by A. J. Downey
“Well,” I sniffed, “It was always your way or the highway.”
She laughed, “Damn fuckin’ straight –” she stopped herself. When we were younger she would have called me a hooker, just joking around, but now, now I guess it was the truth. An awkward silence ensued.
“You’re you, little sister. Don’t let yourself become what they tried to make you. If you wouldn’t let me do it, why let them?”
I blinked and tears spilled out. It was one of those perfect moments where what she said made perfect sense. She was right, and I wasn’t about to argue her logic. I reached for my sister and she reached for me and we hugged fiercely. We were a broken little family of three and far from okay, but at least now we had a chance to make it right. That, and if I had ever doubted it before, those doubts were dashed. My sister Hope loved me with a whole lot more than I could have ever imagined. She’d come to the rescue, had never stopped looking, even when I had all but given up; she hadn’t and that spoke volumes. We may not know how to relate to one another, but we were sisters and that was a bond that would never ever break. This whole ordeal was proof enough of that.
We talked a lot after that, and it didn’t go unnoticed that Marlin found a number of small tasks to come to the front of his boat where we were at. Checking on us, I think. I wanted to get my hopes up that maybe I could fix things with him too, but I’d had those dashed so many times in the last couple of years, I found myself fighting down their rise at every turn.
Eventually there was triumphant shouting and cheering from the back, and I found my fingertips grazing the leather and metal wristband around my wrist, wishing it were a time piece. We’d been out here for a really long time. Hours and hours it felt like, and Marlin appeared again.
“We’re headed back in, might want to pick up some. The wind is bound to kick up once we start moving,” he gave me a lingering look, and the hurt and reservation in his sky blue eyes left my heart sinking. I swallowed hard and nodded softly.
“Okay.”
He disappeared as suddenly as he’d come and Hope knocked her shoulder into mine, “It’ll be okay. You just need to talk it out. These guys don’t know when to quit and won’t let anything lie for very long. They like to get things sorted and done fast so they can get back to enjoying life.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m with their leader, and that’s the way he likes it. Marlin is his second in command and I’ve never seen them disagree, so I think it’s safe to assume they’re alike in a lot of ways.”
“How did you find these guys again?”
My sister grinned as she picked up around our area and the boat’s motor rumbled to life, “You sure you’re ready for the whole story? It’s a wild ride.”
I nodded, “We haven’t talked about it much.”
“Okay, so I was looking for that bitch ass roomy of yours that you went to New Orleans with in the first place… She dropped off the radar pretty much the exact same time you disappeared,” she made a face and I did too. That was because the bitch had drugged me and sold me to those fucking animals.
“So anyways, I hired a PI and he tracked her last known whereabouts to…”
I listened to my sister. It was a long story, but by the end, I felt a little more put back together. She had gone to such extremes to save me, all of them had, and I just didn’t understand it. I traced the leather cuff around my wrist and thought about something the boy had told me, “We aren’t all bad guys… men, I mean. There are some of us out there that have our head mostly on straight. I’m sorry I wasn’t exactly one of them.” It was the last thing he’d said, before he’d gone out the door and I’d sat in the rank dark of my little cell, clutching his gift in my hands.
We were pulling up to the dock, two of The Kraken’s men standing on it as we did. They looked nervous. Hope and I stood, my sister at the ready while I? I shaded my eyes from the bright Florida sun reflecting off of the boat’s sleek white walls and deck.
“Marlin!” one of them called as we got close, he was stocky and Hispanic, his name was on the tip of my tongue and had to do with a piece of equipment…
“Radar! What’s up, Buddy?”
“We need to talk, Man,” his tone sounded ominous and I found my hand reaching for Hope’s. Marlin eyed his brother in leather and nodded.
“Good deal, give us a hand and we’ll get to it.”
The other man on the dock I knew better. Nothing leapt aboard and nodded in our direction before he set to work helping the men with their gear. They’d taken a lot of pictures with their fish, but ultimately had thrown the catch back into the sea, tired and with a hole in its lip, but otherwise unharmed.
Radar and Marlin wandered up our way, speaking in low and insistent tones, just enough for Hope and I to hear, and the news wasn’t good.
“… was some kind of Senator’s kid or some shit. You beat the brakes off that fucker and he deserved it, for sure, unfortunately the cops are involved in this one and they can’t go away. You need to head out and take Faith with you. They ran her name and she’s got a warrant out for her arrest,” Radar was telling him. I felt myself pale.
“I do?” I asked quietly, “What for?”
“Jumping bond in NOLA. You never answered for your prostitution charge, which was a misdemeanor; the bail jump is a little more serious.”
Oh. Hope turned me to face her by my shoulders, “One thing at a time, Bubbles. You don’t get to panic, not yet.”
I nodded, but my eyes were affixed to Marlin, sorrow welling in the center of my being for having been so stupid. For having gotten him into trouble because I couldn’t hold my shit together. He stared back at me, his face unmoved, his expression shuttered and calculating, he ran his bottom lip between his teeth and eyed Radar.
“Captain’s orders?” he asked.
