ATHENA THE BRAIN

by Joan Holub; Suzanne Williams

  Zeus came out from behind his desk, and Athena stared at him in awe. He was nearly seven feet tall, with bulging muscles and piercing blue eyes. Wide, flat, golden bracelets encircled both of his wrists. She couldn’t help shuddering when she noticed his thunderbolt belt buckle.

  He lifted the file cabinet out of her way as if it weighed no more than a footstool. Then he waved her into the chair across from his desk.

  “Come! Sit!” he thundered.

  Come? Sit? What did he think she was, his pet poodle? Eyeing the thunderbolt buckle, Athena sat.

  Now that she was closer, she saw that the statue he’d been carving was actually a trophy of some kind. And it was the ugliest one she’d ever seen. It was probably supposed to be an eagle, or maybe a vulture or a pelican, holding bolts in its beak. But it was so badly crafted that it was impossible to tell. Though it was unfinished, he’d already carved some words on the front of the stone block the bird sat on:

  GRAND PRIZE WINNER

  OF THE

  Zeus lowered himself back into the huge golden throne behind his desk. Leaning forward, he shoved the trophy aside and folded his hands on the desktop. “Now, what can I do you for?” he asked.

  “Um,” said Athena, feeling confused. “You asked me to come, remember?”

  “Huh?”

  “I’m Athena.”

  “Athena?”

  “You know–your d-daughter?”

  Zeus’s face lit up like lightning had struck it. “Athena! My most favorite daughter in the whole wide universe. Welcome!”

  He reached over the desk, grabbed her up, and gave her a big hug that squeezed all the breath out of her. Electricity fizzled from his fingertips, zapping her.

  “Ow!” she yelped.

  Suddenly Zeus got a weird look on his face. He set her back down and knocked the palm of his meaty hand against the side of his head. Tiny thunderbolts shot out from between his fingers in all directions, leaving steaming holes in a nearby chair, the wall, and a bottle of Zeus Juice.

  “Stop it!” he grumped.

  “Stop what?” Athena asked, gripping the arms of her chair nervously.

  “I’ll tell her already, Metis,” he said. “You’re such a headache sometimes!”

  “Who are you talking to?” asked Athena, looking around to see if there was someone else in the room with them.

  “Your mom,” Zeus told her. “She says to tell you good luck on your first day, by the way.”

  Athena’s heart did a little thumpity-thump. Well, of course she had a mom. Didn’t everyone? But she’d thought her mother must be dead, since Zeus hadn’t mentioned her in his letter. It had never occurred to her that she’d find both her parents on Mount Olympus.

  “Where is she?” Athena asked, glancing eagerly around the room again.

  “In here,” Zeus said, tapping his forehead with a fingertip.

  “Oh,” said Athena, her eagerness giving way to disappointment. “I guess you must mean that she’s still alive in your memories. Or something like that.”

  “Nonsense,” said Zeus. “What I mean is that she’s actually inside my skull. She’s a fly, you know.”

  “A fly?” Athena echoed weakly, thinking she must’ve heard wrong. “As in a hairy-legged, two-winged, compound-eyed insect of the order Diptera?”

  “Exactly right! And she’s always bugging me about something.” Zeus kicked back in his chair, propping his gold-sandaled feet on the desk. “But she’s still a goddess, and she loves you. As much as an insect can, anyway.”

  Athena just stared at him, openmouthed. Talk about weird! This certainly put the odd in goddess!

  “Better close your mouth. You’ll catch flies.” Zeus guffawed at his own joke, slapping his knee.

  “But how can she actually live inside your, um . . . ,” Athena babbled, gesturing at his forehead. She needed to know more, but hardly knew where to begin her questions. Wrapping her mind around the idea of having a fly as a mother wasn’t going to be easy.

  Zeus didn’t seem to notice her confusion. “Well, Theeny,” he went on, “now that I’ve gone to all the trouble of bringing you to Mount Olympus Academy, I hope you’ll do me proud. The schoolwork here is harder than you’re used to. Think you can handle it?”

  Abandoning her attempt to come to terms with the revelation about her mother for the moment, Athena sat up straighter, trying to appear confident. “Sure.”

  “That’s my goddessgirl!” Zeus boomed enthusiastically.

  Athena rubbed her temple. She was getting a headache herself just listening to him. He was the loudest talker she’d ever met.

  Just then a goddessgirl poked her head in the door. “Knock, knock,” she said.

  “Who’s there?” Zeus replied, grinning as if he expected her to continue on with a joke.

  “I’m Pheme. From Mr. Cyclops’s class? He sent me to see if you were done with Athena. I’m supposed to take her back to Hero-ology.”

