What a Girl Wants

by Jennifer Snow

  She was serious. Oh, was she serious....

  “Bailey, I am the last thing you need right now,” he said, backing away from her. He was a mess. He couldn’t go a day without thoughts of Emily haunting him at every turn. Heck, he’d been about to answer her call the night before. If the fire hadn’t happened... It wouldn’t be fair to start something with Bailey, not knowing how he really felt and not knowing if he was truly over Emily.

  “I didn’t say need, I said want. There is a big difference,” she insisted. She moved closer and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her bare tiptoes to reach his lips and kiss him again.

  “Stop.” He unwrapped her arms from around his neck and held them to her sides. Her expression of hurt was too much. “Baby girl, don’t think for a second that I don’t want to take a chance on this. I just don’t know if I can see this through, and that wouldn’t be fair to you.”

  “Are you still in love with Emily?”

  He let out a deep breath. “I’m not sure that I’m not still in love with her,” he answered. But based on the emotions raging through him and his desire to take Bailey into his arms and kiss all her hurt away, he owed it to the both of them to figure it out, and fast.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  WITH A HEAVY heart and tired eyes hidden behind her sunglasses, Bailey pulled into the lot of the garage early the next morning. She’d been unable to sleep as worry over the shop competed with feelings of embarrassment over her play for Ethan. How could she have been so stupid to just throw herself at him the way she had? For years she’d been able to keep her feelings for him under wraps, but that was when Emily had been in the picture. Turns out, even thousands of miles away, she still was. Cutting the engine on the bike, she noticed Luke’s new Ford parked out front and she could see him inside, walking amid the debris.

  He turned and waved as she removed her helmet. Rushing over, he wrapped her in a big hug. “I was so relieved to hear you weren’t working late the other night,” he said, releasing her and raking a hand through his spiky, gelled hair.

  A night owl by nature, she often did work late. If there had been other cars in the shop that evening, she just might have been there. She shuddered at the thought.

  “Me, too. What are you doing here? I thought you were in Boston this week.” Bailey noticed Bob and Darrell, Luke’s crew, walking through the debris inside the shop. Luke had a crew here already? Amazing, wonderful Luke.

  “Victoria texted me yesterday and I rushed back as soon as I could.” He shuffled his feet on the ground, avoiding her eyes. “I need to apologize.”

  “For what, Luke? Rushing over here with your contractors doesn’t exactly put you on the list of people I’m angry with right now,” she said.

  “I meant for constantly bringing that old truck here. I read in the fire report that it was that old clunker that caused the fire. That could have been my old clunker.”

  “Don’t be crazy, Luke. That’s what we fix around here. New vehicles rarely come through those bay doors. Besides, the shop has been open for forty-six years, and this was the first fire and no one got hurt. I’d say we’ve been lucky.” She firmly believed that and took comfort in the knowledge that no one had been injured, but still, seeing the shop she loved in ruins was tough. “Thank you for getting here so quickly. How long do you think the renovations will take?” She bit her lip, still unsure how she was going to pay for them. She’d faxed the documents Ethan had given her to the insurance adjuster that morning, and she prayed he would have good news for her. After going over her finances the night before, she’d discovered her only other option would be to take a second mortgage out on her home and she hated to do that. But remembering her promise to her uncle the day before, she knew she would if she had to.

  “Because the exterior frame survived the damage, it’s just the interior that needs to be rebuilt, so...I’d say a couple of weeks at most and you should be up and running at least partially.”

  “Really? That fast?” He was amazing.

  “My crews are the best in New Jersey,” Luke said, turning as Bob and Darrell came through the broken front window, followed by Ethan.

  Her eyes met his and the memory of his lips on hers returned, making her uneasy. “What are you doing here?”

  “Now that renovations are being done, I’m instating the new fire codes for this building.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “A new sprinkler and ventilation system.”

  “Ethan, you know I can’t afford that, especially if the claim gets denied.” The cost of the renovations would sit on the books for a while.

  Luke interrupted. “My guys have done their assessment. We’ll draft up the final work orders, but for now here’s the report and the breakdown of what’s being done.” He handed Bailey the slip.

  She held her breath as she scanned it, looking for the total cost. The price balance sat at zero. “Um...Luke, it doesn’t give a cost.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said with a wink. “I know the owner. Of course, this is just the framework to rebuild—the upgrade installs will be a separate contractor.”

  “Oh, no, Luke...” That was too generous of him.

  Luke glanced at Ethan. “Why is it that all these beautiful ladies in Brookhollow try to refuse free labor and all my big-city clients haggle over the price of screws?” He turned to Bailey. “Don’t worry about it. If the insurance claim goes through, you can pay me for the work, but in the meantime, I’ve worked out a deal with Nick.”

  “With Nick?” Nick was making trades on services?

  “Yes. He’s going to detail my work trucks with the new Dawson Architecture logo he’s designing for me.”

  “Oh, that’s great,” Bailey said with forced enthusiasm as Luke waved and jumped into his truck. Nick could do that? Wouldn’t it have been great if he’d told her?

