The Nightmare Game

by Martin, S. Suzanne

  Although I was at long last sated, I found room for one more glass of the miracle water, amazed that after so many refills I still did not have to pee yet. It was time for me to go to bed because my buzz was wearing off and I was finally beginning to feel sleepy. Vainly admiring myself one last time before heading back, I had finally exhausted the marvelousness of the new me long enough to examine the tattooed body art around my neck that looked like an imbedded necklace. Why could I still not remember where I’d gotten such an elaborate job done? How could I possibly have had such large, extensive work and not be able to recall the parlor that had created it? Oh, dear, I thought, was I getting my body back in spades while losing an equal amount of brain? My reflection, looking back at me, told me she thought it was more than a fair trade. Rather than letting this bother me, I merely struck one last pose, admiring how the tattoo set off my new face and figure to perfection. It was time to go to bed. I took the wet towel off my head and tossed it into a corner, noticing that while my hair had gotten thicker in the interim, I was far too drowsy now to dwell upon this new miracle. My hair still damp, I wrapped a dry towel around it in order not to get the pillow wet. I was too sleepy to try to dry it now, figuring I’d just have to deal with bed head in the morning.

  I unlocked the bathroom doors and filled the glass once again, just in case I woke up thirsty. I turned off the bathroom light and I opened the door to my bedroom, noticing that my night vision was better than perfect as well. I smiled once again at the realization of yet one more gift in a night full of gifts while I put the glass on my nightstand and crawled back into bed. As I pulled the covers over me, I remembered that earlier, before I’d become so ill, there had been something very important and troubling on my mind, something that I need to know, something that I needed to do. What was it? Try as I might, I could not recall, even though it had seemed very disturbing and very important at the time. I remembered thinking that it was something vital and crucial, a matter of life and death, it seemed. Funny, but it was completely gone now. When the memory would not come back, I dismissed it as being probably nothing more than an ominous feeling that stemmed from my being so sick earlier, a fear of dying from the purge, no doubt. I couldn’t let it bother me much, because I was feeling too light and elated, too filled with the wonderfully wholesome and solid sleepiness of a child to want to deal with it. Whatever it was, I figured it would come back to me when it was ready. And if it didn’t, I wouldn’t let it worry me.

  “After all,” I thought as I lay my head down upon the soft, caressing pillow, just before I happily slipped back into cozy sleep. “I guess the old saying’s right. If I can’t remember it, it couldn’t have been that important in the first place”.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “Ashley,” a soft voice awakened me. “It’s time to get up.”

  “Wha?”

  “It’s time to get up,” said Ben.

  “What – what time is it?” I ask, almost too groggy to respond.

  “It’s afternoon. It’s past 3:30.”

  “Can’t be,” I mumbled, burying my head in the pillow, needing him to leave so that I could get back to sleep.

  “Yes, it is. Here’s the watch I take with me to the city. See?” He held an antique pocket watch in front of my eyes. One look at the time brought me to my senses.

  “Oh, crap,” I said, forcing myself to sit up, grabbing the top sheet for cover because I’d gone to bed naked. The towel I’d wrapped around my head came loose when I sat, landing sloppily onto the pillow. My hair, disheveled, fell into my face.

  “Is everybody else up?” I asked.

  “Yep. For hours.”

  “Why’d you let me sleep so long?” I mumbled, blinking up at him as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Without success, I attempted to comb the hair out of my face with my fingers.

  “Because I knew you’d need it. We’ve all been through the purge ourselves, princess. Sleeping in afterward is de rigueur, just a part of the program. Even so, I have to say that you’ve set a new record, one that I’m sure will remain not only unmatched, but possibly even unchallenged, for many years, nay, decades to come.”

  “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

  “I thought as much. Well, at least you can take comfort in the fact that the purge is something that you will never have to endure again.”

  “I should hope not. I don’t think I could go through anything like that a second time.”

  “Was it that bad?”

