A Girl, a Guy, and a Ghost

by Patricia Mason

  “No.” She shook her head. “We’ve got to do it.”

  They trudged up the steps as if going to the guillotine. Wow, the farther up the stairs they got, the heavier the atmosphere. Maybe this guy had put some sort of spell on the house.

  A bear’s head knocker with a large open mouth greeted them at the front door. Giselle glanced at Ry and saw him staring right back at her. He seemed just as inexplicably reluctant to put his hand inside the mouth of the bear to knock on the door as she was. Giselle opted for a fist-on-wood knock instead.

  Almost instantaneously, the door swung open and there stood Armand Kopeleski. At least Giselle assumed the man—almost seven feet tall, standing stark naked before them in the open doorway—was Kopeleski. If there were two wizened old men exhibiting their nudeness around Savannah she didn’t want to see the other one. In fact, she wished she hadn’t seen this one.

  “Help me out,” Giselle hissed at Ry. “I’m going blind here.”

  “I wish I was,” he hissed back.

  Giselle had a glimpse of wiry gray hair flying wildly around a face that had seen at least seventy years, judging by the wrinkles. Black eyes, almost obsidian with an unusual light in them, blazed out of a gaunt face.

  Giselle didn’t know where to look. Look up? She couldn’t stare at his porch light all night. Look down? No, bad idea. Extremely bad idea. Eye contact. That was the ticket. Uuukkkk. No. Peripheral vision was a bitch.

  “Ah, Ms. Hunter and Mr. Leland, I have been expecting you,” Kopeleski’s booming voice announced.

  “You have? How do you know who I am?” She glanced toward Kopeleski’s face in surprise. Eeeewwww. Bad. Pesky peripheral vision again.

  Kopeleski didn’t answer the question. “I cannot say that it is a pleasure to see you here.”

  The lack of pleasure was completely mutual. The pleasure was lacking so much it was off the scale in the anti-pleasure direction. Minus infinity on the scale, in fact. Giselle decided to stare at the spot above his head and squint.

  “Did someone tell you we were coming here?” Ry asked.

  Giselle could see him trying the squinting technique also.

  “No. I have seen it. I have seen you arrive in Savannah, Ms. Hunter. I have seen your antics. I have seen your misguided efforts.”

  “You’ve been watching me, following me around.” Giselle’s eyes zeroed in on Kopeleski’s face as outrage filled. Grrrrkkkkkk. Outrage took too much eye contact. She glanced right before going on. “That’s despicable. And it’s illegal.”

  She turned to whisper to Ry, “Isn’t it?”

  He shrugged.

  Back to Kopeleski.

  “Anyway it’s despicable,” she said while keeping her eyes on the wizard’s feet.

  “No, no, you moronic little girl, I have seen with my third eye.” Kopeleski said, stamping one foot.

  Surprised, she ignored the insult. “You have a third eye?” She had to risk a look at his face for this one. Nope, no third eye visible on his face.

  “No, Ms. Hunter, my psychic eye, my sixth sense.”

  “Oh yes, I see.” Unfortunately she could see again. Major yuck. Maybe looking at his left ear would work. Ah good. Not enough peripheral vision here. Oops, he moved. Ewwww. Dammit.

  “I don’t want to be a prude, and I know this is your home and all, and you’ve been so hospitable so far, but could you please put on some clothing. It’s very hard to carry on a conversation with you…your… It’s just hard. I mean not hard. Not that it’s soft. I mean it’s difficult…” Giselle gave up trying to make it better.

  “Good job. No insult detectible there,” Ry whispered in her ear.

  Kopeleski huffed. “Oh, the Anglo-Saxon, Christian puritanical mores that control the minds of the brainless masses in this country. The human body is natural. I am one with nature in this state. I am better able to contact and control the elements. It is ridiculous that little girls scream when they see the male form…”

  Giselle could well imagine that his male form would elicit a scream. She’d come close to screaming at least twice since she’d arrived.

  “Come in. Come in if you must.” Kopeleski stomped off, presumably to find something to put on. He walked right into her line of vision. The back view offered nothing better. Gravity had not been kind to the man.

