Wings and Faith

by Joy Redmond

  After they had read one book, the phone rang. Mandy jumped up and raced for the phone, hoping it was Kati, and if not, then Tony. She desperately needed to hear from her two oldest children. “Hello!”

  “Amanda. How are you?”

  Mandy blew a sigh of disappointment. “I’m fine, Mother. How are you and Dad?”

  “We’re heartbroken. You haven’t been home in over a year and we just can’t stand the thought of you beating up Kati and throwing her out of the house and leaving her with no choice but to live in sin with a man. What—?”

  Mandy raised her voice. “Hold it right there! First of all, I get my vacations the last of July. That’s when Tony is back for the summer, and I spend my time with him and doing what he likes to do. I talk to you every week on the phone and I dutifully write a letter every week as you have always demanded. As for Kati, she’s a liar. I’ve never raised a hand to her, which is more than I can say for you and Dad. She dropped out of school and I told her she was going to find a job and support herself and that I wasn’t going to allow her to continue picking up strays on the beach and staying out all night with them.”

  Mandy braced herself against the wall, wondering why she was even bothering to explain things. But she continued. “She doesn’t have a boyfriend that she can live with because they’re all homeless, sleep on the beach, and use sand for a blanket. She wouldn’t be living with one, she’d be snuggled up with one. So, she called you with a sob story just to con money out of you and Dad so she could go back to Missouri and run wild with her old friend, who is also a dropout. If you’ve called to cry, preach, and lecture me, then our conversation is over!”

  Mandy heard Iris gasp as if she had swallowed her teeth. “I can’t believe what you’re saying. She said—”

  “Never mind what she said. I’m telling you how it is. She’s gone back to Missouri and my heart is breaking and I’m in no mood to discuss it. Call back next week.” Mandy hung up the phone. “That’s all I needed to top off my day,” she said, and she could feel her face heating and she wondered if the top of her head was going to blow off from her blood pressure shooting off the cuff.

  “Was that Grandmother?” Abbie asked, as she wrapped her arms around her mother’s waist.

  “Yes, honey. I know, Mommy wasn’t very nice, but I get so tired of being blamed for everything and being made to feel guilty about things I have no control over. I’m sorry I didn’t let you talk before I hung up. If you want, I’ll call her back—”

  Abbie didn’t let Mandy finish her sentence. “No, Mommy. I don’t feel like talking to her either. She’s always trying to get me to tell her things and I’m never sure what I’m supposed to say and what will get you in trouble if I say the wrong thing.”

  “Well, ain’t that a heck of a predicament for a child to be in. I’m so sorry, honey. But let’s try to put this day and night behind us. It’s been very emotionally draining for us. We’ll go on to bed and you can sleep with me tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll go to the beach, feed the seagulls, and build sand castles.”

  “Okay. Can Fluffy sleep with us? He sleeps with me every night.”

  “Sure. Fluffy can sleep with us and maybe he’ll purr us to sleep. Now, go brush your teeth and put on your nightgown. I’ll get myself ready, then the three of us will cozy up for the night.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Two months passed, and Mandy’s heart ached for Kati, and every day she hoped she’d get a phone call from her, but no call or letter came. She had trouble sleeping; tossing and turning, her mind on Kati and worrying if she was safe, wherever she was.

  One afternoon, she thought she’d take a chance and called Effy, hoping she’d seen or knew something about Kati’s whereabouts.

  Effy hesitated a few minutes, then said, “I’ve talked with Amos a few times when he comes into the bar. He said that Kati stayed with Cheryl for a week, then Cheryl took up with a man and Kati was pushed out of the house. So she went to stay with Jillian and her mom, but they had a falling out, and the last he heard, Kati was living with some man.”

  “Do you know the man’s name? Maybe I can find a number and call her.”

  “I don’t know his name, but I’ll ask Amos if he knows and I’ll try to find a number for you. If Kati contacts Jillian, I’ll tell Amos to tell her that you want to talk to her. Maybe Kati will call you. I really hate all this, Mandy. I can’t imagine the heartache and worry this is for you.”

