A Girl, a Guy, and a Ghost

by Patricia Mason

  “Hangman?”

  “Then your mother insisted on driving and I didn’t think we would ever see you again.”

  “Giselle!”

  “Yes, Ry?”

  “I’m all right. Tell my mother I’m in a payphone at a gas station near the store that has the two big elephant statues out in front. She’ll know where that is.”

  Giselle turned to Madam. “He says he’s near a store with two big elephant statues. Why couldn’t you see that with your third eye? Big elephant statues are pretty significant, wouldn’t you say? Some psychic.”

  “He’s outside, isn’t he? I told you he was outside.”

  “Well, you had a fifty-fifty shot at that one.” Giselle heard a beep through the cell. “Ry. Are you still there?” The phone had lost its signal. They’d passed outside its service area.

  Madam broke all land speed records, and no doubt many speeding laws, in getting to the two elephants and Ry. Giselle saw the statues first, side by side. She scanned left and saw Ry standing under a light pole in the gas station, looking scrumptious of course. He appeared tousled. His jeans had a few more scuffs and the black dress shirt he wore was torn. But on the whole he looked unhurt and great.

  Giselle flew out of the car before Madam had brought it to a full stop. She ran headlong to Ry despite her strappy sandals. She didn’t stop until she hit Ry-ness. And then it seemed that it was only his arms coming up around her back that kept her from burrowing out his other side. She buried her face in his chest.

  “Mrrrrrrrrwwrrrrw,” she said.

  Ry rested his on her forehead. “What?”

  “Mrrrrrwwrrrrr.”

  “I’m sure my chest is enjoying whatever it is you’re saying, but I didn’t understand a word.”

  Giselle’s head came up. She knew she revealed too much with her teary eyes and trembling lips, but she just couldn’t help it.

  “Babe. You were really afraid for me. You must kind of like me.” He grinned.

  “Oh Ry, I lo¾” She caught herself just in time. She’d almost said the bad L word dreaded by single men everywhere. “I located—” Yeah that’s was a good L word “I located you finally.”

  He regarded her with a quirk to his lips and an arch to one eyebrow.

  “But rest assured,” she went on. “I really do like you. If you’d been lost permanently, I would have been devastated for at least a whole day.”

  “Hey.” He gave her a shake.

  “Okay, maybe a week.”

  “That’s better.” He chuckled. “You’re such a brat.” Ry hugged her even tighter and she reveled in it. Maybe they could sneak off to the restroom of the gas station for a few minutes. She could use some stiff reassurance of Ry’s aliveness about now. Emphasis on stiff.

  Then the hair stood up on the back of Giselle’s neck.

  “Ry.” With a viselike grip on Giselle’s shoulder, Madam Divinity ripped her out of Ry’s arms and tossed her to the side.

  “Ow.” Giselle had to catch herself to prevent a fall to the pavement of the parking lot as she stumbled backward.

  “Ry, my darling little boy.” Madam thrust herself into Ry’s arms.

  “I’m okay, Mama,” Ry said.

  “Didn’t I tell you there was danger? I saw danger for you and there was danger, wasn’t there?”

  “Yes, Mama.”

  “Didn’t I tell you that woman was going to get you hurt?”

  Ry pushed Madam to arm’s length. “I’m not hurt and I don’t want you to call Giselle ‘that woman’.”

  “But thankfully I saved you,” Madam interrupted. “I saw your location and here we are. We would have been here sooner of course if not for the interference of…well, you know. I won’t say it out loud of deference to you but, you know.” Her head twitched in Giselle direction.

  “You’re here because I called and told you my location, Mama.”

  “Yes, but I saw you here, near the elephants.”

  Giselle couldn’t contain herself. “You so did not. You saw him outside or maybe inside.”

  Madam shook her head. “I saw Bluffton.”

  “You so did not. I made Kopeleski give up the Bluffton location. Besides, this isn’t Bluffton, its Hardeeville. I saw it on a road sign.”

  “Same thing,” Madam said.

  “It is not.” Giselle pushed the hair out of her eyes, huffing in exasperation.