  As she watched Luke pull away from the shop, Bailey squirmed uncomfortably in the silence that fell between her and Ethan. Clearing her throat, she said, “I have a cleanup crew arriving soon, so...”

  Ethan took a step closer and gently grabbed her arm. “About last night...”

  The apologetic tone in his voice made her cringe. She pulled her arm away, and with a dismissive wave, she forced a light laugh. “You were right—it must have just been the stress of all of this.” She took a step closer, and her gaze locked on his. “Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”

  * * *

  WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN.

  Bailey’s words echoed in his mind all afternoon, and he struggled to figure out why he didn’t feel more relieved. Of course it couldn’t happen again. They were friends. Great friends, but just friends. And he certainly wasn’t in any position at the moment to get involved with someone. Sure, Emily had been gone for six months and his family and friends thought he needed to forget about her and move on, but so far he’d been unsuccessful.

  For the sake of his future happiness and downright sanity, he wished that he didn’t still see her face when he closed his eyes, and didn’t have to fight every last instinct to answer his phone whenever she called. And until he was sure he was over his ex, how could he take a chance with someone else? Especially someone who meant as much to him as Bailey did. He refused to break her heart...any more than he probably already had. Yet her promise made his stomach knot, because admittedly a small part of him wanted that kiss to happen again, and the realization both shocked and scared him.

  * * *

  “CARE TO PLACE a bet on who pulled the alarm this time?” Jim asked as he turned the fire engine into the lot of the senior’s complex, where they’d just recently had an emergency fire drill. More often than not, the alarm was set off by one of the elderly residents to create a bit of excitement or simply by accident. Today didn’t look to be any different, but the fifty-three residents
and ten nursing staff all stood in the designated section of the parking lot, waiting for permission to go back inside. They waved and cheered as the engine pulled up.

  Ethan waved back. “I think I’ve lost enough money to you this week,” he said to his brother.

  “Okay, you take the west wing and I’ll secure the east one.”

  Within ten minutes, they had secured the two-story, redbrick building and given the residents the go-ahead to return inside.

  “Should we go see Grandma before we head back?” Ethan asked, checking his watch. Jim’s shift had officially ended.

  “Probably should,” Jim said with a nod, leading the way to their grandmother Bishop’s room in the west wing on the main floor of the complex.

  Willa Bishop was on the phone as they entered. “Yes...you were right, they’re both here. Thanks, son,” she said, waving them inside. “Okay, you, too. Talk soon.” She replaced the phone and smiled at the boys.

  Ethan eyed her with suspicion. “Grandma, did you pull the fire alarm on purpose to get us here?”

  Her thin shoulders shrugged in her oversize cable-knit sweater. “So what if I did,” she said, sitting straighter in her armchair near the window. A long row of pill bottles lined the sill. That was new. The bottles hadn’t been there last week. Her doctor had given her a clean bill of health at her last checkup.

  “You know that’s a criminal offense, Grandma,” Jim said.

  “Ha! Like your father would try to take his own mother to jail. Besides, it’s the only way I can get my grandsons to visit. What judge would find an old lady guilty of that?” Her eyes widened in mock innocence.

  “Grandma, Jill and I were here just last week.”

  “And I took you to bingo two weeks ago,” Ethan said.

  “I don’t remember any of that.” A deep frown wrinkled her forehead as she lowered her gaze. “It’s the Alzheimer’s.”

  “You don’t have Alzheimer’s.” Jim sat on the bed and yawned.

  “Sure I do. Why else would I be in here?”

  “You moved in here to be with grandpa when he got sick.”

  She scoffed. “That doesn’t sound like something I’d do. That man drove me crazy.”

  Ethan and Jim exchanged amused looks. Their grandparents had remained deeply in love until their grandfather’s death from a stroke the year before. Their constant bickering had been part of the couple’s charm. They pushed each other’s buttons all the time, finding amusement in driving each other crazy. Ethan and his brother knew their grandmother was lost without him in the senior’s complex and visited as often as they could.

  “Anyway, the reason I wanted you both here is this. I want a great-granddaughter before the diabetes takes me out.”

  “Grandma, you don’t have diabetes,” Ethan said. “And these are serious diseases you keep claiming to have. It’s not funny.”

  “Who’s kidding? I used Gloria Kingston’s diabetic test strips yesterday and my blood sugar was really high,” she argued.

  “Was that after the birthday celebration for Mr. Miller’s ninetieth?” Jim asked, nodding toward the large half-eaten piece of black forest cake still on her nightstand.

  “Yes...so?”

  “You don’t have diabetes.”

  “Well, I do have high blood pressure. Be a dear and grab me my pills, please.” She pointed to the row of bottles.

  “Okay, Grandma.” Jim winked at Ethan as he opened the bottles and shook out several pills. Before handing them to her, he showed them to Ethan. Orange-flavored Tic Tacs.

  They waited while she took them, then rested her head dramatically against the chair. “So about that great-granddaughter...”

  “Don’t look at me,” Ethan said, grateful he could turn this one over to Jim.

  “Believe me, I’m trying not to—you’re a mess,” Willa said. “You’re looking thin and disheveled, and what’s with the scruffy face?” She clucked her tongue disapprovingly at Ethan’s two-day-old stubble.