  Giselle and Ry stepped inside the house. The hall, open to a parlor, was like a theater set. Perhaps a gothic novel’s location. Intimidating stone gargoyles had been set into the pedestal of the columns supporting the archway into the room.

  As they wandered into the parlor, Giselle registered the décor of reds and purples, with heavy brocades and velvet on the soft furnishings. The walls had been painted a deep magenta that had an almost-black appearance without the benefit of the daylight to bring out the true color. An imposing dark-mahogany mantel, with carved faces and figures, dominated the center of the room. A desk stood at the window. An ominous sideboard seven feet tall and at least five feet wide had been placed along one wall. Bookshelves stood on either side of the hearth. The room seemed crammed with every accoutrement of the magical and the metaphysical. Giselle looked around her, unable to take it all in. A skull, crystals, candles, Ouija board, tarot…the list went on.

  Candles and chalk lay on a large round table positioned in the middle of the room with high-back, Sheridan-style chairs encircling it. A dagger was positioned to the side of the tabletop, along with a one-inch-square metallic item and a ragged scrap of faded white cotton cloth.

  Giselle went closer to take a look at the items. She picked up the scrap of cloth. It consisted of a square approximately six inches in width. It looked as if it had something resembling dried blood on a small part of the corner. She replaced it on the table. Giselle picked up the small metal item. It appeared to be some kind of military medal.

  Seriously creeped out, she edged toward the door. “Let’s get out of here. This guy is freaky. You were right. We never should have come in here when we had that strange feeling outside. Let’s go back to my hotel.”

  “Yeah, but not for ‘zee sex’. I may never have sex again.”

  “I’m witcha on that one.”

  Before they could leave, Kopeleski returned, sweeping into the room. Relief. Giselle saw that he had on a floor-length red silk robe. Hallelujah, it was tied.

  “Ms. Hunter, I have seen your antics in Denver and New Orleans and now in Savannah.”

  “Seen, seen. Or seen, seen.”

  Kopeleski glared at her.

  “Okay, third eye thing again.”

  “You disrupt metaphysical fields with your presence.”

  “I do not!” No idea really.

  “You cause chaos and destruction everywhere you go,” droned Kopeleski.

  “Gotta give him that one,” Ry whispered to her.

  “Shush it.”

  “I am a true ghost hunter,” he ranted. “You pretend abilities that you do not have. By your pretense you attempt to rival my mission. You pollute my efforts. You are an insult. You come here for an invitation that I include you in the ceremony we will conduct tonight? I laugh at your presumption. Ha. Ha.” He said it just that way. Ha. Ha. “I spit on you.” Kopeleski spat in her direction and Giselle moved to avoid the droplets of saliva flying her way.

  Ugh. This guy had a way of grossing her out whether clothed or unclothed.

  “You are a parasite,” he continued to rant. “It is no wonder that someone has attempted to kill you.”

  “Hey, wait a minute. What do you know about that?” Giselle clenched her right hand into a fist and realized that she still held the metal object.

  “And you,” Kopeleski turned on Ry. “You are nothing but a coward. You are to be pitied and despised.”

  Ry bristled. “We’ll take that as a ‘no’ to the invitation. Let’s go, Giselle.”

  Giselle panicked. Should she hand the metal piece back to Kopeleski? If she left with it in her hand she would be stealing it. “Don’t be so hasty, Ry. I’m sur
e the nice man didn’t mean to be impolite.”

  “You contaminate my home. Get out,” Kopeleski shouted.

  Dammit. No question about that one.

  Ry grabbed Giselle’s fisted right hand. “Come on, Giselle. Let’s go.” He pulled her out of the parlor, through the hall and out the front door.

  It was Saturday, 11:28 p.m. And, omigod, she was a thief.

  Chapter Six

  “Why didn’t you drop it on the floor before we left his house?” Ry continued to fume about the medal as he had done nonstop since they’d left Kopeleski’s. They sat on Ry’s front stoop. They’d been there for at least five minutes and he had not yet exhausted the subject.

  “Because, as I’ve said at least one thousand times—” Actual count three. “You were holding my hand shut and manhandling me out the door.” Giselle ground her teeth together. She’d be tearing her hair out soon if he didn’t get over it.