  “It was brutal. I can’t remember ever being that sick. It went on for hours and hours. For a while there, I thought I was going to die.”

  “I am so sorry, Ashley. After you passed out last night, I was afraid that might be the case. I wish I could have prepared you better, but I had no way of knowing. It’s never been that bad for any of the rest of us, so we had no idea that the essence purge was even capable of being that rough.”

  “You mean that I’m the very first to have that honor?”

  “Yes, sad to say. It seems that everything about the essence hit you particularly hard last night. Even though most of us have fallen asleep after our first essence experience, we’ve managed to wake up enough to make it to bed under our own steam.”

  “I didn’t?”

  “Hon, you were passed out cold. You would have slept through an explosion.”

  “How’d I get up here, then.”

  “I carried you. You couldn’t wake up.”

  “Oh, I thought that was a dream. Thanks, Ben.”

  “No problem. It was just unexpected because nobody’s ever gone out cold from first essence the way you did. I feel horrible about not doing a better job of warning you, but my first clue that you might have an unusually hard purge was when you passed out. By then it was too late. I feel awful about not watching you more closely to make sure you didn’t take in too much essence.”

  “Don’t feel so guilty, Ben. You didn’t know. Besides, it’s all over now and I’m still here.”

  “I think Illea must have been on the right track last night before we took you up to bed.”

  “How’s that?”

  “She thinks that you reacted so strongly because you’re the only one that’s taken essence without being touched by Arrosha first. I really can’t think of any other reason for your having had such a bad time of it last night.”

  “Ben, is being touched by Arrosha that important?”

  “Apparently, yes. It’s a powerful experience to be touched by a living Goddess. I don’t know why she chose not to treat you so differently, but if I’d known that the essence and the purge were going to hit you that hard, the least I could have done was to prepare you better for it. I feel like I can’t apologize enough.”

  “Stop, Ben. You’re making me feel bad now.”

  “Alright, but only if you say so. Listen, are you up to hearing the stories I promised to tell you later today?”

  “Are you kidding? I can’t wait,” I said, looking forward to having the mysteries of my new environment finally solved.

  “Great! So why don’t you get up and get dressed and we’ll be on our way. I want to show you around the grounds a little while it’s still daylight. It’s such a beautiful day, it would be a shame to waste it all indoors. When we’re done with that, we can take a break and I’ll regale you with my tales. That okay with you?”

  “Sounds like a plan,” I agreed. I sounded less enthusiastic than I felt, but I was still having trouble waking up completely.

  “So, other than the purge, how did you like the essence?” he asked. I could tell he was hoping that my experience had been a good one.

  “It was really wild. Everything you said it would be and then some.”

  “So you liked it?”

  “I loved it.”

  Ben smiled. Then he leaned over and brushed the hair from my face, studying me.

  “I’m so very glad. Now that your first experience is over, may I be the first to tell you that the essence did its jo
b very well, far better than I ever expected. You look absolutely lovely this morning. It’s a whole new you, as a matter of fact. Tell me, have you looked in the mirror yet?”

  I laughed, more at myself than at anything else. “Are you kidding? After I got out of the tub last night, I couldn’t tear myself away from it. I even gave Narcissus a good run for his money. Ben, honestly, I have never looked this good in my entire life.”

  “Wonderful! I’m so glad you’re happy with the changes because you have every reason to be. Listen, while we’re on the subject of improvements, I have to ask you, have any more of your memories returned?”

  “I wish. That department’s about as blank as it was before. I just don’t get it. Everything that’s happened since I woke up at this mansion yesterday is clear as a bell but other than a few vague generalities, the rest of my memory is pretty non-existent.”

  “So nothing’s coming back to you at all?”

  “Not really. I think something popped into my mind when I woke up in the middle of the night last night. I don’t know what it was, just that there was something really important that I had to do or take care of. Then I got sick and forgot it completely. I wish I could remember what it was and what was so important about it, but it’s gone now. Completely. And I can’t remember, for the life of me, what it was so darn important.”

