A Bestiary of Unnatural Women

by Ashley Zacharias

  This was the woman who had insisted on wearing flannel pajamas to bed every night since their honeymoon. She had whined, “But I get cold,” so often that he could swear that he could hear her walking behind him, right now, complaining that she deserved to be comfortable in bed. Her idea of sexy clothes probably included baggy blue jeans, a freshly pressed sweatshirt, and a beige bra designed by a certified structural engineer.

  He would just peek in the window for a laugh before he moved on.

  ‘Okay,’ Hillary told herself, ‘the ice is broken now. I’ve made an offer and set my price. It’s almost 9:30, Walt has decided to make me go through with it, so it’s time to find a john, close the sale, and then get the hell out of here. I can do it. Giving a blowjob never killed anyone.’

  She swallowed the last vestiges of her pride along with the last of her Coke and turned around on her stool. She began looking at the men in the room, one at a time, ready to negotiate with one of these men for the privilege of paying her twenty dollars and letting her suck his cock to an orgasm as quickly as he could manage. Hell, twenty bucks was almost nothing and she was sure that most of these guys weren’t too proud to take advantage of a bargain like that.

  At first, she avoided looking at the table where the young man who had previously rejected her offer was sitting. Undoubtedly, to demonstrate their solidarity his friends had already agreed that she wasn’t worthy of any of them.

  The feeling was mutual.

  As she looked at the men, she could not help but form opinions about them, to try to imagine whose cock would be the least distasteful to suck. If the truth were known, she wasn’t even that keen to suck Walt’s cock, but maybe a young Richard Gere was slumming in here somewhere. A twenty-buck whore couldn’t afford standards, but she would be allowed preferences and she was sure that one of these men had to be preferable to the others.

  As she surveyed the room, she a shocking truth slowly dawned on her. While she had been sitting here, nursing her Coke and moping about Walter’s abandonment, the men behind her had not been sitting idle. They had been whispering among themselves, passing the young man’s story being told from table to table.

  She noticed a twenty lying on a table in front of one of the men. Then she noticed another. And another. She realized that every single man in the bar had a twenty lying on the table in front of him. Even the young man who had previously blown her off was now fingering a twenty and grinning at her like the devil himself. Not one of these men had taken the money out of their wallets to buy another round of beer.

  After talking to each other and agreeing that twenty dollars was a cheap price, every man in the whole bar had been quietly waiting for her to finish her drink and get to work.

  She wasn’t going to be able to choose just one man and then leave.

  Walt had an inspiration. If he were going to get a divorce, he would need grounds. What better grounds than that his wife had begun engaging in prostitution? Not only would the grounds automatically include adultery, but he could claim a pattern of illegal activity. Any judge in the state would be so disgusted that he wouldn’t even listen to a question of alimony. He’d just tell her that she could fall on her back and earn her own damn alimony. Hell, Walt would only have to threaten to expose her disgusting behavior in open court she would scurry away without the word, alimony, ever passing her lips.

  He slipped into the bar.

  Of course, she noticed him as soon as he entered – it was a small bar and she was turned on her stool to face the door as well. He grinned at her, shrugged, and sat in a chair at the nearest empty table.

  The whole room was silent, expectant. Something was about to happen.

  A man at the next chair leaned over to him and said in a stage whisper, “She’s a hooker. She’s going to give us all blowjobs for twenty bucks apiece.”

  Walt looked around, astonished, and said, “All of you?”

  “Yup. That’s what they say. All comers. Get your money out.”

  “Twenty bucks?”

  “Yup. That’s her rate. That’s what she told the guy over there. I haven’t heard of a blowjob that cheap since the eighties, but who’m I to look a gift whore in the mouth?” His giggle sounded like gravel rattling in a tin bucket.

  Walt looked back at his wife. She sure looked like a gift whore. Her dress was so short that he could see garter straps stretching half way up her ass cheeks and her tits were hanging half out of a tiny Mary-Kay-colored tube top that was stretched practically to the breaking point.

  Who would have guessed that his prissy little lady had it in her to costume herself like a back alley street walker?

  She was frozen in fear. Looking at the tableau that could have been created solely for his amusement, he could see the pretty little pickle that she had gotten herself into. She thought that she was going to cherry pick some young stud but had completely misunderstood how a group of horny men behaved.

  That was no surprise to Walt. She had misunderstood him for twenty years.

  Now, there was no way she was going to be allowed to leave the room before she serviced every stallion in the stable. And some of these stallions were not only past their prime; they already had one hoof in the glue factory.

  Before the night was over, she was going to get a close look at more diseased skin than a resident dermatologist saw working a full shift in a leper colony.

  After these men got through with her, her mouth was going to be filthier than a sewer pipe. He wouldn’t ever put his own cock into that hole. He’d never been allowed to fuck her mouth before and he wasn’t ever going to want to fuck it after tonight. Kind of a pity. The way she painted those lips bright red like that, they looked damned hot. He felt a stir in his groin despite himself.

  The only other man in the joint who wasn’t fingering his money with one hand and his personal joint with the other was the bartender.

  Walt was going to have to subpoena him as a witness in the divorce proceedings.

