“Right, okay. I'll get dressed.”
She turns to walk back down the hall and a frazzled Alessandra just may be my new favorite thing.
Alessandra
“Your brother is a jerk, by the way!” I tell Normani as she walks through my office door.
“Figured you may need this. I was gonna ask how things went last night but Lacey texted that you looked like hell comin’ in today,” Normani says handing me a brown paper bag with the logo of my favorite Tai place.
“You guys talk about me? Rude a little, but thanks for the food.”
“Not bad, just when we sense a girls’ get together is needed,” Lacey says from the doorway.
She walks in and behind her is Bella, a very pregnant Bella.
“Fuckkkk Tai, Ali? Damn this child!” Bella complains.
“What's wrong with Tai?” I ask confused.
“It makes me so nauseous,” she groans throwing her head back as she sits in one of my chairs.
“I'll eat it later then, no worries. I remember those days all too well,” I laugh.
“Grace wouldn't let me eat Tai either. Little shits,” Lacey grumbles.
“Okay enough baby talk, why is my brother a jerk?” Normani asks leaning forward.
“He's so all over the place!” I groan throwing my hands in the air. “We almost kiss every other god damn day, gets pissed at me for talking to Xavier Roberts, almost has sex with me then just stomps away. He defended me to Lance the other night, admitted he wants to screw my brains out then walks away again! Thennnn this morning he tells me he wants to date, kind of, I think or have sex or be friends or something, I don't even know! He's so confusing!”
The three women are staring at me, mouths slightly opened, and I groan.
“What do I do?” I say weakly.
“Okay, I'm totally on board with kickin’ his ass, you in Lace?” Normani says looking to Lacey.
“I haven't kicked someone's ass in a long time, I'm down,” she says cracking her knuckles.
I laugh and shake my head.
“For real guys, what do I do?”
“Ali, what do you want? Fuck what Miguel wants, what do you want? You deserve to be happy and if Miguel makes you happy then try things with him,” Bella says with her hand on my knee.
“He does. We have a great time together when we’re not avoiding each other after an awkward almost kiss,” I say rolling my eyes. “He's amazing with Peter. He's funny and respectful and I mean sexy, so sexy. He said my name with this accent today and I swear I about dropped to-”
“Nope!” Normani says cutting me off. “No! No, no, no in that Steve Carell gif way, No!”
We all laugh, and I put my hands up.
“Well, you know what I mean. I just… I’m a little nervous if I'm being honest. I haven't had a relationship since Peter's dad and there are things… I've… done. Things I don't… I don't know if Miguel will be able to look past them,” I admit.
“Ali, take it from someone who knows the spot you've been in. When I first started things with Dev, I had my whole past to worry about. I've done terrible things and when I told Devin, it was like a weight off my shoulders. If I know my brother, no matter what you've done, he still will feel the same as if he hadn't known. He's not a saint either, believe me,” Normani says.
“Thank you guys, really. I… I really appreciate your friendship. You didn't have to bring me into your group after everything I've done and still not being totally honest with you guys and opening up. I...I will I promise just…”
“Ali, no one is knockin’ down your door to open up all your secrets, okay? You tell us when you're ready and like Normani said, we'll still be here no matter what. Unless one of those secrets is that you actually fucked my almost husband. Then you can leave right now and please let the door hit you on your ass on the way out,” Lacey says pointing at the door.
“Lacey!” Bella admonishes.
I laugh and shake my head.
“I'm used to her by now,” I say giving Lacey the finger.
She laughs and winks as we eat our lunch making lighter conversation.
“I got an idea!” Normani says snapping her fingers. “Why don't y'all come down to the farm tomorrow. We’re watchin’ Mia while Bella takes Mason for a checkup and Peter would have a blast with all the animals and Cooper. Get some fresh air away from all that sexual tension suffocatin’ y'all in the apartment,” she laughs.
“Really? Peter would love that!” I say excitedly.
“Of course! Dev can get him up on the new pony we got a couple weeks back. She's a sweetie! And Peppa's mama just had a litter of pigs. They're the cutest things.”
“Oh, you're the best! That sounds perfect!”
The room starts to clear out as we finish our lunch break.
“You remind me a lot of my mama, Ali. You been talkin’ to her? She's great with advice,” Bella says stopping in my doorway.
“I have actually and yes she is. You're very lucky to have a mother like her, Bella. I hope you know that,” I say wistfully.
“Believe me, I know. I don't mind sharin’ if you need to borrow her,” she laughs turning back towards the office door.
I turn back towards my desk and pull the Tai food back in front of me, taking small bites as I think. If I deny myself happiness with Miguel, then I let them win. They've affected my life more than I care to admit, now it's time for me to take it back.
