Fairground Attraction

by Raven McAllan

  “We’re on the radio.” Phil chuckled after the first few bars sounded loud in the room. “We should play this more often over the rides, it’s a good one. I wonder who wants to know all about an older woman and a younger man, eh?” He looked meaningfully at Raig, who ignored him, his suspicions of Cracking Carry C increasing every minute.

  Jonny snorted. “I seem to know someone who sort of might have some answers there, eh, Raig?’

  Raig shrugged. “Bad grammar, Joh, very bad. Your ma would ask where all that education went.” He laughed and ducked Jonny’s swat in his direction. “I’ve no idea, but it’ll be interesting to hear the replies, eh? Anyone want a refill?” Anything to get a few seconds alone so he could adjust his boner and regulate his breathing.

  As he stood, the voice on the radio intruded. “Well, now lots of emails coming in. First, we’ll have this request, then we’ll have a chat.” The voice dropped slightly, becoming full of intrigue and desire. “So, this is for a rake—Takin’ Care of Business.”

  Chapter Six

  “Oh, Raig, was she saying that for you?” Jonny teased. “I wonder what business is being taken care of.”

  Raig shook his head in amusement. “Who’d want to play a request for me? Though with a voice like that, I hope it’s her.” And I hope she’s who I think she is.

  “Probably looks nothing like her voice suggests,” Phil offered. “Ninety, saggy boobs and a cat called Maude. Smells of mothballs and mint imperials.”

  Raig took the lifeline. “More than likely.” He finished his beer in one mouthful. “Right, I’m off. Enjoy the rest of your beer. Late start tomorrow. I’ll see you around four, Phil. Ring if you need me. Jonny, before you ask, yes, you can work tomorrow if you feel up to it.” With a brief good night, he left the other two. Even before the trailer door had swung shut behind him, he had his phone out of his pocket and the radio app switched on. He headed across the fairground, nodding to the ever-present security staff he passed. Out here the voice was less clear and more distorted, but even so, he would bet his last thousand he had heard it not twenty-four hours earlier. Those same husky tones drugged with passion and shouting his name, screaming in ecstasy as excitement and sexual satiation overwhelmed its owner.

  “So, keep those emails coming in,” the tinny voice said throatily. “Lots of you have enjoyed the fair. Kelly says it brings out the child in all of us. Although she’s no longer sick through eating too much candy floss and doughnuts. Morag says she and her boyfriend enjoyed the rides. I must say I really enjoyed the ride I had.”

  Raig sputtered. Surely others must pick up on the innuendo. It had to be Vairi. As soon as he reached his trailer, he turned on his digital radio and headed for his laptop. Carry C was due another email. He was sure this one would not be read out. Raig would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when she’d read it. Brief and succinct—

  You can ride me anytime. Older women—well, one older woman—rules. Remember, you are only as old as (what/who) you feel.

  He poured himself a dram of the fine single malt he treated himself to every time he headed north of the border and added the correct amount of water while he waited to discover what would happen next. It wasn’t long before he found out.

  “Well, peeps, here’s some very interesting comments. A lot of emails tonight, and some requests. Some possible, alas, some not. One particularly was very helpful for my friend. Raig, thank you for your advice, I’ll be sure to make sure she listens to it. Raig says older women rule, and we are only as old as we feel. That’s very reassuring. And he’s offered to take me for a ride. That’s nice.” Her voice was deliberately bland. “So is this next track. It’s Human by The Killers. All the oldies tonight, as I’m in a mellow mood. It’s dance around the radio time.”

  Raig spluttered whisky as he laughed out loud. How wrong could a bloke be? Damn if he wasn’t enjoying this. He wondered if the emails were making her blush, or hot and bothered. He planned for it to be the latter. This email was short and to the point—

  I’d rather feel you.

  It was followed seconds later by another.

  On another note, do you like pancakes?

  He wandered around the trailer, unable to settle. Whether Carry C—Vairi—was hot and bothered or not, he was.

  “Oh, now I so love that track. Great for exercising to.”

