The police had come to take statements. Nathan had given his, as had the other staff who had been present in A and E when Annie had been stabbed, but it would be a while before Annie was well enough to speak to them…if she regained her memories of the incident. Thankfully the man who had assaulted her had been caught and charged and was now in custody.
Many of Annie’s friends and colleagues had been to visit and encourage her recovery, and her hospital room was awash with flowers and fruit and chocolates. Aside from Eve, Will and himself, the most regular visitors were Gail from A and E, Holly Tait, who popped down from the children’s ward during her breaks, and Francesca, who came in from the radiology department and spent some time sitting with Annie before leaving for home so that whoever was with her could have a break and get something to eat. Gina and Seb had visited several times, as had Callie and Frazer, all worried about their friend. And Nathan had met self-harm specialist Cameron Kincaid for the first time, when he had called in with his wife and partner in the Ackerman Clinic, Dr Ginger O’Neill, who ran the eating disorders unit.
Nathan was grateful for their kindness and concern, as well as being both touched and puzzled by their support of him. Everyone had rallied round, and his colleagues in the A and E department were making it as easy as possible for him to take time off to be at Annie’s bedside. Chief amongst those smoothing things over and covering his workload was Will. Which Nathan still couldn’t understand. Surely Will and not him had the right to priority treatment where Annie was concerned? But even Eve deferred to Nathan, seeking his advice about any medical decisions and placing him as important in Annie’s life, although she was also clearly friendly with Will.
As Annie regained her strength, and started to spend spells each day sitting in a chair and taking short walks aided by the physiotherapy team, Nathan knew the time was coming when reality had to be faced and decisions made. Any day now she would be discharged to convalesce at home, and what would happen then? Would Will take over once more, relegating him to the margins and excluding him from Annie’s life? Would Annie remember their lovemaking and what had happened between them? The more alert she became, the more nervous and guarded she appeared around him. Any moment now she could choose Will, and Nathan would find himself out in the cold once more.
‘I’m so confused about everything.’
Sitting in an armchair beside the bed in her hospital room, Annie sighed, grimacing as even that small action tightened her chest with pain. Her head felt much better now, the concussion having abated and with it the feelings of nausea and dizziness, but even with the medication she was on the rest of her remained uncomfortable.
‘Are you remembering more now?’ her mother asked, a guarded expression on her face as she glanced up from her task of peeling and coring an apple.
‘Some things,’ Annie admitted, equally cautious, because the snippets of things she did recall made her ashamed and embarrassed and very scared. ‘I still don’t have any memories of what happened in A and E.’
The worry that had been etched on her mother’s face for days was still apparent as she frowned. ‘Maybe that’s a good thing?’ she suggested, handing over some slices of apple.
‘Maybe.’
Annie plucked a piece of fruit from the plate and nibbled at it, lost in her thoughts. The overriding concern that plagued her was Nathan. Fragments had come back to her over the last few days. Enough that she could piece events together and remember how terribly she had behaved—not only five years ago but more recently. Lying to him, making love to him, and letting him believe she was involved with another man. Despite everything she had done to him Nathan had saved her life, had selflessly been by her side the entire time, urging her to live, to get well, helping her mother, generally making everything more bearable, driving himself to the point of exhaustion.
She would never forget listening to his voice, or the way he had made her feel safe and grounded, her light in the darkness. As she had dozed and drifted during those first couple of days he had talked softly to her of the happy times they had shared in the past, relaxing her, soothing her, reminding her of funny incidents from medical school, warming her with tender memories of their life together. She would never forget the other things he had said to her, too—things that were slowly making sense…
‘I love you, Annie…so much,’ he had whispered, while she had still been disorientated and in ICU. His words had been heartfelt and sincere, so soft she’d barely heard them. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t listen when you tried to talk to me. If you want Will and not me I’ll go away and never bother you again. Just get better, sweetheart.’
