Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

  ****

  "Yo, yo, yo!” One of Darren’s brothers, Noah, was on the phone with him. “Tell me about all the honeys you hooked up with down in Florida, my man.”

  “Not much to tell, my man.” Darren set his luggage aside in his apartment and collapsed on the sofa. “Just same old, same old.”

  “Same old, same old? Pssh!” Noah didn’t buy that excuse for a moment. “Seriously, bro. I know you had a flock of honeys lined up at your hotel room.”

  That probably would’ve been true if Darren had spent any time in his hotel room. He mainly used the hotel room for sleeping. His waking hours were spent with Faith and Nathan. They had just about every meal together and visited all of the tourist spots. Though Faith was mum on the situation between her and her husband, Darren knew she probably didn’t have that much money and paid for everything. It was something he quickly got used to.

  “Seriously, man. Nothing too extraordinary happened,” Darren lied. The extraordinary event was meeting Faith. He was already enchanted with her. He knew a relationship between them would be hard, not because of her marital status, but rather the distance: Faith was centered in Harlem and never entertained the thought of leaving. Darren was firmly planted in Brooklyn and saw no reason to leave as well. He briefly wondered how a long-distance relationship would work between them.

  “Well, if you say nothing happened, nothing happened.” Noah finally gave up. “Say, you coming over for dinner, later? Mom and Dad want to see you.”

  “Yeah, I’ll be there. Just give me a minute to decompress and I’ll be right over.” Every Sunday when Darren wasn’t playing football, he was at his parents’ home for dinner. He thought about extending the invite to Faith and Nathan one day.

  ****

  It was becoming harder to hate Eli.

  He fixed a fabulous meal for them and got Nathan to eat his vegetables. Eli and Faith kept their conversation cordial and friendly, leaving any sarcastic and sharp remarks to themselves. After dinner, Eli tucked Nathan into bed and read him a bedtime story.

  “And they lived happily ever after,” Eli closed the book.

  “Again!” Nathan clamored.

  Eli smiled. “Little man, I’ve read the book three times already. It’s time for you to go to bed.”

  “Again!” Nathan clamored.

  “What about later this week?” Eli asked. “Deal?”

  “Deal.” He slapped Eli’s hand.

  Eli kissed his son’s forehead. “All right, little man. I gotta go now.” He stood up and straightened out his jeans. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Daddy?” Nathan’s soft voice rang out.

  “Yes, baby?”

  “Are you and Mommy fighting?” He asked.

  Where’s Daddy? Why isn’t Daddy home, anymore? Eli could remember his child-self asking the same questions to his brothers when they told him that their father wasn’t coming home anymore. He remembered waiting by the front windows, hoping his father just got lost and would soon make his way back home. After a while, he just gave up and came to the harsh realization that his father wasn’t coming home and he was never going to come back.

  Now his son was asking him the exact same question. Eli sat back down on Nathan’s bed and let out a hard sigh. How was he going to explain to his son that he and Faith were no longer living together? That Daddy needed some space? That Nathan might split the holidays and weekends between the two households?

  You see, you thought your actions were only going to affect you and no one else, right? That’s where you messed up. Your actions affected our son, who wondered why Daddy wasn’t around to make him pancakes... Faith’s words rang in Eli’s ear and glared in his face. Leaving, getting away, needing to cool off… it all seemed so simple. He needed to figure out what he wanted in his life, who he wanted in his life, and where he wanted to go. He truly wasn’t prepared for the effects of his decision.

  “Mommy and I are taking some time apart to figure out what we want.” Eli finally mustered the courage to speak. “It won’t affect our relationship with you. I’ll still make you pancakes but not as often. I’ll still see you but not as much. But hey, whenever you need me, whenever you want to see me, just tell Mommy and she’ll make it happen.”

  “Do you still love Mommy?” Nathan asked.

  “I do,” Eli replied, truthfully. The truth was he did love Faith still; he just didn’t want to be with her at the moment. “I love Mommy very much. I love you very much. But I need you to go to sleep, little man. We’ll talk more in the morning when I pick you up.”

  “Okay, Daddy,” Nathan yawned. “Good night, Daddy. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” He kissed his son again and turned off the light. He was only a few steps out of Nathan’s room when he ran into a somber-looking Faith.

  She softly wiped the falling tears off her cheeks and sniffled. “You want to talk now?”

  Thirteen

  Simone impatiently waited in the kitchen, still dressed in her expensive designer lingerie when she heard Eli’s truck pull up. He told her he was going to see Faith and Nathan upon their return from Florida and he didn’t want her to wait up for him. Simone wanted to know why Eli made such a request but she then realized he was possibly going to talk to Faith about the impending divorce and custody, maybe some monetary arrangements.

  She was too excited to sleep. Maybe he was going to come home and share the great news about how soon the divorce was going to happen. Maybe they could finally look at a home of their own or possibly build one from the ground up. Simone baked a chocolate cake in celebration of it and bought a bottle of expensive champagne. There was going to be a lot to celebrate.