  Oh shit. Now all he could think about was Vairi’s gorgeous breasts jiggling about as she bounced to that song.

  “So,” the honey-toned voice continued. “Let’s read some more of these emails. Stevie, my producer, was just saying what a lot of interest my older woman query has generated. He and Andie are reading them as fast as they can, but I doubt we’ll get through them all. However, Darren says his wife is eleven years older than him, and he loves her more each day. Way to go, Darren. Jenny and Clive say as long as its legal, it’s fine. Oh ho, Mary says no older woman wants to be bothered with a younger bloke. Well, all I can say there, Mary, is sorry, but it looks like you’re wrong, judging by the bulk of the emails.” She laughed and that throaty sound went straight to Raig’s cock and into his balls. ‘All wound up and raring to go’ was an understatement.

  “Now, on the subject of super injunctions, Alex emailed to say ‘why should you be allowed to be naughty and not get talked about just because you are rich? Don’t we live in a democracy, freedom of speech and all that? If I cheated and got found out, all my friends, neighbors, and colleagues would know’,” Carry C said. “Well, he’s got a point there. One that a lot of you agree with. So we should be thanking The Irishman and his investigating, eh? I think we could keep tonight’s subjects rolling for longer than we’ve got. However, it’s time for some more music.”

  Ah, he hadn’t thought about others reading the messages. With an inward smirk, he composed his next one. To her producer.

  Hope you are enjoying these as much as we are. Please remind Vairi not to forget the maple syrup.

  There, that should give this Stevie guy something to talk about. And it seemed her. Way to go, Vairi, he thought as he listened to her reply.

  “Ah, I’ve just been reminded I’m making pancakes tomorrow.” He could hear amusement in her voice. “I’ve got to remember the maple syrup. Now I ask you, who wouldn’t already have a jar in the pantry? Well, unless you’re a sugar and lemon or chocolate spread person. Me? I just love chocolate spread all over.” The voice dripped with suggestion. “So, toppings. What’s your favorite? Drop us an email and let us know. Stevie likes coffee over anything. He must do, he’s just choked and sprayed it everywhere. Andie says chocolate every time. Preferably chocolate orange. Mmm, now there’s a thought. Let’s hear from you. Favorite toppings and older—or younger—men. Not necessarily together. Let’s have your views. Now here’s Shaz Doley, a lovely local girl, who I predict will be big with Mind Over Matter.”

  Her innuendos brought tears to his eyes. Never before had he sat by himself and laughed until he cried and his ribs hurt. Time for a few ‘her eyes only’ messages. He hoped she would appreciate them. Thank god they’d exchanged phone numbers.

  Never thought I could get off on a voice, but…

  He didn’t sign it until the next text. Then only with a simple,

  R xxx.

  Before following it with,

  I could do if…

  He had to curb his impatience between texts to give her a chance to read them in order—

  You were here in person, guiding me. As it is…

  I’ll wait until that happens. But…

  A little helping hand will have to keep me going, although…

  Only if I know you’ll help yourself when you read this…therefore…

  Do we have a deal? Is your hand straying?

  I’m thinking of you, so is my cock.

  It’s saying my hand is a poor substitute, but…

  Let me imagine you’re helping yourself to stay wet.

  Put those magic fingers inside you…

  And on your
clit…

  Ah, Vairi My Queen, what I wouldn’t do to see you make yourself come.

  Maybe one day?

  Oh, my love, I’m so hard, horny and fucking frustrated. So ready for you.

  I’ve stopped.

  I’m not coming until I’m hard and tight inside you.

  Fuck, I ache.

  Still, only a few hours to go.

  I’ll bring the maple syrup in case you’re out…

  Or is it chocolate sauce?

  Night, my love. Sleep tight.

  “Okay, Vairi. Let’s see what you make of that.” Now all he had to do was try to sleep before he saw her again. He didn’t have a lot of success.

  * * * *

  Raig was awake and up at silly o’clock. He’d slept so little, and when he had it had been so fragmented, that it made no sense to stay in bed and twist and turn. Therefore, it was barely nine when he knocked on Vairi’s door. Much too early. Although, had they set a time? He hadn’t been able to remember, but after he’d spent a good hour wandering around aimlessly he’d decided he wasn’t prepared to wait any longer. If she wasn’t up, he’d camp on her doorstep until she was.