  “There’s no way to explain it, Effy. Some days, I think I’ll completely lose my mind, but thanks for all the info you’ve given me, and if you can find a number or an address, I sure would appreciate it. By the way, how’s Amos doing? I haven’t heard a word from him either. But I didn’t really expect to. We said our goodbyes, and—”

  “You might have said your goodbyes and you may not have heard from him, but you’re all he talks about every time he comes into the bar. He’s still grieving over you. But you didn’t call to hear about his misery. I’ll do my best to find out all I can and I’ll give you a call. I love and miss you, girl. I hope you can come back to Missouri for a visit before long.”

  “Maybe someday, Effy. Right now, I just want to know where my daughter is. I’ll be in touch, or you can call me anytime. Thanks. Love you too. Bye.”

  Mandy hung up the phone and eased herself down on the stepstool that was under the wall phone in the kitchen. “Dear God. Help me get through all this. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.”

  Two days later the phone rang just as Mandy was getting ready for bed. She raced into the kitchen and grabbed the wall phone. “Hello!”

  “Hello, Mama. I hear you’ve been trying to find me. Miss me, huh?” Kati’s voice sounded as if she was thrilled to hear her mother’s voice, but she had to get in a dig. Typical Kati, Mandy thought.

  “I can’t tell you how good it is to hear from you. And yes, I miss you terribly. So, how are you doing? I hope you’re happy. Tell me what’s going on in your new life.”

  “Well, you won’t want to hear it, but I’m living with a man. He’s not what you’d approve of, and Effy and Amos and Jillian have already let me know as long as I stay with him, then I can stay away from them. So stay away I do. It’s my choice.”

  “Yes, it is, honey. As long as you’re happy with him, then we can all accept it, which I will. Just tell me about him.”

  Kati paused a few seconds. “Hold on to your shit and let me get this told. I’m pregnant, and you’re going to be a grandma. I’m getting married this Friday. We’re just going to the court house and have the Justice of the Peace perform the ceremony. I know you can’t come up here. Jillian refuses to have anything to do with me or Jay, and nobody else likes him, so it doesn’t matter. At least my baby will have a legal father. And he’s not as bad as everybody is making him out to be. He has a job. He’ll take care of me and the baby.”

  Mandy lost her breath for a long moment, but managed to say, “Honey, it takes more than a job to make a marriage. Do you love him?” Mandy’s world was tilting and she didn’t know how to make it stop. She was tortured by the pain she felt inside. She closed her eyes and forced herself to remain calm.

  “I love him enough, I guess. Marrying him beats having to work and be bossed around and having you in my business all the time.”

  Kati’s words were like an ice pick to Mandy’s heart. She fought back her anger and tears and continued. “You don’t have to get married just because you’re pregnant, and if you don’t really love him, things will just go from bad to worse. I learned that the hard way. Please don’t make the same stupid mistakes that I did. For once in your life, please listen to me. I’ll send you the money for a plane ticket and you can come home. Don’t do something you’ll regret.”

  “I’m getting married! I don’t care who likes Jay and who doesn’t. It’s my life. You never like anybody that I do, so I’ll stay here with my husband and baby and the rest of the world can kiss my ass!”

  “I was only offering you
a choice. Don’t get all huffy with me. Just know that I’ll be here to pick up the pieces when your fantasy world falls apart.”

  Kati hung up the phone. Will I ever say the right thing when it comes to her? I seriously doubt it, but I want it with my whole heart. Mandy placed the receiver on the hook and cried like a baby.

  Déjà vu, she thought. Eighteen and pregnant. Following in your mother’s footsteps.

  Two weeks before Christmas, the phone rang. Mandy jumped as if she had been goosed and her heart leapt at the same time. She hoped it was one of her children. “Hello?”

  “You have a collect call from Kati. Will you accept the charge?” the operator asked.

  “Yes! Kati, I’m so glad you called. You’ve been on my mind all day.” Mandy wanted to reach through the phone, grab her daughter, pull her through the miles of phone lines and hold her tightly.

  “I’m doing good, Mama. I really needed to hear your voice.” Kati paused as if she were at a loss for words.

