Wings and Faith

by Joy Redmond

  Did Snake crawl out of the slick, deep box, and knock off the metal lid by itself— or did it have some help from a mean spirit?

  Chapter Eleven

  When spring arrived, Mandy’s mind kept turning back to the past two winters and she considered the idea of selling the house and moving to Florida. The weather was beautiful in Cape Girardeau, but she knew winter would soon take its place, and she couldn’t bear the thought of snow and severe cold. She would never be able to erase the winters of 1977 and 1978 from her mind. The more she pictured herself on the sunny beaches, digging her toes in the sand, taking a dip in the ocean and basking in the sun almost year around, the more enchanted she became with the idea. She could feel the warmth on her skin as she thought about the move, and in her imagination she saw the children on the beach and Abbie building sand castles.

  The first week of May, she called the real estate company, the same one she had bought the house from, and an agent came out, filled out the paper work and put a For Sale sign in the front yard.

  Effie came over and knocked on the storm door, then opened it and walked in, “Mandy, where the hell are you?” she yelled in a booming voice.

  Mandy walked out of the bedroom. “I’m right here! I’m not deaf, and what’s got your drawers in a wad?”

  “Why is there a For Sale sign in the front yard? I thought you loved this house and the neighborhood. Have you lost your mind?” Her eyes were large and her face was red.

  “I lost my mind years ago, but this time I think my mind is on the right track. There’s a For Sale sign up because I’m selling the house. I’m not going through anymore winters like the last two. I’m going to Florida. Every year when you’re snowed in, I’ll send you a picture of us on the beach, soaking up rays!”

  “Crazy! You’re just pain crazy!” Effy said, and tears welled.

  Before Mandy could say anything else, Amos sauntered into the house. “What’s a For Sale sign doing in the yard?” he demanded and Mandy was taken aback by the tone of his voice.

  “You two discuss this,” Effy said. “Amos, I hope you can talk some sense into this crazy woman’s head. She’s not listening to me.” Effy puffed up and stared at Mandy.

  “Why are you selling the house?” Amos asked. “I thought you—”

  Mandy held up her hand. “I do love the house. But, I don’t love cold country. I’ve had all the snow I want in this lifetime. I’m selling out and I’m going to Florida. I’ve made up my mind!” Mandy squared her shoulders and stood firm as she looked at them.

  “Mandy, my God! The last two winters were bad and we all had a rough time of it, but it’s over. Another winter like we just had probably won’t happen again for another hundred years. You need to give this some more thought. And what about us? Am I just another notch on your bedpost, and nothing more? I thought we’d spend the rest of our life together.” Amos’s eyes welled and he looked away. “I can’t lose you, Mandy.” he managed to say. His voice lowered.

  “Don’t talk to me like I’m some whore putting notches on my bedpost! Don’t you ever talk to me with that kind of disrespect again! I’ve taken all the shit from a man that I’m going to!” She stomped her foot as she stared at him.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just so shocked, and a little mad, I admit. You know I can’t go with you. I have a daughter that I can’t leave behind, and her mother wouldn’t let me take her out of state anyway. And I have an aging, ill mother that I have to help take care of. And all my friends are here. I’ve lived in Missouri since I was six-years-old. My whole life is here.”

  “I understand,” Mandy said, and put her arms around Amos. She held him and felt his body shaking. Break my heart, Amos. I know you love me, but you’ll get over me. It’ll take me a good while to get over you, but I will. Just as I’ve had to get over loving, losing, and leaving people all my life.

  “If you’ve made up your mind and I can’t change it, then we’ll say our goodbyes now! I’ll leave and it’ll be the last time you’ll ever see me!” Amos was out the door before Mandy could say anything.

  She stood at the storm door and watched him drive away. “Well, if that’s the way you want it.” Her bottom lip trembled as she wiped her own tears and wondered if she’d be able to leave Amos and Jillian. She did love them.

