Wild Side

by Cynthia Ayman

  “Just making a statement,” he says with a wink when he lets me go. He gives my ass a good squeeze as he walks past me and heads toward the bar.

  I am smiling like crazy when I head to the kitchen. Pinkie and Lacy are cleaning up when I walk in, and a few men are sitting at the table and talking. I only recognize Spike, but I know better than to ask. I open the fridge and grab the leftover soup I made the day before. Apa stopped to get a burger on the way back, but I wasn’t in the mood for junk food.

  “Don’t mind us,” Pinkie snarls as I wait by the microwave. There are at least five feet between me and her, so I don’t really understand what the problem is.

  “Sorry, you needed the microwave?” I ask hesitantly.

  “No. I need you to pull your weight a little if it’s not asking too much.”

  I’m a little bit taken aback because I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I definitely do my part around the house, like everybody else. I cook, too, since I’m one of the only ones who enjoy doing it.

  “Pinkie,” Spike says in a warning voice.

  “What?!” Pinkie snaps, throwing a towel on the counter “It’s been more than two weeks and she’s still here, OK?”

  “Yeah, Apa says-”

  “Of course, Apa says. He gets pussy exclusivity, he’s not gonna complain.” She turns to me. “You’re not his old lady, he hasn’t claimed you, so that means you should be treated like all of us. The usual two-week test-drive is over and with the brothers from Portland visiting, we could use another girl.”

  Like all of us? What the hell is she talking about? I have been treated like everybody else. I’m on the chore list, and I even do more as a thank you for letting me use their equipment.

  When I realize what she’s talking about, I have to hold onto the counter for support.

  The two-week test-drive. Does she mean what I think she means? Am I expected to go from man to man now?

  What. The. Fuck?! I didn’t sign up for that. And the way the three new guys are eyeing me makes me want to run as far away as possible.

  For the first time since I arrived, I don’t feel comfortable. It’s a brutal wake-up call too because I have to admit that I’ve been living in La-la-land.

  Lacy closes the dishwasher and turns to me. “Don’t listen to her. And you, Pinkie, you better shut your mouth if you don’t want to be in trouble.”

  Somehow, it doesn’t make me feel better. What if Pinkie stated the truth? What if that’s why she might get in trouble? Club business is club business, after all. I’ve been completely kept out of it.

  Something creeps up my spine. It dawns on me that I’m literally alone in a house full of strangers. Because even though I’ve been living with them for two weeks, they are strangers. I don’t even know their names, only the road names of most of them.

  “I don’t even get what he sees in you,” Pinkie snorts as she sits down on one of the men’s lap. He’s big and doesn’t look very friendly. I see on his patch that his name is Hannibal and, as you can guess, it doesn’t ease my sudden anxiety. “I guess the brothers will tell me once they’ve had a go at you.”

  That’s it. I’m out of here. I abandon my soup and grab my KitchenAid. It’s mine and it cost me an arm and a leg so I’m not leaving without it. It’s heavy too, which I didn’t stop to consider, but I manage. I leave the kitchen, walk down the hallway and am relieved to see the front door is open. I still have my purse across my chest and my car keys are inside. I carefully place my KitchenAid on the porch as I go to open the trunk of my car. I haven’t used it a lot since I arrived, there was always someone to drive me to Costco or to the diner, and the van or Apa’s truck were much more practical.

  I’m not going back inside, and it sucks because I have some of my favorite clothes in there but I’m not taking the risk. What Pinkie said freaked the crap out of me.

  “Abby?” Lee asks as he arrives suddenly behind me. I yell in fear, my heart hammering in my chest. Poe is with him and I calm down when I understand they just arrived from the building where they… actually, I have no idea what they do in there. I was told to not go there and I didn’t.

  “You going somewhere, sweetheart?” he asks. It’s dark now, and I rationally understand his question. Where would I go alone, since I don’t know anyone around here?

  I don’t have the time to answer, though, because Apa is hurrying down the stairs and heading toward us.

