Ultimate Sin

by Clarissa Wild

  My lips part. “For me?” For a second, I think he’s joking, but the serious look on his face tells me otherwise. “I’ve never …”

  He bites his bottom lip and grins at the same time. “Received a present?”

  “No, but … thank you, Master,” I say, swallowing away the tears.

  He grabs a knife off the table and holds it out to me. I look at it, wondering if I should take it from his hand. But the more I think about it, the more scared I get. It’s a weapon I could easily use against him. Why does he trust me so much?

  His forehead creases and he grabs my hand, shoving the knife in my hand as if he won’t take no for an answer. I just keep staring at it, wondering what I’ve done to deserve his trust.

  I could hurt him … then again, I would never actually do it.

  Maybe he knows.

  “Well, open it then.” He pats the box.

  Smiling, I carefully cut through the tape until the box can be opened and quickly place the knife back on the table. He watches me patiently, but with a tense smile on his face, as I open the box slowly and peek inside, almost too nervous to actually look.

  But when I see what’s inside, I hold my breath and my eyes widen.

  Books. Movies. Magazines. Tons and tons of them.

  The magazines are on top, enticing me to pick them up and read them. Some are about women and fashion; another is about the outdoor world. There’s one about sports, then another about the economy, one about lifestyle (whatever that is), and another about decorations … and plenty more. They must be filled with pictures from the outside world.

  I pick up one of the books, and it feels new in my hands. It’s a history book, and it smells so good. Same goes for the next one, a book about animals, and then there’s another one about technology, and another about science. I smell them all like some crazed fanatic, but then I spot Master Marcus frowning and grinning at the same time as he glares at me with a peculiar look on his face.

  I love this.

  I really do. Not because I’ve never seen it before … I know there are books that teach people about the world … I sometimes sneaked a few looks in them when my previous Master wasn’t looking. One of his older servants who was taken at a later age taught me how to read. But I’ve never been given the gift of knowledge for free … handed to me by my very own Master.

  “Are these really … for me?” I ask.

  “All of it,” he says.

  “Thank you …” I mutter, holding one of the books close to my heart. “Thank you so much, Master.” A tear wells up in my eyes as his cheeks turn a little red, and an overwhelming sense of gratitude fills me.

  “Can I … can I hug you, Master?”

  He smiles gently and opens his arms, allowing me to fall into him like a pillow. I sigh in his chest, sniffing, pushing away the tears as I feel the warmth flows through me.

  An intense joy makes me smile brightly, knowing that my Master wants to give these to me. It’s as if I’ve been given everything the world has to offer.

  “Thank you so much,” I whisper. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this, but thank you, Master.”

  He runs his fingers through my hair as he pets me. “You don’t have to do anything to deserve this, Ava. Just be yourself. I want you to learn everything there is to know about this world. I know it’s not much, but we have to start somewhere.”

  “Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly ever want more,” I say, gazing up into his eyes.

  “You should,” he says. “Always keep searching for more. Feed your brain, Ava. You don’t need my permission to learn about this world. Knowledge is free and it’s a right of any human being.”

  “A right?” I mumble.

  He grips my chin and caresses my cheek softly. “Yes. You are just as much of a human being as any of us are.”

  His words touch me in a way I can’t explain. I’m finally learning there is more to this life than serving … that I can be more than just a servant. These books tell me a story of a life I could have had. A life I could still have … I need only grasp.

  “Now. These are all yours. I want you to read them all. Don’t think you aren’t allowed. You can read as many of them as you want, whenever you want. Go as slow or as fast as you like,” he says.

  “I will, Master.”

  “And don’t forget about the videos,” he adds.

  “Oh, I won’t stop until I’ve read and watched them all.” I gloat.

  “Good girl,” he says, his thumb gently rubbing my lips. His eyes soften, and he leans forward, almost as if he intends to kiss me, but then he stops, looks at me, and smiles.

  He clears his throat and nods then breathes out a sigh. “All right. Well, pick out a book you like then.”

  “I want to read this one first.” I show him the book I was holding. “If that’s okay with you, of course.”

  He takes a step back as if he’s about to leave me. “You do whatever you want to do, Ava. I want you to enjoy.”

  “I … I want to know why,” I ask, gazing at the floor. “Why are you so kind to me?”

  He cocks his head. “Kind? Do you consider it kind when someone gives you what you should have been given to begin with? I don’t call that kind. I call that making up for lost time.”

  His lip quirks up briefly, and it makes me wonder why he’s so adamant about me not being grateful toward him. “It still doesn’t change the fact that you’re sweet to me. My Masters have never been sweet to me, but you are.”

  “I’m not sweet, Ava.” His tone suddenly changes, and his balled fist tells me I’ve crossed the line. “Don’t say that, please.”

  “Sorry, Master.”

  “It’s okay, but don’t put me on a pedestal, please. I’m not sweet. I’m not kind. I’m not good. I’m not any of those things you think I am.”

  “Then what are you?” I hesitantly step toward him again.

  “Nothing like you want me to be. That doesn’t mean I won’t try, but …” He sighs. “How could a man be deemed good when all he’s done in his past is ruin other people’s lives?”