You are strong, you are worthy, you are in control.
But what if your past is too much for him to handle? It doesn't just go away, Alessandra it will stay with you forever. Every day you have to fight it, what if he doesn't want to fight with you?
I lean my head back against my chair and groan. Please someone just give me a damn sign. What the hell am I supposed to do?
“Mama!’ says a small voice from the doorway.
I lean up quickly as Peter runs towards me, jumping up into my lap.
“Damn, didn't beat you to lunch, huh? Tried to leave Tito's Tacos about ten times but big man over here kept havin’ to go potty,” Miguel says laughing.
I want to cry. I swear I'm going to cry. I close my eyes commanding my tears to stay put. Such a simple gesture, bringing me lunch, bringing my baby to come see me, taking him to lunch, taking him to the damn potty, what the hell am I doing?
“Okay!” I blurt out quickly. “Yes, I want to do this.”
I look up and Miguel's brows are drawn together with confusion.
“Do what?”
“You… I mean us… well, yes you, but all of this, what you said this morning.”
Understanding crosses over his face and he smiles walking closer to me.
“All because I took Peter potty? I also gave him a bath this mornin’ and cleaned up the apartment a little. What does that get me?” He whispers in my ear.
“Me secret?” Peter whispers between the two of us.
We both laugh and Peter puts his hand up for a high five.
Miguel slaps his hand and then takes Peter off my lap.
“Let mama eat bud. Here, come sit with me.”
He walks over to the other side of my desk and sits, putting Peter in his lap.
I watch through hooded eyes as my body melts for this man and his compassion, his knowing how to break me down only so he can build me back up again, one slow and sexy inch at a time.
“Miguel, there are...things you should know before you start something with me. I… my job at the club is only the tip of everything,” I say looking down at my desk, not able to meet his eyes.
I see him move out of the corner of my vision and then he's next to me, propping himself on my desk.
“Look at me, Aless,” he whispers putting his hand under my chin, making me look up into his eyes. “There are things you should know about me too, but if I'm bein’ honest, I really don't care what's happened in your past. This woman before me, the carin’, compassionate, strong and very forgivin’ woman is all that matters. I'll be here i
f you wanna talk about it but that ain’t gonna make a difference, okay?”
“O-okay. Thank you.”
“Thank you, for givin’ me a chance even though I sure as shit don't deserve one.”
His smile is big, and I smile back shaking my head at him.
“You are a stubborn man, Miguel Jameson.”
“I'll make it up to you, promise,” he winks.
I furrow my brow and shake my finger at him as he laughs and walks back towards Peter. He lifts him into his lap, and I watch as Peter smiles and burrows into his big chest, my heart finally feeling like it's got it right.
Chapter 11
Miguel
I watch Alessandra walk alongside the pony as Peter laughs hysterically on it's back.
“Horsie!” He yells.
Alessandra smiles and I can’t help the one that forms on my face.
“You got it bad, brother,” Devin laughs from next to me, slapping me on the back.
“What?” I ask turning my gaze away from Alessandra.
“You and Ali. Y’all a thing yet? Mani don’t tell me much, girl code and all that. I know they all probably talk at work though. Those girls are tighter than a pu-”
“What y’all talkin’ about?” Normani asks coming up next to us.
“Nothin’ darlin,” Devin says smoothly kissing her forehead.
I laugh and shake my head as Alessandra guides the pony close to the fence we’re leaning on.
“Sunshine is so precious. Peter is in awe,” Alessandra says.
“She is, ain’t she?” Devin says hopping over the wood fence. “She’s been a dream to train. Cooper loves her and I had to make sure she was ready for Jo when she starts walkin’. They're gonna be my little ridin’ buddies. Mama Mani ain’t a rider. Only in the bedroom, right darlin’?” Devin says winking.
“My sister man,” I groan.
“Keep it up, cowboy. You’ll be standin’ at that alter next week all by yourself,” Normani winks.
Devin chuckles and pulls on Sunshine’s rope, guiding her back towards the barn, Peter still on top as Cooper runs up next to them.
We hear a cry from Normani’s hip, and she pulls a monitor from her jeans.
“Mia’s up. Why don’t y’all come down to the house. I can fix us somethin’ to eat. Dev will bring the boys back.”
I nod and motion for Alessandra to walk ahead of me.
“Your smile is beautiful, by the way. I love watchin’ you with Peter.”
Alessandra turns around and rolls her eyes at me.
“Don’t sweet talk me, Miguel Jameson. What are you trying to get at?”
“Nothin’ at all. Just makin’ sure you know that I like to see that smile.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’ll like it now, then change your mind in five minutes.”
I groan and grab her arm, pulling her back.