  “It’s open,” she yelled. “Come on in.”

  What? What planet is she on, leaving the door unlocked? Had she even locked it earlier? Didn’t we have a conversation about this before? Surely she knows there are weirdoes about everywhere these days?

  He frowned as he entered the kitchen. Even the sight of her, dressed in another floaty outfit with delicate silk ties all the way down the front that invited him to pull each one open and discover what was underneath, didn’t distract him from his annoyance for long.

  “Hi, you. What’s up?”

  Her gaze drifted downward, and even though he was grouchy, his cock responded predictably and perked up. Her next words annoyed him.

  “Lost a tenner and found a quid?”

  “Why on earth is the door unlocked?” he asked irritably and ignored her humorous question. “Shouting for me to come in. Honestly, woman, I can’t believe you’re so stupid. For goodness’ sake, I could have been anyone.”

  Oh ho, stupid yourself, Raig. Her eyes, which a few seconds before had been lingering on his crotch, helping his cock to be ‘up’, were now flashing fire.

  “Well, my bad luck it was you then.” She went back to cracking eggs into a bowl and ignored him. Raig slammed the door behind him and glared at her.

  “Sorry.”

  “Say it as if you mean it or don’t say it at all.” Vairi stared at him for a long moment, shrugged and obviously decided not to comment further. Instead she ignored his obvious temper and just carried on cooking. Was checking the bacon hadn’t burned and the herbed tomatoes were grilling to perfection more important than responding?

  “However, it’s accepted. Scrambled okay?” she asked pleasantly. “It should be, as it will mimic your brain.”

  You what? Raig was stunned into silence. Then he laughed. A big, full-bodied belly laugh. “Ouch. Was I being a bit of a Neanderthal then, my Vairi?”

  “Mmm,” she said drily. “You could say that. Stomped in, no ‘good morning, hi, how are you’, just moaning. Lovely way to start the day, I don’t think. Here.” She thrust a handful of silverware and the condiment set at him. “Set the table, lose the frown, find a smile and come back and start again.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He patted her butt as he walked past and put the crockery in a heap on the table.

  Vairi shook her head. “Men.”

  He marched determinedly toward her. Took the whisk from her and cradled her face in his hands. He used his tongue to trace her lips before teasing them apart and drawing her into a long, lingering sensual kiss.

  “I…am…so…sorry.” He punctuated each word with a deep, drugging kiss. “I love you, my Vairi, and went cold when you shouted ‘come in’ like that. I hadn’t announced myself. I could have been an ax murderer or a stalker or something.”

  She returned each kiss with enthusiasm. “We’re a bit short on ax murderers and stalkers around here. I need to scramble the eggs, or the bacon will be eggless.”

  “Mmm, never mind.” He nuzzled her neck. “No eggs, no bacon, no matter. No kisses does matter.”

  Laughing, she moved his hands and turned to the cooker. “I bet you won’t say that if I tell you it’s toast, toast, or, er, toast for breakfast. Now give me five minutes and we can eat.”

  “Five, three, whatever. Although I do have a question. What happened to pancakes? No syrup?”

  She turned toward him, a spatula in her hands, and made threatening gestures with it. “All things come to those who wait, including pancakes. They’re for later. I needed a fry-up. Now let me concentrate. Do not talk about pancakes and syrup.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Not yet anyway. Just one more kiss to keep me going.” He was as good as his word. “Now, anything else I can do?”

  “Yes, set the table. And don’t throw me that ‘what on earth do you mean’ face. You know exactly what I mean. A guddle of knives and forks on the table does not mean it is set.”

  He watched her try to stop her lips from twitching, as he heaved a very over-the-top sigh and muttered something about loving a masterful woman.

  “Oh,” she raised her voice, “and tell me now, before I get distracted again and forget to ask you, how you knew Carry C was me.”

