A slow grin curved Will’s mouth. ‘She will. She does. But in any case I have a plan.’
‘A plan?’
‘Let me explain…’
Feeling more confident about things, Nathan leaned back in his chair and listened as Will outlined his idea. It could work. He’d have to open himself up completely… share everything with Annie, expose parts of his life and his inner self as he had never done before…but it would be worth being vulnerable if it meant he could win Annie back and love her for ever.
CHAPTER TEN
THE sun was shining through a gap in the curtains when Annie woke on the morning of her third day at home since being discharged from hospital. She lay still for long moments, knowing that with movement would come pain. Thankfully it would soon be time for her medication…the painkillers that were making things bearable and the antibiotics that had so far prevented any infection.
She was delighted to be home, but she was so tired all the time and as weak as a kitten. Her whole experience in hospital had given her new insight into what it must be like for her patients, and, however kind the staff caring for her had been, she much preferred her usual role as doctor. Gingerly she attempted to move one limb at a time, but she drew in a sharp intake of breath as pain lanced through her. She really needed to use the bathroom, which meant she was going to have to swallow her pride and accept help—something she found very difficult.
Her mother had stayed on for one more day after their heart-to-heart that last night in hospital. Thinking about her tears and loss of control made Annie groan. Confessing how stupid she had been and how badly she had treated Nathan had been horrible, but her mother had been wonderfully understanding, non-judgemental and generous with her advice. Now her mother had gone home to Yorkshire, and Annie’s resolve to face Nathan and lay her mistakes, the truth and her feelings on the line had wavered…along with her courage.
Not that she had seen him since she had left the hospital. Anxiously she chewed her lower lip. Before her mother had gone home Annie had heard her and Will whispering together when they had thought she was asleep. The news that Nathan had been offered a job in Africa had shocked her rigid. So he was leaving. Her insecurities and deception had cost her the only man she had ever loved—ever would love. The knowledge had preyed on her mind ever since.
Will had been at home yesterday, fussing over her like a clucking hen, making sure she gradually increased her movements and that she did her deep breathing and coughing exercises three or four times a day to keep her lungs clear, even though it hurt. Everything hurt physically. And she had mental hurts, too. Namely Nathan. Will hadn’t mentioned him…and neither had she. But she had wanted to—had wanted to know if he had said anything, if he planned to visit her, to ask if he had already left Strathlochan.
A very different kind of pain lodged inside her. What if she never saw him again? Closing her eyes, wishing she wasn’t so ridiculously tearful at the moment, she tried to think of other things. Like her need for the bathroom and her next dose of pills.
‘Will? Are you there?’ Annie called, one arm across her midriff to brace herself against the pain. ‘Will?’
She heard footsteps approaching along the upstairs landing and shifted cautiously, so she could look towards the open door of her bedroom. A gasp of shocked surprise escaped when it wasn’t Will who came in but Nathan. Dressed in faded blue jeans and a cream-coloured Aran sweater that accentuated the richness of his dark brown hair and unfathomable eyes, he looked sexy and masculine—something she definitely shouldn’t be thinking about.
‘Wh-where’s Will?’ she managed, dragging the duvet up to her chin, feeling ridiculously shy now that her memories of the passionate evening spent in his bed—and the way she had acted afterwards—were far less hazy.
‘He’s at work.’ As he spoke, Nathan walked across to open the curtains, then turned to face her, the light shining through behind him effectively hiding his expression from her. ‘It’s my turn to sit with you today.’
Myriad emotions and thoughts rampaged inside her. Nathan was here—he hadn’t already left Strathlochan. But was he taking his turn out of duty, or because he wanted to be with her? She felt anxious and nervy—horribly aware not only of Nathan himself and the uneasy situation between them, but of the confession she had to make, owning up to her deception. Whether she could also confess her love for him depended on how he reacted to what she had to say…
To her dismay she had been so preoccupied that she had failed to notice Nathan closing the gap between them. Now, as he sat on the side of her bed, she fought the desire his nearness always evoked but which was totally inappropriate… not to mention impossible, given her current condition.