  “You’re good if you changed. You’re good when you do these things for me,” I say.

  When I try to grab his hand to show it’s okay, he jerks it away. “No, Ava. One good thing doesn’t erase a whole lot of bad things.”

  “Then tell me all the bad things. If I know everything, and I still think you’re nice, would you believe me?”

  Anger flashes across his face. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew the truth.”

  “I promise I won’t turn my back on you. I won’t run. Not even if it’s the worst kind,” I say, gulping down the fear of the unknown. “I think I can say I’ve been through worse.”

  His face contorts with disbelief, his eyes shutting as if he’s trying to come to terms with something. He lets out another long breath. “Ask me then. Ask me what I do for a living. Ask me who those people were that came to visit me the other day.”

  “What do you do?” I ask, as requested.

  “I kill people. Have done so for many years.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we get paid to do it.”

  “And that’s it?” I frown. I was right; I have seen worse.

  “No. It’s not even half of it.”

  “Then tell me more … please.”

  He swallows. “Our company has multiple divisions. The people you saw are part of that company. Two of them are heads of the assassin divisions. We get our jobs from people who hire us.”

  “And what about you?”

  “I maintain order,” he says, his eyes like that of a devil, flaring with rage but not directed at me. “I make sure that all divisions act according to a set of rules that were designed to keep the company from being exposed to the general public.”

  “So you make the rules …”

  “No, I uphold them. And I punish those who overstep them.”

  “So you kill your own people?” I ask.

  “If
it’s required.”

  The coldness in his voice brings a chill to my bones.

  “Why do you do this?” I don’t even use the words Master or Marcus anymore. I don’t know why. Perhaps, it’s my curiosity, the need to know him better, that makes me so careless and hasty in my questions. I don’t think he minds, though.

  “Because someone has to do it.”

  “Why not someone else then?”

  His eyes narrow and his nostrils flare. “Because I’m the only one who can.”

  “So you’re forced to do this?”

  “There is no answer to that question. I guess you could say I kind of rolled into it,” he says.

  “Do you like killing people?” He swallows, his brows drawing together, so I add, “Sorry if I ask too many questions.”

  “I don’t enjoy any of it, but I do it because I must. I have no other choice.”

  “But you’re the leader of your division. You make the choices.”

  “It’s not as simple as that, Ava.” He grinds his teeth. “I came into this company young, inexperienced, and incredibly naïve. I didn’t realize at the time what I was getting myself into, but there comes a point in one’s life when it’s too late to turn back. I passed that point a long time ago. People expect me to continue with what my predecessor taught me or the consequences will be grave … so I will.”

  I feel like I’m only getting tiny bits of information from him, but it’s better than nothing at all.

  “What about the others?” I ask.

  “They all run divisions across the globe. Then there was one of them who is what we call a ‘Snatcher.’”

  That word makes my heart pound in my throat, and my senses are suddenly on high alert.

  “Snatcher …” I repeat, pronouncing each syllable as if it’ll help me understand it better.

  “They are the ones who steal people off the streets and sell them to whoever pays the highest price.”

  “I … was snatched.” It sounds like a question, but it’s not.

  He nods. “You were brought to Vladim’s division, who in turn sold you to DeLuca.”

  “How do you know all this?” I stammer.

  “Because they all work for the same company. The same company that I am part of.”

  Trembling, I stumble backward, latching onto the table as if it’ll keep me standing. The air is sucked out of my lungs. I feel like I’m being dropped from a ten-story building.

  “You … you work with the men who made me a servant?”

  “Yes,” he says.

  His admission makes my heart stop.

  I can’t believe what I’m hearing, yet for some reason, I know it’s the truth.

  I try to stay put, but my legs shake from the compulsion to run.

  Should I?

  Why not?

  But he’s Master Marcus, the kindest man I’ve ever met. Yet after this revelation, I don’t know what I should feel or think about him anymore. He was right. Not everything is as it seems. A wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing is, and always will be, a wolf, able to devour its prey whole.

  I’ve been traded.

  From one Master to the next.

  I wasn’t just sold … I’m still in the clutches of the monsters who took me that day.

  “Am I still nice?” he asks. “Am I kind? Huh?” His face predicts thunder. “Tell me!” His voice erupts.

  His screams echo in my ear, but nothing equates to the silence in my head. Still, I don’t dare answer.

  “Do you see it now, Ava?” he growls. “Do you see the monster in me now?”

  “No …” I mutter.

  I don’t know what compels me to respond. What drives me to say no.

  Perhaps, it’s my wish that he would remain sweet, at least in my head. He’s my angel. My knight in shining armor.

  Except, now he’s proven he isn’t, and I don’t want that image I had of him to shatter.

  “I’m just as much of a bad guy as they are,” he says, his brows furrowed, his jaw clenched. “There’s no way around it.”

  “I don’t believe it …” I say.

  He shakes his head, muffling a laugh. “Tsk. Believe it or not, it doesn’t make it any less true.” He clears his throat. “Now, I have some business to attend to. I’m sure you can keep yourself busy.”