  Hillary almost collapsed with relief when she saw Walt walk through the door. No damsel had ever been as happy to see a white knight coming to her rescue as she at that moment. She tried to keep her composure, but felt her eyes tear up in gratitude.

  Then her husband sat down on the far side of the room and grinned at her.

  She silently cursed him. He was so dumb that he couldn’t understand how much trouble she was in. He didn’t have any time to waste. She needed him up here with her right now, offering his protection, not sitting back there, waiting to be served a drink.

  Even as she held her breath, expecting him to make his move at any moment, someone else moved first. An old man with greasy white hair and a sagging potbelly heaved himself out of his chair, clutching his money in a grimy, nicotine-stained fist, waved it in the air and shouted, “I’m too old to wait any longer. My money’s as good as the next man’s. Let’s get this show on the road.” As he yelled, she saw that he had only a few snaggly yellow teeth left in his mouth.

  She had promised that she would service the first man who made her an offer. That was the rule. But she told herself that the geezer had not yet made an offer to her because he had not yet mentioned trading his money for any specific sexual act.

  She had to act now and the only thing that she could do was to slip off the stool, go to Walt and ask him what the hell he was doing back there.

  Her skirt caught on the sweaty fake leather and hiked all the way up to completely uncover both ass cheeks and flash a clear outline of her pussy pressing against the thin red material that covered her crotch.

  She was beyond worrying about the niceties but the men in the bar were not. There was an audible collective gasp at the accidental partial strip tease and the sexual tension in the room rose another notch.

  Walt looked at her with new appreciation.

  As she pushed past the old man who was waving his twenty-dollar bill in her direction, she ignored what he was saying. So intently was she concentrating on getting to her savi
or that, in all honesty, she could not say if he had made an actual offer to pay for a blowjob or not.

  Following the old man’s lead, several other men waved their money in her direction and began shouting, but the rising cacophony of conflicting voices rendered them all unintelligible. She heard the word, “blowjob,” more than once, but was unable to make out any specific offer.

  At least that’s what she told herself. And, given a little time, she knew that she would be able to convince herself that it was true.

  Someone grabbed at her right tit and a couple of others snatched at her ass, but she shook their paws off and kept tottering toward Walt on those precarious heels.

  When she finally made it to his table, she slid into the chair next to him, leaned over and said, “Thank God you’re here, Walt. I was scared stiff.”

  The cacophony abated somewhat. The other men in the room understood that she had chosen her first customer and were willing to wait their turn, at least for a while. By and large, everyone turned back to their own business, but eyes kept sneaking peeks in Hillary’s direction, half expecting that she was going to start servicing the man right there in the middle of the bar and not wanting to miss any part of her ongoing free sex show.

  “I can see why,” Walt said. “You’ve got quite a fan club here. I’ve never seen so many hard-ons in one place in my life. You can smell the lust all the way out the door. You’re a raging success, dear. A raging success. I figure, if you get started right away, you’ll be finished shortly after midnight. That assumes that no one wants seconds and that not many more men arrive. But if word spreads outside, to the other bars on the strip, you may be here until well after closing time. You better get to it before word spreads because, even in the best case, your knees are going to be on fire and your jaw’ll be aching something awful before you’re done. But if you swallow every drop you milk, you won’t leave here hungry. That’s for damn sure. There’s enough jizm collecting in those sacs to fill you up good. You’re a hell of a woman to volunteer for this duty. A hell of a woman.”

  Hillary began to cry. Big fat tears ran down her cheeks – it was fortunate that she had used waterproof eyeliner and mascara, and that she had no other makeup on her face. “Why are you doing this to me, Walt? I don’t understand. I’m your wife. You have to help me.”

  “Hell, no, I don’t. For twenty years you’ve insisted that you know better than me about every little thing from how I should pay the bills to how often the oil needs to be changed in the car. And every time I said anything about it, you launch into a screaming fit and freeze me out of the bedroom for another week. And you made it damn clear that if we ever broke up, you were going to take the children and I’d never see them without supervision again. That was one of your damned unbreakable promises. Remember? Well, that ends now. You made this decision on your own, so you can damn well live with it.”

  “I don’t understand why you’re so angry at me. This is something that I’m doing for you. You said that you wanted me to be more adventurous so here I am, being as adventurous as I know how.”

  “So don’t do it. Just get up and walk out of here.”

  She looked at him with teary eyes. “I can’t. I made you a promise and I’ll never break my word to you. Never. That’s the one thing that you can count on, no matter what.”

  “Then you’re stuck, aren’t you? Tough luck for you.”

  “Please let me take you into the bathroom and suck your cock. Please. That’s all I want. That’s all I wanted all day.”

  “No.”

  “Please. I’m begging you. Let me suck you off and I’ll do anything you tell me to do. Anything. Please.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed all her desperation into it.

  He was silent for a long time, then said, “Anything I want?”

  “Anything. That’s a promise.”

  “An unbreakable promise?”

  “Yes.”

  He was silent for another long period. Someone in the back of the bar yelled out, “Come on, guy. Get on with it. We’re all waiting.”

