Voices of the Apocalypse: The Collection

by Simone Pond

  “Mornin’ Tiger. Lookin’ good for an old fart.” Jimmy Two Toes said the same thing every time Tiger walked into the cafe, donning his impeccable XL three-piece suit. He wasn’t about to let the circumstances affect his sense of style.

  Jimmy Two Toes had been working for Tiger for the last ten years, doing odds and ends for his business. Though he was the ripe age for the army, he had been passed over due to a bum foot and a glass eye––the result of one of his errands gone wrong. Tiger felt guilty about the mishap and hired him to pour coffee and keep watch.

  “Ain’t too old to whoop your culo, Jimmy,” Tiger said.

  He never called him by his nickname, out of respect. He leaned on the counter and waited for his coffee to be poured. Jimmy Two Toes might’ve been a little damaged, but he sure could make a good cup of Joe.

  “Got you a cannoli from Donna’s.” Jimmy slid over a plate containing the decadent pastry with creamy white filling cascading from both sides.

  “You’re a good egg, Jimmy. A good egg.”

  Tiger sat at his favorite table in the back of the cafe, facing the entrance. Nobody in Little Italy sat with their back to the door, unless they were a chooch. He sipped his piping hot coffee and bit into the cream-filled cannoli, and for a few peaceful moments, he felt completely satisfied. As though nothing had changed in the old neighborhood. When he gazed out the windows he knew better. The empty trash-ridden streets, the lack of delivery trucks, and barren fruit stands told another story. One that broke his heart. He was about take another bite of his cannoli when Donna came bursting through the front door.

  He jumped up and instinctively pulled out his piece, aiming at Donna. Once he realized there was no threat, he tucked the gun back into his holster. “Sorry ‘bout that, Donna. But you can’t be running up in here like that.” He motioned for her to sit down.

  “Tiga! Tiga! You gotta help me. They’re breakin’ everything. All my supplies. The bastards are gonna burn down the shop!” Donna’s thick Bronx accent filled the entire café as she ran toward Tiger’s table in the back.

  “Abasta! They’re takin’ down my great-grandmother’s bakery . . . Why, Tiga? Why?” She cried into her hands while Tiger rubbed her back. The old broad still had a shape on her, one that Tiger had been admiring since he was a young gun.

  “It’s okay, D. It’s gonna be okay. I promise.” He tried to console her, but she was past the point of taking it easy.

  “Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.” Her big brown eyes pulled him in, and he knew she wasn’t just talking about their present circumstances.

  Years ago he had promised he’d get her out of her horrible marriage and take her in, but he never got around to it. And the years kept going by and then her husband died. Tiger was no longer sure about his place in the relationship. But he loved Donna. He always would.

  “I’m sorry,” he mumbled under his breath. He looked over to Jimmy Two Toes, who stood behind the counter, staring out into the street with his one good eye. “Jimmy, get Miss Donna a cup of coffee.”

  “Sure thing, boss. Sure thing.” He scurried around and rushed over with a cup of black coffee and some creamer.

  “What’s goin’ on out there?” Tiger asked Jimmy.

  “Doesn’t look good. They gots some big wrecking ball thing bustin’ up buildings down the street. Looks like they’re making their way down the avenue, boss.”

  “Friggin’ bastards.” Donna sobbed some more.

  Tiger handed her his handkerchief and she blew her nose loudly into it.

  “We gotta get the boys down here,” Tiger said.

  Jimmy’s good eye lit up and he nodded with the enthusiasm of teenager getting ready for a rumble. “I’m on it, boss. Be right back.” Jimmy grabbed the shotgun from under the counter and limped out of the café as fast as his bum leg would carry him.

  “Whatcha plannin’ to do, Tiga?”

  “We’re gonna stand up to these baccalas is what we’re gonna do.”

  Tiger drank the rest of his coffee and took one last bite of his cannoli, savoring every flakey morsel. It’d be a long time before he’d be eating any pastries. He wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin, stood up, and helped Donna out of her chair. Placing his thick arm around her shoulder, he escorted her to the small office, where there were piles of bills and unopened letters stacked on the desk.