  “Do you think it could have been a dream?”

  “You know, it must have been. A nightmare probably. It seemed so vivid but I can’t remember any of it now except that it seemed really important at the time. Then it all evaporated. That sounds like a dream or a nightmare, doesn’t it?”

  “Sure does. If it would have been anything real, I doubt seriously that it would have evaporated like that. I’m sorry that it your memory hasn’t come back. So tell me, is the amnesia starting to bother you or are you still okay with it?”

  “You’d think it would be driving me absolutely nuts, wouldn’t you, but it’s not. Do you think maybe the amnesia’s lingering because I’m better off not remembering? Could it be possible that I’m blocking out something really bad? Do you think that maybe I might have murdered somebody or something like that?”

  Ben laughed. “I doubt that seriously. You don’t strike me as the killer sort.”

  “Hey, who knows?” I teased him. “I might just be an axe murderess in real life. You could very well be harboring a fugitive.”

  “Alrighty, then, Lizzie Borden, before you rediscover the black recesses of your dark, psychotic persona, would you like to get up now and grace us with your presence?”

  “Sure, why not?”

  “Good. I’ll go and wait for you by the elevator while you get ready, okay?”

  “Okay. I’ll try to be quick.”

  “Don’t fall back to sleep again while I’m gone.”

  “I won’t, ‘dad’, I promise.”

  Ben walked over to the door and turned around. He beamed at me with pride, as if I were the little sister he had just noticed blossoming into a young lady. “I really have to tell you again how absolutely gorgeous you look today, sunshine,” he said in a warm, brotherly tone.

  “Thanks, Ben,” I replied. “That’s always a nice thing to hear first thing in the morning. Or afternoon. Or evening.”

  He smiled again and mouthed “hurry” before leaving the room.

  I shook my head, trying to clear the many cobwebs from my brain, reached over to the nightstand and picked up the glass of water that I’d left there before retiring. Within moments after drinking its contents, all grogginess left me, replaced with renewed energy and vigor. I jumped out of bed and began to get ready for what was left of the day.

  Picking up the towel from my pillow, I threw it into a hamper in the bathroom, along with the robe and towels that I’d tossed on the floor last night. When I went to the sink to wash up, I stopped and gasped, my reflection taking me aback anew. I still wasn’t used to seeing such a different face greet me from the mirror, a face which looked about twenty-five at most, even better and healthier than it had last night. I simply could not wrap my mind around this sudden rejuvenation. As wonderful as it was, my inner cynic insisted that it had to be too good to be true. The improvements were too extreme; there had to be a catch somewhere. I sucked down another glass of water and with it all of my doubts and concerns washed away, along with the last vestiges of thirst. What was I thinking? I felt far too magnificent right now to be bothered with such ungrateful and inconvenient thoughts. I had a fabulous day ahead of me and the last thing I needed was a buzz-kill. What I needed instead was further confirmation of the new and improved me.

  This in mind, I once again sought out the services of the bathroom door’s full-length mirror. With renewed admiration, I struck a few extra poses in front of it, noticing with great pride that my body also looked even better than it had the last time I’d gazed upon it. I took no shame in vanity as I touched my face and my body, astonished at the revelation that not only did everything about me look much better, it felt better as well: softer, younger, bouncier, more pliable. I marveled even at my hair, which had actually grown at least three inches overnight and revealed no adverse sign whatsoever of having been slept upon while wrapped up in a damp towel. Its color was different, too, having returned to its original light brown, but with a difference. It was newly enhanced with rich, shiny streaks and flecks of various shades of blonde, gold and copper. It was healthier than ever before, too, and thick, possessed of the kind body that I’d envied even in my youth. It amazed me that in the course of only a few short hours, my hair, even the ends, had been healed completely, devoid now of all of the damage that I’d inflicted upon it about a year ago, the result of a bad home perm which I’d given myself following a disastrous romantic involvement. Why did I always have to take heartbreak out on my poor hair, I wondered. Wait! That was a new memory! Would it be the first of many? Was it a signal that I would soon begin to remember my life before I came here, or at least the important parts? In that instant, my mood became more sober, for I had to admit that ties to my past were at last beginning to mean a little bit more to me.