  He turns around and walks toward the door, but then pauses to glance over his shoulder. “It’s time to stop being naïve, Ava. Read the books. Watch the videos. I’ll be back later.”

  Before I can ask where he’s going, he’s already out the door.

  13

  Marcus

  I didn’t want to tell her, but I felt like I had no other choice.

  The moment she said she thought I was nice, I had to put a stop to it.

  I’m not who she thinks I am, and I will never be the knight in shining armor she wants me to be.

  Despite the fact I’ve told myself time and time again that I can be more than a villain, I can’t just be ‘good’ with the snap of a finger. Her telling me I’m kind doesn’t make me any less of a monster. It doesn’t change my past. It doesn’t give back the lives I took to those who deserve it. It doesn’t make any of it okay.

  And I don’t want it to.

  It’s a sense of self-righteousness, the need to punish oneself for one’s sins that drives me to push her away.

  Maybe it’s foolish, but it feels right at the moment not to succumb to her thankfulness.

  Not yet, at least. It’s too soon.

  Maybe it’ll always be too soon.

  No matter how many times I try to feel passionate and thoughtful toward her, this voice in the back of my head will always keep telling me that I’m not worthy of her.

  That I’m not worthy of anyone’s love and I’m destined to die alone.

  That I deserve it.

  And honestly … I believe it’s true.

  I can’t let her get too close.

  If it makes me a coward, so be it.

  I’d rather be a coward than a man who gave in too easily, too soon.

  The moment she hugged me, I could sense she’d become too attached to me. I can’t let her fall for me. Not for my own protection, but for hers. I want to help her, give her a better future, but her emotions are getting in the way of that. She thinks she’s in the right place living under my wing, but she has no clue how wrong she is.

  I am the ugly monster who lurks in the dark.

  The obscure, two-faced man hiding behind a mask.

  One who feels remorse behind a veil of sins.

  But today, I seek to repent myself. As I make my way into the small coffee shop in the middle of the city, I already spot The Lady sitting at a table in the corner, eyeing me from above her steaming cup of coffee. An amusing smile appears on her face as I sit down on the chair opposite to her.

  “Hello Marcus,” she says, eyeing me as if she’s surprised I came.

  “I’m not here for small talk,” I say abruptly, not in the mood for her nonsense. Ever since I became the leader, she’s been trying to get on my sweet side, but it isn’t happening.

  “Oh, c’mon, can’t we just talk for once?”

  “No,” I say, frowning. “I’m here for business.”

  “Hmm … I’ve been buzzing to know what it meant when you said you wanted us to secretly meet in public.”

  “It just means that I don’t trust you when we’re not in public or in my own home. This had to do.”

  “Oh, Marcus. I would be offended, if I didn’t know you better,” she muses, taking another sip from her coffee. “But at least let me buy you a cup of coffee.”

  “Actually,” I say, pulling an envelope from my pocket. “I just came to buy something from you.”

  “Buy?” She furrows her brows at the envelope I scoot across the table. “What would I have that you would want to buy?”

  “Number five-eight-six-two.”

  Her eyes widen and her lips part, then she places her cup down. “Are you serious?”
/>
  “As serious as that stack of money in that envelope. Aren’t you going to open it?” I say, raising a brow.

  She hesitantly picks it up from the table and checks its contents, only to narrow her eyes at me. “What do you want with him?”

  “None of your business.”

  “Then I’m not interested.” She throws the envelope back at me as if it means nothing to her, even though it’s a considerable amount.

  “C’mon. I’m sure we can make a deal.”

  “Not until you tell me why you want him,” she says.

  “Because I liked him when I saw him at your side the other day. He was your personal guard at the meeting, wasn’t he?”

  Her swallowing tells me I’m right.

  “Whatever. I’m not selling him.”

  “You don’t mean that. Name your price. Anything.”

  Her eyes flash with excitement. “Anything?”

  “Anything. Except Ava. She’s not for sale.”

  She sighs. “So you would put your whole house on the line, but not that girl?”

  “It’s a matter of principles,” I muse. “Now, are you going to take me up on my offer?”

  She leans back and sighs, pouting. “Well, as he’s a guard, I’ve only been able to see him in combat so far. But he’s gorgeous, and I’ve only had a few nights of fun with him so far.”

  “Get to the point please,” I say, not amused.

  “Fine. You want me to sell him? I will only do it once I’ve had at least one more night of no-holds-barred fun with him … if you get what I mean.”

  I raise my hands. “Hey, I’m not stopping you.”

  “I wasn’t finished yet,” she warns. “I want you to organize a party.”

  I frown. “I don’t do parties.”

  “I’m not talking about a regular party … I’m talking about the special ones your predecessor sometimes organized.” She leans forward. “The kind of party where skin meets skin, bodies grind, and juices flow.”

  It feels like a jolt of lightning shoots through my veins.

  Just a split second is all it takes to realize what she’s asking of me.

  I’m not sure I can say yes … but she leaves me no other choice.

  “Deal,” I say, holding out my hand. “One night of partying at my home. Afterward, he stays. You go.”