  At almost midnight, the Savannah night air remained hot and damp. The irritable mood must result from the weather. There could be nothing else to blame the mood on. Oh no. It couldn’t be that in less than two days she’d be jobless, someone had tried to kill her…twice, and she’d just managed to steal—accidentally of course—an object belonging to a crazy man who claimed to be a wizard and therefore could probably turn her into a toad. No, it had to be the Savannah heat and humidity.

  Ry held the medal, tilting it this way and that to catch the light of the streetlamp. The light glinted dimly off its surface. “It looks like a Revolutionary War era military medal. But it could be a fake. There are a lot of them out there.”

  At Giselle’s arch look, Ry continued. “I used to collect as a kid.” He turned the medal over and examined the backside. “It might be something Kopeleski thinks belonged to the ghost he’s trying to summon. An object personally owned by a subject during their lifetime sometimes helps summon the spirit form.”

  Giselle gaped at him. “How do you know so much Mr. Non-psychic Detective?”

  Ry started. His eyes shot to hers and then away. “I don’t. But you can’t help but hear things in Savannah.”

  Yeah, sure. There had to be more to this. If only she had the time to question him about it.

  “If it really is Revolutionary War era, it’s got to be worth money. So how are we going to get it back into the nudist camp before the crazy wizard discovers that it’s missing?” Giselle rubbed her forehead. A headache pounded beneath her temple.

  “I don’t know,” Ry said. “But it just got a lot harder.” He nodded toward the group of three people knocking on Kopeleski’s door.

  “I’ve got an idea.” Giselle fished in her purse and pulled out her cell phone with a triumphant look at Ry.

  “How’s your cell phone going to get the medal back into that house?”

  Giselle punched in a number. Mary Ellen, who lived a few streets away, arrived less than five minutes later. Mary Ellen swanned to Giselle’s side and gave her a hug.

  “I need a favor,” Giselle said.

  “I’ll do any favor you want. I owe you one for the Vector incident,” Mary Ellen replied.

  “You have no idea. The little skunk accosted me again earlier tonight. It was a nightmare. I’m telling you he—”

  Ry interrupted. “After all we’ve been through, that was the nightmare? Besides, we don’t have time for this. What’s your plan?”

  “It’s simple. Mary Ellen takes the medal and gets herself invited into the Kopeleski house where she drops it as close to the table as possible.”

  “How’s she going to get invited in?” Ry asked. “He’s not the most hospitable man on the planet. He’s not even the most hospitable man on the block.”

  “Yeah, but he’s a man. Just look at her.” Giselle pointed at Mary Ellen and her obvious movie-star-quality beauty. Her long blonde hair was swept into a messy up-do with tendrils escaping around her face. She wore hip-hugging, tight blue jeans and a sequined, green camisole blouse. If she wore makeup, Giselle couldn’t see any evidence of it. Yet her complexion was perfect. Even standing on a stoop in casual clothing, Mary Ellen was sexy.

  Ry considered for a moment then nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. He’ll let her in.”

  Giselle’s gaze narrowed to a glare. The jerk.

  “What? I’m agreeing with you. Why are you looking at me like I’m going to need shin guards again?”

  “Never mind, genius,” Mary Ellen said, obviously attuned to her best friend’s feelings for the man.

  “Once she drops the medal, she just makes an excuse and leaves,” Giselle said. “Piece of cake.”

  Ry looked doubtful. “Why is it nothing with you is cake? The cake always seems to turn to a pile of―”

  “Don’t say it. This is going to work. And to be sure that she’s safe, we’ll watch from across the street. Anyone can see into this guy’s house through the floor-to-ceiling windows. It’s like a stage.”

  “Yeah.” Ry had a sour look on his face as he seemed to remember the proof of that statement. Giselle remembered too. Eeewww.

  Mary Ellen took the medal and put it into her jeans pocket. As she stuffed it down, her toned belly, complete with sparkly ring, was on display. Giselle noticed Ry noticing and jabbed him in the stomach with her elbow.

  “What? I didn’t say anything.” Ry said, holding his hands up to defend against another blow.

  Mary Ellen laughed as she trotted off down the sidewalk in the direction of Kopeleski’s house. She had almost reached the stairs to the front door when a figure emerged from a parked vehicle and began to approach. It soon became obvious that the two would converge.