  A few minutes passed as her mind spun in a whirlwind, then she felt a gentle squeezing on her right shoulder. Does that mean I’m supposed to go or I’m supposed to stay? Usually when I feel the shoulder squeeze, it means I’ve made the right decision. I’ll see what time brings. The house has to sell before I can do anything. She shrugged off the mixed emotions and headed into the kitchen. “It’s times like this when I need a stiff drink. It’s a good thing I don’t keep booze in the house. It would be very tempting right about now,” she mumbled, as if she were expecting a voice to talk back to her.

  After Amos left, Effy came back over. “He sure peeled out, burning rubber. I’m taking that it didn’t go so well, huh?”

  “No, he’s mad and he left and said it was the last time I’d ever see him. I really hate this, Effy. I think the world of him and I wanted us to spend all the time together we could before I leave. I’m so sorry I hurt him. I’m so sorry I—”

  Effy held up her hand. “Just hush. You hurt him worse than you’ll ever know. And if you’re really sorry, then you won’t leave. Call him and—never mind. You’ll do what you want to. But if you’re expecting sympathy, don’t look at me. Look it up in the dictionary. It’s between shit and syphilis!” Effy stormed out the door.

  “Well, I guess I’m going to piss off everybody before this is all said and done,” Mandy mumbled.

  The last of June, Mandy got an offer and the couple agreed to pay asking price, which Mandy had upped a few-thousand more than she’d paid for it. “I can’t flippin’ believe this. They didn’t even make an offer for a lower price?” she asked the agent.

  “They didn’t blink an eye. I’m probably not supposed to tell you, but they’re gonna pay cash for it. They sold their house in Mississippi. They want to have the closing before they leave town. But they said they’d give you thirty days before you have to move.”

  “Sold!” Mandy said. “I’ll head to Florida, find me a house and get it paid for, then I’ll load up and head out. We can have the closing this Friday after I get off from work.”

  The agent left with a big smile and Mandy smiled with her. Yep, the shoulder squeeze meant I was supposed to sell. Now how am I gonna break the news to Betty? I’m going to break another heart. I brought life back to her, now I’m going to take it from her. Spirits, I can use some help here. Betty needs you to guide the right person in her direction.

  That night while they were eating supper, Mandy told her children she’d be taking them to Kentucky the coming week, and she’d be heading to Florida to find them a new home. “You can stay your usual three weeks, because we’ve got until the last of July before we move. Abbie, you’ve got to stay with grandmother and granddaddy while Mommy goes to Florida. I might be gone a week. Please don’t cry. You’re almost seven and you’re a big girl.”

  “I won’t cry, Mommy. I can stay that long, but that’s all. You come back and get me in a week.”

  “That’s my big girl. Kati. Toni. Are you going to stay until the last of July? I can come get you a few days before the moving van pulls out.”

  “We’ll stay,” they said in unison. She beamed at her children, her love for them having no bounds.

  “At least I didn’t piss you three off.” She wiped her brow. One more person to break the news to. That’s gonna be the hardest one. As for Amos, he’ll be back. He’s just mad and hurt. I won’t leave this town until I see and hug Jillian. I love that girl so much. It feels as if I’ll be leaving one of my own behind. And I’m gonna hug Amos one more time.

  Mandy waited until it was time for her to leave Friday afternoon before she told Betty about her plans. “The sale came as a surprise to me and I’ve g
ot to get down to Florida and find me a home. I can’t even give a two week notice, but put an ad in the paper tomorrow. I can’t leave town until I know you’ll be taken care of.”

  Mandy choked back tears as she watched the expression on Betty’s face. It was as if she were watching her melt before her very eyes, and it reminded her of the wicked witch who had just gotten a pail of water thrown on her.

  Betty reached for Mandy’s hand. “Excuse my tears,” she said as she raised the tail of her gown and wiped her eyes. “You’ve given me the best two years of my life. I’m a dying woman, and I can’t expect you to put your life on hold just to take care of me until my times comes. At least I’ll leave this world with a happy heart as I remember your beautiful face, sweet smile, and all the fun we’ve had. You were more than I ever expected. Go with my blessings and be happy. Nobody will ever come close to replacing you, but I’ll find somebody.” Betty broke down and her whole body shook with sobs.

  Mandy felt as if Betty had reached inside her chest and ripped out her heart. “I’m so sorry, Betty.” Mandy hugged Betty with all her strength and it felt as if all her strength was leaving her own body.