  “I thought I would have heard from you before now, but since I don’t have a number for you, I just had to wait for you to call me. It’s so good to hear your voice. Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. Everything is fine. I got married. But we don’t have a phone, so I have to use a neighbor’s phone and call collect when I can. But we’ve got us a nice trailer in a decent trailer park. It has two bedrooms, a nice size kitchen and living room. The back bedroom will make a nice nursery. But the best part is, Jillian and her boyfriend are going to move in four trailers down from us. We’ll be close and like sisters again.”

  “That’s wonderful, honey! I’m so glad that you two are close again. Give her my love. I miss her so much. By the way, when am I going to be a grandma?”

  “I haven’t been to the doctor yet, but according to my last period, I should be due in June.” Kati laughed. “I’m going to make you an old grandma. But what I really called to tell you is— Jay and I are coming down to see you for Christmas. I need to get the rest of my things.”

  Mandy grabbed her heart. “Oh, honey, that’s wonderful! What a great Christmas present. And it’ll be nice to meet your husband.”

  “His name is Jay.”

  “Yes, it’ll be nice meeting Jay. And being able to hug you and pat your baby bump.”

  “I know, Mama. I’m excited about it too. How’s Abbie? I bet she likes having all your attention.”

  “She’s fine. And she misses her sister and brother. She’ll be very excited when she hears that you’re coming. What day will you be here?”

  “I’m not sure what day we’ll arrive, but I’ll call you when we head that way. I don’t want to run a phone bill up, so I’ll say bye and I’ll see you in two weeks. I love you, Mama.”

  “I love you, sweetheart. May the angels be with you. Have a safe trip and I’ll see you soon.” Mandy’s voice broke and she hung up the phone. She backed against the wall and braced herself and willed her trembling legs to hold her up. She closed her eyes and whispered, “Thank you, Lord. I really need to see my daughter.”

  Just as she finished her prayer of thanks, the phone rang again. She jumped as if Houdini had crawled up her leg. She blinked her eyes and wondered if she was going to be able to keep standing. On the third ring, she picked up the phone. “Hello,” she managed to say in as calm a voice as she could.

  “Amanda. How are you doing, honey?”

  “Oh, Mother. You took me by surprise. I just got a call from Kati, telling me she was coming home for Christmas, and I was reeling a bit. I’m so happy, I—”

  Iris interrupted. “Well, that’s wonderful. Your father and I will get to see her too. We’re coming down and Tony is coming with us. I just got off the phone with him. He’s all excited about coming, but he’ll be even happier when I tell him that Kati will be there too. Oh, this is going to be a great Christmas, even if your father and I do have to drive all the way to Florida to see everybody. We’re getting old and this trip is going to be hard on us, but we’ll make it. I just wish—”

  Mandy cut her off and said, “I’m glad you’re coming. And thanks so much for bringing Tony. Abbie won’t be able to control herself until everybody gets here. It’s good talking to you, Mother. I’ll see you, soon.”

  “We love you, Amanda.”

  “Love you too, Mother.” Mandy placed the phone back on the receiver as she felt the hole in her heart begin to fill up and she felt glued to the floor. All of her children would be with her for Christmas. And she wasn’t sure how she felt about her parents coming.

  Just as she was trying to comprehend it all, Abbie came running into the kitchen. “Can I have some ice cream, Mama? And Fluffy wants a bowl full too. Do we have chocolate?”

  “We’ve got chocolate, sweetie. So I’ll fix you, Fluffy, and me a big bowl full. We’ll take it into the TV room and Mama has got some great news to share.”

  Abbie picked up Fluffy and headed back to the TV room. Mandy fixed three bowls of ice cream. Her heart was so full of joy, she wondered if she’d be able to hang on for two weeks. She sat down beside Abbie, handed her a bowl of ice cream, and put a bowl on the floor for Fluffy. Before she took a bite she said, “The phone calls were from Kati and Grandmother. Kati and her husband are coming down for Christmas and so are Grandmother and Granddaddy, and they’re bringing Tony.”

  Abbie dropped her spoon into her bowl. “That’s cool, Mama! It’ll be like it used to be with all of us grabbing and unwrapping presents. I hope Grandmother doesn’t upset you.” Abbie dropped her head.