  Kopeleski walked up swaggering in his kilt. “My boy.”

  Ry looked at Giselle and mouthed, My boy?

  “I’m glad you’re safe. This fake ghost hunter had snooky very upset.”

  Ry’s eyes widened at Giselle as he mouthed, Snooky?

  Kopeleski put a comforting arm around Madam’s shoulders.

  Ry leaned toward Giselle. “Snooky?” he whispered. “What did I miss?”

  “A lot, and all of it’s gross, I promise you,” Giselle whispered back. “The short version is that your mother and Mr. Wizard are what they call ‘an item’. And you don’t even want to know how I found that out. Suffice it to say that it involved the wizard wearing an afghan and—”

  “Please don’t ever tell me. It might cause me to go deaf. My eyesight’s already suffering from my exposure to Kopeleski last night.”

  “Hmmm. Leverage,” Giselle joked quietly, and Ry laughed out loud.

  “What are you two whispering about,” Madam demanded. “I think I should be included in the conversation if you’re going to be laughing.”

  Ry draped an arm over Giselle’s shoulders, and Madam glared pointedly. “I don’t think you would find it funny. Besides, if you all know where those two hulks were taking me, I think we should go there right away and check it out.”

  “I knew it. You were abducted by Ren and Field. I must be psychic.” Giselle shot a dagger-filled glance at Madam.

  Madam opened her mouth. No doubt to say something rude.

  “Besides I’m getting eaten up by mosquitoes out here.” Ry said as he smacked at one of the attacking insects.

  The thought of her little boy being in discomfort apparently persuaded Madam to forgo the insult and head back to her car. Kopeleski trotted at her heals.

  “Renfield?” Ry asked as he and Giselle followed.

  “Ren and Field are Lester’s human servants,” Kopeleski said glancing back.

  “Lester has servants named Ren and Field. Renfield?”

  “Yeah, I know,” Giselle said. “I think he’s contemplating another lawsuit. This time against Bram Stoker. I haven’t broken it to him that he’s dead. Bram, I mean. Although I guess Lester is too. But no, that’s undead. Never mind.”

  Ry chuckled and took Giselle’s hand in his. His fingers, entwined with hers, made Giselle regret reaching the car. Ry opened the back door.

  “Should we trust this guy?” he asked in a low voice, nodding toward Kopeleski.

  Giselle shrugged. “Not completely, but he did give me information on Lester under pressure. Besides your mother is his snooky.” Giselle slid onto the backseat.

  “Don’t remind me.” Ry shuddered then ducked his head down and got in back beside her.

  An argument ensued about seating arrangements. Madam wanted Ry to sit in front with her. Kopeleski didn’t want to sit in back again. And Giselle refused to sit next to Madam. Finally, they were off. At least until they again pulled to a stop at the turn from the parking lot to the highway where there was minor bickering between Madam and Kopeleski over the best way to get to Bluffton from Hardeeville.

  This led to a remark from Giselle. “See, they aren’t the same at all.”

  This garnered a glare from Madam and Kopeleski.

  “Can we go already?” Ry said impatiently.

  * * * * *

  During the drive to Bluffton, Ry explained how he had come to be with the big elephants. It seems he had been killing time by strolling around the lane behind Lester’s castle—code for snooping—while waiting for Giselle, when he noticed the garage door open—code for broke into the garage.
<
br />   At this point in the story Ry had winked at her. Yeah, he’d broken in all right.

  Ry explained that he had gone inside to chat with whoever was inside—code for entered to search the interior. There was no one around, but there in plain sight he found architectural plans—code for he pulled the plans out from under or in something.

  At that point, Ren—or perhaps Field—came into the garage and for some reason—wonder why—took exception to Ry’s presence and attacked him. He had been holding his own when Field—or maybe it was Ren—came in and the two goons muscled Ry into the trunk of their car and drove away.

  “They muscled you? What happened to your special forces training?” Madam asked.

  Special Forces? Giselle would have to find out about that later.

  “I was fighting with one when the other came in behind us. I think he used a stun gun on me. I was out for a while.”

