Casting Lacey

by Elle Spencer

  Quinn acquiesced with a nod. “Thank you.”

  “And as far as being gutless goes…I understand your fears about coming out. I had the same fears and some of mine came true. I lost my job. I lost my girlfriend. But no amount of money could put me back in the closet. It feels too good to be free of that burden, and I think once it’s done, you’ll feel the same way.”

  Quinn dropped her gaze and nodded again. “I know. I keep telling myself everything will be fine.”

  “Quinn, I’m here for you. You don’t have to keep quiet. You don’t have to be strong. Tell me what you’re feeling so I can help.”

  Quinn blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. “I don’t want this sterile life I’ve created for myself anymore. It’s safe, but it’s lonely. And I don’t want you to be used by that woman again. You’re too…special.”

  Lacey pushed off the car and walked over to Quinn, kicking the dirty shoes aside with her foot. “We should hug this out.”

  Quinn tried to hold in her laughter, but it came bursting out in a stifled giggle. She opened her arms and Lacey fell into them. They stayed like that for several seconds, Quinn resting her head on Lacey’s shoulder. “You’re the best and most frustrating friend I’ve ever had.”

  “You too,” Lacey whispered. She didn’t want to let go. Having Quinn’s arms wrapped around her waist felt so good and so right. But Quinn had been clear – they would never take this beyond friendship, and in those moments when she thought Quinn was maybe softening her stance, she would put her walls back up and keep Lacey at arm’s length again.

  Lacey sighed. “Just so you know, you’re driving tonight so I can get drunk.” She pulled away and held up her phone. “Oh, and your mother sent me a text. She loved the first kiss scene.”

  Quinn’s eyes widened. “She…texted you?”

  “Yeah. She does it quite often. She gives me advice on how to handle you. Tells me embarrassing things about your childhood.” Lacey noticed Quinn’s chest fill with air so she took a few steps back. “Like when you…” She screamed and bolted out of the garage with Quinn right behind her, grabbing for the phone. She made it to the side gate but couldn’t punch in the code fast enough.

  “Give me that phone.” Quinn pinned her against the gate, using her full body weight.

  “Oooh, that’s nice. I can feel your tits.” Lacey tried to slide the phone into her panties, but she missed and it slid through her shorts and hit the ground.

  “AHA!” Quinn picked it up and ran back into the garage. She quickly hit the garage door button and shut the door before Lacey could get in. She sat on a bench and found her mother’s name in Lacey’s phone. She managed to scroll through most of the messages before Lacey ran in through the inner door. There wasn’t anything too embarrassing. Only the kindest words she’d ever seen from her mother, and extremely flattering comments back from Lacey. Things like:

  You’re a beautiful couple on screen and off. Did you know Quinn eloped when she married what’s his name? Quinn snorted. Her mother hated Greer. She called him a ‘ruffian’ because he always had a scruffy beard when he wasn’t shooting a movie. Quinn absently rubbed her upper lip just thinking about it. She hated that beard too.

  No, I didn’t know that, Lacey had replied.

  It was a terrible day for me. A mother needs a wedding, Lacey. And a grandchild. Do you like children?

  I love children. And weddings.

  “Hand it over.”

  Quinn looked up at Lacey, standing there with her hand out. She gently set the phone in her hand. Lacey looked at the screen and then put it in her pocket. “Just telling her what she wants to hear.”

  “Of course,” Quinn quietly replied. She stood up as Lacey walked away. “You don’t really strike me as the type, but thank you for perpetuating the myth.”

  “What type?” Lacey stood at the door, waiting.

  “Children.”

  Lacey had a number in mind. Since she was seven years old, she’d talked about having two kids, a boy and a girl. She’d name the girl after her mother and the boy after her grandfather. When she realized she was gay, she’d let the dream go for a while and set her sights on other goals, like her education and her acting career. But that little girl and boy still lived in her heart.

  “No, you’re right. I’m not the type.” Lacey opened the door and mumbled, “And weddings are a big waste of money.”

