Afterlife Academy

by Admans, Jaimie

  I know that he doesn’t just mean to the meeting, but I ignore him.

  Eventually we come to the hole in the fence and climb through it.

  We follow a couple of little paths until we come across Clare and a couple of other girls.

  “Hi,” she greets us warmly. “You guys, this is Riley and Anthony, the ones I was telling you about,” she says to the others. “Not everyone is here yet.”

  We sit down on a patch of moss and wait.

  Eventually four more girls and two more boys show up.

  I’m surprised there are so many people.

  Surely that can’t bode well if there are so many people looking for this exit and no one has found it?

  It’s freezing out here. Anthony is sitting so close to me that our thighs are touching and I can feel his warmth filtering through my jeans. I have to fight the urge to lean closer to him.

  I can’t like Anthony. I’m at this meeting because I’m trying to get back to Wade. I’m trying to stop him and Sophie getting together. I’m here because I have to go back to my life, not sit here trying to get closer to Anthony. My life was perfectly fine before he came into it, and it can be again. Whatever I have felt towards him recently is clearly due to the absolutely extenuating circumstances.

  “So,” Clare says eventually.

  Good. Talking. Anything to stop me obsessing over Anthony’s thigh touching mine or the fact that he appears to be wearing aftershave that I’ve never noticed before and it smells really nice. Very subtle. Unlike Wade. Wade marinates himself in aftershave, so much so that if you go to kiss his neck, you get a nasty taste in your mouth.

  But Anthony’s is a nice, earthy scent and it doesn’t overpower everything else within a six-mile radius. I like it. I try to lean closer without him noticing.

  “Thanks for coming, everyone. I’ve brought along some secret weapons today.” Clare points to us. “Everyone, meet Riley and Anthony. They used to go to this school in their old lifetimes, so they know everything there is to know. They could certainly be very helpful in locating what we need to locate.”

  “With all due respect,” Anthony says, “I don’t think we know anything more about the school than you do.”

  “Nonsense,” says one of the other boys. “We’ve been hoping someone like you would come along.”

  “We’re as new to this as anyone else,” Anthony says. “We have no idea where your secret exit is, or—”

  “Sssshhhhhh,” everyone says immediately.

  “We don’t say it out loud,” Clare says. “Just in case anyone is listening in. The teachers are sneaky around here. They could be hiding and we wouldn’t know.”

  That sufficiently creeps me the hell out. I glance around furtively like I’m fully expecting someone to jump out from behind a bush.

  “But you know your way around,” the boy says. “You’ve been coming here for five years.”

  “Yes, but not here here,” Anthony says. “Here there. It’s different.”

  “Look,” I say. “I cut class more often than I went. The only thing I know about is how to hide behind the exam wing without being seen and then sneak out the back.”

  “So, do you pair know of anywhere suspicious? Any secret doors or hidden rooms?”

  “Nope,” Anthony says. “And I really think we should go.”

  I elbow him in the ribs.

  “Have you looked in the staff areas?” I ask. “If they were going to hide something, surely it would be a place where kids aren’t allowed to go.”

  “Someone tried to sneak up there once, but Eliza Carbonell caught them as the staff area is right above her office. Everyone’s been too scared to try since then.”

  “What happened to the person who was caught?” I ask.

  “Detention,” Clare says. “Every day for the past three months.”

  “Yikes, that’s a tough punishment.”

  “They don’t like people poking around here,” Clare says. “Whatever they’re hiding, we’re not supposed to find it. People who do want to find it are considered criminals by the teachers.”

  “Did you ever think of forming an escape plan?” I ask. “Y’know, getting a big group together and just walking out the gates?”

  “There’s nothing out there, Riley.”

  “How’d you know that?”

  “Because someone left once. The road just continues. It’s never-ending. The person walked for hours until a prefect turned up and magically transported them back to Mrs Carbonell’s office.”

  “What happened to that person?”

  “No one knows. Expelled, I guess.”

  My stomach does a little flip-flop.

  “You really think they’re hiding something?” Anthony asks. “This all seems a bit ridiculous to me. Teachers hiding a secret exit that can transport you back in time? It’s crazy.”

  “This whole thing is crazy. We’re all dead, being taught by a bunch of people who have been dead for a hell of a lot longer than we have,” one of the girls sitting next to Clare says.

  “Yeah,” someone else pipes up. “And they’re creepy. They know everything about us. It’s like they can read minds or something.”

  “We didn’t come here to discuss the teachers,” another girl says. “Some of us need to get home.”

  “Don’t we bloody all?” I snap.

  Suddenly there’s a noise in a tree behind us and everyone jumps.

  “Okay,” Clare says immediately. “Time to go. Don’t forget to check your cards for the time of next week’s meeting. It’ll probably be Sunday, considering the ball is on Saturday.”

  Ugh. I had so far managed to forget about the notice that went up in the canteen this week. There’s a dance next Saturday. A dress-up ball. I quite fancy going just to see what dead people consider a party.

  Everyone murmurs agreement and begins to filter away.

  Clare walks back towards the school with Anthony and me.

