Vengeance

by Susan Lewis

  ‘Laurence, please . . .’ Kirsten said, trying to twist her arm free.

  ‘I should have known it,’ he seethed. ‘What’d she say? That she’d cut me off if I continued to see you?’

  Kirsten looked away.

  ‘Yeah, that’s what she said all right. For God’s sake, Kirstie, can’t you see that you just played straight into her hands by walking out of there? She tells you there’s going to be no money and you leave. She was testing you, for Christ’s sake! She doesn’t want to believe all she’s read about you, but she loves Tom and me and this is her way of trying to protect us.’

  ‘From me?’ Kirsten suddenly flared. ‘Yes, the whole world needs protecting from me! And maybe she’s right! Maybe I am just after your money! And far be it from me to stand between you and your inheritance,’ and throwing the door open she jumped out of the car and ran towards the house.

  Laurence caught her as she fumbled in her bag for her keys. ‘Don’t ever demean yourself to me like that again,’ he thundered, spinning her round to face him. ‘I know the way you feel about me and goddammit I’m not going to let anyone, least of all you, deny it. Now listen to me! Listen to me!’ he shouted shaking her and making her look at him. ‘I love you, Kirsten. I love you, do you hear me?’

  ‘Why?’ she cried. ‘Why me, when there are so many suitable girls your mother –’

  Her words were cut off as his mouth came crushing down on hers. ‘You want the reasons,’ he said savagely when he broke off, ‘then you got them. I love you because you’re the only woman in the world I can ever love. I love you because you make me so damned mad. I love you because you’re a bloody fool.’ He snatched the keys from her and threw open the door. ‘I love you because you make my life worth living.’ He pushed her inside. ‘I love you because you love me.’ He slammed the door and pushed her hard up against the wall. ‘I love you because you’re so damned insecure,’ and he kissed her again. ‘I love you because you need to be loved,’ he groaned pushing her skirt to her waist. ‘I love you because you do things to me no other woman ever has,’ he said, fumbling with his fly. ‘And I love you,’ he added, pushing himself inside her, ‘because of this.’

  Kirsten was panting for breath. Her legs were turning weak, but as he hammered into her he kept her against the wall.

  ‘They’re not coming between us, Kirsten, do you hear me?’ he growled. ‘No one is every going to come between us again. Not even you.’

  28

  It took only a few hours of being back in the office to show both Kirsten and Laurence how crazy they were to think they could keep their relationship a secret. They had only to look at each other for the entire team to realize that the romance they had all known was inevitable was at last back on the rails. The way they made each other laugh infected everyone especially when Laurence would unthinkingly put an arm around Kirsten and Kirsten would stare at him as if he was mad. But the humour in her eyes always gave her away and no one ever walked into their office without knocking now.

  ‘You have to try and control yourself a bit better,’ she told him at the end of the first week.

  ‘How the hell can I do that when just looking at you gives me a hard on,’ he groaned, running his hands down over her buttocks.

  ‘Don’t exaggerate,’ she said, wriggling out of the way. ‘And we’ve got plenty of time for that in the evenings, so will you at least try to behave like a responsible producer while we’re here?’

  ‘I’d be a whole lot better at that if you didn’t wear those tight clothes,’ he answered, putting his hands over her breasts.

  ‘I wore them before but you didn’t lose control like this then,’ she reminded him, sliding her hands into her skirt pockets as he caressed her through her sweater.

  ‘You don’t know how close I came,’ he told her, his eyes dancing with amusement as he squeezed her nipples and watched the effect it was having on her.

  ‘Laurence, at this rate we’ll be going home for an early lunch again,’ she said huskily, ‘and it’s embarrassing having everyone know what we’re doing.’

  He laughed. ‘They reckon we’re doing it right here,’ he said.

  ‘Only because you won’t let them come in without knocking.’

  ‘You want them to catch me feeling your tits?’

  She rolled her eyes and laughed. ‘You’re so coarse at times,’ she remarked.

  ‘How about I remind you of the things you were saying last night?’ he offered.

  ‘No thank you. Now, will you answer that phone.’