  He looked around at the leering faces, then back into his wife’s eyes. Then he pulled out his wallet, pressed a twenty-dollar bill half into her cleavage and said loudly, “Okay, baby. Here’s twenty bucks to suck my cock. And you better earn every penny of it.”

  “Thank-you,” she sobbed quietly, and pulled him toward the Men’s room to a chorus of cheers, the twenty-dollar bill sticking out of the tube top, showing all the world how much she was worth.

  Walt let her close the bathroom door, then leaned against it.

  Hillary said, “Thank-you, dear.”

  “Don’t ‘dear’ me. You’re just a whore and I’m paying you so get on with the job.” His voice was cold.

  “Yes, sir,” she replied in a shaky voice. She raised her miniskirt to her hips, revealing her bare ass and tiny thong in all its glory for his inspection, then sank to her knees before him. The floor was filthy, the smell of stale urine atrocious. It was exactly the degrading ambiance that she had imagined all week. She unbuckled his belt, unsnapped his waistband, and then carefully pulled down his zipper. She did not want to catch any bit of skin and put him out of the mood. She felt as though her life depended on doing this right. She wasn’t far wrong about that.

  He gave her no help whatsoever, but she managed to slip his pants over his hips and down to his knees. His boxers soon followed. He was already erect, for which she was thankful.

  He thrust his naked crotch toward her face and said, “Do it.”

  She looked up at his face with an expression that approximated adoration, then grabbed the top edge of her tube top and pulled it down to her waist, letting her tits spring free.

  Walt smiled down at her. It was not a loving smile.

  She began licking gently, alternating swirls around the head of his cock with strokes down the length of the shaft. After a minute of that, she took the head into her mouth, opened her jaws wide to keep her teeth out of the way, and gently sucked while bobbing her head slowly back and forth, drawing more of him into her mouth with every pull until he was pressing against the back of her throat.

  She kept swallowing hard to keep her gag reflex under control while she took more and more of him.

  While she worked him with her mouth, she squeezed and massaged the base of his cock with both hands.

  As his breathing deepened, he began moaning and thrusting forward to meet her. She worked him faster and faster, feeling her tits flopping and banging against her chest in wild abandon.

  Listening to him moan louder and deeper, she realized that she was good at this. Really good. Who would have guessed that she would be a naturally talented cocksucker?

  When he came, thick and long into her mouth, she began swallowing. And swallowing. Never before had she realized how long a man’s orgasm could last. During all their years of normal lovemaking, she had thought that he had just squirted into her a couple of times and that was the end of it. Now, though, experiencing his orgasm so intimately, she realized that after the main ejaculation there were a series of secondary contractions where nothing much came out, but still kept him gasping with pleasure.

  She was happy to stay on her knees on the filthy floor, keeping him in her mouth, gently licking and sucking him clean until he had gone completely soft again.

  Finally, she gently raised his boxers and pants and then began refastening them.

  Only when she had redressed him completely, did she rise to her feet, put her arms around him, press her naked breasts into her shirt, bow her head against his neck and say, “Thank-you. That was wonderful.”

  He merely replied, “You owe me a favor, now. You promised that you would do anything if I let you suck me off.”

  She nodded into his neck and whispered, “Yes. Anything. You only have to ask and I will do it.”

  “Good. I want you to pull your panties off, go out there, pull your skirt up to your waist, bend over a chair, and invite every man in the place to fuck
you in the ass.”

  She looked up at his face, not believing what she had heard. As the meaning of his words sunk in, she began to shake uncontrollably. “What?”

  “You heard me. You promised that you would to do whatever I asked. Unconditionally. I want you to let every man in this bar fuck you up the ass. Actually, I want you to beg them to fuck you up the ass. For free. Your imminent mass ass fucking is on the house. Are you going to renege on your promise to me?”

  Hillary began sobbing.

  Walt let her sob, felt her soaking his shirt with her tears, and waited to see what she would say.

  After a long time, she said, “They’ll tear my asshole wide open. I’ll have to go the emergency ward when all those men are through with me.” Her voice was shaking so badly that she could barely form the words.

  “So? What concern is that to me? I don’t care if you have to get your asshole stitched back together later. That’s your pain, not mine. Are you going to honor your promise to me or not.”

  Her voice was shaking even worse when she said. “You know that I’ll never break a promise, no matter what the cost.”

  “Okay, then. Get to it.” He was implacable.

  “Can I have some lubrication? Can I at least try to avoid some of the damage?”

  “I couldn’t care less. Lube all you want. You got some KY on you?”

  “No. I didn’t think I’d need any lube to give you a blowjob.”

  “Looks like your plans weren’t quite as complete as you thought.” He shrugged. “Go ask the bartender if he has any butter. That’ll work well enough for a slut like you. Don’t worry. After the first few men have broken you in, your asshole will be gaping open wide enough to admit a subway train. Which is apt because you’re going to be pulling a hell of a train tonight.”

  Hillary wiped her eyes as best she could and left the bathroom. A chorus of catcalls and crude comments followed her all the way to the bar. This time, though, no one grabbed at her. All the men in the room had formed a line across the bar, each waiting patiently for his turn with her. This was the train that she was going to start pulling in a few minutes.