  Her heart warmed upon the realization. The sooner Eli spoke to Faith about the divorce, the sooner he would be free from her and there would be no strings attached. Simone and Eli would be free to do whatever they wanted with each other.

  It had the setting of a Hollywood love story: against the odds, falling in love in spite of it all, coming back together and living happily ever after. They would travel the world as Eli wanted to get out and explore more. Simone could practice being stepmother to Nathan, while expanding her own family with Eli. He would eventually own Madre’s and together with her event planning business, they would be the toast of New York.

  If only… if only Eli would divorce Faith soon.

  Simone was so lost in her thoughts she almost didn’t hear Eli coming in. She walked out of the kitchen and ran up to him with a kiss and a big hug. “So, how did it go?” She nearly bounced in her stilettos.

  Eli thought about Faith’s reaction. It went well. Surprisingly well. She accepted the fifteen thousand-monthly offer without hesitation. They agreed Eli would get Nathan during the weekends and every other week. They spoke as reasonable adults, without cutting each other down or making snide remarks.

  It would’ve been perfect had Faith not asked Eli the fateful question: “Did you mean what you said?”

  “Mean what? I promise to take care of you and Nate, Faye,” Eli replied.

  “No, not that. Did you mean what you said to Nate; that you still loved me?” She asked.

  A small breath escaped Eli’s lips. “I do.”

  “Then why are you with her?” Faith asked.

  A simple ‘I don’t know’ wouldn’t suffice because Eli knew why he was with Simone and not Faith. But it was more complex than the good ole ‘just because’ excuse. He didn’t want to be with Faith—at the moment—but he knew there wasn’t a long-term commitment with Simone. He simply needed to get her out of his system. “Because I’m not sure what I want to do with my life.”

  “When do you think you’re going to figure out?”

  Eli was torn. He wanted to escape and just clear his head. He also wanted his family back. He had left Faith before but always came back to her, and she welcomed him with open arms. That was before they got married and committed their vows to each other. That was before they struggled to conceive for a
year before finally falling pregnant with Nathan.

  That was before his life changed forever. “Soon, I hope.” He answered.

  “I hope so, too.”

  “Um,” Eli cleared his throat and the memory faded in the background, “it went well.”

  “Sooo…” Simone grabbed Eli’s hand and led him to the kitchen. “…I know you told me not to wait up for you but I just wanted to show my appreciation for you. I made a chocolate cake because I know that’s your favorite and I got a nice bottle of champagne for us.” Simone smiled brightly.

  It was one of his favorite champagnes, 1996 Bruno Paillard Blanc de Blancs Reims. It was rich both in price and taste. He’d shared that tidbit with Simone when he took out to dinner the other night and encouraged her to expand her wine and champagne tastes. “It’ll prove to your brides and customers you’re a step above the competition,” he clinked glasses with her.

  It reminded him of another not-too distant memory. “It’ll prove to your brides and customers that when they come to your salon, they’ll feel like a million bucks when they leave,” Eli said to Faith over dinner as they discussed her new salon.

  “That’s it!” Faith exclaimed.

  “What’s what?”

  “The name of my new salon! MillionHair!” She beamed. “Drink champagne and feel like a millionaire when you’re at MillionHair.”

  The memory faded into the background once again and Eli took a sip of the tart liquid. He didn’t want to be with Faith but he was turning Simone into Faith. What in the hell was wrong with that picture?

  “You look distracted,” Simone began to unbuckle Eli’s belt and kneeled down so she was at eye level with his crotch, “what’s wrong, baby? Talk to me.”

  Eli leaned back against the counter and took a sip of the champagne. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, enjoying the smooth tartness in his mouth while Simone paid special attention to his cock. Her tongue twirled around the bulbous head before taking his whole length in her warm mouth. She sucked slowly, enjoying the pleasure she was giving him, while somehow hoping it would relieve his frustration.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” Eli’s voice broke through the silence, moments later. “Just in deep thought.”

  “Mmm…” Simone took Eli’s cock out of her mouth momentarily and licked the underside. “…anything you want to talk about?”

  Oh, there was plenty on Eli’s mind. Faith’s new boyfriend was one thought. Nathan becoming a little too chummy with Darren, whom he seemingly adored, was another. His mother being resentful at him was just one more. And Eli didn’t even want to get started on what his brothers currently thought of him. “Not really, cara.”

  Simone finally became impatient and pulled down Eli’s jeans and his boxer briefs. She wrapped her hands around his thighs and her greedy mouth found his hard cock again. She sucked hard, assaulting his cock with her tongue and relaxed her throat muscles, taking his full length.

  The deep throat action made Eli hiss and set his champagne glass down. “Whoa…” he breathed; his eyes wide and staring straight ahead. He looked down at Simone who winked back at him and continued to suck. She pulled his cock out and twirled her tongue around the length of it before taking him whole into her hot mouth once again, sucking faster.