  “Ah, go easy on him, Grams. He’s miserable,” Jim said.

  “Still?”

  “I know, Grams. We keep telling him it’s time to move on.” Jim shrugged.

  How did this conversation get redirected at him? Besides, for once his frazzled appearance had nothing to do with Emily. No, this new form of stress had Bailey and her perfect, soft lips all over it. Not that he could admit that to anyone.

  “Sit down,” his grandmother ordered.

  Oh, great, here we go. Ethan sat on the edge of her bed next to Jim and punched his brother in the arm. “Thanks a lot, man.”

  “Hey, as long as we’ve moved away from the topic of a great-granddaughter, I’m good,” Jim said.

  “We’re coming back to that,” Willa said. “Anyway, Jim’s right. It’s been almost a year....”

  “Six months,” Ethan corrected.

  “Don’t interrupt,” she said. “Six months, a year, doesn’t matter. What matters is that she’s gone, and honestly she was gone a long time ago. You just tried to hold on to something that wasn’t there.”

  “Things weren’t great.” They had been drifting apart for a long time, but that just meant they had to work harder, didn’t it? After more than a decade together, they’d just needed to find the spark again. Giving up on the relationship had never seemed like an option to him. Not when there had been so many good times, too...in the beginning. He and Emily had been crazy in love in high school—that had been real—and then they’d started to build a future together. Though he couldn’t argue that their different life goals seemed to wedge them further and further apart. Especially in the past few years when their talks about marriage and children had only resulted in heated arguments. Children were not in Emily’s future...and he’d had a hard time envisioning one without them. He’d hoped in time she’d have a change of heart.

  “No, they weren’t, and you deserve great. Why settle for anything less?” Willa was tough, but she had a point he couldn’t argue. “Look at Jim and Jill—they are perfect together.”

  Jim sat up straighter. “Oh, really? What makes you so sure?”

  “Because I’ve seen how crazy she makes you, and take it from someone who knows—it’s not really love unless it makes you crazy.”

  * * *

  THURSDAY EVENING, Bailey stretched on a padded workout mat on the hardwood gym floor of Extreme Athletics as several women strolled in for the self-defense class. Since deciding to offer the class earlier that summer, she’d been pleasantly surprised by the initial turnout, and the numbers increased each week. She was happy to see that the importance of knowing how to defend yourself against an attacker wasn’t lost on the women in Brookhollow, despite living in a quiet, safe community. A false sense of security could be dangerous, and even she had fallen into that trap, as Ethan never failed to point out.

  “Come on in, ladies. Grab a yoga mat from the wall and you can place your personal belongings in the lockers near the back,” she directed. “Cell phones off, please. We will be getting started in just a few minutes.” She glanced toward the front door for the millionth time, wondering if Ethan would show up and almost wishing he wouldn’t.

  But the next time the front door opened, he entered. “Hi,” he said when he reached her.

  “Hi.” She met his gaze squarely, but her knees weakened slightly.

  Several women in the front row stopped chatting to look at them with interest. Or more likely to size Ethan up. Well, they could have him...over her dead body, of course. She cleared her throat and turned her attention to her class. “Hi, everyone, welcome. First, I’d like to start off by saying that the best self-defense is always prevention. Attackers will usually strike against vulnerable or unsuspecting victims, so be smart—walk in well-lit areas at night, keep your keys, or pepper spray if you have it, in your hand. If you a
re approached, give the attacker what they want if it’s a material thing they’re after. Your wallet, purse, watch—yes, ladies, even your wedding rings can be replaced, but you can’t. Hand them over. I can’t stress that enough.”

  A series of nods confirmed the women understood, so turning to Ethan, Bailey moved on. She spread her legs shoulder width apart, one in front of the other. “Okay, if the attacker is getting physical or looks like he is about to, there are many ways to defend yourself to get the maximum benefit for your size and ability.” Hesitantly, she waved Ethan closer. Next week, she would have to find a different attacker. “First of all, always shout, ‘Back off!’ It shows the attacker that you will not be a silent victim.”

  She took a step closer to Ethan, desperate to avoid the unusual expression in his dark eyes. Why was he looking at her as though he’d never seen her before? She forced herself to focus, but her train of thought was lost. “Um...where was I?” she asked herself as she stared at the floor.

  “The weak spots,” Ethan supplied.

  Right. He was hers. End of story. And he didn’t want her. “Yes, thank you. Always go for the weak points on the body first—the eyes...” Like those beautiful deep soulful ones staring at her.

  She shook her head. Get hold of yourself. These people are paying customers. “The nose, ears, neck, groin and knee.” Forcing her attention to remain on the class, Bailey demonstrated several moves to illustrate her point that attacking the most vulnerable points on the body could buy necessary time to escape. “Everyone got those?” she asked.

  “Yes,” the room chorused.

  Great. Now on to the grab attacks. Where Ethan would have to touch her.

  She paused, studying the man in front of her. Hesitated. No. Brookhollow was a safe place. No one was going to get grabbed from behind....

  “Bailey, should I get in rear-attack position?” Ethan asked, looking as nervous as she felt.