  Each word she spoke puffed from her lips like miniature smoke writing. Fascinating!

  Zeus nodded. “Fine, fine. I think we’re through here, aren’t we, Theeny?”

  “Well . . .” Athena had planned to ask if Pallas could visit her. And now she also had a thousand questions to ask about her mom.

  But before she could get the words out, Zeus jumped up and roared, “Excellent! Now mind what I said–get out there and learn!” He punched the air with his fist as though to cheer her on.

  Startled, Athena scrambled from her chair. “O-okay.”

  As she followed Pheme out of Zeus’s office, he picked up his chisel again and started to work on his trophy, looking as if he’d already forgotten her. Chink, chink, chink!

  “So what did you think of him?” Pheme asked once they were out in the hallway. Mesmerized by the sight of the cloudlike words coming from Pheme’s mouth, Athena answered distractedly, “He’s not what I expected, that’s for sure.”

  “So you think he’s kind of nutty?” Pheme puffed.

  “No, that’s not what I meant,” said Athena.

  “Then you think he’s a blowhard?”

  “No!” The girl was twisting her words. “He just seems to have a lot on his mind, being principal of the school and King of the Gods and all.”

  “And being your dad, too,” Pheme added slyly.

  Suddenly Athena wondered how much of her conversation with Zeus Pheme had overheard. “Yeah. Um, did you have to wait for me outside his office very long?”

  Pheme’s eyes shifted away, and she toyed with her short, spiky orange hair.

  Athena sighed. “Long enough to hear the stuff about my mom?”

  The girl nodded, grinning. “Uh-huh. But don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.” She pressed her thumb and finger together at the corner of her orange-glossed lips and twisted them, as if turning a key to lock them shut.

  Athena smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  The end-of-period lyrebell sounded as they reached Mr. Cyclops’s classroom.

  “See you later,” said Pheme. “Gotta meet up with some friends.” With that, she ran over to several goddessgirls at the back of the room–a group that included Medusa.

  As Athena gathered her scrolls and bag to lug to her second-period class, she saw the girls whispering with their heads close together. Looking up, Medusa smirked at her.

  “What is Pheme the goddess of?” Athena asked, catching up with Aphrodite on the way out of the room.

  Aphrodite wrinkled her nose. “Gossip.”

  Athena gulped. That didn’t sound good at all! If the other students hadn’t already known her mom was a fly, it wouldn’t be long before they found out. Could things get any worse?

  “I’ve got my favorite class next–Beauty-ology!” Aphrodite told her as the two of them stepped into the hall. “How about you?”

  “Beast-ology,” said Athena.

  “Look out–I hear the teacher is a total monster!” a godboy quipped, pushing past them. Squish, squish. It was Poseidon.<
br />
  Athena laughed, and he smiled over his shoulder at her.

  For some reason, Aphrodite looked stunned that he’d paid attention to them. “Poseidon is one of the most popular godboys in school,” she whispered close to Athena’s ear.

  Slowing, Poseidon spun around to walk backward alongside them. “I’m in Beast-ology next too,” he told Athena. “Want me to show you the way?”

  “Sure, thanks,” said Athena.

  Still looking amazed, Aphrodite gave her a little wave. “I’m off. Beauty-ology is in the other direction, so I’ll see you later.”

  “Okay,” said Athena.

  When Poseidon turned to lead her to their next class, he bumped into Medusa. “Oh, sorry.”

  “No problem,” Medusa said in a sweet voice.

  Shocked at the change in her, Athena did a double take. Medusa was staring at Poseidon with a dreamy, love-struck expression. He responded by shooting her a blinding white smile. What a flirt!

  But Athena forgot all about Medusa as she and Poseidon got to their next class and passed the teacher in the doorway. “Welcome to Beassstology. I’m Missster Ladon,” he told them. Licks of fire flew from his lips with each word. A couple of embers floated down to land on Athena’s scrolls.

  Smacking the papyrus before it could catch fire, Athena managed to introduce herself in return.

  “Mr. Ladon’s got the worst dragon breath of any teacher in school,” Poseidon joked as she chose a seat. Grinning, he took the desk right behind hers. Immediately a bunch of goddessgirls rushed for the empty seats nearest to him, each vying for his attention.

  Athena couldn’t help feeling amused. Did every girl in the academy have a crush on him? Pallas would be happy to know he was as cute as she’d hoped, but she might not like knowing what a flirt he was. At least he wasn’t stuck-up.