‘How are you feeling?’
‘OK,’ she lied, the husky concern in Nathan’s voice filling her with warmth.
The hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth betrayed his disbelief. ‘Has the headache gone now?’ His fingers whispered over her skin as he brushed her hair back off her forehead.
‘Pretty much.’ She sucked in a ragged breath and inched away from his disturbing touch. ‘It’s a lot better.’
‘I’m glad. The rest of you will soon be a lot better, too.’
An awkward silence stretched for a few moments. Knowing that however bad she felt, physically and emotionally, there were things she needed to say to clear the air, Annie caught hold of his hand. ‘I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for saving my life.’
‘As if I could do anything else,’ he protested, curling his fingers with hers.
Annie hesitated, unsure if he meant because of his professionalism or because he cared about her. Still, she had to stop second guessing everything and do what needed to be done. Thankful that he hadn’t pulled away from her, she took strength and courage from his touch, and from the way his thumb stroked softly across the inside of her wrist.
‘I understand why you didn’t want to listen to me before,’ she began, unable to look him in the eye. She took another breath, cursing the tell-tale waver in her voice. ‘I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and there are things I need to tell you.’
‘I have things to tell you, too.’
‘I see.’ Annie bit her lip, worried that one of those things was to confirm he was leaving to work in Africa. ‘Nathan—’
A fingertip pressing gently on her lips cut off her words. ‘Wait. We have things we need to do first. I’ve got your antibiotics here. Then we can get you sorted out and see to breakfast and your painkillers, before the district nurse comes to change your dressing. After that we’ll get you comfortable and we’ll talk.’
‘All right,’ she agreed, feeling as if she had been granted a stay of execution.
She reluctantly released his hand as he reached out to the bedside table, shaking the pills into his palm before pouring her a glass of water from the jug there. ‘Here we go.’
Trying to hide her wince at the gripping pain through her chest and abdomen, she allowed Nathan to help her, welcoming the arm that slid beneath her shoulders to support her as she sat up, took the pills and swallowed them down with water from the glass he held steady for her. Hating to be dependent on anyone, she nevertheless had no option but to accept assistance to get up. A wash of colour tinged her cheeks as Nathan drew back the duvet and she discovered that the baggy T-shirt she had worn to sleep in—she couldn’t bear anything restrictive around her wounds—had ridden high up her legs. It was stupid to feel so shy and embarrassed given all the intimacies they had shared, but she couldn’t help her reaction.
He made no comment as she fussed to pull down the hem, and was patience personified as she took her time easing to the edge of the bed and carefully swinging her legs over the side. It was an effort to stand up straight…she still felt as if she had been sawn in half. But Nathan was there to support her, and together they took baby steps towards the bathroom.
‘Do you need help here?’
Fighting another blush, Annie shook her head. ‘
I can manage.’ She had to retain some dignity.
‘If you’re sure,’ he allowed after a brief pause. ‘I’ll be just outside. Don’t be too proud to ask for help, Annie. I don’t want you hurting yourself.’
With the gentle admonition hovering between them, he stepped out of the bathroom and drew the door to. Not closed, she noted. Knowing her strength was limited, she did what was necessary. Once she’d attended to her needs, it took a ridiculous amount of effort to clean her teeth and brush her hair, then she pulled on the change of clothes Will had left out for her…another knee-length T-shirt and a cosy, comfortable, button-through fleecy robe over the top. Hardly alluring or glamorous. She sighed, catching a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. Not that she should be thinking about how Nathan might view her, or about the lacy lingerie she wouldn’t be able to wear for a while yet. Feeling a bit giddy after all the activity, she sat down to catch her breath, knowing she couldn’t make it back to the bedroom on her own.
‘Nathan?’ she called, cursing her weakness.