  ***

  Their outfits were laid out on the bed. After rifling through Quinn’s closet for half an hour, Lacey had decided on neutral colors for both of them. Quinn would wear black, low-waisted trousers and a sleeveless black blouse with black heels. Lacey would wear a black plaid mini skirt with a loose, white blouse and black metallic heels that strapped at the ankle. The heel was dangerously high, but Lacey had discovered the word “Manolo” solved all of her high-heel hang-ups.

  Quinn came out of the bathroom and raised an eyebrow as she looked at the choices. “Are you sure? I thought maybe you’d want to wear that concoction you came up with when you visited me in the hospital that day. What was it again?” Quinn tapped her chin as she stared at the ceiling. “Oh, yeah. A mom skirt and hideous sandals with a top you’d stolen from my closet.”

  Lacey put her hands on her hips. “Are you done? Because I chose these without the help of your stylist.”

  Quinn grinned and put her hand on Lacey’s back, gently rubbing up and down. “You’ve come so far, little grasshopper. I’m so proud.”

  “So…you like them?”

  “I love them.”

  “Okay, but you better be sure because the photo of ‘The Day Quinn Kincaid Came Out’ is about to be everywhere.” Lacey used finger quotes.

  “That’s a good point.” Quinn looked at the choices more carefully.

  “I tried to go with something timeless. Twenty years from now you don’t want the Gay History Month lesson plan to have a photo of you with shoulder pads.”

  Quinn smirked. “Gay History Month, Lace?”

  “Yeah, it’s where kids who never knew that gay people were hated, learn about Stonewall and Harvey Milk and the inventor of flattering light.” Lacey grabbed her clothes and boots but didn’t walk away. She stood there, looking pensive.

  “What’s wrong?” Quinn asked.

  “This is it. This is the finish line, right? Goal achieved. Like when you read the last line of a book and you’re so sad it’s over.”

  “Except, I’m not sad.” Quinn had thought about Lacey’s words while she showered. She was right, there would be no going back in the closet. No chickening out at the last minute. This was the first day of her new-found freedom and she was ready to embrace it. “I’m happy. And I’m gay, and pretty soon the whole world will know it.” She took Lacey’s hand and gently squeezed it. “I can’t thank you enough for being willing to help me get to this point.”

  “Getting you to this point was my job. And now, it’s up to you to let me know when you’re safe and sound, because I’d like to get on with my life too.”

  Quinn slowly nodded her agreement. Hurt flashed across her eyes and then disappeared. “I know. And I will.” She wasn’t sure what Lacey was trying to say. Was she ready to move out as soon as possible? She forced a smile. “Let’s do this.”

  ***

  Lacey looked around as Quinn pulled into a parking spot. “This, is it?”

  Quinn pointed across the street at the Starbucks where they’d first met. “I thought we could get a coffee first.”

  “Aww…are you going to get all sappy on me, tonight? Because it just might make me cry.” It wasn’t sarcasm. Lacey had been feeling emotional all day. The conversation they’d had earlier about children hadn’t helped. It got Lacey thinking about her future. She’d put off some pretty important things and that needed to change. Right now, the last thing she needed was a walk down memory lane.

  Quinn turned in her seat so she was facing Lacey. “I’ve never told you this, but I sat right here with Jack and watch
ed you that day, trying to decide if I should introduce myself, and two things were running through my head. First, that Jack is an idiot who talks me into the most ridiculous plans.”

  “That’s true,” Lacey said, nodding her agreement. She turned and met Quinn’s gaze. “What was the second thing?”

  “That you were so pretty. And the longer I looked at you, the smarter Jack’s idea became.”

  Lacey’s heart soared with happiness, and then sank a little bit as the memories came flooding back. “I’m so glad you could see past my horrible attitude. I was such a bitch to you that day.”

  “A hot mess from day one.” Quinn’s eyes fell to Lacey’s lips. She leaned in slightly and then pulled back. “Let’s go.”

  ***

  Quinn waited at the same patio table where they’d first met while Lacey ordered coffee. She wanted tonight to be special – their last night out in public before they’d be hounded relentlessly by the paparazzi.

