Suzanne rolled her eyes. “I know you and Jade would both prefer to avoid conflict at all costs, but sometimes life doesn’t work out that way.”
“It would be nice if it did though, wouldn’t it?” Emily sighed. “But I supposed you’re right.”
“I agree with Andrew. And hear me out before you get mad and shut down.”
Emily smiled in spite of herself. They’d been best friends for more than ten years, since they were both big-haired country girls living in the city for the first time. Emily still said that Suzanne’s Mississippi accent was thicker than her own Arkansas drawl. “I will.”
“You and I have known each other for a long time. And over the course of those years, we’ve gone through an awful lot together. Bad breakups, bad haircuts, bad bosses. . .I mean, we’ve been there for each other through them all.”
Emily nodded. “And a lot of good times, too.”
“But you rarely talk about Holly. And you’ve never once told me about this list. You’ve just been sneaking off to do these things in her honor.”
“So?”
“So, I think that somewhere, deep down, you knew that anyone who cared about you would try and get you to let these quests go. And I think that’s why you didn’t tell me. Or Jade. I mean, you practically had a shrine to Elvis in your house and none of us knew.”
Emily sniffed. “You would’ve thought I was crazy.”
Suzanne shook her head. “No way. I never would’ve thought you grieving your sister, however you choose to do it, is crazy. But I do think you may have let yourself get lost somewhere along the way. And that is what I would’ve been concerned about.”
“So you aren’t going to try and talk me out of continuing?”
Suzanne pursed her lips. “I’m going to say—and I know I can’t speak for your sister—but I think she’d want you to be living your own life. You know I don’t have much family to speak of. You and Jade are the closest I’ll ever get to having sisters. And believe me when I say that if something happened to me and you let go of yourself in order to fulfill the dreams I’d had. . .well, I’d be furious with you.”
Emily pondered Suzanne’s words. “I guess I’ve struggled with things more than I’ve let on over the years. I know that I’ve ignored you when you’ve told me you were praying for me, and I know that I’ve come up with every excuse in the book when you’ve invited me to go with you to church.”
“I’ve never stopped praying for you. Even when you acted like you didn’t care, I had a feeling that it gave you comfort.”
“It did. You know, I grew up with a strong faith. But when Holly died, I couldn’t accept it. I couldn’t accept that God would take her that way, so young, so full of life. I tried to turn my back on my faith completely. And then He gave me you as a roommate. I was so mad.”
Suzanne laughed. “Sorry.”
“I mean, there were hundreds of freshman at school that year. Most of them wouldn’t have cared what I did or what I believed in. But you did. And I know that I’ve been a brat about things over the years. Mainly because I couldn’t get over my anger at God. And I still struggle. My parents seem to have just taken everything in stride. My grandparents, my aunts and uncles. They all moved on. And then there’s me. Still in the same spot I was in twelve years ago. Grieving and trying to understand why it happened.”
Suzanne shook her head. “I don’t know that you’re ever going to understand. I’ve struggled with that a lot regarding my dad leaving us when I was a child. I could waste a lot of energy trying to understand why God would let that happen to my family. But at the end of the day, I think that’s what faith is all about: trusting in Him. Not questioning every bad thing that happens in your life. Sometimes maybe we don’t have to understand. We just have to accept and trust that God’s in control.”
Emily sighed. “You make it sound easy.”
“Give it a try sometime. You might be surprised at how good it feels to lean on Him instead of trying to figure it all out and shoulder everything yourself.”
“Maybe.”
Suzanne grinned. “I’ll take a maybe. And in the meantime I’ll keep praying.”
Chapter Sixteen
Andrew had to admit, he felt a little foolish. But the girl at the costume store had assured him he’d be a hit. He walked through the parking lot at St. Jude, ignoring the stares. Then he spotted a grown up Harry Potter and a woman dressed like Minnie Mouse. At least I’m not the only one.
Mary Kate had begged him to come to the special Halloween carnival the hospital had for patients and families. She’d demanded he come in costume, so he’d come up with one from one of her favorite cartoons.
“There’s Fred,” a woman told her little boy as Andrew walked past. “Where do you think the rest of the Scooby Gang is?”
At least he was recognizable. He’d feared he’d just look like some guy who thought bright blue pants and an orange tie was appropriate attire. Not to mention the yellow color he’d sprayed on his hair. The girl at the store had promised it would wash out and he was counting on it.
“Uncle Andrew,” Mary Kate said as soon as he walked inside the lobby. She’d chosen to go as a cheerleader this year and she looked adorable. “You make a great Fred.”
“You sure do,” Sarah said. “Please tell me you’ll walk Ruby around your neighborhood in that getup. She could pass for Scooby from afar, don’t you think?”
Andrew grinned. “And you, sister, make a lovely referee.”
“It was the best I could come up with at the last minute. I know, kind of lame.”
Despite Sarah’s best attempts to cover them up, the dark circles under her eyes told the story of the past few months. “I think it’s a great costume.” He pulled Sarah to the side while Mary Kate talked to a little boy dressed like Superman. “Are you okay?”
Sarah shook her head. “She’s not feeling well. At all. I knew she’d act like she was this afternoon because she wanted to come to the carnival so badly, but I’m afraid something is wrong.”
“Have you talked to the doctor?”
“We’re seeing him tomorrow. The last set of scans and blood work showed improvement, but we’ve known all along there could be some setbacks. She’s been so tired lately and her bones hurt. Some nights she cries out in her sleep, and it breaks my heart.”
“Do you want me to stay with her a few nights and you go to my house and get some rest?”
She shook her head. “I appreciate the offer. But I don’t want to get too far away from her. Maybe some afternoon soon you can come over to our little living space and entertain her while I take a nap.”
Andrew nodded. “Of course.” Sarah and Mary Kate were back and forth between the hospital and Target House. Hopefully in another month or two, her treatments would be more spaced out and they could get further from the hospital, possibly even return to Laurel for a while.
“How about you?” Sarah asked. “Is everything going okay?” She peered at him suspiciously.
His sister had always been able to read him like a book. He’d dreaded coming to the hospital today because he knew he would probably see Emily. They hadn’t seen each other in person since the great Elvis room debacle. “Not the best stretch of weeks I’ve ever had.” He sighed. “But I’ll get through it.”
“That’s funny. Emily has looked pretty down the past few times we’ve seen her, too.” Sarah raised her eyebrows. “Want to talk about it?”
Andrew shook his head. “Not right now. Today is about Mary Kate and giving her the most fun Halloween possible.” He watched his niece stop at one of the booths and collect some candy. The smile on her face was worth more than all the money in the world.
Sarah grabbed his arm. “Okay, I’m guessing you guys didn’t plan this.”
“What are you talking about?”
She pointed down the hallway.
Emily stood in a doorway, laughing with a group of costumed kids. Her red hair cascaded around her shoulders. She wore a short purple
dress and her long legs were encased in pink tights. A green scarf and headband completed the look.
“She came as Daphne.” He shook his head. “I don’t believe it.”
Sarah grinned. “I must say, the two of you are pretty convincing as those characters. And what are the odds that you and Emily would show up as a cartoon couple? Are you telling me that wasn’t planned?”
“I assure you, we are definitely not in the costume-coordinating phase of our relationship.” He grinned. “Besides, that business about Daphne and Fred being a couple was just speculation.”
Sarah laughed. “Whatever you say.”
A woman came over to Andrew. “Fred, will you please go stand beside Daphne and let me take your picture?”
He grimaced. “Uh, sure.” He walked slowly toward Emily. She wasn’t going to be happy to see him. He knew she wasn’t over their argument. Even so, his heart pounded at the sight of her. The purple dress clung to her figure in all the right places and showed off her trim legs. He’d tried not to get too caught up in her physical beauty, but would be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed.
She looked up as he approached. Uncertainty flickered across her face. “Andrew,” she said as she took in his costume. “You make a perfect Fred.” She gave him a tiny smile.
“And you made an equally perfect Daphne.” He stood there, lost in her gaze for a long moment.
The photographer cleared her throat. “Could you two stand together so I can get a picture?”
Emily widened her eyes. “Sure.”
“It wasn’t my idea, I promise,” Andrew whispered as he slipped an arm around her to pose for the camera.
She stiffened but didn’t push him away.
Andrew inhaled the sweet scent of her shampoo and wished he could whisk her away from here and try and make things between them right again.
“Can I get my picture made with you?” A little boy asked.
Emily and Andrew exchanged a glance.
“Of course,” Emily said.
After ten more pictures, including one with an excited Mary Kate, Andrew finally pulled Emily to the side. “Great minds, huh?”
She laughed. “I suppose so.”
He raked his fingers through his sticky yellow hair, suddenly unsure of what to say. Best to go with the truth. “I’ve missed you. I wanted to call so many times, but wasn’t sure if you wanted me to.”
She nodded. “Same here. Every time something funny happens I start to send you a text telling you about it. . .but I stop myself.”
Andrew frowned. “What do you want to do? Do you think we can move past things and get back to where we were?”
Emily regarded him for a long moment.
Andrew waited for her response, hoping she could let go of her sister’s dreams and find some of her own. Preferably with him.
***
Emily had spent the days since her talk with Suzanne trying to sort out her thoughts. She’d paced around the condo until she felt certain there might be grooves in the hardwood. But she still hadn’t been able to let go of Holly’s list.
And she knew that’s what Andrew expected.
“I’m not sure,” she said finally. “If by move past things you mean I put away Holly’s bucket list right now, then no.” She shook her head. “Maybe at some point, I’ll be ready to let that go. But not yet.” At the same time, seeing Andrew made her realize how much she’d missed him. She wanted him to be a daily part of her life.
He let out a breath. “Okay. Let me ask you a question. You say you’re not ready to let it go yet. Does that mean that there may come a time when you are?”
She thought about Suzanne’s words. Would Holly be angry at her for putting her own life on hold? “If I say ‘maybe’ will that be enough for you?” She looked at him hopefully.
“Sounds like it will have to be.” He frowned. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. I just want us to get back to normal, whatever that is.” Andrew gave her a quick hug. “How about we go out over the weekend?”
She nodded. “Can we do Saturday brunch? There’s a restaurant near my place I think you’ll like, but breakfast is their specialty.”
“That sounds perfect. I’m going to do a long run Saturday morning, so I’ll probably be starving.”
“I wondered if you were keeping up with your training.” She grinned.
“Are you kidding? I can’t disappoint Mary Kate. She’s already started making signs to hold up during the race. She’s so excited.” His face lit up as he talked about his niece.
Emily fought the urge to hug him again right then and there. But there were way too many colleagues and patients around for that. “I’ve got to get back to work. But. . .” She trailed off.
“I’ll call you tonight and we’ll make plans. I can’t wait to see you when I don’t feel like we’re in a fishbowl.” He glanced over where a group of kids were watching “Fred” and “Daphne” with interest.
She laughed. “Sounds good.” She watched him hurry to catch up with Sarah and Mary Kate. Would they be able to put their differences aside? Or had the past few weeks already pulled them apart too much?
Only time would tell.
Chapter Seventeen
Emily couldn’t believe it was finally cool enough outside to wear her winter clothes. Memphis weather was notoriously bipolar in the fall and winter months. There had been days in October when the temperature had reached the eighties. But the first few days of November had been deliciously cool.
Even though it was a silly thing, every year when she got to pull out her sweaters and coats, it gave her a thrill. Today she chose dark jeans and her favorite camel-colored turtleneck sweater. Perfect for walking downtown and having brunch with Andrew. She took tall brown boots out of their box in her closet. They’d been her one big splurge last fall. They were dark brown leather riding boots and they made her feel glamorous. She brushed her hair into a high ponytail and stepped back to see her reflection. She was ready. Ready to see Andrew and to hopefully get their relationship back on track. She’d been so keyed up this morning, Suzanne had struggled to keep up with her on their training run.
The doorbell rang and she paused before opening it.
Andrew stood in the hallway, a grin on his face. “Hey, you.” He looked her up and down. “You look amazing. Even better than your stint as Daphne earlier in the week.”
She laughed. “Well, you’re cuter without your alter ego, too. And I’m especially glad to see you rid of those bright blue pants. I do miss the yellow hair though.”
“What? You didn’t like the pants? I almost decided to keep them for everyday use.”
“Stick to jeans and khakis. Walk away from the bright blue pants and man scarf. That’s my best fashion advice for you.” She grinned and grabbed her purse from the coffee table. “Are you ready? The restaurant is within walking distance.”
“Awesome.” He followed her out the door and pressed the button for the elevator. “Where are we going, anyway?”
“That place I pointed out the first time we went out. It’s called the Arcade and is an old-timey diner. It’s been there forever and even has one of those historical markers out front.”
He grinned. “But is the food good?”
“It’s been featured on the Food Network and the Travel Channel, so I guess most people think so. My favorite is the sweet potato pancakes.” Her stomach growled just thinking about them.
They left her building, walking at a slow pace toward the restaurant. Despite the cool temperature, the bright sun warmed them as they walked.
“I’m glad we’re doing this,” she said.
Andrew hesitated for a moment before grabbing her hand. “Me, too. My world got a whole lot lonelier after our argument.”
Emily furrowed her brow. “But that’s not why you called, right? I mean, I don’t want to spend time with you just to keep you from being alone. Does that make sense?” She knew it probably made her sound paranoid. But she wanted to be more to
him than just someone to sit across from at dinner. It had been her constant worry since he’d told her the story about his old girlfriend’s death. What if he wasn’t ready to move on? What if he wasn’t capable of anything real?
“Of course I didn’t call you just so I wouldn’t be alone. I called you because I. . .” He looked over at her. “I like spending time with you. I want to get to know you better.”
Emily relaxed. She still thought he might be holding back a little bit, but maybe it would just take time. “I’m glad to hear it.”
They walked hand in hand the short distance to the restaurant. A crowd of people waited outside. “Busy place,” Andrew observed.
Emily nodded. “Yeah, but sometimes smaller parties can be seated quicker. Do you mind sitting at the bar?”
He frowned. “You’re taking me to a bar?”
She burst out laughing. “Not that kind of bar. More like a soda fountain.”
Andrew grinned. “Oh. Well sure.”
“Hang on one second. I’ll run in and see if we can be seated.”
***
Andrew glanced around the exterior of the building. It definitely looked like an old-school diner, with its neon sign and historic architecture. And from the looks of the growing crowd, it must taste pretty good, too.
“Okay, we’re in.” Emily motioned for him to go inside. He pressed through the crowd and into an even more crowded entryway. The place was bustling with people.
Emily grabbed his hand and led him past the cashier and along a wall until they came to two seats at the bar. “This okay?” she asked.
“Perfect.”
They sat down on round seats, and a waitress slapped menus down in front of them. “Let me know when y’all are ready to order.” She grinned.
Andrew looked over the menu. Everything looked delicious. “I think I’ll try those sweet potato pancakes you mentioned.”
Emily nodded. “I highly recommend them.”
Once they placed their orders and the waitress had brought them coffee and water, Andrew turned toward Emily. “How have you been lately? Anything new going on?”
Can't Help Falling in Love (Memphis Moments Book 2) Page 10