Now, when she was nearly ready to go home, she sensed Nathan putting more distance between them—pulling back from her physically and emotionally, as if he believed he wasn’t welcome or wanted. He did more hours inA and E—which meant less time spent with her. What terrified her was that once she left the hospital Nathan would leave her and Strathlochan. There had been no opportunity to talk, with so many other people coming and going, and only in the last day or so had she sorted through all her scattered memories and faced the truth. A truth she still hadn’t told him.
Annie closed her eyes as tears stung them. She couldn’t seem to stop crying just lately, but she knew much of that was reaction to all she had been through. Whilst she might not remember all that had happened, she had been told the details. She knew she had been stabbed, knew she would have died if not for Nathan’s quick thinking in getting her to Resus and starting to treat her before Robert Mowbray had taken over to do the thoracotomy.
‘Are you all right, love?’
She swallowed down the foolish tears and opened her eyes, trying to smile for her mother without success, unable to force any words past the restriction in her throat.
‘Oh, Annie.’ Her mother inched closer and took her hand. ‘I wish I could stay longer—or take you home with me.’
‘We’ve discussed this. Your job is important. You have to go back. I’m just grateful you’ve been here through the worst of it.’
‘I know, but—’
Annie gently forestalled her protests. ‘Really, it’s all right. And as for when I leave here, I just want to be in my own place. I have loads of people who will help me. There’s Will, of course, and…’ Her words trailed off, and she battled down a fresh welling of emotion as her thoughts turned once more to Nathan.
‘And Nathan,’ her mother added gently.
‘No.’
‘Why are you so stubborn, love? How can you doubt his feelings when he’s almost made himself ill in his devotion to you these last days, refusing to leave your side?’
Annie shook her head, the tears finally breaking free. ‘You don’t understand. He’s a dedicated doctor and he probably felt obligated.’
‘What nonsense!’
‘You don’t know what I did to him, Mum. He told me it was finished between us. When I go home I know he’s going to leave, and it’s all my fault. I don’t deserve him. I realised too late the mistakes I made and how I really feel about him.’
‘Annie, love, don’t do this to yourself,’ her mother protested, wrapping her arms around her. ‘Tell me what you think you’ve done—what you think I won’t understand.’
Allowing herself to be hugged, Annie sobbed out the whole sorry story.
After finishing a shortened stint in A and E, Nathan had a quick shower and changed his clothes in the men’s locker room, then made his way up to the ward. However foolish he was being, setting himself up for heartbreak all over again, he couldn’t keep away from Annie. He wanted to make the most of whatever time he had left with her, to know she was going to be all right. Despite the fact that she had broken his heart—not once, but twice—he didn’t know how he was ever going to walk away…or survive without her in his life.
As he approached her room he heard sobbing and the murmur of voices. Cautiously he peeped through the small window in the door and sawAnnie in tears, being held in her mother�
�s arms as Eve spoke gently to her. Part of him wanted to rush in, to know what was wrong, to comfort her. But he held back, knowing he had to distance himself, respecting that maybe it was Eve who Annie needed most right now.
‘Are you going or coming?’
Will’s voice sounded behind him and Nathan jumped. ‘Not sure,’ he replied, turning to face the other man and gesturing towards the door.
‘Ah,’ Will murmured after a quick glance through the window. ‘Looks like they need some time.’
‘That was my thought.’
‘Good. Then now is the perfect moment for us to have that talk,’ the man who had become both friend and adversary decreed.
Uneasy, Nathan reluctantly followed Will to the stairs. ‘Where are we going?’
‘The Strathlochan Arms. You need a good meal after days of neglecting yourself,’ he added, understanding mixed with a hint of chiding in his tone. ‘We can have a drink and something to eat.’
A short while later they were in the large but homely pub, a favourite haunt of many of the local medical and emergency personnel. Nathan found a table near a roaring log fire and sat down, worrying about what Will was going to say, puzzled anew at the man’s friendliness when they were, effectively, rivals for Annie’s affections. Or were they? Could Will afford to be so generous because he was secure about his place in Annie’s heart?