  “I hate goodbyes. Let’s just say so long, until we meet again. And we will. Maybe not on this earth, but we’ll meet in Beyond. It’s a beautiful place. I’ve gotten a glimpse of it.”

  Betty buried her face in her hands. “In the sweet by and by,” she said, then waved her hand as her gesture for Mandy to leave.

  Mandy was in tears when she left Betty, but she gained control of her emotions by the time she reached the realtors office. She was still in a state of sadness about Betty, but when the agent handed her the check from the sale, she rejoiced and sighed. A new chapter in her life was going to begin and it was going to be a good one.

  After the closing, she had time to make it to the bank, deposit the check, save for a few hundred to make the trip with. She had a nice nest egg. She had saved a few-thousand when she bought the house, and she made a few-thousand when she sold it. Not bad money for two years, Nikko. You done good, girl. She snickered.

  That night, they all packed and the children called their grandparents and told them they were coming. Early Saturday morning, they were on the road. As they crossed the bridge over the Mississippi River and entered Illinois, Kati said, “We know we’re not supposed to mention about us moving to Florida.”

  “So, are you going to send Grandmother and Granddaddy a post card when we get to Florida?” Tony asked.

  “No, you kids can tell everybody about the move. Just wait until I’m out of Kentucky. Abbie, don’t let it slip until Mommy leaves in the morning. Okay? That way they’ll all have a week to come to terms with the move and maybe, just maybe, they’ll settle down a bit before I come back to pick you up.”

  “I tick a lock,” Abbie said, twisting her lips with her index finger and thumb.

  Mandy took Kati and Tony over to stay with Granny Pearl and Poppa Lester, then she took Abbie over to her parents. After a thirty minute visit, Mandy said, “Mother, please don’t start fussing and crying, but I’m going to go see Mammaw Randall and Aunt Lou and Uncle Carl tonight. And I’m leaving early in the morning. I’ll be back in a week, and I’ll spend the night with you and Dad.”

  Iris wiped her eyes. “You do what you want to, Amanda. You always do. It doesn’t seem to bother you in the least to break mine and your father’s hearts. I’m tired of arguing with you.”

  And I’m tired of your and Dad’s shit, she wanted to scream aloud. Instead, she said, “Thank you, Mother.” She looked down at Abbie. “Do you want to go visit your great-grandma and great-grandpa? And you have a great aunt and uncle who would be delighted to see you.”

  “Nah, I wanna play games with Grandmother and help her paint.”

  “Okay, sweetie. Mommy will be back before bedtime.”

  Mandy was overjoyed to see Mammaw and Pappaw. As she visited, time flew and she gathered memories as a honey bee gathered pollen. When she hugged them goodbye, a little voice told her it would be the last time she’d see them alive. But they’ve been as good as dead to me since I was ten. I’ve gotten calloused to losing everybody I love.

  They all hugged, exchanged ‘I love you’s, and Mandy hurried on her way.

  She drove over to see Aunt Lou and Uncle Carl. She was stunned when she saw how they had aged. In her mind she could still them as they were some 25 years ago. But she had also aged and they probably thought she should still look like the little girl of yesterday, she reasoned.

  It was a wonderful visit, and when she hugged them goodbye, she could feel the strong love and she knew they would be around for years to come. That brought her comfort and she stored them with her other memories for when she became old and reminiscent.

  As she was driving across town, she felt strong, warm arms enfold her. Stay with me. Protect me and keep me safe. I know you love me. Whoever you are.

  Chapter Twelve

  Mandy was awake by 6 o’clock the next morning and as she turned over, she gazed at Abbie who was sound asleep, so innocent and sweet. She bent and lightly kissed her sweet cheek. She eased out of bed, dressed, zipped her suitcase, and then headed into the kitchen. Iris was standing at the kitchen sink, staring out the window and wiping tears.

  “Good morning, Mother.” Mandy kissed Iris’s cheek.

  “It’s not a good morning for me. I haven’t had a good day for over two years. My heart will never mend. When you moved to Missouri, it was devastating for your father and I. I don’t think we’ll ever get over it.” Her shoulders bent over as a tear fell into the dishwater.