  “Moni… Moni…” Eli gripped the edges of the counter. “Stop.”

  Simone reluctantly pulled herself away from Eli’s cock and began to jack him off. “Do you really want me to?”

  “Not really, but if I don’t, our night ends here.” Eli winked at her.

  Simone sucked Eli one more time and pulled away. She took a sip of his champagne glass, then tossed it in a corner, shattering the glass. She pulled Eli close to her and licked his lips with her tongue. She then stared into his eyes, with a hunger and want that seemed to have taken over her body. “I want you to fuck me.”

  Eli held Simone’s waist and felt her need. She could barely control it. Maybe fucking her was exactly what he needed to distract him from the nightmare his life was becoming. “How?” He dared her.

  “Fuck me like a whore,” she taunted.

  “Ooh…” Eli licked his lips. “…that could be arranged.” He eyeballed Simone’s baby doll number approvingly. “Was this expensive, cara?”

  “It was a little pricey, yes,” Simone admitted.

  “Take that shit off,” he demanded and Simone hurriedly removed the lingerie. “Go to the utility closet and get out the rope. Meet me back here in sixty seconds. Go!”

  Simone ran to the closet and dug through all the belongings there until she found a rope. When she returned to the living room, Eli was waiting for her. “Come here,” his voice was low, barely above a whisper.

  Simone walked to Eli and he swiftly bent her over the sofa. He quickly tied her hands behind her back. “Stay there,” he instructed. He removed his clothing and had Simone sit on his lap, with her back towards him. She began to squirm in his lap, anxious to feel him inside her. “Easy…” he purred. “…easy.”

  “Don’t make me wait, Eliodoro,” Simone begged.

  Eli spread Simone’s legs and trailed his fingers down to her wet slit, the nub peeking out beneath the folds. He circled her swollen nub between his thumb and forefinger while his free hand grabbed and pinched her breasts. His mouth greedily took a nipple before moving on to the next.

  “Fuck yes,” Simone hissed as her body rolled in the motion of Eli’s fingers. Even if they stopped there, at that moment, she was satisfied with the pleasure he gave her. His fingers owned her body like it was his personal keyboard and he seemingly knew exactly which note to press and when.

  “Ooh, mi cara,” he purred to her as he moved his fingers inside her wet heat, “are you going to cum for me?”

  The feeling was undeniable. Her stomach began to flutter. Her legs were slightly shaking. Her sex began to softly contract, signaling an impending orgasm. Her body was arched off Eli’s and continued to roll in the motion of his fingers.

  “Cara…” Eli softly bit her earlobe and a free hand grabbed her breast, gently twisting the rosebud between his fingers. “…you can’t hold out forever.”

  “Eli…” Simone breathed out his name before collapsing back on him, the orgasm coursing throughout her body and filling the living room with her whimpers.

  “That’s a girl,” he withdrew his fingers and readjusted her position so she was facing him. He sheathed himself inside her and watched her reaction as he guided her hips. “Mmm… Moni likes that, doesn’t she?”

  Simone sucked in a sharp breath as Eli filled her completely, stretching her out with every thick inch. “I like it a lot,” she slowly rolled her body off his. She leaned down and kissed him, twirling her tongue with his as she continued to ride him.

  The tension soon disappeared from Eli as heat began to build inside him. Magically, all the tension and stress from his family, from Faith, from his decision dissipated with every thrust his girlfriend made. There were no worries about alimony. He didn’t think about informal custody visits. Instead, he concentrated on the beauty before him, on top of him. He saw how her eyes fluttered with each thrust. He smiled when she called out his name over and over.

  He felt free. He felt alive. He felt confident that Simone was the one he wanted.

  Eli held onto his girlfriend tightly as she moved, her moans and whimpers against his neck and her body contracting on his. He encouraged her to move faster on him, rolling off his body as his grunts matched her moans.

  Simone soon cried out as the orgasm shot through her body, curling her toes and arching her back. She shook and breathed hard, letting the orgasm take her away to some far place, and over the edge.

  Eli flipped Simone over and re-entered her from behind. He held her shoulders down on the sofa while he rode her, taking out all of his frustration on her. He slapped her ass a few times and reached around to play with her swollen nub, causing Simone to shout out Eli’s name again. With a few more hard thrusts, Eli quickly pulled out and
emptied on Simone’s ass, his cock pulsing hard, and marking her as his.

  Damn.

  Once they both came down from their high, Eli untied Simone’s wrists and wiped her down with a napkin. He collapsed beside her, spent and contemplative. He closed his eyes and let his breathing slowly return to normal. He soon felt Simone climb on top of him, snuggling against him. She lay on his sweat-covered chest, feeling his heartbeat pound, and his lungs expanding with every movement.

  “You weren’t just happy to see me, Eli.” Simone’s voice broke through the silence moments later.

  “I don’t want to involve you,” Eli answered truthfully. “It really doesn’t concern you, Moni.”

  “If it concerns you, it concerns me.” She kissed his neck.