  “If you guys think of anything, let me know, okay? You know this place better than any of us. If you think of any rooms that aren’t used here, or any good hiding places, please tell us. Riley, you know some hiding places outside. It’s not absolutely positive that the thing we’re looking for is located on the school grounds. If you think of anywhere, tell me straight away, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Great, see ya,” she says, rushing off ahead.

  “Huh,” Anthony says. “Weird.”

  “Like everything else around here.”

  “So, this ball on Saturday,” he says quietly. “I was wondering if you would, er… Well, I mean, if you’re not going with… I mean, if you haven’t already made plans… Would you… er… Would you go with me? I don’t mean as a date because I know you’ve already got Wade and everything, but maybe just as a friend?”

  He’s adorable when he rambles. I can’t help but grin at how cute he looks when he’s blushing like that and how nervous he sounds.

  “Of course I will.” I smile at him.

  I don’t admit that I’m slightly disappointed that’s it’s not going to be a date. Anthony isn’t Wade, and I can’t go on a date with anyone but Wade. Not that it seems to matter to Wade, considering the things he’s been doing with Sophie, but that’s not the point. If I can go back to before it happened then it won’t even be an issue.

  “That’s brilliant,” Anthony says, and I hear his almost inaudible sigh of relief.

  I guess he was nervous about asking me. I can’t believe he thought I’d say no.

  “I like you, you know. As a friend,” I add quickly, in case he gets the wrong idea.

  Not that I would object if he tried to kiss me again.

  No, Riley. Think of how bad you’ll feel when you and Wade are back together at home and you’ll always know in the back of your mind that you kissed another boy. Not that Wade seems to care that he’s having sex with Sophie behind my back.

  “Me too,” Anthony interrupts my thoughts. “I’m glad we’ve had a chanc
e to get to know each other. If someone had said to me two weeks ago that I’d be asking Riley Richardson to a dance, I would have laughed in their face. Come to think of it, if someone had told me I’d be going to a dance in a ghost school, I’d have laughed in their face too. But I guess the teachers are right when they say time changes everything.”

  “Yeah,” I admit.

  If someone had told me I’d be considering that Wade maybe isn’t that great after all and that the boy we’ve spent years making fun of is actually really sweet and funny, I’d have died.

  But Anthony does not need to know that.

  I shouldn’t even be thinking this kind of thing. I have to get out of here and go back to Wade, stop him humping Sophie, and pretend this never happened. My life was perfect before and I did not want this. Okay, maybe this whole Afterlife Academy thing isn’t quite as bad as I first thought, and maybe Anthony is really nice. And if we don’t find that secret exit, then I’ll have to keep trying to get expelled and then I’ll have to go back without Anthony. So I probably shouldn’t get too attached to him.

  Yeah. It might already be too late for that.

  “Okay,” Anthony says, grinning like I’ve made his day. “I’ll catch you later sometime. Maybe in the canteen for dinner?”

  “Yeah, sure.” I feel warm inside as I grin right back at him. “See you then.”

  CHAPTER 25

  I’ve decided to pull another prank. It’s harmless, it probably won’t get me into much trouble, and it’s hopefully a lot more fun for everyone than a fire drill at two in the morning. I read about it on the Internet and it’s just too good not to try.

  I just have to make sure Narcissa is out of the way first.

  The thing is, Narcissa is never out of the way. She never leaves. Why would she need to? She has a microwave that can deliver (hopefully) anything she wants at a moment’s notice. Plus I’m not exactly sure what is out there in Death World. Maybe no one ever leaves this school. It didn’t exactly look very lively when we came in.

  So I wait until night time and hope Narcissa sleeps really, really well.

  I completely ignore the rule about being outside at night. I figure it doesn’t matter because there’s only about ten feet between the dormitory and the back door of the canteen. And if I get caught outside at night again, maybe it’ll just fast-track my expulsion.

  I climb out the bedroom window again. This time I stroke Charlie on my way past and he doesn’t growl so much.

  Maybe he’s learning to like me too.

  Too bad I’m getting out of here soon.

  I climb down the same way I did when I was meeting Anthony and eventually end up on the ground. I’m hidden around the back of the building and I hope that there won’t be any teachers prowling around here.

  Or anything else, hopefully.

  I push open the canteen window and climb in.

  The place is deadly silent at this time of night, and as I creep towards the counter and slip down the secret stairs behind it, I can hear soft snoring.

  Surprising for someone with fire breath.

  I creep over to the microwave. It seems to be asleep too.

  Two weeks ago I would have been shocked at the thought of a sleeping microwave, but now nothing surprises me, especially considering my roommate has a pumpkin that would bite you as soon as look at you.

  I tap the microwave lightly on its side and one of the green lights on the front illuminates. I pull the door open and whisper, “Three live pigs,” to it.

  I close the door again but a red light flashes on the front and it doesn’t start.

  I stare at it for a moment.

  Maybe it’s trying to tell me it can’t do it.

  But if it can materialise anything, then surely a couple of pigs won’t be a problem. I’m sure it can do bacon, after all.

  Maybe three pigs are too much for it.

  I open the door and whisper, “one live pig,” instead, and this time when I close the door, the microwave starts.