  Crap. My stealthy exit isn’t super stealthy. I shouldn’t have grabbed my KitchenAid. It slowed me down. Isn’t it like survival 101? Leave your personal belongings wherever the fuck they are and leave.

  I would probably die in a fire, running back to get my vibrator or something.

  Don’t judge. It’s a beast with seven different speeds, a rotative mode, and a special little thing for my clitoris.

  “Where are you going?” Apa asks. “Did you forget something at the store yesterday?”

  I keep my eyes firmly on his shoulder so he doesn’t distract me with his stupid dimpled smile.

  “I… am going home, actually,” I say in a firm voice. “I think it’s time.”

  “What?”

  Lee and Poe look at each other then do their special biker silent convo and leave as one man. I am relieved that at least this conversation will just be between Aaron and me.

  “What’s the two-week test-drive?” I ask before I can stop myself.

  The way his breath catches tells me all I need to know.

  It’s funny because he hasn’t said a thing, technically. He didn’t even have to spell it out. Yet… the slash of pain I feel is brutal.

  “Abby, it’s not what you think,” he eventually says. I’m about to climb behind the wheel and he probably senses it because he moves and blocks the door with his hand.

  “I’ve been told I need to help a little more with the other men, what exactly am I supposed to think?” I ask in a tone so cold, I wouldn’t be surprised if his dick freezes and falls off.

  I wish. That would teach him.

  “Yes, for club girls, there is this usual rule of two-weeks trial period, then… it doesn’t matter. You’re not a club girl.”

  “Does everybody know that? Because it sure doesn’t look like it. The Hannibal dude was looking at me like he was picturing how to get me.” I shiver at that.

  “I’ll make it clearer if some have doubts,” Apa says. “And no one is going to touch you against your will, Abby. No one.”

  “I’m not sure it’s going to work. Us, I mean.”

  “Abby, it’s late. Come back inside, we’ll go straight to my room. You’re shaking, you can’t drive like that anyway. I promise no one is going to bother you.”

  He’s right. My hands are shaking, and I’m in no state to drive. People stare at us as we walk upstairs, and I feel their eyes on me with an intensity that is unsettling my nerves even more. I sit down on the bed when we’re inside his room, my hands joined on my lap.

  “When club girls want to join, usually we give them two weeks to… feel comfortable. If after two weeks, they aren’t used to our way, we cut them loose.”

  “You mean if after two weeks they haven’t fucked everyone?”

  He winces. “Something like that. We don’t expect them to have sex with all the brothers, but at least enough to vote on whether she’ll make a good addition or not. Even then, it takes a while before we fully consider them as club girls. They earned the right to stay around and are somehow protected by the club, but it usually takes at least a year for them to be allowed to live full-time here. Trust has to be built. I guess the two-week rule is for them to prove they have what it takes to prospect as club girls.”

  “Oh my God. This is…”

  “No one is forced to do anything, Abby. If they realize they can’t, for whatever reason, then they leave, it’s as simple as that. It also doesn’t mean that every man is given a free pass. No one has to do anything against their will. But they also have to understand what is expected of them.” />
  “Sex.”

  “Yes. Abby, they like it. I know it seems weird for you but the girls who stay here love the way we live our life. The freedom, the uninhibited sex. It is true, though, that some think this life is for them and eventually realize it’s not. It’s OK. Sometimes one of them will be a regular for one or several brothers but she’s not allowed to live in the clubhouse. And the club doesn’t recognize her as one of us either.”

  “I’m staying, though.”

  “You’re different. The club knows you’re under my protection. You also work for a club member so that protects you, too.”

  “Maisie is my customer, not my boss.”

  “She still pays you.” Apa kneels in front of me, his hands covering mine. “Who told you all of that?”

  “Pinkie,” I say with a roll of my eyes. Because who else, really? “I think she doesn’t like the fact that I robbed her of the supreme honor of picking up your dirty underwear.”

  Apa’s head drops as he chuckles. “I wish you saw it as a supreme honor too.”