Before he had time to sort through his troubled thoughts, Will crossed from the bar and set two pints of Guinness on the table.
‘The food won’t be long.’
‘What are we doing here, Will?’ he asked, after they had both taken a drink from their glasses.
‘Annie could be allowed home tomorrow, and she’s going to need someone with her for the foreseeable future. For a start we need to work out a rota,’ Will stated, as if he’d given the idea much thought. ‘We can make sure we co-ordinate our shifts so one of us is always on hand for her. And I know her friends will want to help, too.’
Nathan rubbed a hand across his jaw, filled with myriad emotions. Predominant amongst them was guilt—guilt that he had made love with Annie, was still in love with her. Will knew the latter—Nathan had told him straight out how he felt about her and why he had come to Strathlochan—but the former…? Despite everything, he liked Will, and he didn’t want to be the cause of hurting him.
‘Will—’
‘Look, Nathan,’ he interrupted, a serious expression on his normally jovial face as he dragged the fingers of one hand through his spiky blond hair. ‘It’s past time we cut to the chase here. There are things you need to know.’
Nathan sucked in a breath and tried to keep calm. ‘What things?’
‘I love Annie.’
Will’s words caused Nathan’s heart to plummet as he saw all his hopes and dreams turning to dust, and the prospect of losing Annie once more a stark reality. ‘I know,’ he murmured, staring into the flickering flames of the nearby fire without seeing anything and remembering his promise to Annie…that he would walk away if she chose Will. How, he didn’t know. He did know that he would never recover from her.
‘I don’t think you do. She’s my best friend and I’ll love her for ever,’ Will said now, sincerity evident in his voice. ‘But I’m not in love with her.’ The qualification had Nathan’s gaze snapping back in time to see amusement flash in Will’s eyes before being replaced by wary uncertainty as he continued, his voice low, ‘Annie and I have never been involved that way—we couldn’t be, because I’m gay.’
Nathan was in the process of taking a fortifying drink as Will spoke, but the shock of the words he was hearing caused the liquid to go down the wrong way. As he choked, struggling to return his glass safely to the table, Will chuckled and helped by slapping him on the back. His eyes were still watering as their food arrived.
For several moments Nathan forced himself to eat something, but he tasted little of the chicken, leek and broccoli pie. All he could think about was the fact that Annie had been lying to him from the first day he had met up with her again. So had Will. Why? He was confused and hurt, but he gave himself time to think, stopping himself from rushing in and saying something he would later regret. He needed to know the full story.
‘So how did all this happen?’ he asked, pushing his empty plate aside.
‘Annie and I started in Strathlochan on the same day. We were assigned to the same consultant, and we hit it off straight away. Our boss turned out to be a dinosaur—very much of the old school, rude to patients, and a bully to his junior staff and the nurses. Thankfully he’s long retired now, but he didn’t think women should be doctors and he was vocally homophobic. He didn’t know I was gay. No one here knew me, so I kept quiet, knowing how much worse it would be if he found out. He made our lives a misery those first few months, and Annie and I gravitated together, giving each other support. I was in a relationship then, with a guy called Carl, and things were rocky. Annie could see I was unhappy. When she encouraged me to talk I took the plunge and confided in her. She was brilliant.
‘When Carl and I split up a short while later I had nowhere to live. Annie insisted I move in and share the house with her,’ Will explained, pausing a moment to take a drink. ‘It worked out perfectly. NeitherAnnie nor I wanted to get involved with anyone else, so we slipped into being each other’s escort to hospital dos, weddings—that kind of thing. I knew her side of the story about her relationship with you—it was raw when Annie and I first met. When you turned up here she panicked. I had no idea what was going on that first day.’