“Head out to the Locker, he’s stalling the local PD. He needs Hope here to plan but he figures a day, maybe two out there, long enough for the politician and his douchebag son to skip town and go back where they came from…” Marlin was nodding as he listened to Radar talk, and Johnny was on the dock smiling and sending off their fishing clients. Nothing was standing with Johnny and when the two men left, he and Johnny were exchanging words. It all blurred together making me a bit dizzy to think about.
How could I be so toxic? I asked myself, sinking down to sit on the edge of the nearest lounger.
Hope was nodding, bags were being brought on board and my mind was whirling and spiraling uncontrollably.
What did I do, what did I do, what did I do…
“Faith…” I looked up sharply into Marlin’s face and he knelt down in front of me, he reached out and grazed a thumb through the tears I hadn’t even realized I’d started crying.
“We’ll get it sorted, just like Hope said.”
I nodded numbly and he stood, and my sister knelt down giving me a hug, “It’s not the end of the world, Bubbles. Just another bump in the road called life. We’ll handle it. You going to be okay?” I nodded bewildered and she hugged me again, I hugged her back and before I knew it, she was gone and the boat was moving; my sister on the dock with Radar watching us go.
I didn’t even know where I was going. Shouldn’t I know that?
Shit.
What was wrong with me?
I was sick and tired of every little nuanced thing feeling like it had life or death consequences. It was like I was constantly living in that moment, the one where after you’ve tripped and you don’t know if you are going to catch yourself or not. It was like I was there, trapped in that small sliver of time where your heart is dropping and your chest is seized up and you just don’t know all day long. I seriously just wished it would stop, but I didn’t have a name for it, or any idea of how to make it stop.
Nothing sat down beside me and handed me a bottle of water, “Drink this then take this.” He dropped a little round yellow tablet into the palm of my hand.
“What is it?”
&n
bsp; “A valium. It’ll stop the anxiety attack, and if it doesn’t, it’ll at least help slow it down. Maybe make you feel like you can at least breathe again.”
I blinked slowly, the little round pill taking up too much of my vision.
“Is that what this is?” I asked.
He nodded, and I looked him in the eyes, he flinched when our gazes met and I blinked, “How do you know?”
His grey eyes slid from mine, off to the side and he pushed to his feet, “Because I have it too, where do you think I got the valium? Take it or don’t. I’m just trying to help,” he went around to the back of the boat and left me staring at the pill in my hand. Finally, I took it. Popping it into my mouth and swallowing it down before I could change my mind about it.
Nothing was like Marlin; a sweet man, who had done everything to help me and nothing to hurt me. I stared at the wristband around my wrist and closed my eyes, hoping that the pill would at least stop my heart from speeding like it was. I bit my lower lip and stood, finding Nothing and smiling a little sadly.
“Thank you.”
He looked me over and nodded, “No problem.”
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“We call it The Locker, but it’s not exactly, there’s this thing we built, out in the water. A place to stay a day or two at a time when the shit gets too deep, like now, and we need to take cover or just get the fuck out of dodge for a few days.”
“What, just out in the middle of the ocean?”
“Not exactly. It’s inside swimming distance of one of the Key islands if you’re ballsy enough. You and Marlin will be good there until the Captain can come out. He needs time to deal with the cops and for the shit storm to die down.”
“This is all my fault,” I said and gripped the railing, letting the wind carry my hair into my face, hiding my shame for the moment.
Nothing nodded, “Pretty much,” he agreed and I felt it like a needle prick to my heart, “But it doesn’t make a difference if it were you, or Hope, or Hossler or one of the other girls attached to the club. The result would have been the same. Hell, if we’d seen it and it was just another Spring break girl, he still would’ve got his ass beat. We don’t like that shit in our town. Period.”
I looked at him, and his dark hair, just long enough to fall into his eyes, did. He didn’t bother to push it back he just bowed his head and spoke honestly, “Truth is, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Marlin move that fast. The prick deserved to have his ass beat, sure, but because it was you? That son of a bitch got off light, because after everything you’ve been through, that fucker deserved to die.”
He left me then, standing there open mouthed and robbed of speech, as the wind buffeted me and the sleek sport fishing boat cut through the waters turned blue with their depth. We bounced through the small waves for a while, and eventually reached a structure, set out from a small and seemingly abandoned little island.
It was square in nature and mostly wood, with at least two stories to it. The top had a platform on it, and stairs leading up one side. The platform looked like it was for viewing the stars, and underneath it, open on one side looking out over the water, was a seating area. Backed benches were set in a horseshoe shape around a low square table, the seating area decorated with patio furniture cushions in oranges and yellows.
Marlin made the jump from the boat to the floating structure, “Looks like we had some partiers,” he called back then added, “Locks are in place! Johnny, help me clean up before Faith comes aboard.”
It was Nothing who made the leap across to the floating box, and disappeared behind one of the sides of it, there were a couple of nooks to either side of the ground floor, one held a small kitchen the other a showerhead and what looked like a small, boxy toilet. I sat on the edge of the boat and watched the men with fascination for a moment as they moved around this thing, then with a little apprehension when I realized that we would be living on it for a day; maybe two.