  “You wish, indeed.” He knows that won’t be happening any time soon. The kitchen might be my kingdom, and yes, I don’t mind doing laundry for the both of us, although it mostly has to do with the fact that the scent of freshly washed clothes is borderline orgasmic to me, but this is something that is non-negotiable. He picks up his own damn dirty clothes and carries the basket up and down the stairs. Not that he ever whined or complained about it - thank God - since, after all, he used to be in the Marines. They’re trained to take care of themselves just fine.

  He squeezes my knees reassuringly then sits down next to me. “I’ll talk to everyone. Lee and Poe are cool with you staying. They like you.”

  “They like my food, you mean.”

  “Same thing, really.”

  I wish he would tell everyone that I’m not going anywhere. That he wants to keep me around. That I’m his official or whatever. I know it won’t happen.

  Just like I know that I’m gonna have to make a decision sooner rather than later.

  Chapter 18

  Apa

  I might have convinced Abby to stay but she still packed her stuff. Just in case, apparently. I don’t like seeing her scared, and I like it even less when I know that she is scared of my club. That’s twisted. The club is all about family, not freaking out women. Yeah, we’re on the wild side, but there are lines we just don’t cross here. It’s different in other clubs, I won’t lie. Even in other chapters, there is stuff I don’t like. But here, we have certain rules and we like it that way.

  When Lacy told me Pinkie had run her mouth at Abby and that my girl had packed her mixer, I knew right away something was off. I’m starting to know Abby really well, and if she was taking kitchen appliances with her, she wasn’t planning on coming back.

  I come clean to her, as much as I can at least, and once it’s done, I head back downstairs to let her process in peace. I have a feeling she wants to be alone.

  I also have some shit to sort.

  I spot who I’m looking for as soon as I’m in the common room. Pinkie is sitting between Hannibal and Joker, two of the three nomads who are visiting us.

  Lee stands up as soon as I stalk my way to them. “Apa.”

  “What did you say to her?” I snap at Pinkie, ignoring my president.

  She looks at me innocently, batting her eyelashes. “Nothing. Just the two-week rule.”

  “You know she isn’t here to be a club girl. You had no business, no fucking business, telling her about club rules.”

  “I’m sorry, I saw she was getting friendly with Bear, so I figured maybe she was liking it here and that she should know what she was stepping into.”

  I snap my head at Bear who stands up and slowly holds up his hands. “Man, nothing has been going on with Abby.”

  I know that. Fuck, I know that. Why am I pissed at Bear for something I know very well didn’t happen?! Abby is mine, I think suddenly. That’s why I’m pissed. My little paparazzi is all mine, and I don’t want to share her.

  Thank fuck she hasn’t started liking it here as Pinkie suggests because the house would have turned into a bloodbath.

  I’m jealous. The thought is sudden and a little unsettling. I’m not the jealous kind. Then I shrug it off, because so what if I am? Abby is my girl, nothing wrong with that, especially since she doesn’t want anybody else either.

  “So, is she leaving?” Pinkie asks just as I come to terms with my epiphany.

  “What the fuck?” I frown. I just spent a good thirty minutes calming my woman down and people really thought I was gonna let her leave?

  Pinkie shrugs. “Well, you told her how it works for club girls. You don’t want an old lady, so she’s in a little bit of a tough spot.”

  I narrow my eyes at her because I think I understand what this is all about. “You bitch.”

  “Apa,” Lee warns again behind me.

  “She ran her mouth to Abby, knowing I’d have to explain a bunch of things. She wanted to make sure Abby knew that her position is not normal and can’t last. It worked, too.”

  “She asked to be your old lady?” Bear asks. “You know she’d be-”

  “No, she didn’t. Sorry, Pinkie. It didn’t work. That was your plan, right? You know I don’t want an old lady, and if Abby finds out that it’s not even a possibility, you think she’ll leave, right?”

  Pinkie doesn’t even pretend. She gives me another shrug, and I’m starting to get really pissed at her. We had some good times together, but I don’t accept this kind of manipulative bullshit.

  “Listen to me. And listen to me carefully,” I tell her in a cold voice. “Abby is not leaving. And if I find out you started shit with her, you’ll regret it.”