  “Your hot as hell, sexy ‘come to bed and fuck me’ voice. Well that’s how I hear it anyway. Hopefully no one else does.”

  She chuckled. “Nope. I mainly get asked if I have a sore throat.”

  “Thank god.” He swiftly set the table. “There we go.”

  “Spot on.” Vairi nodded and grinned. “Now you’ve got it. So if you are very good, maybe I’ll show you just how masterful I can be.”

  “Oh, I’ll be good. Very, very, good. I’m holding you to that.” He looked down at his jeans. “All of me is looking forward to holding you. What are you going on about under your breath? It’s the height of bad manners to talk to yourself and not let me hear.” His smiled to show he wasn’t serious.

  She looked flustered. “Oh, nothing, as you said, just muttering to myself.”

  Raig smirked as she finished cooking and plated their meals.

  “Coffee in percolator, milk in insulated jug. Mugs in that cupboard.” She pointed then put the plates on the table before adding the percolator and milk. Raig collected the mugs and moved across to her.

  “That’s yours,” Vairi said and indicated the plate with the most food on it. “Tuck in.”

  He nodded his thanks and took the seat opposite her. “I hope you’ll be rubbing your feet up my legs while we eat, Vairi My Queen.”

  “Nope. Eat your breakfast before it gets cold. Then maybe I’ll rub my feet up your legs. Maybe.”

  “Woman, you’re cruel. First of all, I had no Vairi in my bed last night. Then she chatted about us on the air. After that, talking to herself and excluding me from the conversation. Now she won’t even rub her feet up my legs. Cruel.”

  “Yup.” Vairi rolled her eyes, crossed them and giggled. “Cruel and heartless, that’s what Lorna used to say when she didn’t get her own way as well. Still does for all I know. And, in my defense, I didn’t chat about us per se. I chatted in general. That’s what I do. If you can’t hack it, then, well, tough I guess.” She poured two mugs of coffee before she picked up her cutlery and began to eat. He noted that there was a tension about her that made him conscious of how much hinged on his answer. It seemed she was more interested than she had admitted. He ate some food before putting down his knife and fork.

  “Okay, let’s get the elephant in the room out and on its way. I can hack it. As long as you can hack mine.” Although he spoke quietly and with sincerity, he didn’t elaborate. “I was gobsmacked last night when I realized it was you. Oh-so-fucking proud. My Vairi, you were awesome. You are awesome. Sorry I was such an ass earlier. It’s hard for me not to be. I love you, and want to know you’re safe.” He watc
hed and waited for her to respond. “No comment?”

  Vairi poured more coffee before answering him. What she said threw him off center enough not to work out until much later that she’d chosen not to address the ‘love’ part of his statement. He’d been as open as he could. Would she respond in kind?

  “I’d only just unlocked it. I am safety conscious, honestly. I even bought more condoms yesterday.”

  He stared at her before the allusion sank in. Humor flooded his face. “Flavored?” he asked wickedly.

  “No, damn it.” Vairi was laughing now. “You’re lucky I remember what the box even looks like. Apart from that box of condoms I brought to you, which I was amazed were in date, it’s been a long time since I’ve needed to ask for something for the weekend!”

  It was Raig’s turn to laugh. “I’ve not heard that expression for a while. I’ll get flavored ones next time then, shall I?”

  Vairi looked at him in bewilderment. “Is there any point? I might take you into my mouth and enjoy it, but I’m not taking a condom into my mouth, flavored or not. It’s still flavored rubber. Ugh, no thanks. Don’t bother to offer me colored ones either. No point when once they’re on and in, you don’t see them. If you do check ’em out once they are on it could scar a woman for life. A purple-spotted penis or a cherry-red cock. Doesn’t bear thinking about.” She shuddered in a theatrical manner. “Thin ‘flesh-colored, let the sensation flow through’, as the advert says. They’ll do.”

  “Indeed they will.” Raig stood and gathered their cutlery and crockery before taking it to the sink. “Drink your coffee, love, and I’ll wash up. After all, if we want to try your purchases…” He winked. “We need to, what is it they say, let our food digest?”