad, but she was okay. She’s a tough old girl, really.”
I nod.
“Now you’ve tried to avoid my question, what did you see that’s upset you so much?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I say.
But Anthony is still staring at me. “How is Wade? Still in pain?”
“Something like that.”
“What’s got you so worked up?” he asks. “Don’t tell me you saw him moving on with his life and having fun or something without you?”
Afterlife Academy Page 14