  A hand on my shoulder makes me jerk around and I’m so fired up with anger that my fist is ready to fly. Reese ducks just in time though. “Dude!”

  He grabs me by the shoulder and drags me to the kitchen, Lee and Poe following us.

  “Cool down, son,” Poe tells me as he hands me a beer. “Jesus, you’re more worked up than Maisie when she’s on the rag. Want some Ibuprofen or something?”

  I glare at him but accept the beer nonetheless while Lee sits down in front of me. “Pinkie has a point, you know.”

  “Come on, Prez.”

  “I know. I told you she can stay. But I also told you it couldn’t cause trouble in the club.”

  My VP shakes his head. “Lee, that’s not fair. Abby did nothing, it’s Pinkie who started shit. The other girls have been OK with her.”

  “You know most of them haven’t dared to speak out yet, but they’re gossiping,” Reese says. “Lacy told me. It’s only a matter of time. They feel like she has the best of both worlds. She’s protected and gets the ladies’ choice. You haven’t touched one of them since Abby started to live with us.”

  “Why the fuck do they care?”

  “You’re a good lay.”

  I turn to face Reese. Lee and Poe stare at him.

  “That’s what the girls say,” Reese exclaim. “Jeez. It’s your piercing, OK? Apparently, you’re like a special treat because of it.”

  Lee sighs. “We came up with our rules for the girls to avoid drama, Apa.”

  “I know.”

  “Come on, you like the chick. Having an old lady is nice.” Poe is trying to convince me. I’m not sure if it’s because he wants us to share the pussy-whipped jokes or because he really likes Abby, though.

  “I’ve only known her for weeks. You don’t claim an old lady like that.”

  Fuck. Just thinking about it kinda freaks me out. That would mean I’m fully responsible for another person. A civilian.

  “I claimed Maisie after a month, and you’ve technically known Abby longer than that.”

  “It was different back then, Poe. You guys were into an open relationship.” At first, Maisie, despite being Poe’s old lady, was still very much into the biker lifestyle, especially the sexual freedom. He claimed her
fast because she was part of another club, and it was the only way to avoid a stupid war. It worked for them, too. Their relationship slowly changed after a year or two, once they started to really build a home together. When they got married, they realized it was for good. What they were building was strong but inviting other people into their lives would weaken everything. They also wanted a family and didn’t want to bring children into that kind of situation. Their youngest is in her first year of college, and Maisie and Poe have been faithful to each other for more than twenty years now. They never regretted any of their choices, as far as I know. But my situation is different. If I claim Abby as my old lady, then it’s serious right away.

  “Nothing is stopping you from having it both ways,” Reese remarks.

  I glare at him. Again. I don’t know what’s up with him, but he seems to have a death wish tonight. I’m forced to admit he has a point, though. I’m aware a lot of bikers play it that way, but I’m not a cheater. I don’t do that crap. It sucks when it’s done to you, and I’m not about to do it to someone else. Especially not Abby. She is kind and sweet and loyal. You cherish that, you don’t trample it.

  “I’m just saying,” he says defensively. “Some women are OK as long as they are unaware of it, they can pretend it doesn’t happen.”

  Lee’s mom was like that. Her old man went around a lot, she knew it but as long as it stayed inside the club and away from her family, she could deal.

  I shake my head. “No. It would hurt Abby.” The idea of hurting her, knowingly, is abhorrent to me. Hurting her that way, destroying that trust I’m seeing grow in her eyes? Making her doubt herself, think she is somehow not enough? No. I’d rather break up with her right away.

  And that is also out of the question. I’m growing attached to my little paparazzi.

  “I don’t get it, son,” Poe says eventually. “You like the girl, it’s obvious. You’re faithful-”

  “Because I don’t want to hurt her,” I cut him off.

  “Oh, come on, that’s bullshit! You’re faithful because you don’t want anybody else and that’s the goddamn truth!” Poe rolls his eyes then kicks me in the shin. “You’re not stupid, Apa. You’re smitten. It’s OK, it happens. Man-up and claim the woman so she stays for good. My birthday is in October, and I’d like a cake like she did for Maisie, you know the one with cookies and cream?”