Will shook his head, his smile wry. ‘I had an SOS text to pick her up at the end of her shift. No one was more surprised than me when she flung herself into my arms in front of you and begged me to play along. I was reluctant. We argued about it at home, but I finally agreed to do what she wanted…although only for a day or two, until she decided what to do and talked to you. Once I came to know you, to understand what had really happened, and saw that you still cared about each other, I started trying to talk her round. She can be very stubborn.’
‘Tell me about it.’ Despite everything, Nathan smiled. He sat for a moment in silence, absorbing what he had learned, examining his feelings, thinking back over the events of the last couple of weeks. A light dawned. ‘So Annie set you up with Anthony?’
‘Yeah! Not that I’m complaining! We’ve been seeing each other,’ he admitted, his expression making it obvious how happy he was, and to whom he had been referring in the staffroom when he had declared himself in love. With Anthony, not Annie. ‘It’s time I moved on with my life, took another chance.’ He met Nathan’s dark gaze. ‘And it’s time Annie did, too.’
‘She’s not been dating?’
‘I think you need to talk with Annie about all this, but, no, there’s been no one since you.’
Nathan couldn’t hide his surprise, and a warm glow began to thaw the icy chill inside him at the knowledge that Annie, like himself, hadn’t been with anyone else.
He was trying to assimilate all the information and what it might mean to his future…if he had one with Annie after all…when Will began speaking again.
‘I don’t understand how she blocked out the full truth of what happened between you five years ago, but I honestly think the self-deception was genuine.’
‘I came to that conclusion, too.’ Nathan sighed, rubbing a hand across his jaw, remembering how hurt and frustration had led him to call Annie on her reaction to what Julia had done to Gus Buchanan—trapping him by getting pregnant without his knowledge or agreement. ‘Perhaps I pushed Annie too hard.’
‘No. It wasn’t your fault, Nathan. She needed to face the past, to acknowledge the truth,’ Will reassured him.
‘Maybe. But I’m not blameless. There were things I should have told her all those years ago…the reasons why it was the wrong time for us to get married and start a family.’
Will nodded his agreement. ‘You can tell her now. You have another chance—don’t waste it.’
�
�Annie’s been pulling back the last couple of days, showing signs she doesn’t want me around. We had words before she was hurt. I refused to listen to her explanation,’ Nathan admitted, seeing from the expression in Will’s eyes that he already knew what he was talking about.
‘I know. She told me what happened, and I’m not at all surprised you reacted as you did. Anyone would have. But she didn’t mean it the way it sounded. She wanted to tell you the truth…even if it meant you could never forgive her.’
‘And now she’s forgotten all that happened.’
‘Which is likely only temporary,’ Will reminded him.
Almost sick with nervousness and growing hope, Nathan let down some of his guard and shared his uncertainty with Will who had so unexpectedly become a good friend over the last two weeks. ‘You think there’s still a chance that Annie does feel something for me?’
‘The other night would never have happened if she didn’t. She wouldn’t have been so hung up about you these last five years if she was over you—or got herself in such a panic and handled this whole thing so badly. And it was your name she called when she first started coming round,’ he pointed out.
Nathan sighed, draining the last of his Guinness. ‘She’s hurt me, Will. More than once. Lied to me. I’d made up my mind that I had to walk away for both our sakes, and I was going to accept the job I’ve been offered working for an aid agency in Africa. Then Annie nearly died…’
‘Yeah—kind of focuses the mind on what’s most important, doesn’t it?’ the other man murmured with feeling.
‘I might be the biggest fool ever, setting myself up for heartache and rejection again, but I love her and I can’t live without her.’ Nathan huffed out a breath. ‘Getting Annie to admit what she feels is another matter entirely. What if she doesn’t remember or doesn’t want me?’
Six Sexy Doctors Part 1 (Mills & Boon e-Book Collections): A Doctor, A Nurse: A Little Miracle / The Children's Doctor and the Single Mum / A Wife for ... / The Playboy Doctor's Surprise Proposal Page 72