  Turning to his desk he picked up the receiver, listened to what his assistant was telling him then, looking at his watch, he rang off. ‘I’ve got an appointment at the bank,’ he said. ‘Wanna come along?’

  Kirsten shook her head. ‘No, that’s your territory. I’ve got more than enough to do here. Elizabeth and Jean-Paul are coming in to look at the rushes and rough-cut – again! Still, it’s not every director who gets the opportunity to put right the things they weren’t happy with first time around so I guess I should think myself lucky. Oh God,’ she groaned, ‘don’t ever let anyone else hear me say that. It’ll just add more fuel to the suspicion that I was behind Anna’s death. Which is another reason,’ she went on as he pulled her into his arms, ‘why we shouldn’t flaunt ourselves this way.’

  ‘I told you before, I love you, Kirsten, and I don’t care who the hell knows it.’

  ‘But I don’t want people to start suspecting me again – for all I know they haven’t even stopped.’

  ‘They will, and just so long as you’ve got rid of that crazy notion that I suspected you . . .’

  ‘You sure you didn’t?’ she whispered her lips touching his.

  ‘Hell, Kirstie, I can’t even believe you thought I did. I know you had nothing to do with it, and remember, it wasn’t murder. Why does everyone keep forgetting that? Oh Christ,’ he groaned as at last he managed to pull her skirt up to her waist.

  Taking his face between her hands she pushed her tongue deep into his mouth as he squeezed her naked buttocks and pressed himself against her. All she was wearing was a pair of gartered stockings. He walked her backwards to her desk, sat her on the edge and as her legs opened he lowered his hand and started to rub his fingers back and forth. She supported herself with her hands as he leaned over her, kissed her lingeringly and erotically while slowly inserting his fingers. Then, quite suddenly, he pulled away.

  Kirsten’s eyes flew open. ‘Laurence!’ she cried as he started towards the door.

  ‘Sorry,’ he grinned, ‘we got plenty of time for that in the evenings. Gotta go,’ and he started to open the door. ‘Uh, better make yourself decent,’ he said, ‘we don’t want everyone knowing how you throw yourself across the desk at me.’

  As the door closed behind him he laughed as he heard a book crash against it and was tempted to go back, but if he did he knew he’d be late for his meeting at the bank. So, helping himself to the morning paper from Vicky’s desk, he went outside to hail himself a taxi.

  Just like everyone else he and Kirsten were still waiting to see what the press would have to say about their relationship, but so far there had been an almost deafening silence. The only person who seemed upset by the relationship was Ruby. It wasn’t that she ever passed comment, she simply studied them with her watery blue eyes then lowered her head and started to pray. Fortunately she didn’t come to the office often, though she was repeatedly asking Laurence for private meetings, but knowing that she would use the opportunity to talk about Kirsten Laurence always claimed that he was too busy to go all the way out to Richmond. The fact that both his mother and step-mother disapproved of Kirsten was causing a rift between them all, but he was not going to be manipulated by two women whose love and concern he appreciated but whose reluctance to give Kirsten a chance was as intolerable as it was unjust. They would just have to come to terms with the fact that his loyalty was to Kirsten now, his future was with her and if Thea and Ruby wanted to remain a part of h
is life they would have to accept that Kirsten was here to stay. Happily he had no such problem with Tom who adored Kirsten as much as she did him, and just to watch them together, chattering and playing games, filled Laurence with such emotion that he could only wonder at what kind of fool he was to have denied himself this for so long. And Jane’s evident delight that Kirsten was spending so much time at the house in Kensington was so touching that neither he nor Kirsten even attempted to hide the way they felt in front of her. Their love seemed to give Jane almost as much pleasure as it did them and Tom got so excited when they kissed that they were starting to feign weariness at having to indulge him so often. However, when it came to sleeping with them Laurence put his foot down. Tom could try to kiss Kirsten the way Daddy did, he could take a bath with them, he could even on the odd occasion go into the office with them, but he was not getting into bed with them. Tom sulked, Kirsten tried to persuade Laurence to relent, but Laurence was unmoved as he reminded her that she too had to start showing Tom some discipline and stop spoiling him.

