by Brenda Novak
“No. He probably cared for you a great deal.”
“If that’s true, he wouldn’t want to hurt me.”
“Maybe he thought you’d never find out. Maybe he thought what you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you.”
“He didn’t stop even after I found out.”
“There’s no easy answer, Jackie. At least, not one I can give you. Some men are just like that.”
She bit her bottom lip and looked down at her hands, clasped in her lap. “Some men,” she repeated, then added, “I ran into Rochelle a few years back.”
A feeling of dread, of impending doom, came over Cole almost instantly. Where was she going with this?
“Did you hear me?” she asked, when he didn’t respond.
“Yeah.”
“She said you cheated on her.”
Cole stared down at his thumbnails. Rochelle had said a lot of things, launched a thousand accusations, most of which were completely untrue. He’d let her say what she wanted and had ignored her, partly because he’d felt so guilty about the incident with the trucking secretary that he didn’t think he had grounds to proclaim his innocence, and partly because he hadn’t cared enough to argue the matter. What difference did it make what the people of Feld thought of him? He’d known how hard he’d struggled to be a good husband to Rochelle, a women who’d trapped him, a woman he’d never loved, never wanted. And that was all that had mattered to him. Until now.
“Cole?” There was a plea in Jaclyn’s voice that asked him to meet her eyes. “Is it true?”
He wanted to deny it. Lord knew what the truth would do. But the memory of that day with the trucking secretary was still too clear in his mind.
He briefly considered trying to explain the situation: that his marriage had already been over at the time, that the woman had come on unbelievably strong, that it had happened during the lowest point in his life. But he knew Jaclyn didn’t want to hear excuses. She’d heard enough from Terry.
“Yes,” he said at last.
And then he could say nothing because there was nothing left to say.
SO SHE HAD THE TRUTH AT LAST.
Jaclyn sat alone in her living room long after Cole left, wishing she hadn’t asked him about his unfaithfulness to Rochelle. When she hadn’t known, she could take his side and pretend, in some secret part of her heart, that the rumors she’d heard were just that—rumors. But now she was faced with the blatant truth, from his own lips, and she knew she could never again risk what she’d risked on her birthday. She had to stay away from Cole Perrini for good. He was too much of a distraction from the goals and plans she’d made for her life, too much of a temptation. Which meant she had to go through with getting another job, even though, in her heart, she wanted to stay right where she was.
“Mommy? What are you doing up? It’s late, isn’t it?”
Jaclyn glanced over her shoulder to see Alex rubbing his eyes against the light, standing at the mouth of the hallway. Hair poking up on one side, he yawned while he waited for her to answer.
“I’m going to bed now,” she assured him. “What woke you, honey?”
“I don’t know. I just can’t sleep.”
Jaclyn considered her son, remembered when he was little and came so readily to her lap. She missed that boy. She missed his hugs and his unconditional acceptance. And she wondered if he’d ever forgive her for the divorce.
“Would you like some hot chocolate before you go back to bed?” she asked.
He was just turning to go to his room, but he stopped and blinked at her, looking surprised. “I have school in the morning.”
“Isn’t that my line, kiddo? Come on. A few minutes more won’t kill you.”
“Okay,” he said. “Are you going to have some?”
“Sure. Let’s have some together.”
They went into the kitchen, and Jaclyn put a pan of milk on the stovetop to warm, then sat across from Alex at the table. “I’m glad you’re awake,” she said, taking strength from his presence.
He looked at her as though he expected her to add something, but she didn’t. Her statement was simple and true just the way it was. She didn’t want to think farther than that. As a matter of fact, she didn’t want to think at all because when she thought, she thought about Cole, and then she hurt.
“Have I done something wrong?” he asked warily. “Do you want to talk to me about something…serious?”
Jaclyn smiled, wondering if, in her efforts to be Super Mom, always efficient and in charge, she’d bothered to slow down, listen, and simply be Alex’s friend. “You haven’t done anything wrong. How’s school going?”