  “You really shoulda had someone takin’ betta care of this stuff.” Donna compulsively started putting the paperwork into neat piles.

  “For what? It’s beaten to shit. Pointless. All of it. You know this café’s been in my family for almost a hundred years. My great-great grandfather Pete Tiano, God rest his soul, came over on one of the boats; he swept streets until he saved up enough to open this cafe. And now look at what the prick bastards have done. Destroyed our neighborhood. Our history.”

  “I hear ya, Tiga. It’s a cryin’ shame. Most of the families are long gone. Who even knows if they’re still alive? It’s a mess.” Donna wept into Tiger’s handkerchief while he rubbed her shoulders some more.

  “I’m gonna make it right,” he told her.

  “Who, you? A washed up capo regio?”

  “That hurts, D. Can’t we be nice?”

  “You shoulda been nice years ago.” Donna narrowed her eyes.

  Tiger forced a smile and kissed her round cheek. “I shoulda. I was mixed up. But I’m gonna set things straight with us. We might be a bit older, but we still got some life let in us.” He held her face in his big hands and planted a kiss on her lips.

  The office door opened and Jimmy Two Toes entered with Frankie the Fox, Sammy One Punch, Vick the Bug, and Big Al. The crew of old gangsters looked more like a retirees on their way to Florida than mafia men. Their high-waisted polyester pants and short sleeve shirts stretched over their round bellies. Tiger chuckled to himself. How would these bums be able to stand up to anything, let alone an apocalypse?

  Sammy One Punch slapped Tiger’s back. “Tiga, Tiga, Tiga . . . You always had de worst timin’. Think it’s a little late to finally be making a move?” He laughed, then bowed to Donna. “Good to see ya, Miss Bella. Sorry ‘bout your shop.”

  “Ah, Sammy, the friggin’ Worms. They’re ruinin’ anythin’ that means somethin’.”

  Sammy nodded, patting her shoulder. “They got no respect. These Worms gotta be squished. Ain’t dat right, fellas?”

  “I didn’t work my whole life just to have some mooks swoop in and screw it up,” Big Al shouted.

  “That’s right. If they want us gone, we’re gonna make ‘em work for it,” Tiger told the men.

  Vick the Bug stepped to the front of the pack, unzipping his black velour track jacket. “Tiga, I stood by you my whole life and I’ll be here till the end.”

  The others nodded and patted their gun holsters.

  “We gotta do somethin’ big. A few handguns ain’t gonna do shit. Come on, follow me.” Tiger removed his suit jacket and vest, then motioned for Jimmy Two Toes to help him move one of the metal cabinets, revealing a small door.

  “What the hell’s that?” Big Al asked.

  “It’s a supply room,” Tiger said.

  “How comes we ain’t never heard ‘bout no supply room?” Sammy One Punch cocked his baldhead.

  “Cuz we ain’t never needed it before now,” Tiger said.

  Worry lines creased Donna’s forehead. “What’s in there, Tiga?”

  “The big guns.” He laughed.

  “I like the sound of that, but who’s getting through the door? Gonna send in Big Al?” Sammy One Punch laughed, slapping Big Al’s huge stomach.

  The others chuckled, except for Big Al, who shoved Sammy One Punch up against the wall.

  “Quit breakin’ my balls!” Big Al shouted.

  “Sammy’s always gotta be startin’ trouble.” Vick the Bug smacked the back of Sammy One Punch’s head.

  “Ah, forget-about-it.” Sammy One Punch held up his fist. Back in the day, that would’ve been considered a threat
. He could take out any contenders in just one punch, but not so much any more with the arthritis.

  “Fellas, fellas. Just listen.” Tiger stood up. “Seeing how Jimmy’s gotta little spring left in his step, he’ll go inside and get the stuff. You good, Jimmy?”

  “Sure thing, boss.” He stepped up to the small door.

  Tiger bent down with a grunt, spinning the combination lock until it clicked. He tugged at the door handle and it popped open with a thud. A musty scent of stale air drifted into the office.

  “When’s the last time the door was opened?” Frankie the Fox waved his hand across his face.