  “I won’t let Grandmother upset me. Nothing is going to spoil this Christmas. And tomorrow we’ll go up to the attic and drag down the tree and decorations. Then we’ll decorate the whole house.”

  “Why don’t we do it tonight? Tomorrow is Saturday and you don’t have to work.”

  “Good idea. Hurry up and eat the ice cream before it melts, then we’ll drag everything out and the decorating will begin.” Mandy hugged Abbie and her heart was filled to overflowing with love and happiness.

  Two hours later, the tree was up and decorated. Mandy stood back and let Abbie throw the silver tinsel, and wherever it landed was where it would stay.

  “Mama, where is the angel? I want to put her on top this year. Kati never would let me do it.”

  Mandy shuffled through the boxes. “Here she is. I don’t know how I missed her,” she said, as she carefully took the delicate ornament out of the tissue paper. “Go get the stepstool from the kitchen and I’ll let you put her on top.”

  Mandy kept her hands on Abbie’s back as she climbed the footstool, bent the top branch and placed the tiny angel in place. Then she steadied Abbie as she climbed back down. “She sure looks pretty up there. I love angels. And the wings on her look as if they could fly,” Mandy said. “Let’s plug in the tree and turn out all the house lights. I hope all the bulbs are working. I guess we should have checked them before we strung them, huh?”

  Abbie ran into the kitchen, turned out the ceiling light, then she ran back to the TV room and turned out the ceiling light and the lamp on the end table. Mandy plugged in the tree. It lit up like a neon sign. “Well, how about that? Every bulb is glowing. Isn’t it beautiful? Let’s stand across the room so we can get the full effect of the colored lights.”

  They backed across the room and stood in the doorway between the TV room and dining area, hugging each other. They looked at the tree and both stood in reverent silence at the beauty. The tree sparkled and the lights seemed to dance as the tree proudly showed off its finery.

  It was beauty, peace, and happiness. Memories of Christmases past played a song in Mandy’s mind as they raced across her heart. Within a second, Mandy gasped and squeezed Abbie’s hand, not sure what she was seeing until Abbie said, “Mama, look! The white angel turned purple. How did it do that?”

  “I have no idea, honey. But that’s the prettiest purple angel I’ve ever seen,” she managed to whisper. With exception of the one that was on the Christmas tree when I
was six years old, she thought. She’d never told her children about Purple Angel sitting on top of the Christmas tree on the first Christmas after Daddy had left her, her mother, and three brothers. She smiled and tears filled her eyes as she remembered how Purple Angel had smiled and waved at her that sad Christmas morning, so many years ago.

  “Let’s get ready for bed, honey. You can sleep with Mama and so can Fluffy.”

  Abbie scampered off. Mandy was almost blinded with tears as she continued to stare at the beautiful angel who had a purple glow, though there was no purple light on the tree. She wiped her eyes. Just as she turned to walk out of the room, she stumbled backward and grabbed for the doorframe.

  Purple Angel flapped her wings.

  Is my mind playing tricks on me? Mandy waved. Purple Angel flapped her wings again. Hello, my sweet angel. Thanks for paying a visit. You couldn’t have come at a better time. Please stay with me.

  Mandy jumped when Abbie grabbed at her shirttail. “Mama, did that angel flap her wings?”

  “Did you see it too?” Mandy asked, wondering how Abbie saw the same thing. Nobody but she had ever seen Purple Angel before.

  “I see it. She flapped them hard. How did she do that?”

  Mandy hugged Abbie, tightly. “Well, honey, I think she wants us to know that she’s with us and everything is going to be okay. She’s here to protect us and bring us great joy.”

  “That’s just too cool,” Abbie said, and waved at Purple Angel.

  The purple glow dimmed until the angel was pure white again.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Every night Mandy watched the beautiful angel that sat on top of the tree. She wanted to see it glow purple again, or flap its wings, but it remained white with a golden glow. Her heart warmed as memories of the special deity of her childhood tiptoed through her mind and she went back in time to when Purple Angel always came to her in her darkest hours.