I picked myself up and gathered the long skirt of my maxi dress and made the unassisted leap from the side of the boat to the lower most platform of the Locker, which I had no idea why they would even call it that.
Marlin appeared almost immediately, “Whoa, hey, you shouldn’t be over here just yet, there were people out here and they left some needles and shit behind.”
I looked up at him and nodded, biting my lip between my teeth, “I thought I could help, if I’m going to be staying here too.”
He looked me over, appraising and finally nodded, “Let Johnny hand you some of the bags and gear and put ‘em down here.”
I turned back and Johnny was reaching out, plastic grocery bags laden with things presumably from Marlin’s fridge or freezer in them. I reached out and so it went until I had a neat pile of things around my feet. It was a flurry of activity and it felt good to be a part of it rather than just a sidelined observer.
All too soon, black garbage bags were being passed back to Johnny and Nothing made the leap back across onto the Scarlett Ann. Farewells were given and I watched them go, sighing softly to myself. I suppose it was time to face the music.
I turned and Marlin was looking at me, I waited for him to say something, but he just stood there, bags in his hands looking me over for the longest time.
“Hungry?” he asked finally and I was surprised to find that I was. I nodded mutely and he jerked his head to the side.
“Come help me put this shit away and I’ll fix us some dinner.”
I nodded and picked up a bag with food in it and followed him to the side with a small kitchenette.
“Stay here, I need to get the generator running to power the fridge and freezer.” He left me after unlocking the padlock and letting the hasp loose on the freezer then the fridge in the narrow space and soon the rhythmic grinding sound of a generator running filled the quiet.
“It’s old, but it’ll cool off quick,” he said returning around the back of the wall.
I nodded again and he sighed, “I’m mad at you Faith, but it ain’t nothing that’ll last. Let’s eat, we’ll talk and get it figured out.”
I sniffed, eyes welling and nodded when all I really wanted to do was drop what was in my hands and hug him. I felt grateful that he wasn’t giving up on me and I would give anything in that moment to say or do the thing that would erase the hurt, but I knew there wasn’t anything I could do. I’d opened the box and let it out into the world and once it was out, there was no putting it back in.
A gentle touch to the side of my face that I didn’t see coming through the curtain of my hair left me flinching. It didn’t go away though, Marlin’s roughened thumb so gently, so softly grazed my bottom lip as he tipped my face up to look me in the eyes.
“I get it, Baby Girl, you’ve got a lot going on in there. We ain’t never been the best at communicating and I aim to fix that, but first some dinner. Go on up top, I’ll meet you up there and get the grill fired up.”
I nodded mutely and slipped out and around to the side with stairs, taking them in my bare feet to the platform at the top. There was a gas grill bolted to the ground in one corner and the raised platform was all wood. It was beautifully put together but sadly marred with people carving their initials into the wood. In some places, it looked as if girls had painted designs, crudely done, with nail polish. Other things were drawn and written in black permanent marker.
“It happens,” Marlin said with a shrug of one shoulder. “We got lucky this time. All the locks are in place and checking things out, everything is in order. Just some partiers came across it. We’ve had to chase a few off from time to time. It isn’t a big deal.”
“It looks like you all put a lot of effort into this place,” I murmured.
“Yeah, a couple of summers back, one of the boys came across this video on YouTube. This place called the Manta Resort out in Africa somewhere. We built this. It’s a replication structurally and was expensive as hell to build, but the whole club did it.”
“Why do you
call it the ‘Locker’ though?”
“Davey Jones’ Locker, its code. Law enforcement, hell even the Coast Guard would be hard pressed to find this place, and if they did? We would probably just build another one or tow it to another location.” He explained all of this while hooking a propane tank to the grill. Rising in a surprisingly fluid motion and looking back over his shoulder at me as he got the grill started.
“Fish okay? It’s the only thing not frozen.”
I nodded, and he nodded back carefully. He made several trips back and forth from the little kitchenette up to here and I helped where I could, which wasn’t much. Marlin had a thing about people in his kitchen or invading his space when he cooked. Eventually he sent me back down to sit on the couches they had graced with cushions from some storage locker or other.
I sat on the bright orange, canvas wrapped foam in the shade and had a cold drink pressed into my hand as I stared sightlessly out over the water. Soon, Marlin set two plates of grilled fish and vegetables down on the table and eyed me with a grave expression.
“Eat,” he said softly.
I did, and it was good, but in some ways it almost felt like a last meal.
Why and how did I always get myself into these awful situations without meaning to?
Chapter 23
Marlin
She looked both somber and deathly afraid and I could tell it was eating her up inside. The fact that she was so distressed made me wonder. I don’t think Hope had it right; it was Hope’s opinion that when Faith was growing up, when she was caught doing something wrong or whatever, Faith was more upset about being caught than any of the actual damage she did. That wasn’t what I was seeing here. Every time I caught her looking at me she would turn those jewel bright eyes away, made brighter by her fight to suppress the tears. I think Hope was projecting more than a few of her own issues onto her younger sister, and that Faith was climbing the walls on the inside with anxiety over what she’d done. Not because she’d done it, but because it’d hurt, and damn did it ever. I was surprised to find how much.