“Okay, I guess.” With a little more prodding, he went on to tell her about a boy who kept taking his coat at recess and how they’d nearly gotten into a fight the week before.
Jaclyn listened and smiled and refrained from offering too much advice. That she hadn’t heard about the situation until now indicated Alex wanted to handle it on his own. And she thought she should let him, provided it didn’t get out of hand. “In the future, if you and this boy can’t get along, and you feel like you need my help, just let me know,” she said.
He nodded. “I think it’s going to be okay.”
Jaclyn stood to pour their milk into cups, then added the chocolate mix from the pouches she kept in a drawer. Her spoon clinked against the sides of each cup as she stirred, sounding abnormally loud in the quiet house.
“Dad was pretty mad that you went to Cole’s last weekend,” Alex volunteered, after a few minutes of silence.
“I know.”
“He said Cole’s ruining our family.”
“I thought I’d already done that.”
Alex accepted his hot chocolate, his expression thoughtful. “Grandpa and Grandma agreed with him.”
“Does that surprise you?”
“No, I guess not.”
“They said Cole is trailer trash.”
“I don’t think that’s fair. They don’t really know him,” she said, sitting down again.
“Do you like him?”
Definitely. Despite everything, she liked him, and she admired him. She doubted, faced with the same situation, Terry would have sat on her couch and told her the truth. “I do.”
“What do you like about him?”
She liked too many things too much, so she kept her answer vague. “He’s nice, don’t you think?”
Alex stared into his cup. “Sometimes I don’t want to like him,” he admitted. “I know Dad doesn’t want me to. But…”
“But what?”
“I sort of do. He’s pretty cool. And it doesn’t seem right not to like him just because Dad doesn’t.”
Jaclyn smiled. “You’re growing up, honey. You’re going to be a good man, and I’m very proud of you.”
Alex finished his hot chocolate and put the cup in the sink. “I’d better get to bed. It’s pretty late.”
“Good idea.”
When he started past her, she reached out to ruffle his hair, but he stopped and gave her a hug, instead. “I love you, Mom,” he said, and Jaclyn smiled for the first time since Cole had left.
She had her kids. She was out of Feld. She had a plan for the future. A year ago, she didn’t have that much. She needed to be grateful—and forget about begging for the moon.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
TWO WEEKS LATER the telephone woke Jaclyn, while it was still dark. She jumped at the sound and lunged to her feet, thinking it was her alarm, then groaned when she saw the time. It was only five o’clock. After tossing and turning half the night, worrying about starting her new job at Guthrie Real Estate this morning, someone was waking her a full hour before she had to get up. Who?
She grabbed the receiver before it could wake the kids, too. “Hello?”
“Jaclyn?”
Burt. Jaclyn tensed. She hadn’t talked directly to her ex-father-in-law for months. Why the heck was he calling her now?
“Is Terry okay?”
; “He’s fine. I’m calling about that man you’re seeing, Cole Perrini.”
Jaclyn wasn’t “seeing” Cole anymore. She’d given him her notice two weeks ago, had finished up at Perrini Homes and was starting a new job today. But the kids hadn’t been to Feld since the weekend of her birthday, and Jaclyn hadn’t talked to Terry since the change, so the Wentworths wouldn’t know.
“What about him?” she asked, wary.
“I want you to stay away from him.”
That took a moment to sink in, probably because it sounded so much like a command. When it did, hot, scorching anger replaced Jaclyn’s wariness. “What did you say?”
“You heard me.”
“Have you bumped your head or something, Burt? Because you’re not thinking straight. Terry and I are divorced. You have no say over who I date. Thankfully you have no say over anything I do, not anymore.”
“I think it’s you who’s not thinking straight. Terry’s still the father of your children. And I’m still their grandpa. That gives me some say in their future, and I don’t want a man like Cole Perrini in their lives. He’s not a good influence.”
“Not a good influence?” Jaclyn repeated. “A man like Cole? You don’t know anything about Cole.”