“I’m sorry, okay? No more apologizin’, no more givin’ me shit for being an indecisive asshole. I want you and that’s that, okay?”
Alessandra eyes me and a small smile forms on her face.
“Okay, fine. So, when are we doing something about it?” She whispers, running a finger down my chest to the belt of my jeans.
I grab her wrist and laugh.
“I wanna take things slow with you, Aless. I don’t wanna fuck it up,” I whisper.
“Okay,” she whispers back. “I like slow. I… I need slow.”
I see fear in her eyes, and I close my own, composing my anger. Who did this to her? Peter's father? A man at the club?
“Aless, you know I would never hurt you, right?” I ask pushing a stray hair off her face.
“I know you won’t, Miguel. At least not intentionally.”
I shake my head and cup her cheek, bringing her face to me so we’re staring in each other’s eyes.
“Never, Aless. Intentional or not, I will never hurt you. Do you understand me?” I know my tone is harsh, but I need her to know how serious I am.
She closes her eyes and breathes through her nostrils.
“Okay,” she answers breathlessly.
We stay that way for a few minutes, breathing in the others air, our bodies touching, just reveling in the closeness. We’re both broken, pasts that have threaten to derail a future. We can build each other up though, make a new puzzle with both of our broken pieces. Something so beautiful from something so broken. Together.
Alessandra
We walk into Normani and Devin’s house and Devin is pointing his finger at Peter.
“Y’all are missin’ Devin about to pitch a hissy fit. Your son just laid one on little Mia over here,” Normani says laughing as she stands in front of the kitchen island as Mia sits there, giggling.
Peter smiles, putting a hand on Mia’s head and Devin growls.
“Boy, back up. That's my niece. She just started walkin’ man, she’s too young for you!” Devin says lifting Peter off the counter and bringing him over to us.
I laugh and take Peter.
“Peter, what did I tell you about kissing. Only mommy, okay?”
“Kiss baby?” he says in his cute little voice holding his hands up in question.
“No buddy, no kiss baby,” I say.
“Jesus Christ, this what I gotta look forward to with Jo? I better start shootin’ again,” Devin grumbles.
“Good Lord, Devin John. She’s a baby!” Normani says.
“She’s a Gavinwood,” Devin says giving Normani a look.
“Dangit. Maybe I should start shootin’ too,” Normani says with a wink.
Miguel laughs and Peter looks at him, putting his hand up for a high five.
“You dick, you teachin’ him to do this?” Devin snaps.
Miguel laughs again and shakes his head, giving Peter a high five.
“He gives me high fives after everything. I promise I ain’t teachin’ him to hit on the girls, at least not y'alls,” he says with a wink.
“Yeah, yeah. Keep this one in line, Ali,” Devin says pointing at Miguel. “Come on outside and help me start up the grill.”
Miguel hands Peter to me and follows Devin out the back door and Normani turns quickly.
“Oh my God, you didn’t! You totally fu- had a sleepover with my brother!” Normani says eyeing Peter.
“I didn’t,” I laugh. “I swear. We… we’re taking things slow.”
“Ha!” Normani lets out a fake laugh. “I was ‘takin’ things slow’ with Devin and got to third base at Bella and Damon’s rehearsal dinner. Also was ‘takin’ things slow’ the next day at their weddin’ where we left to have se-a sleepover upstairs. Missed the whole damn weddin’,” Normani says laughing.
“Oh gosh, I’m sure Bella loved that!” I laugh.
“Well it was a long time comin’. Can’t hold onto your v-card forever,” Normani says shrugging.
“You… you were a virgin?” I ask dumbfounded.
“I uh… I had a tough past. I didn’t really trust anyone, especially not men.”
I feel the mood change in the kitchen and try and backtrack my words.
“I didn’t mean to bring this up, I’m sorry I had no idea. Good for you though. I… I wish a lot that I could take it all back. Try and find a different path for myself when I found out I was pregnant with Peter. I just… I was… I didn’t really know right from wrong. I wasn’t in my right mind,” I say looking up at Normani.
I wonder briefly if she will put two and two together but if she does, she doesn’t push. I love that about our friendship. We both know that the other has been through hell and back, but we don’t push. We let the other come forward if they want, knowing we don’t judge, and we’ll be there to listen. I confided in her a little bit about my days at the club, but never the reason for my being there. No one knows. No one except Frankie and his father, Marco. He is the reason for it, after all.
“BBQ is hot and ready, just like my future bride,” Devin says coming in the kitchen.
“Again, you di- hijo de puta, that’s my sister
,” Miguel growls.
“Miguel!” Normani admonishes. “Charlotte is the nicest woman on this planet, take that back you idiota!”
Last Round (Double Play Series Book 6) Page 9