The bathroom door opened at once and he was by her side, sliding one arm beneath her knees and another around her back, lifting her smoothly into his arms, careful to avoid her sore spots. Annie held on to him as he carried her back to the bedroom, resisting the temptation to rest her head on his shoulder, but relishing these brief moments of closeness, breathing in the familiar scent of him. He set her on top of the bed, plumping up the pillows behind her so she could sit up.
‘It’s a beautiful day,’ Nathan told her as he assured her comfort. ‘After a wet, grey January, February has started cold but sunny. And the snowdrops are out.’
Her gaze slid longingly to the window, which afforded a glimpse of the hills. ‘Are they?’ Aside from the brief moments between car and front door, when Will and her mother had brought her home, she had been cooped up inside for nearly ten days.
‘Once the district nurse has been, perhaps you’d like to sit downstairs for a while and enjoy the sunshine and some fresh air?’
‘I’d love to.’ Such a small pleasure, but the fact that Nathan understood and had suggested it moved her. ‘Thank you.’
‘No problem. You relax while I go and get your breakfast and your painkillers.’
He bestowed one of his rare but special smiles on her before leaving the room, and it kept her warm and tingly until he returned a short while later. Again he sat close to her on the bed. He set down the tray and her eyes widened at the fare he had brought her…scrambled eggs, soft granary bread, honey, a banana, a glass of fresh fruit smoothie and a covered dish, its contents hidden. She reached out to see what it was, but he moved it out of her reach and tutted.
‘No, you don’t. That’s a surprise for later—if you eat up everything else. You need to build your strength up and regain the weight you’ve lost.’
Amused, Annie relaxed and started on the eggs. They were light and fluffy and very tasty, stimulating her appetite as nothing else had done since she had woken in hospital so disorientated and sore. Much to her surprise she did manage most of the food Nathan had prepared for her. He opened the box he had added to the tray and pressed two of her painkillers out of the foil strip. Annie took them, washing them down with the last of the tangy smoothie.
‘I’m stuffed. But that was delicious,’ she praised, stifling a yawn, annoyed that the ever-present tiredness was creeping up on her again.
‘You won’t want anything else, then?’
She frowned at the twinkle in his eye as he began to move the tray away. ‘Wait. What about my surprise?’
‘I thought you were stuffed,’ he teased.
‘At least let me see.’
For a moment a look of acute vulnerability appeared on his face, and she held her breath, realising that this was important to him for some reason. Slowly he lifted the lid from the dish. Annie stared at the contents, knowing immediately what he had done. Although none of the local bakeries stocked them, Nathan had somehow found her favourite apple and toffee doughnuts—the special treat he had always bought for her. Tears welled in her eyes. It was one more sign of his kindness and caring, and all she had done was treat him badly.
‘Annie?’
His voice sounded rough, uncertain, and she looked up, meeting his gaze. ‘Where did you find them?’
‘I persuaded the baker to make them for you,’ he admitted with an embarrassed smile.
That he’d gone to so much trouble to think of her when she had been so selfish and stupid caused the tears she was trying so hard to contain to spill free.
Nathan cursed, pushing the tray aside as he slid closer and handed her a tissue. ‘Don’t cry, please. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘You haven’t,’ she refuted as she wiped her face, amazed he could think that.
‘But…’
‘I was just surprised. Overwhelmed.’ She bit her lip, not sure what to say, wondering how something as simple as doughnuts could hold such significance. ‘Nathan—’
The ring of the doorbell interrupted her. Nathan sighed and rose to his feet. ‘That will be the district nurse. I’ll go and let her in. We’ll talk later,’ he promised, pausing a moment to trail the fingers of one hand down her cheek before he picked up the tray and left.
Annie had only a few moments to wonder what later would bring before the district nurse bustled into the room.
