Three Score and Ten, What Then?

by Peggy Mary E. Smith

  Murray and Mary Beth remained close their whole lives. They lived about a half hour drive apart. They liked to visit us in the summer months when the roads north from Toronto were more predictable. As time passed, the roads were greatly improved upon and travelling was better. Logan and I travelled south to visit with them, too, as much of his family was still there.

  As I said earlier, we didn’t see much of John or his family until the later years. After he retired from the Air Force, he and his wife came more often. They liked our summers and would stay for a month or so. His wife was a painter and loved the landscapes in this area.

  At any rate, that’s the paths our children chose in life and travelled down. As hard as it was to see them head off and leave the nest, it brought us great comfort to see how well they did in their own lives. We were proud of every one of them. It’s so true that children enrich one’s life. They all bring you such joy. We were fortunate to have good children. Not one of them brought us any serious grief, outside the normal hellry and mischief children get into, but that’s all part of learning. After they had all left home, I would often think about the wonderful times we’d had while they were growing up. I have such wonderful memories of all the children, so many precious memories, for sure.”

  my coming of age

  “You know, Beth, I can still recall a lot of things that my folks said while I was a youngster growing up. Sometimes I just couldn’t get the gist of what they were saying, but as the years passed, and I experienced more of life, those words started to come to mind more often. That was when I began to get the meaning of what Ma and Pa had been trying to tell me.

  I had once heard Ma say that after you hit middle age you come into your own. You get to knowing who you really are, and you come around to figuring out what the meaning of life actually is. She called it “Your coming of age”.When I hit middle age myself, those words started to make more sense to me. It’s funny how we evolve with the passing of time. All of life’s trials and tribulations seem to mold our character. Some of them even define us. How we look at life in our twenties sure does differ when we hit forty and fifty. I guess with experience comes wisdom. Maybe that’s what life is all about, a gathering of wisdom through experience.

  Some time in my early forties, I realized that my perspective of life had changed. I approached life with a different attitude. I was more sure of myself and felt confidant. I wasn’t so shy about voicing my opinion, and I was more open-minded towards other people’s ideas. That doesn’t mean to say I would change my mind about things, but I was willing to listen. I guess I had just come to the point in my life where I finally knew who I was and felt comfortable about that, and I respected others for their ideals and opinions.

  When I first started helping Logan around the store, I was very reserved about saying very much. I really had no understanding or training in the retail business. I had spent my whole life on the other side of the counter. I was quite shy with the customers, even though most of them had always been neighbours and friends. It just wasn’t my comfort level to be serving them from behind the cash register and taking their hard-earned dollars. I knew only too well how hard it was for them to part with their money.

  Logan was such a natural salesman. He always knew how to approach people and strike up conversation. He was so confident. He had a good sense of humour, and everyone seemed to just take to him. They were very comfortable dealing with Logan.

  With Logan’s example and guidance and years of experience under my belt, I eventually got over myself and realized I really enjoyed working in the store. The socialization brought me out of my shell. I chalk that up to maturing.

  I got so I knew about our total inventory. I could place a finger on any item we sold and knew all that was to be known about it. When Logan wasn’t around or if he was tied up with another customer, I was able to help anyone with anything in the store. Sometimes some of the older fellows didn’t like to put their faith in a woman’s judgment, but Logan was the first to tell them that I knew my stuff. It wasn’t very often that I got stumped and had to get Logan to help out.

  In the late thirties, the electricity company finally brought their lines out as far as our little village. In the end, it had been the railway that had really pushed for it. They wanted hydro at the stationhouse. That was the beginning of a new era to all of us in this northern rural area. With hydro came all the modern conveniences that the big city folk had been enjoying for a long time. We wired our store and house for lighting. We got a refrigerator, and in a few short years, we got running water and indoor plumbing. What a huge change all that brought to us.

  I had been quite insistent on having hydro put in our home when the store was connected. With the children getting older and all in school, I was spending much of my time helping Logan in the store. I wanted an electric washing machine. I was looking forward to giving up that old scrub board on wash day. I wasn’t a spring chicken by that time. I was on the north side of forty, and with all the household chores and store responsibilities needing tending to, I knew an electric wringer washer would free up some time and make things run smoother. There was just no deterring me and my mind was set.

  So with all my persistence, Logan had hydro and running water installed in our home. He purchased me one of the first wringer washers in the area. I was the envy of many housewives, but Logan was a smart business man. He knew in doing so, I would be an advocate to so many other ladies, and he would get sales for many more. He was right.

  A year or so after that, he had an indoor washroom installed. Now that was something. No more traipsing outdoors in the winter to use the outhouse. I felt like a millionaire’s wife. Just to be able to take a bath with hot running water from a tap was significant. It made me feel rich, indeed!

  World War II started in September of 1939. Germany had invaded Poland. Canada joined the war effort in late September. With a war being fought overseas, the government once again asked for recruits. Many answered to the call of duty, and off they went. So many of the young men had long since been hard pressed to get steady work during the depression, so joining the army was a good opportunity. Many young women left the area, too. With all the young men folk overseas, the southern factories were recruiting women for the vacancies in their workforce.