  “About twenty-six years ago. Right after 9/11.” Tigerpeered into the dank room. “Get me a light,” he ordered.

  “I got a flashlight app on my phone, boss,” Jimmy Two Toes spoke up.

  “You still gotta phone?” Tiger was surprised. They’d been defunct for over a year.

  “I use it for the flashlight app. They turned off the lights in my building a while back. Charge the batteries at the café.” Jimmy Two Toes turned on the flashlight and handed the phone to Tiger.

  Tiger looked through the doorway into the storage room. He motioned for Jimmy Two Toes to join him.

  “Okay, kid, once you’re inside, you’ll be able to stand up. Check the back wall, that’s where you’ll find the stuff. You grab everything you can and start bringing it out here.”

  “You got it, boss.” Jimmy Two Toes scrunched through the door and disappeared into the dark room.

  “You see the back wall?” Tiger yelled through the door.

  “Whoa, boss. You got a lotta metal up in here,” Jimmy’s muffled voice came into the office.

  Tiger stood up and brushed off his slacks. Frankie the Fox pulled out a chair for him to sit down. Donna dabbed his sweaty forehead with her used handkerchief.

  “Yous a good fella, Tiga,” she whispered into his ear.

  Tiger smiled, pulled her down onto his big lap,and hugged her close. Nice to know he could still feel the thrill. He squeezed her against his sturdy chest and she let out a giggle. The others waited while Jimmy Two Toes started passing the arsenal through the small door into the office. Machine guns stacked up, along with grenades, a few rocket launchers, shotguns, and heaping boxes of ammo.

  “Listen to me, Donna.When we go out there, I want you to get into the supply room and wait till the coast is clear. You hear me, D?”

  Donna shot up. “Absolutely not. You think I’m gonna wait in the dark while the rest of yuns get popped? We’re in dis togetha.”

  Tiger laughed at the spitfire. “You ever fire a gun?”

  She shook her head.

  “It ain’t safe out there for a lady,” Tiger said.

  Sammy One Punch started cackling.

  Donna thrust out her chest. “What’s so funny?”

  “She ain’t no lady.” He laughed, then immediately shut his mouth when Tiger stood up.

  “What’d ya say?” Tiger pushed Sammy One Punch against the wall, pressing his forearm against his throat.

  “Just tryin’ to lighten things up a bit, paesano. Forget-about-it!”

  “Tiga, stop. Please.” Donna tried to pry the men apart. “Sammy’s just jealous ‘cause I never liked his scrawny culo. You boys need to stick togetha. Conserve ya energy for the real bad guys, okay?”

  Tiger backed off and slapped Sammy One Punch’s sunken-in cheek. “You keep that filthy mouth of yours shut, Sammy. Next time, it ain’t gonna be my arm in your throat.”

  “I was just messin’ around.” Sammy One Punch coughed, rubbing his neck.

  After about twenty minutes in the cellar, Jimmy Two Toes had pulled out enough weaponry to take down an army. He crawled out through the door, smiling at Tiger.

  “You did good, kid.”

  “What’s the plan, boss?” he asked.

  Tiger studied the massive pile of guns and ammo. He took a couple of machine guns from the stack and slung them over his broad shoulders. Then he picked up a few loaded clips and tucked them into his pockets. The last thing he grabbed was one of the rocket launchers.

  “Load up,” he said.

  The men walked over to the heap of weapons and began arming themselves. Jimmy Two Toes filled a duffle bag. Donna stood back and watched the men scrambling around, her big brown eyes bugging out.

  “You gotta a lotta loot, Tiga,” she whispered.

  “Better suit up,” he ordered Donna.

  The last thing he wanted was the long-time love of his life walking into the shit storm happening on his beloved Arthur Avenue, but he knew she wouldn’t stay behind.

  She bent down and carefully picked through the guns, holding out a shotgun.“This looks good.”

  “That’d knock you on your ass.” Vick the Bug took the shotgun and handed her two smaller pistols, a box of bullets, and a couple of grenades to slip into the pockets of her dark blue cardigan. She looked out of place, still wearing her chocolate-stained apron over her cotton dress, holding the two pistols like they were vermin she had picked up off the floor.