  Like Lacey had said, this was it. Tomorrow, everything would be different. Quinn wouldn’t in fact be officially out, and she didn’t plan on confirming anything immediately, but the whole world would know she and Lacey, her friend and co-star, were so much more than that now.

  As she kept her eyes on her phone, hoping no one would notice her sitting there all alone, her lips curled up at the thought of it. Lovers. The world will think we’re lovers.

  Even with all of her fears about coming out, and all of her mixed-up emotions when it came to Lacey – even with all of that, having the whole world believe she was making love to that woman on the regular – well, that gave Quinn a thrill that almost made up for all the other stuff.

  “Quinn Kincaid, right?”

  A girl who looked to be in her early twenties crouched down next to Quinn’s chair. “Yes?”

  “Nikki Ballard.” The girl offered her hand. “I’m a huge fan. Ever since Selena came on the show, I’ve watched it religiously.”

  Quinn smiled. “Ah. So, you’d watched Lacey on Light of Day?”

  “No, just your show. I’ve always loved it, but now I’m just so grateful, you know?”

  Quinn gave her a nod, not really sure exactly what this stranger was saying.

  “For what you’re doing,” Nikki added. “People think having a few lesbian characters on cable is enough, but it’s not. A lot of us have families who don’t accept us, but they accept you. When you take a chance on creating a normal, successful gay character, you make my life easier. So, thank you.”

  Lacey walked up behind them, holding two cups. Quinn’s tummy did a summersault the second she saw her. Lacey looked so beautiful, and at least for that night, she was Quinn’s date. Only hers. All hers. She was speechless for a second as their eyes met. “Um…Nikki, this is Lacey Matthews.”

  Nikki stood up and whipped her head around. “Oh my god! Both of you are here?” She said it loud enough that a few people turned to look.

  “Nice to meet you, Nikki.” Lacey eyed the cameras that were coming out of purses and pockets. She gestured with her head. “We should go.”

  Quinn also saw what was happening around them. “Yeah.” She stood up and took one of the cups from Lacey’s hand. “Keep watching the show, Nikki. I think you’ll like what happens.”

  “Oh, I will!” As they walked away, Nikki shouted, “You’re both awesome!”

  Lacey looked back and smiled at Nikki as she followed Quinn out. “She’s cute. She has that hot, baby dyke thing going on.”

  “She’s too young for you,” Quinn whispered.

  “No, she’s not. She’s probably Dani’s age.”

  They got out onto the sidewalk and Quinn stopped. “Whoa. Wait a minute. Just how old is Denise again?”

  “Dani, Quinn. And she’s 25. You know that.” Lacey took her by the arm. “You also know her name, but nice try. Now, keep walking.”

  “No, Lacey, I did not know that. I knew she was in school, but I just assumed she was either getting a doctorate or…more likely… that she’s kinda dumb and on a 20-year plan.”

  “Well, you’re right about the first part. She just started working on her Ph.D.”

  “Oh good. Maybe we can take her to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate!” Quinn honestly had no idea Lacey had been in a relationship with someone so young. Well, she was only five years younger than Lacey, but 13 years younger than Quinn. 13?? She suddenly felt very old.

  “You’re an asshole, you know that?” Lacey mumbled under her breath.

  “So are you. Now, let’s go show the world what a delightful couple we make.”

  ***

  Once they were back in the car, Quinn turned to Lacey. “All kidding aside, have I told you how beautiful you look tonight? That skirt is just…” She caressed Lacey’s thigh with her finger. “And with those heels? My god.”

  Lacey’s eyes tracked Quinn’s finger as it made a small circle on her leg, giving her shivers. She wanted to say something sarcastic but her mind was blank. “I’m glad you like it,” was all she could manage. She took a sip of her coffee and looked out the window, trying to ignore the goosebumps that were popping up all over her body. “Big night,” she said under her breath.

  “What’s that?”

  “Oh…I just said…it’s a big night.” Lacey’s leg started bouncing.

  “Am I making you nervous?

  “A little.” She took another sip of her coffee.

  “Look at me.”

  Lacey shook her head. “No.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever once seen you nervous. You’re always in control.”