  A few seconds later there is a medium-sized pink pig inside the microwave as it pings.

  It’s a bit of a squash in there. The pig is sitting down with its legs squeezed in and its head bent over where it touches the top of the microwave.

  It snorts softly as I open the door and reach in to get it out.

  It’s the cutest little thing ever. Whoever thought I would be saying that about a pig?

  The pig struggles in my arms and tries to jump down onto the floor, but I tuck him under my left arm. I wish I’d thought to bring something to put them in.

  With one pig under my arm, I repeat the same process with the microwave as I ask it for another pig.

  A few seconds later, the door pings again to reveal another cute little pink pig inside.

  I tuck the second pig under my right arm and honestly, they’re a bit of an armful. Two pigs and I still need another one yet.

  They’re making quiet little squealing noises and aggravating each other. I really wish I’d have thought to ask the microwave for a basket or something to put them in. Somehow I have to get back outside with these.

  I lean down—no easy task with a pig under each arm—and ask the microwave for the third and final pig.

  The moment I shut the door, the light in the room is switched on and I jump so much that one of the pigs shrieks and squirms its way out from under my arm and lands on the floor.

  Narcissa is standing in the doorway staring at me.

  “Oh my god,” I yelp as I somehow catch the second pig and hoist him back into my arms at exactly the same moment the microwave door jumps open and the third pig inside starts squealing.

  “Sausages have to be dead before you can eat them,” Narcissa says.

  “They’re not for eating,” I say.

  “Riley…” she starts.

  “I can explain,” I say. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve broken into your house, but I need these pigs and I knew you’d never agree if I asked you. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

  To say that she’s pissed off would be an understatement.

  “At least it’s you and not some random thief who’s found out about my microwave.”

  “I’m not stealing,” I protest. “It’s not like I’m hurting anyone.”

  “You could have just asked me. I thought we were friends.”

  “We are! I just didn’t think you’d understand. I’m sorry.”

  My arms are aching from carrying the two squirming pigs, and the one still inside the microwave has just amplified its squealing by a few decibels.

  Eventually Narcissa stops glaring at me to walk over and take it out of the microwave.

  “Aren’t you a cute little thing,” she says to it. “Such a pretty little piggy wiggy. Would you like a drink of water, darling? Of course you would. I’ll get you all something to eat, lovely little piggies.”

  “So… you’re a pig person,” I say.

  “Oh, they’re just the sweetest little things.” She smiles at the pig. She is definitely not smiling at me. “I heard you coming from the moment you jumped out of the dorm room window. I pretended to be asleep to catch you in the act. When I heard you ask for three pigs I had to stand back and see where it was going. What are you doing, Riley? Performing a re-enactment of the three little pigs and the big bad wolf?”

  I can’t help but giggle at that despite myself.

  “Here.” She sets down a newspaper and a water bowl in her kitchen. “Put your pigs down. I’ll make them something to eat. You can make us a cup of tea and explain what the hell you think you’re doing.”

  “Are you mad at me?” I ask as I put the pigs down on the newspaper and wash my hands. I don’t know why I asked, it’s obvious that she is.

  She shrugs but she’s banging her cupboard doors a little too loudly as she looks for something to feed the pigs.

  “I just wish you’d have asked me, Riley, rather than sneaking around in the middle of the night. Mainly I’m relieved it’s you and not some
other little rat who’s found my secret weapon.”

  “I didn’t tell anybody,” I say as if it helps my case.

  “That’s not the point, is it?”

  I sigh as I set about making two cups of tea. Normally I’d say something snarky like ask the microwave to do it, but I don’t think I’m in any position to be asking the microwave for anything right now.

  “Are you going to tell Eliza Carbonell about this?” I ask.

  I know I’ll probably get expelled for it and save all the trouble, but I still don’t like the idea of getting caught doing something bad.

  Narcissa sighs. “As it’s you, Riley, no. I’m not going to tell anyone, but I’d appreciate you asking me next time you want something. I don’t even mind you coming down to get it yourself. I just don’t like you sneaking around my apartment in the middle of the night doing God knows what with these poor pigs. Ri, you remind me of myself. I liked you from the first time I served you. Times like these I find myself wondering why I do, but I know that you’re going through a hard time at the moment with being recently deceased and what’s happening with your boyfriend and everything else, but you could have asked me if you needed something. I’d be in big trouble with Eliza Carbonell myself for letting a student use the microwave for their own purposes.”

  “I didn’t know that,” I say honestly.

  “No harm done. But that said, I do think the very least you owe me is an explanation. An honest one at that. Not some bullshit you’ve just thought up. If this is some ploy to make yourself popular again or—”

  “It’s not,” I interrupt.

  “Well, whatever it is that you’re up to that involves three live pigs, I would dearly love to know.”

  I pour milk into both our cups and set them on the table as Narcissa tips something into a bowl and sets it down in front of the pigs.

  They make appreciative snorting noises as they attack it like they haven’t eaten in a year.

  “Now then,” Narcissa says. She takes the seat opposite me. “What are you doing?”

  I sigh.

  “I’m trying to get expelled,” I admit finally.

  “Expelled?” she asks like it’s the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard.