“I think the lady said to stop touchin’ her!” Miguel booms.
“I'm sorry, who the fuck are you? This bitch is mine,” Lance says swaying a little.
I can see the steam coming off Miguel as his eyes shoot daggers at Lance.
“You call her a bitch again, my fist is gonna shatter your nose into a thousand pieces,” Miguel seethes.
Everyone is silent, watching the exchange and Lance laughs, sitting back down. I let out a breath, not wanting a fight on Thanksgiving because of me.
Miguel stares at him for another moment and then goes back to his chair, not looking my way.
“He's just pissed I had your pussy and he still hasn't, right tough guy?” Lance whispers loud enough for the group to hear.
I gasp and get ready to smack the shit out of him, but Miguel beats me to it.
“You son of a bitch!”
Miguel gets up, tackling Lance to the ground, punching his face as Lance tries to cover himself. Nico, Devin and Damon are there, trying to separate the two but Miguel doesn't let up.
“Miguel, stop!” I yell.
Nico grabs Miguel, struggling to pull him off Lance as he thrashes and curses uncontrollably.
“Don't you dare talk about her like that!” Miguel yells.
I cover my face and shake my head, embarrassment and shame filling my body.
“Ali, come here,” Lacey says getting to her feet.
“No!” I snap. “It's true. God, why did I ever think I could have a normal relationship? I never will because of shit like this,” I say pointing at Lance on the floor.
Miguel stops struggling and looks at me. I can see it in his eyes this is the reason. He will always be reminded that countless other men came before him. We'll be sitting in a restaurant and he'll wonder if I fucked any of them. Out at the movies, hell even the studio. The men weren't only from Miami and exhibit A right here.
“Aless...that’s not...I…”
“It is, Miguel! I get it. No one wants the used toy, everyone wants the brand new one,” I say shaking my head letting out a breath.
“Ali, come,” Normani says getting to her feet. “Let me take you home.”
I nod and give everyone a small wave as I follow Normani back towards the house.
There is no way around my past. Miguel only knows a small part and he doesn't even want to sleep with me, let alone try and have a relationship with me. I'll never be able to have a trusting relationship with a man. If I keep my past a secret our foundation is built on lies. If I tell the truth no sane man would stick around. It's just going to be Peter in my life,and I need to start accepting that.
Chapter 9
Alessandra
I walk back into the house with Normani and say our goodbyes, grabbing Peter and walking out the door.
“Peter can use Cooper’s car seat,” Normani says motioning to the backseat.
“Thank you.”
I buckle Peter in and we're driving back to the apartment in silence. I lean my head against the window and let out a breath.
“Listen Ali, I know my brother and if he's not startin’ anything with you, I can guarantee the reason is because of him, not you.”
“Normani, we've been skating around this for four months, touching, kissing and then last night we...well we almost had sex and he stopped it. Told me we could never be anything and then left me there, walked right out of the hall and slammed his bedroom door closed. Knowing people have a history with others and having it thrown in your face are two different things.”
“I know but I really don't think that's the reason. He...he's been through a lot in his life. He takes on burdens and guilt that is so unwarranted. He doesn't judge, Ali. He cares about you and Peter a lot, it's so obvious,” she says putting a hand on my knee.
“I know he does, he's an incredible man, but not romantically. He may be attracted to me but so have other man. I don't mean it to sound conceited, it's just...that's all I've ever been. Miguel is a man, I get it, it just sucks. I thought he would be different.”
“Please don't give up on him, Ali. Take some space, but please give him a chance if he asks for one.”
I let out another breath, closing my eyes and nodding my head slowly.
“I've accepted the path my life has led me on, it's not going to include Miguel, Normani. If that changes though, I'll try. I doubt it will, but I'll try.”
We drive the rest of the way with the music as the only noise filling the space of the car. We pull up to the apartment and Normani gets out of the car, walking with us up the stairs to the apartment.
“Remember what I said, okay? If you need me, I'm only a phone call away.”
“Thank you,” I say hugging her.
I unlock the apartment door and bring a sleeping Peter into his bedroom, take his shoes off and tuck him in. I feel the loneliness start to creep up, the familiar feeling of wanting to forget. Peter stirs in bed and snaps me out of my daze, remembering why I fought.
“Love you baby boy,” I whisper kissing his forehead. “Thank you.”
I sit and watch him sleep, his chest rising and falling, his face so innocent. He's my twin; the blonde curly hair, the bright blue eyes, not resembling his father at all, thank God.
Thinking about Frankie, our toxic past, makes all those negative thoughts fly out of my head. I was still lonely back then; I was still unhappy underneath it all. It doesn't fix my problems, only creating more. I let out a breath and feel my equilibrium return. You are stronger, Alessandra. Peter needs you.
“Hey,” I hear a soft voice say from behind me.
I straighten my shoulders and kiss Peter one last time before I stand and walk towards the door, Miguel in the doorway.
“Can you please move?” I snap.
“Why are you mad at me? I defended you,” he asks confused.
“Why thank you, superman. How would you like your payment? Want me to drop to my knees?” I ask arching my eyebrows.
“Alessandra, you know I don’t look at you like that.”
“Oh, you're right, I know, believe me I know. You made that perfectly clear last night when you left me high and dry in the hallway. What do you want from me, Miguel? You touch me and look at me like you want to screw me until next week but then it's gone, just like that,” I say snapping my fingers. “You don't want me but then get pissed when Xavier asked me out. Clearly, after how you reacted from Lance’s stupid ass comment tonight, it's because of how I've chose to make a living the past year and a half.”
“That's not true!” He booms following me down the hallway.
“Then prove it!” I yell pushing against his chest.
He stomps forward, my back slamming against the wall and his mouth crashes into mine, angry and rough, stealing my protest straight from my lips.
“I have thought about nothin’ except you in my bed, on your hands and knees in front of me as I take you, take all of you, Alessandra. Last night I almost took you right here in the goddamn hallway. Fuck your past, I want this woman in front of me and I have for every single day since you walked through that fucking door.”
“Then do something about it,” I whisper against his lips.
“I can't,” he groans. “I can't, Aless. I don't deserve a woman like you. I've fucked up so many times in my life, you deserve a perfect man and that's not me. You're a selfless woman, an incredible woman, I can't dim your shine.”
“Miguel…”
“You're gonna make some man so damn happy someday. So fuckin’ happy.”
“Miguel, stop!” I say loudly reaching for his arm.
He turns to face me and gives me a small smile, cupping my cheek.
“You don't realize, Aless, you're unshakeable, so fierce. I envy you. I'll always be here for you, no matter what. You won't need me though. Everyday I've watched you blossom into this...this masterpiece. You're not the same woman you were on that first day we met. You've become so much more, and I'll always be in awe of you. Always.”
&nbs
p; He leans forward to kiss my forehead and then turns, dropping his hand from my cheek and walks to his room, shutting the door.
I close my eyes, dropping my head back to the wall and let out a frustrated breath. He left me in the same spot as last night, but this time my heart is the one crying out for him, not my body. The wall is too high for me to climb and no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to break it. I know what I need to do but it's going to kill me to do it.
Chapter 10
Miguel
I snooze my alarm and turn back over in bed feeling like absolute shit. Seeing Alessandra's face last night when I left her in the hallway again makes me want to punch myself in the fucking face.
“You're a dick, Miguel,” I whisper to myself.
What the hell is holding me back with her? Her past is not on my radar. Does it make me want to kill whoever forced her to work at that club? Hell yes. Does it make me any less attracted to her? Fuck no.
Rico’s face pops up into my head and I close my eyes trying to push it away.
“Go brother. Move on with your life. This wasn't your fault. Please...just...live.”
The last words he said to me before he took his last breath. The last moment I felt human, not consumed by the guilt I feel every day that I wake up and he doesn't get to.
I get out of bed pulling my shorts over my briefs and head down to the garage, sitting in my Eldorado.
“What the hell do I do man?” I say out loud.
I probably look like a maniac talking to myself, sitting in my car but it's the only place I feel connected to him.
I run my hands along the steering wheel feeling a tear drop down my cheek and I quickly brush it away.
“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry hermano.”
I shake my head letting more tears fall and brace my head against my forearms on the steering wheel.
Rico would smack me upside the head if he knew how much I was jerking Alessandra around, especially if he was the reason. Is he the reason or am I just being a scared piece of shit?
‘YOLO brother. You know you're gonna bite the big one, what fun is life if you don't do what you want everyday? What if I eat it tomorrow? I could have missed out on that beautiful mamacita blessing me.’
I laugh remembering his words, his antics, his life of the party attitude.
“Okay brother. Okay,” I whisper.
I get out of the car and walk back up to the apartment.
Breakfast. Let's start with that.
I walk towards the fridge and take out some eggs and bacon and get to cooking. I can't fuck up scrambled eggs and bacon and who can resist bacon?
I start the coffee machine and before I know it, I’m walking towards Alessandra's bedroom with the tray of breakfast and coffee. I put my ear to the door to listen and hear some rummaging around. It sounds like she's talking, and Peter's door is open so maybe they had an early morning cuddle session.
I slowly open the door and the sight I see before me nearly makes me drop the breakfast tray right there on the damn floor.
“What the f-, Miguel! Don't you knock?” she says scrambling on top of the bed to hide herself.
Too late. Her pleasuring herself in that sexy, barely there navy blue, lace nightie will be forever imprinted in my brain.
Her long blonde, curly hair falls over her eyes as they close, and she grits her teeth. She moves her hand down between her legs and the buzzing noise stops as she brushes her hair behind her ear. Her cheeks are pink, and I stifle a groan.
“I…” I can't help the smirk that forms on my face. “I came to apologize for last night, hell for everything, really, I-”
“I need a minute,“ Alessandra interrupts, her breathing labored. “Just...give me a second.”
“Sure. I'll leave breakfast here for when ya finish,” I say with a smile.
“I'm not...that's not what I…”
“You don't have to explain nothin’ to me, Aless. You're a big girl. I'll be in the kitchen when you're done.”
I shut the door behind me and walk back to the kitchen, cooking up Peter some chocolate chip pancakes. His egg white kick has ended, and his new favorite thing is pancakes. I probably won't make them as good as Alessandra, but she's busy at the moment.
I smile again remembering her face, the embarrassment and lust both fighting for control. My dick jumps in my shorts at the thought of her touching herself, and damn if I didn't want to hop on her bed and finish what she started. I let out my groan, adjusting myself in my shorts.
“I didn't...I wasn't going to...I ate your breakfast, thank you.”
I turn and see Alessandra with her hands crossed over her chest, a t-shirt and shorts now on her body, covering up that masterpiece.
“You're welcome. Don't stop on my account, I have breakfast for Peter. He'll probably sleep for another hour if you want some help for that thing you're not doin’.”
She huffs out a breath and shakes her head.
“Why? So, you can help me get off but then leave right before I finish?” she snaps.
“Aless, I'm sorry about all that. I...I’ve never done this before. I never had a serious girlfriend and I don't know how to have a relationship. I'm not meant for a serious relationship. Believe me if I wanted one, you'd be the first on the list.”
“Ha! Well thank you, glad I made the cut,” she says rolling her eyes.
“No, that...that's not what I mea-”
“I think I'm going to start looking for an apartment or house for Peter and me. It's safe now, Weston is in jail with Lacey's mom, we don't need your protection anymore. It's probably best we give you back your space,” she says interrupting me.
I glance at her and her expression is serious. She really is gonna move out? Jesus Christ, Miguel, what the hell did you do to this girl?
“Don't...don't do that, Alessandra. Please, just...I’m sorry, okay?”
“Dammit, Miguel! Stop apologizing! What the hell do you want? It's a simple question and I think I deserve an answer. I'm exhausted, you exhaust me. What do you want?”
“I want y'all to stay,” I answer quickly. “I do, I really do. I...I wanna be...friends I guess but more. Take it slow, maybe I...I'm lost Aless. It’s gonna be hard for me to open up, so just be patient with me. I've only really had Normani I could trust, I don't know how to do this,” I say motioning between the two of us. “I just know I want you here with me, you and Peter and I promise you when I start somethin’ with you, I won't leave you unsatisfied again,” I say walking closer to her and wrapping my arm around her waist.
I pull her flush against me and she whimpers, against my bare chest, feeling my rock-hard cock flinch in between us. Her hot breath against my skin causes me to exhale a slow, agonizing breath.
“I… just give me time to think now, okay? All this back and forth is… it's frustrating,” she whispers.
“Let me un-frustrate you,” I whisper back moving my hand down to cup her ass.
“Miguel…”
“I'm sorry, too much. I...I want you to feel comfortable. I don't wanna push you.”
“Please don't treat me differently because of my past, Miguel. If there is one thing I ask of you, it's that.”
“Okay,” I say softly. “Then I would definitely try and ease your frustrations right now, if that's how you want it.”
A smirk forms on my face and Alessandra shakes her head.
“I have to get ready for work.”
“You have two hours. Plenty can be done in two hours. Not enough, but I can make it work. I'm gonna need a whole weekend for all the things I want to do to you, Alessandra.”
“Don't...don't do that, say my name like that!” she huffs.
“Like what, Alessandra?”
She tries to stifle the moan but fails and I smirk.
“With your accent, I… I'm only human, Miguel. I can't think this through with you saying my name so… sexual.”
I kiss her on her forehead and back away slowly, my body fighting to hold ont
o her but my brain winning. Let her think, have her space.
“I… I'm gonna go to the office early to get some stuff done. You and Peter hanging here today or the station?”
“Probably here,” I smile already formulating a plan in my head.
“Okay, great,” she says nodding her head.
She looks around the kitchen, fiddling with her fingers and then looks back to me. Her eyes roaming down my bare chest to the bulge in the front of my shorts.
Last Round (Double Play Series Book 6) Page 8