“I know enough. I don’t need to know any more.”
“You pompous…” Jaclyn closed her eyes and tried to rein in her temper, managing to stop before she called him a bastard, a name he’d been called plenty of times behind his back, by many people, but probably never to his face. Peace. She wanted peace between them, for the children’s sake. She had to remember that. “And if I tell you to go to hell?” she said, keeping her voice level.
“I’ll take you back to court.”
Jaclyn couldn’t believe it. Court? Hadn’t they spent enough time and money on the legal system already? “We’ve been that route, Burt. Again and again. Everything’s resolved.”
“It won’t be if you don’t keep Cole away from my grandchildren, dammit. We’ll go back to court until I take every last dime of child support away from you.”
“How dare you threaten me with something that’s for the kids!” Jaclyn cried. “How can you do that?”
“You don’t care about the kids—at least, not as much as you should, or you never would have left here to begin with. They had everything, and now they’re living in a dive in Reno, while you work all the time. Tell me that’s good for them.”
“We wouldn’t have to live in a dive if you hadn’t done your best to release Terry from his responsibility where they’re concerned. He’s their father. Why shouldn’t he have to help provide for them?”
“You’re the one who sued for divorce, Jaclyn. You’re going to have to live with the consequences of your actions. And tell Cole if he ever touches Terry, I’ll call the cops.”
“Still fighting Terry’s battles for him, Burt? I wonder why that doesn’t surprise me.”
“Just get rid of Cole, or we’ll see you in court,” he said, and hung up.
Jaclyn sank onto her bed and let the receiver fall into her lap. Burt Wentworth was up to his old tricks again. He was trying to run her life, tell her what to do, punish her if she didn’t obey. Would he ever leave her alone?
Shaking with fury and feeling slightly nauseated, she ignored the phone when it started to beep from being off the hook. Part of her wanted nothing more than to call Burt back and tell him to do his damnedest. If he wanted to file for a reduction in child support, she’d go back to court and fight him some more. But the other part of her knew she couldn’t win. Burt could hide Terry’s income too easily. He could say he’d been laid off, and the judge would probably lower her child support. During the initial separation, he’d claimed that Terry received a drop in wages and substantiated it with copies of his pay stubs. That was why her child support was so low to begin with. Though she knew Burt had to be paying Terry cash under the table, she didn’t have any way to prove it. Bottom line, she was better off letting the Wentworths have their way than running up astronomical legal bills she’d never be able to pay. Burt usually won in the end, regardless.
“Damn him. Damn Burt Wentworth,” she railed, wanting to slug something. Instead, she dropped her head in her hands and kneaded her forehead. She hated that Burt thought he could exert control over her even now. She wasn’t seeing Cole anymore. But that didn’t matter. What if her ex-in-laws didn’t approve of the next guy? Or the guy after that? They wanted her to remarry their son.
“Don’t worry about Burt,” she whispered to herself, trying to calm down. Considering the way she still felt about Cole, a new boyfriend was probably pretty far into the future. By then, she’d have her real-estate license and be making enough to support her little family, and at that point, the Wentworths would have nothing over her.
Finally hanging up the phone, Jaclyn welcomed the silence. “Enjoy the power while it lasts, Burt,” she said, “because you won’t have it very much longer.”
“HI, JACLYN, how’s it going?” Mr. Greenhaven breezed into the office and good-naturedly slapped his palm down on the high counter that circled Jaclyn and one other receptionist.
“Good,” Jaclyn responded with a smile. Located in the center of the floor, the receptionists’ station was surrounded by cubicles filled with nearly twenty real-estate agents. Sometimes Jaclyn felt as if she were sitting in the eye of a storm. All around her, voices hummed, phones rang, beepers beeped and the monster-size copier and two fax machines along the far wall made their own share of noise. But she liked her new job. It was only her second week, but things were going well. She was getting to know the agents, handling the calls that came in and thriving on what she was learning about loans and mortgage companies and other aspects of selling houses.