  How dare they stun her boyfriend. If it had been a real gun, Ry would have been killed. Giselle didn’t even want to think about that. But somehow Ren and Field were going to get it.

  “Oh. You poor baby.” Giselle stroked his arm. “I’ll kiss it and make it better later,” she whispered into his ear.

  “Where is it?” Ry said.

  “Wherever you want it to be.” Giselle placed a hand on Ry’s knee and then stroked up his thigh, before giving the crotch area a little grope.

  “Don’t make us gag up here,” Madam said.

  Fortunately, once he’d regained consciousness, Ry had been able to pick the latch of the trunk open and escape, much as Giselle had. Ry had last seen Ren and Field driving deeper into South Carolina. Ry thought they’d been headed in the direction of Bluffton. It was definitely worth a look at Lester’s property there.

  It was Sunday at 10:56 p.m. Giselle had no ghost. But she did have Ry back. They’d find out what Lester was up to and then she could find another ghost. Maybe.

  * * * * *

  “Okay, where is it, Mr. Wizard?” Ry asked.

  They’d been driving around the countryside for over half an hour. Going down first one dark, rut-filled driveway then another, always reaching a dead end. This dead end appeared to be about as scenic as the rest, boasting its share of overgrown vegetation, insects, wildlife and probably snakes.

  Madam turned the engine off and the headlights of the Cadillac continued to beam into the underbrush. Red eyes glowed from beneath a bush to the right and a frightened raccoon scampered away.

  “I could have sworn this was the way.” Kopeleski scratched his head. “Maybe we took a wrong turn back there.”

  “Where? We’ve turned at least ten times since the last dead end.” Giselle leaned forward between the front seats to maximize the effect of the disgust in her voice.

  “It’s difficult to know. I’ve only been out here during the day. Everything looks different in the dark.”

  Was that it, or was Kopeleski conspiring with Lester to keep them away from the Bluffton property? Did Lester even have property in Bluffton? They only had Kopeleski as a source for that information. He could have told them anything to keep them away from where Lester’s goons had been taking Ry.

  “It seems to me that if you really are a wizard you could locate the property no matter the time of day,” Ry said.

  “Yeah. Do a locater spell or something,” Giselle said.

  Kopeleski considered it. “I could. I could. But I would need hair from Lester’s head. And it would only work correctly if Lester were on the property at the time of the spell. Otherwise, the spell might locate every place within one hundred miles that Lester has been in the last week.”

  “That’s stupid,” Giselle huffed.

  “You’re stupid,” Kopeleski countered.

  “I’m stupid? Who professes magical powers but can’t even locate a place he’s been to before?” Giselle retorted.

  “Don’t talk to him like that.” Madam turned in her seat to wag a finger at Giselle. “He has a thousand times more psychic power in his little finger than you have in your whole body.”

  That wouldn’t be hard since Giselle had none. What was a thousand times zero but zero.

  “Is he really trying?” Ry said with a snort.

  “He’s trying his best under extremely difficult circumstances. That woman—I mean Ms. Hunter—is a very disturbing psychic presence. We need to recalibrate our frequencies. You should know that.” Madam faced front again and turned the key in the ignition.

  The Cadillac’s engine flared. With no room to turn around unless she drove into the unknown muck, Madam opted to back, back, back, back toward the highway.

  “This is useless. Let’s go back to Savannah,” Ry said.

  “If we can ever find it again,” Giselle grumbled.

  “I heard that,” Madam said.

  “I meant for you to.”

  “Don’t pick on snooky.”

  “Shush it, Mr. Wizard. You’ve been not helpful enough for one night,” Giselle said.

  Madam slammed on the brakes and Giselle and Ry flew forward against their seat belts. “I’ve had about as much from you as I am going to take without rendering you bald,” Madam threatened.

  “Do your worst. I don’t think you’ve got that kind of power. I don’t think you have enough mojo to give me a haircut let alone make me bald,” Giselle said with a laugh.

  “I’ll have you know that I’m extremely powerful and dangerous when crossed.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve been warned. Can we get back to Savannah now?”