  Over the next couple of weeks everything went so smoothly on all counts that they should have known it wouldn’t last, and sure enough, only days before they were about to depart for Ireland they learned that County Westmeath was under at least a foot of snow.

  Laurence went into immediate action, calling in the heads of all departments and telling them to turn everything around and get themselves ready to shoot in New Orleans the following week. The Irish scenes, he said, would be better in March anyway.

  ‘It seems to me,’ Kirsten remarked to Helena a week later when they met up in a wine bar on the eve of their departure for New Orleans, ‘that the entire team have been performing miracles. I can hardly believe how they’ve got this going so fast. It almost makes me dizzy to think of it.’

  ‘It’s amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it,’ Helena smiled. ‘Anyway, it’s real good to see you at last, it’s not the same on the phone.’

  ‘I know,’ Kirsten groaned. ‘And I’ve really missed you.’

  ‘I missed you too. You look terrific. I guess that’s what love does.’

  Kirsten laughed. ‘Sometimes I feel like I’m about to explode with the sheer joy of it,’ she said. ‘He’s getting fed up with the way I keep pinching him to make sure he’s really there and it’s not all a dream.’

  ‘So what happened to putting the career first and never letting anything or anyone touch you again?’ Helena teased.

  ‘Oh, don’t remind me,’ Kirsten grimaced. ‘The resolutions we make . . . Still, I suppose self-preservation calls for them at times. But you and I both know that no amount of success can ever take the place of love.’

  ‘It’s pretty good to have both though, isn’t it?’ Helena commented. ‘So tell me, how do you feel about going back to New Orleans after all that’s happened?’

  ‘I don’t know really,’ Kirsten said, gazing thoughtfully around the wine bar. ‘I mean, being back with Laurence changes a lot of things, but going over old ground for the reasons we are feels, well it feels pretty awful actually. I know brooding over Anna’s death wouldn’t help, but it’s horrible to think she can be replaced so easily.’

  ‘Only in the context of a movie,’ Helena said. ‘You have to think of it that way. It’s not real, any of this, and she’s not forgotten.’

  ‘No, she’s certainly not forgotten,’ Kirsten said, pouring more wine into their glasses, ‘it’s just that sometimes it feels like she is.’

  ‘Does Laurence ever talk about her?’

  ‘Not really. After all, what is there to say that hasn’t already been said?’

  ‘Nothing I guess, except that we’re all sorry it ever happened. Of course, if it hadn’t you and Laurence would have taken a bit longer to get back together, but you would have eventually, everyone knows that.’

  ‘I wish I’d had your confidence,’ Kirsten smiled. ‘Still, like I said, there’s no point in brooding on what’s past, God knows I’ve got enough to think about for the next few weeks. I’m glad we’re starting in the Plantation House though, it’s the nearest thing we’re going to get to a fresh start. Talking of which, and changing the subject neatly, how are things going with Dermott?’

  Helena took a deep breath and stared down at her wine. ‘Hard to say really,’ she answered. ‘We’re still seeing each other, but I just don’t know if I can bring myself to make a real commitment to him. I want to, but something’s holding me back.’

  ‘Probably the fact that you don’t love him,’ Kirsten suggested.

  ‘Probably. But I might grow to. I guess it’s whether or not I take that chance. Well I’m gonna have to if I want kids, ’cos time’s ticking on and I don’t hold out much hope of meeting anyone else before the childbearing years run out – if they haven’t already.’

  ‘Is it really that important to you that you have children?’ Kirsten asked softly.

  Helena nodded. ‘Yeah. Now I know I might not be able to I want them more than anything.’ She gave a wistful laugh. ‘Isn’t that the way of the world? Always want what you can’t have.’

  ‘But you don’t know for sure you can’t have them, not yet. Are you taking any precautions?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Does Dermott know that?’

  ‘Yep. He’s real happy about it.’

  ‘But you just don’t know if it’s him you want as the father?’

  ‘Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. To tell the truth I reckon he’d be a good dad. Sure, he’s pretty screwed up, gets himself in a twist about things so’s he can’t even see straight at times, but if he got himself sorted out . . . I think I told you I persuaded him to go get some counselling.’