  “Uh-oh. This is not good news,” Ry said.

  The figure, Madam Divinity, reached the foot of the stairs almost simultaneously with Mary Ellen.

  “I had no idea M—Madam knew Kopeleski.” Ry stepped back into the shadows of the porch as if he feared being seen.

  “Why would you?”

  “No reason.”

  “After you,” Mary Ellen could be heard saying, and then Madam preceded her up the stairs. Kopeleski opened the door before either of the ladies knocked. As he greeted them, he seemed to assume that Madam and Mary Ellen were together because he invited them both in without a question.

  “She’s in. I told you it would work.”

  “She’s not out yet,” Ry commented. “I think we should get closer and make sure that she’s all right in there.”

  Ry and Giselle moved to a position across the street from casa Kopeleski. Ry had obtained binoculars from his Jeep and stared through them into the house. Giselle could see with her naked eyes that the parlor of the house had filled with at least ten people, including her friend.

  “Kopeleski can’t seem to take his eyes off Mary Ellen,” Ry observed.

  “That’s good.”

  “Not really. It doesn’t give her an opportunity to drop the medal without being seen.”

  “Oooh, good point.”

  Dammit, Mary Ellen always had been too attractive for Giselle’s good. And now Ry thought her attractive. Giselle had never minded that her friend was so gorgeous until now. A good friend, a best friend, wouldn’t be so damn beautiful in front of her boyfriend. Okay. Okay. So Ry wasn’t her boyfriend. Still Mary Ellen wouldn’t be so attractive to him if she were a real friend. Mary Ellen did have a nerve if she thought about it.

  Ry removed the binoculars from his eyes. “You have a peculiar look on your face. What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing.” Giselle shook her head. Shame on her for thinking such things. Mary Ellen had braved the nudist den of a crazy wizard for her. Mary Ellen was a good friend and Giselle was a bad, bad friend. Second time in one night. Dammit.

  Giselle’s attention returned to the stage-like windows, one slightly obscured by a wrought iron balcony wrapping around it. A small table with a candlelit lantern at its center and a small chair beside it sat to one side of the small area. Vines emerged from potted plants scattered about and wound over t
he railing and down the side of the house. Cute but annoying since Giselle had to strain to see around the table to get a look at Kopeleski.

  He wore an old-fashioned tuxedo and had the appearance of an orchestra conductor in his tie and tails. His wild gray hair had been pinned back in what looked, in the distance, like a barrette. Who would have thought it? Kopeleski a metrosexual.

  Kopeleski spoke animatedly to Mary Ellen and Madam Divinity. Mary Ellen flirted outrageously in return, if body language was anything to go by. If she kept that up, he’d never leave her alone long enough to drop the medal. Madam Divinity’s face twisted as if she’d just tasted a lemon.

  “I wonder what they’re saying. It’s so frustrating. Hey, wait a minute.” Giselle punched a number into her cell phone and heard Mary Ellen’s phone ring across the street. She seemed to apologize to Kopeleski and Madam as she answered it.

  “Hello?”

  “Can you leave your phone on speaker mode so we can hear what’s going on in there?” Giselle asked.

  “We’ll see,” Mary Ellen said brightly. “‘Bye now.” Mary Ellen punched a button on the phone and Giselle could hear her say, “Sorry about that. My boyfriend wants to get together later.”

  “Boyfriend, eh? Maybe I can do something about changing that later,” Kopeleski said suggestively.

  Giselle decided to gag when she had more time.

  “All cell phones and pagers must be turned off,” Kopeleski announced. “We are about to begin.”

  As people milled around the table and took a chair one by one, he said, “I have asked Madam Divinity, who is a powerful medium, to attend tonight’s séance. She is particularly adept at psychometry, which, as you all know, is the ability to read from an object. Since I have obtained a military medal that originally belonged to our subject, Madam should be invaluable in assisting me to summon him forth. Our subject passed from this life to the other side two hundred and twenty-six years ago at 12:17 a.m. This morning will mark the day and time that is the anniversary of our subject’s death. It is the ideal time to attempt to summon him to our presence.”

  Kopeleski seemed to take notice of the object, or lack thereof, on the table. “The medal.” His head swiveled back and forth. “Has anyone seen the medal that was on the table?”