  Then, you haven’t been paying attention, Quinn. Lacey put her drink in the holder and got out of the car. Needing space, she folded her arms and paced behind the car. Quinn also got out and stood there with her arm on the door. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

  “Why are you doing this?” Lacey asked, pain evident in her expression. “Why are you making it harder? Usually, you look at me like you want to devour me and then you get all pissed off about it and go pout in the corner. THAT, I can handle.”

  She’d seen the looks. Ever since they’d filmed the love scene, Quinn would sometimes get a look in her eye. Lacey recognized it for what it was – straight up lust. She’d had a taste of a woman and she wanted more. Only problem was, she’d get mad about it and start cleaning the house with a vengeance. The house didn’t need cleaning. Vera took care of that now.

  Quinn walked over to Lacey and took her hand. She led her back to the car and opened her door, effectively trapping her as she put one arm on the roof and the other on the door. “I want to tell you a thousand times a day how beautiful you are, but I don’t because we have to maintain a certain…and Dani…you know…it’s difficult…we’re in a difficult place…being on the show together…and…”

  “That’s a long-winded way of saying we will never fuck. Oh, fuck,” Lacey’s eyes scanned the small crowd that had gathered on the sidewalk, along with a telephoto lens sticking out of a car window in front of Starbucks, pointed right at them. “Don’t turn around. There’s a camera on us.”

  Quinn visibly stiffened.

  “Don’t move.” Lacey looked at Quinn, then the camera, then back at Quinn again. If she positioned the two of them just right, they could call it a day. That sounded pretty good right about now. “Do you want to get this over with?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Right now. I could kiss you right now. We don’t have to wait until tonight.”

  Quinn took a step closer, her demeanor softening. “Do it.” She took her bottom lip into her mouth to moisten it and slowly let it back out, keeping her eyes locked on Lacey’s.

  Good god. Seriously, Quinn? Lacey slid her arm around Quinn’s waist, pulling her in a little more roughly than she’d intended. She slid her hand down a little bit so it rested just below the waistband of Quinn’s pants. She waited a few seconds so the camera could get a good shot of the pose. Then she turned them slightly, smiling at Quinn the wh
ole time, giving the cameras a better side view. Then, she leaned in and let their noses touch first.

  “You’re good at this,” Quinn whispered.

  Lacey turned slightly, so Quinn’s back was to the cameras again. She ran her hands down Quinn’s lower back, letting her fingers barely slide into the back pockets of her jeans and leaned in so their lips touched, but she didn’t actually kiss Quinn. She lingered for a few seconds and then kissed her cheek. “That should do it,” she said, letting go and getting back in the car.

  Quinn stood there frozen for a second, staring straight ahead. Probably stunned by what just didn’t happen. She expected to be kissed. Her confusion, if that’s what it was, was understandable. She closed Lacey’s door, keeping her eyes down as she walked to her side of the car.

  Lacey glanced back at the photographer as Quinn drove away. “I’m good with takeout if you just want to go home.”

  “But you look so cute,” Quinn said. “We can’t let that go to waste.”

  “I wore it for you and you’re welcome to take it off of me tonight. Fuck me the way you never planned to, but desperately want to, if you’re honest with yourself.” It felt good to say it out loud – what she knew Quinn had been thinking.

  “After that lame ass kiss back there? What the hell was that?”

  Lacey tried not to smile. “You don’t deserve my kisses.”

  Quinn gasped, her mouth hanging open. “You just offered to let me fuck you!”

  “That’s because I know you never will,” Lacey calmly replied. “But you don’t get to kiss me and then leave me hanging. That’s just bitchy.”

  Quinn stopped at the red light and stared at Lacey. “Hot. Mess.”

  Lacey shrugged. “I changed my mind. I want dinner in a fancy restaurant tonight. Preferably one with oysters if it isn’t asking too fucking much.”

  “It’s not,” Quinn said, looking contrite. “And I’m sorry I haven’t made that happen for you. I should’ve taken you out more.” She reached over the center console as the light turned green. “Hold my hand.”