Most of all she liked the fact that she finally had a job with a future. No more waitressing. No more wondering what she was going to do for a career. Her life had a sense of direction and lots of hope—even more than when she’d worked for Cole. He’d hired her out of the goodness of his heart; technically, he hadn’t even had a position for her. But Mr. Greenhaven had hired her for completely different reasons. He thought she had potential in real estate, and she was determined to prove him right.
“Any messages for me this morning?” Greenhaven asked.
“You had two calls. I put them through to your voice-mail.”
“You’re doing great. Thanks.” He greeted Nancy, her petite, dark-haired counterpart at the phones, then started toward his office. He’d only gone a few steps when he turned back. “When do you take the test, Jaclyn?”
“On Monday.”
“Good. You’ve got the weekend to study. How do you feel? You think you’re ready?”
“I think so. Do you know how long it takes to get the results?”
“About three weeks. Good luck.”
He strode to his office, leaving Jaclyn to pick up the call that was just coming in and to think about his answer. Three weeks. Providing she passed the test, she could have her real-estate license before Christmas and be a full-fledged agent. Of course, she’d only be selling homes part time at first. She needed to keep her position as receptionist until she earned enough commissions to let her salary go. But with any luck…
“Deirdre, you have a call on line one,” she said, patching the incoming call through to their top agent.
Nancy transferred a call of her own, then swiveled to face her. “You’re taking the real-estate test on Monday?”
“Yeah.”
“You nervous?”
“Maybe a little,” Jaclyn lied. In truth she was terrified. Her whole future was riding on this test. If she failed her first try, she could always retake it, but she’d lose significant time, and she risked losing Mr. Greenhaven’s confidence, as well.
“What did you do before you came here?” Nancy asked.
“I worked for a developer.”
“That should give you a good background for real estate. Which developer?”
“Cole Perrini.”
Nancy’s eyes lit up. “I’ve heard of him. Deirdre and a few of the girls love to take their buyers to see his stuff. His homes are beautiful—and he’s a real looker, from what I hear.”
Jaclyn had seen a few Guthrie agents at Oak Ranch, as well as agents from other companies, but when she switched jobs she pictured herself selling older homes. She hadn’t really anticipated the possibility of doing business with Cole in the future, probably because she didn’t want to think about it. She was trying to put him in the past and leave him there, not that she was succeeding. She thought about him all the time, missed working for him, missed him, to the point of buying ingredients for meals she wanted to make him but never would. “He’s a nice man,” she said vaguely.
“How nice?” Nancy asked, grinning in a way that told Jaclyn she’d grill her until she heard something interesting.
“Very nice,” Jaclyn responded. “He’s also a confirmed bachelor.”
“That’s better than saying he’s married,” Nancy said, grinning. “I mean, what woman can resist the challenge of a confirmed bachelor?”
“I can,” Jaclyn grumbled. But it wasn’t the challenge of catching Cole that frightened her. It was the risk of what might happen if she caught him. If he’d stepped out on Rochelle, chances were good he’d do the same to her.
COLE WAS DAMN LONELY. For one thing, he missed Rick. He hadn’t contacted his brother after seeing him at Jackie’s over a month ago and had no plans to do so. Rick had to make the first move—Cole knew that instinctively, had felt it when he’d seen him. But it didn’t make life any easier to realize that the only thing he could do to help the situation was wait, wait and hope Rick would come around. Meanwhile he had to move on with his life.
A week before Jaclyn’s last day, he’d hired Brandon Johnson, fresh out of college, to take over as controller. Johnson was getting the accounting and other paperwork flowing again. And Margaret was continuing to do her job. Phase I had completely sold out. Phase II was close, and they were taking orders on Phase III. In addition, the Sparks project had closed escrow—they were breaking ground on the model homes this week—and Cole had received the funding to buy the lots Chad wanted him to pick up in Sacramento. All things considered, Cole thought he should be happy. His business had never been quite so large or so successful.