  Just wait until you find out about me moving to Florida. I sure hope Abbie doesn’t let it slip before I can get out of here and on the road.

  “Would you like some breakfast before you leave?” Iris asked, wiping her eyes on her apron tail.

  “No, thank you. I’m not hungry. Thanks. Where’s Dad?”

  “He’s out in the country, helping his old friends do a little fence repairing. He leaves by sunup, every morning.”

  “Well, tell him I’ll see him in a week. I’m not going to wake Abbie. I don’t want to take a chance on her crying when I leave. I hope she doesn’t put up a howl when it’s time to go to bed at night.”

  “She’ll be fine. You just go your merry way. Don’t worry about us,” Iris said as she blew her nose. “I sure hope you aren’t using us for babysitters so you’ll have a week to run wild with men.”

  Guilt trips don’t work anymore, Mother. “I’m sure you and Abbie will be fine. And I’m thirty-five. If I want to go wild, it’s my choice.” Mandy headed down the hallway, grabbed her suitcase, and she was out the front door, fuming. Bye, my sweet Abbie, she said silently as she stood on the sidewalk for a second and blew a kiss.

  Thirty miles up the road, Mandy stopped at a gas station, gassed up, then went to the restroom, changed into short shorts, a tank top, threw her bra into her purse, then slipped her feet into flip-flops. She gazed at herself in the wall mirror. “I think I look Floridian. And I love the look. I’ll fit right in.”

  Ten hours later, Mandy was in Valdosta, Georgia. I’m not going to be able to stay behind this wheel any longer. As much as I hate to spend the money, I’ve got to get a room for the night and find a decent place to eat. I can’t take any more fast food.

  She pulled into the parking lot of Travel Lodge. Mandy got out of the car, stretched, and placed her hands on her back to ease the ache from sitting for too long. Across the street she saw a sign, Family Style Dining. “Well, how do you do? A decent home cooked meal,” she mumbled, as she headed toward the office of the motel.

  She ate a wonderful meal, had a restful night’s sleep, and was back on the road by 7 am. As she crossed the Georgia/Florida state line, she said to herself, “With any luck, I’ll be on Clearwater Beach by noon. And I see a Waffle House right up the road. I think I’ll stop and have some waffles and tank up on coffee. I’ve got my thermos and I’ll fill it with coffee too.
And I’m talking to myself again.” She laughed.

  Five hours later, she drove across Tampa Bay, rolled down the windows and inhaled the saltwater air. She felt invigorated and her mind cleared. She crossed Highway 19 and took Gulf to Bay Boulevard until she came to the drawbridge that would take her to the beach. As she drove across the causeway, she was awestruck by the beautiful flowers and palm trees along the median.

  She took a left at the end of the causeway and she saw the Gulf of Mexico from the car window. She pulled into a parking space. “Hey, spirits, are you with me? I don’t have on a bathing suit, but I’m going to enjoy the beach for a few minutes before I go back into Clearwater and find a cheap motel. Do you want to stick your toes in the ocean with me?”

  Mandy got out of the car, kicked off her flip-flops and turned in circles. She was enchanted with the Sunshine State. She loved the feel of sand squishing between her toes as she made her way to the water. She sat down in the sand, basked in the sun and gazed across the vast ocean, listening to the waves breaking against the shore, feeling the balmy breeze blow across her face and through her hair. She felt soothed and at peace as the rhythm of the waves washed over her. She closed her eyes and let the sun kiss her face. She was in love with the tranquility and warmth that surrounded her.

  I’ve found my Paradise, she thought, and her heart knew she had made the right decision. She waited for a shoulder squeeze or a light tap to the back of her head. Instead she felt euphoric. She had no idea how long she just sat, looking at the beauty, her mind and body intoxicated with peace. Then she felt a hunger pang. She looked behind her and saw a concession stand.

  I think I’ll have me a hot dog, some fries and a Coke. Then I’ve got to get back to the mainland and find a place for the night, and start looking up realtors. I’ll come back to the beach and watch the sunset this evening.