Nathan stood at the window in Annie’s bedroom and looked at the view. He hadn’t been in Strathlochan long, but from all he had seen and learned he could understand why Annie had chosen to settle here. She was a country girl at heart, and had felt stifled in a big city. During their years of training in Manchester they had often escaped into the countryside during rare time off. Annie was fond of sport and outdoor activities, and Strathlochan would provide all she needed in that respect. The town was large enough to cater for necessities and comforts, but rural enough for tranquillity and quality of life, surrounded as it was by lochs and hills and forests. With its sense of community, natural beauty and excellent facilities, he could see that Strathlochan was a great place to live and raise a family. A place he could feel at home for the first time in his life…if that home was with Annie…
Nathan turned towards the bed. She had fallen asleep as soon as the district nurse had left. Crossing the room, he sat for a while in a chair beside the bed, just watching her, feeling an ache inside him at her paleness, and hating her discomfort, but grateful that her pain was lessening each day. He couldn’t bear to see her hurt. But at least she was alive.
The love he felt for her threatened to swamp him, but despite all he had found out from his talk with Will he still felt uncertain and racked with nerves. Annie was as skittish as a fawn around him, and he was concerned that she didn’t care about him and wouldn’t be prepared to give him a second chance. If he didn’t feel so anxious and unsure of himself her outrageous deception and her plan to keep him at bay using Will as a shield would be funny. He could only hope Will was right, and that her desperation to manufacture a non-existent relationship had been because she still cared about him, was scared she’d let him get close again and give in to temptation.
Now he understood their relationship and friendship, he was grateful Annie had had someone as caring and kind as Will in her life. It was just as well he liked the other man. He knew Will would always be a part of Annie’s life—of both their lives, if Annie gave him the opportunity to prove to her how much he loved her. But if he hoped to succeed in winning her back he had to do the thing he found most difficult—expose all the raw and hidden places within himself, the part of him nobody knew. He had to open himself up to scrutiny and judgement and possible rejection.
Annie stirred, a frown creasing her brow as she began to move and encountered soreness. Edging closer, Nathan took her hand, stroking her warm, soft skin with his fingers, noting that the bruises from the insertion of the cannulas in her arm and the back of her hand were fading.
‘Hello, sleepyhead.’
&nbs
p; ‘Hi.’ Sooty lashes parted and slumberous blue eyes focused on him. ‘Sorry. I can’t seem to stop napping.’
He shook his head, swift to reassure her. ‘Your body has been through a huge trauma. It’s going to take time. Are you still feeling up to a change of surroundings?’ he asked after a moment, knowing they couldn’t put off their talk much longer.
‘Yes,’ she agreed, but the edge to her voice made it clear that Annie was equally aware of what was to come.
It took a few minutes to help her off the bed. Knowing that it was important for her to take short walks, he helped support her as she stepped gingerly across the bedroom and along the corridor. Once at the stairs, however, he wasn’t taking any risks, and he insisted on easing her down with the utmost care. On reaching the bottom, he carried her through to the south-facing sun room at the back of the house, where he gently seated her in a comfortable armchair. The room was very warm, but he tucked a rug around her and opened the patio door, so she could enjoy the feel and taste of fresh air as he had promised, thankful that the February day was unseasonably mild.
Sitting in the chair next to her, he knew the time had come. ‘Annie—’
‘Please,’ she said quickly, forestalling him. ‘I need to say some things first…things I should have said long ago.’
‘All right.’
‘I was very wrong five years ago,’ Annie told him, rushing ahead before she lost her nerve. ‘I didn’t realise at the time that I’d been left with so many insecurities after Dad died.’
‘I knew how unsettled you were, and grief can have many effects,’ Nathan told her, understanding even now, in spite of what she had done to him.
‘Yes, but I somehow translated that in my mind to a desperate need for security, convincing myself that I had to get you to commit or I’d lose you too.’ She sucked in another breath. ‘In the end I did just that, by pushing so selfishly for marriage and a baby.’
Six Sexy Doctors Part 1 (Mills & Boon e-Book Collections): A Doctor, A Nurse: A Little Miracle / The Children's Doctor and the Single Mum / A Wife for ... / The Playboy Doctor's Surprise Proposal Page 73