  It seems the war started the economy moving again. The depression was over. There was a high demand for farm produce. Lots was needed to be shipped overseas. The prairie drought had ended, and new equipment and farming methods had been derived to deal with the thin soil layers. No-till, it was called. After nearly a decade of rock-bottom prices, things started on an upswing. So with all the bad, some good came about, too.

  In our neck of the woods, hydroelectricity was being discussed again. Most folks embraced the idea of having electricity and couldn’t wait to have their barns and houses wired up. By the mid-forties, pretty much everyone hereabouts had hydro on their farm. It was an evolution to our farmers. The ones that jumped at the opportunity soon became dairy farmers. They started shipping whole milk instead of just cream. That gave them a sizable monthly income. They built up their milk herds and installed milking machines. There wasn’t any more squeezing teats by hand.

  Everything seemed to snowball. With more cows to milk, more hay had to be harvested, and more machinery was bought. Tractors were being purchased. All the horse-drawn equipment was converted to be pulled by tractor. By the end of World War II, our community was booming again. Ashton’s General Store really prospered. Logan became the local dealer for electric appliances. He sold all the plumbing and electrical pieces required to hook up a house or barn for hydro and water. I can’t remember how many tubs, sinks, and toilets he sold, but it was sure a great number.

  Lots of things changed with the Second World War. By the time it had ended in 1945, industrialization had taken hold around the world. It had helped to bring an end to the depression. Anyone who was ambitious prospered.

  But, as much as th
e war had done to get the economy moving, and had brought about many wonderful changes worldwide, the war had also brought great loss and sorrow. War had once again touched many of us. My son Chase was killed in action. As proud as I was to see him serve this wonderful country, it broke my heart to know I’d never see my boy again. It was a great loss for me, one that I never really could recover from. Oh, I accepted it and learned to move forward, just like all the other times before, but a Mother’s heart never really heals from the loss of a child.

  I told myself I had to let it go and move forward. I didn’t allow myself to wallow in self-pity. I couldn’t let the pain of grief swallow me up like it had with Jed and Royce’s deaths. Logan and the children needed me. All of me. I had to pull myself together for those I loved that were still alive. I knew in my heart that is what Chase would have wanted. I reminded myself he had died a hero. I found strength from somewhere. Experience told me I had to accept what I couldn’t change. It was just the way it was, and fate was merciless!

  I had been raised as a Christian, and most every Sunday, we’d all gone off to church to worship. After Jed and Royce’s deaths, I turned to my faith to find strength and answers to help get me past those trying times, but when Chase was killed, I started seeing things in a different light. I took more comfort in thinking that fate and Mother Nature had more to do with living and dying than God. There was just no answer for that question “Why?”

  When I was a youngster, I had heard an elder remark that spirituality was God-given, but religion was a man-made institution that was created to control the multitudes and hide a multitude of sins! The older I got and the more I experienced life, I started to realize that there was a lot of truth to that old fellow’s way of thinking.

  After Chase’s death, I took more comfort in looking at life from my own perspective. I guess that was just part of the healing process and my coming of age. I never went around sharing my ideas with too many folks. Religion was deep-rooted in most, and I respect that. I continued going to church, but it no longer had the same meaning for me. I enjoyed partaking in the social rituals and visiting with neighbours and friends as I had done since I was a little girl. I still found comfort in that.

  1945 was a big year for us. Logan turned fifty. We had a big birthday celebration for him. It turned out to be the party of the summer. Since everyone hereabouts knew us, he had a huge turnout. I think everyone just needed something to celebrate, a reason to rejoice and be happy. A few of the fellows brought along fiddles, guitars, and other instruments. We had a bonfire and danced and sang songs into the wee hours. What a grand old time we all shared.

  At any rate, it gave folks something fun to talk about for some time. I still chuckle myself thinking back on it. As I remember, there was an awful lot of spirits consumed that evening. I got to feeling a little tipsy myself. Logan and I enjoyed the gaiety of the evening ourselves. It was a good thing that I’d already gone through “the change”, or we may have found ourselves raising another set of twins. Now that would have been something!

  It seems I learned to let my hair down somewhat when I hit midlife. I know I wasn’t as serious as I’d tended to be in my youth. Somehow, I got to appreciating that everything just seems to work out the way it’s supposed to. That’s life! In the end, I learned we just have to carry on and make the most out of it. As Ma used to say, “When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, and lemonade doesn’t taste so bad.”

  life without children

  “By the time the 1950s rolled around, this area had seen a lot of changes. Automation and hydroelectric power had changed the landscape. Horsepower had gone to the wayside. All the farms had at least one tractor. Everyone had some sort of automobile. Road construction and maintenance had become big business. All the northern townships had road crews to maintain their roads. Of course, land taxes had been implemented to pay for this service, but everyone seemed to embrace the improvements.