  “You sure about this, D?” Tiger asked.

  “I don’t wanna be left behind. If they take out you boys, I’ll be all alone. I’d rather go down fightin’ with you.”

  “That’s my girl,” Tiger said, patting her shoulder. Though he wished she would stay behind.

  A blast shot through the front of the café, shaking the entire building. The men swayed, holding onto each other to keep from falling down.

  Tiger stood in front of the pack of retired goombas. “Let’s go!” he shouted.

  He barreled through the office door out into the cafe, the guys and Donna following. The front window had been blown to bits and a black skid mark covered the checkered floor. Another blast shot into the cafe, shattering his great-great grandmother’s China that had been placed neatly on the shelves behind the counter. Tiger felt like someone had ripped out his intestines. His place was destroyed.

  “Let’s go around back!” he yelled to the group.

  Just outside the back door, Tiger pointed to the fire escape. Jimmy Two Toes pulled down the rickety metal ladder and helped the older men get up to the first rungs.

  “Gotta get to these bastards before they take down the building,” Donna shouted, as she wobbled up the ladder.

  Tiger, Jimmy Two Toes, and Frankie the Fox scampered across the roof and peered over the brick wall to assess the situation below. Donna, Vick the Bug, and Sammy One Punch stayed next to the fire escape to assist Big Al, who was lumbering up the ladder, huffing and puffing. More explosions came from the building next door, obliterating the tailor shop Tiger had been going to since he was a boy. Jimmy Two Toes pressed binoculars to his one good eye and scoped out the avenue.

  “There’s a tank heading this way. They got about six men on the ground. I say we take them out first, then deal with the tank.” He pointed to the rocket launcher by Tiger’s side.

  “Good idea, kid.”

  Tiger called the others over to the wall, and they ducked low, staying pressed against the bricks.

  “I’m scared, Tiga,” Donna said.

  “We need to take out the guys on the ground first. Then we’ll go after that tank. You ready?”

  The men nodded, but Donna got spooked and started scooting backward to the fire escape. “I wanna go back, Tiga!”

  “D, get out of the open. You’re gonna get hit––” Tiger yelled, just as a fusillade of bullets pummeled across her chest. Her big brown eyes widened as she crumbled, reaching her pudgy arms toward Tiger.

  “D!” he screamed.

  He started to run toward her, but Jimmy Two Toes grabbed his arm and held him back. “It’s too late, boss. Gotta focus.”

  Tiger watched as Donna, the love of his life, tried to crawl to him, tears streaming down her cheeks. She stopped and rolled unto her side. Lifting her blood-covered hand up to her mouth, she blew a kiss to Tiger before she closed her eyes for good.

  The pain punched his gut,
and he could taste revenge on his lips. He panned over the buildings, trying to figure out where the bullets had come from. He noticed two men standing by a window in the clapped out tenement across the way. He aimed his machine gun and fired.

  “Save your bullets, Tiga.” Vick the Bug pulled him back down by the wall.

  Big Al was still by the fire escape, heaving from the climb. He had set up a rocket launcher and aimed it at the building. “Forget-about-it!” He yelled as he fired the missile. Bricks, dust and pieces of furniture scattered to the ground, along with one of the Worms.

  “Got one of the prick bastards!” Big Al yelled out gleefully. He lifted his arm in victory just as a bullet planted into the middle of his forehead. His large body jerked with the impact and he toppled over the side of the building, dropping to the ground.

  “We got two down!” Tiger shouted to the fellas.

  Jimmy Two Toes stood up and spiked a grenade into the apartment across the street, where a couple more Worms had been stationed.The place lit up like the Fourth of July.

  Tiger leaned over the side of the building and shot at some of the Worms as they tried to take cover in an abandoned shop. He nailed one in the shoulder and the man fell to the curb, splitting open his skull. Tiger fired more rounds to make sure he didn’t get back up. He looked at the fellas. Sammy One Punch crouched low, gripping a 9mm in each hand. Frankie the Fox scurried to set up another rocket launcher. Vick the Bug reloaded his machine gun.