  With a start, I tore away from these thoughts, suddenly mindful that Ben was waiting for me. I finished my morning toilet and after running a brush through my hair, I was good to go. I headed back to the bedroom and tossed the bedspread haphazardly over the bed, figuring that it didn’t need to be perfect since I’d already kept Ben waiting longer than I’d intended. Rushing over to the closet, I rifled through the robes on my side, picking one that fit my mood, a silky, one-shouldered Greek-style robe which was made of an even lighter, more flowing fabric than that which I’d worn yesterday. Classic but sexy, it had metallic threads of multiple gold tones running through it that I thought would pick up the new highlights in my hair. With all of these fabulous improvements, I was definitely in the mood to feel sexy today, so I quickly threw it on and raced out of the room and down the hallway to meet up with Ben.

  I slowed to a walk as soon as I saw him. He was talking with Illea, Ricky and Robert. As I approached, they all stopped their conversation to turn their attention to me.

  “Well, well, well,” said Robert. “Surely this fine creature can’t possibly be our little waif Ashley now, can it?”

  He walked up to me, graciously extending his hand. He took my own into his as soon as it was offered and briefly led me around in a little circle resembling an abbreviated minuet, all the while looking down from his great height in order to inspect the new changes in me. Normally, I would have objected to such close scrutiny, but today I did not mind. Robert’s manner was friendly and not at all intimidating, so I was content to be perused. The expression upon his face made it quite obvious that he liked very much what he saw.

  “You’ve flowered into quite an intoxicating creature, my dear.” I barely had time to feel myself blush when firmly yet gently he pulled me toward himself and wrapped his arms around me from behind. In a playful tone, he declared, “Ben, I must claim this one for my o
wn. She’s become more lovely than I could ever have hoped in only one mere essence session. Can you imagine her in another two or three?”

  “Hear that, Ben?” Ricky remarked, grinning with mischief as he stood with one arm around Illea. “He called ‘dibs’. You heard him.”

  “Ricky! How dare you!” Illea, though amused, scolded. “And you too, Robert. Shame on the both of you. Ashley, don’t listen to either one of these two fools. Date any guy in our group that strikes your fancy. Date them all if that’s what you need to make up your own mind.” Then she added, looking up at her young man lovingly, “except for my Ricky, of course.”

  “Of course,” I said, both flattered by and suddenly uncomfortable with so much new attention; I simply wasn’t used to it. “Listen, guys, you’re getting way ahead of me. I haven’t even had a chance to get my bearings around here yet and it just might be a moot point anyway. Nobody’s really sure if I’ll be allowed to stay or not.”

  “Oh, but it’s a done deal,” Robert declared, unwrapping his embrace. “Haven’t you heard?”

  “I was going to tell her on the way out,” Ben said. “But since you bring it up, Ashley, the good news is that I spoke with Arrosha this morning and she tells me that you are formally accepted to our group. We thought as much when she let you take essence last night, but now it’s official. It’s only your decision now as to whether you want to stay or not.”

  “Congratulations, my dear,” announced Robert, followed by similar kudos from the rest.

  “Thanks, I guess,” I replied, not knowing how to take these tidings. “So the pressure’s on me now to make a decision. But I don’t know see how I can possibly make up my mind since my memory’s so shot that I can’t even remember my own life. It’s like asking a five-year-old to sign a contract.”

  “Oh, but Ashley, you must stay,” Robert replied. “You absolutely must. And once you join us, I most certainly hope you won’t mind if I pursue you.”