  The last of the one-room school houses were closed, and a new big brick school was built to replace them. All the children were bused to the new public elementary school. Then they went into town to attend high school. All children were given the opportunity to finish high school. What a privilege to be granted.

  Jake and Jackie both graduated from high school in June of 1949. Jake had hated school, and had no interest in attending college. He headed south and got a job in a car factory. Jackie went to hairdressing school. She could have attended after grade ten, but Logan and I had felt she was too young. We had really babied the twins, and they didn’t have the maturity level of their siblings.”

  “Did you ever tell Mom that, Gran,” Beth laughs?

  “No, dear, and you shouldn’t either. Some of the things I’m telling you today are meant to stay just between us. And that’s one of them. Anyway, Jackie really didn’t mind waiting to go as she had a young beau in town to occupy her time. His family owned the grocery store there. They had plans to get married once he was finished school. His folks wanted him to attend Business College for a few years. Then he would take over the store when his father retired. When Eric, your Pa, left for college, Jackie went and got her Hairdresser’s License.

  James had been working with Logan in the store since he had finished Business College in 1941. He had married and had six children by this time. They had bought a house a few doors down from the store. Even though our children had all grown and left home, we had grandchildren nearby to enjoy. And that we surely did.

  After all the children were grown and out enjoying their own lives, Logan and I started a new chapter in ours. We learned to appreciate life in a different light. We’d never had the opportunity to enjoy any of our married life alone together without children. We had a full house when we started out together with seven children, then we added two more.

  The first twenty years of our marriage were spent concentrating on running the store and rearing the children. It had been a busy household for some time. As much as Logan and I enjoyed special moments together, our time was never entirely spent on us. It took a lot of getting used to when the last of our brood moved out.

  With James running the store, Logan and I often took the truck and headed south to pick up supplies. It was always an overnight adventure. The roads certainly weren’t what they are today. Highway 400 from Barrie into Toronto wasn’t built yet, and the old Highway 11 used to wind its way south through every little town along the way. The automobiles of that time didn’t travel as fast, either. It took twice as much time to make the trip as it would today.

  Sometimes we’d spend the night at Murray or Mary Beth’s. It gave us time to spend with them and their families. It was nice to see the grandchildren. They seemed to grow up faster than our own had. We always had lots of catching up to do anyway, and we enjoyed those visits.

  We tried to stop by Logan’s family store to see his kin, too. We visited with his brothers and their families. Logan would talk store business with them. They’d compare notes on what the latest trends were. It always seemed that we were a little behind in the north country. Styles weren’t so important to us country people in the north.

  Once, we decided to take a side trip and spent the night at Niagara Falls. Now that was exciting. I’d never been there before. We drove all around and did some sightseeing. Of course, the falls themselves were the biggest attraction. They were magnificent. Absolutely breathtaking. Guess that’s why Niagara Falls is one of the top destinations for a honeymoon. Well, we were like honeymooners ourselves. Logan rented us a room for the night in a very elegant hotel. They had a formal dining room where we decided to go to for supper. We ate like the rich folks do, ordering wine and entrees. We feasted on a seafood dinner. It was fabulous. We’d never had lobster before. The whole experience was thrilling to me. We had never done anything so luxurious. Logan said we had worked hard for a lot of years, and once in a while we needed to enjoy the fruits of our labour.

  August was always a good month for us to ta
ke a trip south for supplies. If we had need to go towards Hamilton, we’d travel farther south towards St. Catherines and pick up fresh fruit. We picked peaches, pears, and apples right off the trees. That was always a treat. Sure can’t buy that in a store nowadays. Nothing tastes as good as right off the tree.

  It seems like we got to see a lot of countryside on our trips. We met a lot of real nice folks, too. I never realized how big Ontario really was until I started travelling with Logan. To think that the south western corner was so flat with fields that stretched on for such distances, I would never have guessed. Their machinery was so much more advanced, too, and bigger than what the farmers here at home were using.

  On our spring trips, when the fruit trees were in blossom, we both loved to stop on the roadside to absorb the beauty of the scenery. The orchards were so grand. I had never seen the like. The sheer splendour is hard to describe. I can still close my eyes and envision the rows of fruit trees covered in flowers. And the aroma was so pleasant. It was a real delight to experience. We sure can’t grow orchards like that in this area. Mother Nature just won’t co-operate.

  Well, anyways, Jacob came back home after several years of working in the factory. He hated it in the south. His sweetheart refused to marry him and move to Toronto. That was probably the clincher. Anyway, he had managed to save enough money to buy a small house. It was close by to Ashton’s General Store, and Logan gave him a job helping James in the store. A few months later, he was a married man. Everything was falling into place.

  With both the boys running the store, Logan liked to make all the deliveries. I usually went along for the ride. It gave us a chance to visit with the folks thereabouts. Since I didn’t work in the store very often by then, those excursions gave me a chance to get out. I always found someone to tell me the latest news and catch me up on the gossip.