  It appeared Madam had finally reached the end of the driveway. She backed onto the highway, changed gears and shot forward.

  Giselle continued. “I’ve been warned about you before. Edward told me how mean you are. He didn’t tell me any details, but I got the impression you had done something terrible to that nice old man. He said if I were smart I wouldn’t have anything to do with you.”

  “Edward spoke to you?” Madam’s eyes met Giselle’s in the rearview mirror.

  “Snooky, watch out,” Kopeleski cried, clutching the side panel of the car with one hand and the dash with the other as the car veered off onto the rough shoulder of the rural road.

  Madam righted the car.

  The silence was palpable.

  “Ry’s Edward spoke to you?” Madam finally said.

  “Do you know more than one Edward? I’m talking about the elderly black man with a lot of gold teeth. How many Edwards do you know who would say you’re as mean as a snake?”

  Madam gasped.

  “There’s only one Edward,” Ry said dryly.

  “Incidentally, I was supposed to tell you that Edward said to come and see him. He’d like to talk to you.” Then Giselle said pointedly to Ry, “You.” Then to Madam. “Not you.”

  Ry laughed. “Edward never did want to talk to Mama.”

  “That pigheaded old man,” said Madam. “I just can’t believe you met Edward.”

  “Who’s Edward?” Kopeleski said.

  “Never mind, darling.” Madam patted her honey’s arm with one hand as she steered with the other. “What are the chances you would see Edward,” Madam said to Giselle. “Where did you see him? What else did he say?” Madam was eager now.

  “Mama,” Ry said in a low tone. “Just leave it alone. Don’t bother Edward.”

  Just then the car reached a crossroads with a sign indicating Savannah was twelve miles away. Madam turned in the direction of the arrow. Giselle opened her mouth to question Ry about Edward. Kopeleski piped in.

  “I just remembered. Lester is having a party at his house in Savannah tonight to raise money for VICTIM. Ren and Field will probably be there. I could probably get us in since I was invited. Maybe you could find out some useful information there,” he offered to Ry.

  “When is this party?” Ry asked.

  “Tonight at 11:59 p.m.”

  Giselle glanced at her watch. It was now 11:35 p.m.

  Kopeleski just remembered? Was this a setup? Was there
really a party or was Kopeleski luring them back to Lester’s house for some nefarious reason? What the heck.

  “Okay, let’s go,” Giselle said. She had nothing better to do. Might as well give the crazy vampire another chance to kill her.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Lester’s castle gave every appearance of a humdinger of a party when they arrived. Light spilled from the windows on either side of the façade like gleaming eyes in the darkness. As Madam’s car passed in front of the castle, the door opened for a line of entering partygoers. Now the jack-o-lantern face had a mouth. Music and laughter burst out and then was cut off when the door closed again.

  They rounded the corner onto a side street lined with cars, trucks and even a few RVs, making it difficult to find a place to park. Giselle observed stickers adorning the bumpers of several vehicles that proclaimed, Why are we VICTIMS? Unite and fight. It appeared that the fundraiser would be well-attended.

  “For the love of God, Mama, just park in an illegal space,” Ry growled when Madam made a turn to circle the block for the third time.

  “I don’t want another parking ticket. I’ve already had three this month.” Madam made another right turn.

  “It’s midnight. You’re not going to get a ticket,” Ry said.

  “You don’t know that. The Savannah meter maids are incredible. They can morph from nowhere the second you leave your car illegally parked. I swear that trash can over there would probably turn into one if I park in front of that hydrant.”

  A tiny blue and white vehicle, hardly noticeable except for the amber light whirling on its roof turned from a side street in front of Madam’s car and screeched to a halt. Madam swerved to go around. As they passed, a figure hopped out of the smaller vehicle and placed a white envelope on the windshield of a pickup parked in front of a hydrant.

  “See what I mean?” Madam said with a self-satisfied smirk.

  “Look.” Giselle gestured to an area about a half a block ahead where a hearse with painted flames burning from headlights to windshield was parked with one wheel on the curb.

  “I’ve seen a hearse, even one with flames painted on it,” Madam said dryly.