  ‘How’s that going?’

  ‘OK, I think. Well, he’s only been twice and I reckon he’s going for me rather than himself. But he needs it all right. That year he spent drinking himself to oblivion left him pretty scarred. And working for Dyllis Fisher doesn’t help. I can’t make out too much of what goes on between those two, but she sure as hell gets to him at times. He’s scared of her, that’s for sure, but then he knows better than most what she’s capable of. Well, I guess you can’t be in much doubt of that either.’

  ‘Not really,’ Kirsten commented.

  Helena lifted her eyes from her glass and turned them to Kirsten. Ever since she and Dermott had returned from Scotland she had been trying to decide whether or not to tell Kirsten that Dyllis Fisher was claiming she could prove that Kirsten had killed Anna. Dermott still hadn’t been able to find out what proof Dyllis had, which made Helena doubt its existence, for if Dyllis was confident she could carry it off she’d surely have done so by now. ‘Tell me,’ she said, ‘in your heart of hearts, do you reckon Dyllis might have had something to do with Anna’s death?’

  Kirsten’s lips pursed as she slowly shook her head. ‘I don’t know,’ she answered eventually. ‘Obviously it’s crossed my mind, but if she did then that means Dermott might have had something to do with it too.’

  ‘I know,’ Helena said despondently. ‘That’s what worries me.’ Then for no apparent reason she smiled and reached out for Kirsten’s hand.

  ‘What was that for?’ Kirsten asked in surprise.

  ‘For being you, I guess. For finding the time to talk about my problems when you’re such a big-time director now.’

  ‘I’m hardly that,’ Kirsten laughed.

  ‘But you will be,’ Helena assured her with a sigh. ‘I just wish my life was as cut and dried as yours. I mean, you got no doubts about Laurence and thank God he’s come to his senses and realized he doesn’t have any about you. And my guess is you two’ll be adding to that family before too much longer. Shit, I wish I was still your age. I don’t suppose I’d be having all these doubts about Dermott if I was, don’t guess I’d be seeing him at all come to that. Now why can’t I find myself someone like Laurence, is what I want to know?’

  ‘He’s not so perfect,’ Kirsten smiled, her heart tightening with love
. ‘Even Ruby seems to be having her doubts on that score since we got back together. But she’s another matter altogether. She is his mother, by the way.’

  ‘Yes, Dermott told me. Pretty bizarre that, don’t you think?’

  ‘A bit, but as crazy as she’s getting lately, I think I’d rather deal with her than Thea. That woman absolutely terrifies me. She’s so cold and well, I don’t know, I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think she resents me a whole lot more than Ruby does. God save us from mothers, eh?’

  ‘Amen. Dermott’s has been so obliging as to depart this world, thank God. He never knew who his father was . . . Well, I always knew he was a bastard,’ she laughed. ‘But at least he’s not trying to damage your relationship with Laurence. In fact I don’t think a word’s been printed has it?’

  ‘Not that I know of. And if you’re responsible for getting him to back off then I’m deeply in your debt.’

  ‘Would that I had that kind of influence, but I’ve done my best. The truth is though that on the whole Dyllis is the one who’s been writing his columns where you’re concerned, or so he claims. So she’s the one who seems to have backed off.’

  ‘Maybe she knows when she’s beaten,’ Kirsten said hopefully. ‘And if she doesn’t she’s going to find out, because this time round nothing is going to come between Laurence and me and nothing is going to stop us finishing that film. Dermott’s banned from the set I’m afraid. That was Laurence’s decision, not mine.’

  ‘Yeah, I guessed as much. But that’s no bad thing, I can take this time away to think things through, as if I haven’t done enough of that already. I reckon seeing you and Laurence together is going to help me come to a decision. I don’t hold out much hope of ever finding what you two have, but it might make me come to terms with what I can have. Are Jane and Tom coming along by the way?’

  ‘Of course. Laurence wouldn’t leave Tom behind even if he wanted to be left, which he doesn’t.’

  ‘That’s good. Seeing you all as a family might push me in the right direction. I’ll bet Jane’s cock-a-hoop at having you around all the time.’