  AFTER BEAST-OLOGY, IT WAS LUNCHTIME. IN the cafeteria, an eight-armed, octopus-like lunch lady served the line of students from orange clay bowls decorated with black silhouetted figures. Athena didn’t recognize any of the foods being served and didn’t know what to choose. What was yambrosia? Or nectaroni? Or cheese styx?

  The big celestial salad didn’t look too weird. She chose that and a carton of nectar to drink. And last but not least, she selected a big cookie from a basket that was full of them.

  Athena took her tray into the lunchroom. She didn’t see Aphrodite, so she headed for an open spot at a nearby table.

  “Do you hear a buzzing noise, Sthenno?” a snarky voice asked as she sat down.

  Oh, no! She’d chosen the same table where Medusa and her two sisters sat! Athena ignored them, hoping they’d decide to ignore her, too.

  No such luck.

  One of Medusa’s sisters tilted her head, like she was listening to something. “Sounds sort of like a mosquito, don’t you think, Euryale?”

  “No, more like a bee,” her sister Sthenno answered.

  “Or–I know–a fly!” said Medusa.

  Pheme must have blabbed what she’d heard in Zeus’s office!

  “Cute,” Athena muttered. “Very. I wonder if there’s anything about bullies in the Goddessgirl Guide?” Pointedly, she pulled the pink scroll from her bag.

  Grinning nastily, Medusa stood with her tray. “C’mon, Sthenno, Euryale. Let’s go find another table. For some reason, this one’s giving me a headache.”

  “Maybe you swallowed Athena’s mom,” said Sthenno.

  Giggling like that was the funniest joke they’d ever heard, all three left for another table.

  Hoping no one had noticed how rudely she’d been abandoned, Athena set the pink scroll aside and finished her salad. Then she opened the Guide to take a look. A delicious perfumey smell drifted from it as she unrolled the pink papyrus.

  The first chapter told her a lot about gods and goddesses. It said that goddess moms and god dads were very busy and sometimes forgot all about their kids for years at a time. Well, that explained about Zeus not contacting her until now.

  Athena ran a finger down the scroll. “Gods and goddesses stay immortal by eating a divine confection called ambrosia and by sipping nectar,” she read. So that’s what the fountains of Mount Olympus spouted!

  She kept reading, but no matter how much she unrolled the slender scroll, it never seemed to end. It was some kind of magic, she realized, that allowed a lot of information to fit within a small scroll of papyrus. She skimmed partway through, noticing that the Guide also listed school rules–which included no bullying, a dress code, and ways to smite mortals. She was going to love learning how to do that. Though, of course, she’d never smite any nice mortals like Pallas.

  Sighing, she wished Pallas were here right now. Then she’d have someone friendly to talk to. Shoving the pink scroll aside, Athena pulled out a ball of yellow yarn. Knitting relaxed her, and it would help disguise the fact that she was a loser with no friends. The soft click, click of her needles was a comforting sound.

  When lunch period was nearly over, she remembered the cookie. Finding it under the pink scroll, she tore off the wrapper and bit into it.

  Instantly, a small, dramatic voice announced, “You’ll be famous.”

  “What?” Athena looked around, her eyes wide. No one was near.

  “Who said that?” she asked. But no one answered. She took another bite.

  “You’ll be famous,” the little voice said again. It was coming from the cookie!

  Athena dropped it on the table, eyeing it warily. “Um, are you alive?”

  Silence.

  Leaning closer, she read the cookie’s wrapper: oracle-o cookie. Oracles told fortunes. It was a fortune cookie! A talking one, apparently. She got up to throw away her trash, unsure what to do with the cookie. Fortunes were always so silly, but she couldn’t eat the cookie now that she knew it talked.

  “Well, so long,” she said uncertainly, leaving it on the table. On the way out of the lunchroom, a poster on the wall caught her eye.

  INVENTION FAIR

  INVENT SOMETHING THE GREEKS ADORE, AND

  YOU’LL BE FAMOUS!

  (PLUS YOU’LL GET EXTRA CREDIT.)

  ENTRIES DUE: FRIDAY

  JUDGES: GREEK MORTALS

  You’ll be famous? What a coincidence that those were the exact words her fortune cookie had just spoken.

  Athena glanced back at her table just in time to see a froggy-looking lunch lady unroll her long, sticky tongue and flick Athena’s half-eaten cookie into her mouth. She went on to other tables, eating bits of leftover food here and there, and then wiping the tabletops.

  Ugh! Athena returned her gaze to the poster. Below it was a stack of entry blanks. She peeled one off. Maybe she’d enter.

  Just then she heard a familiar squish, squish sound behind her. Poseidon.

  “Planning to enter?” he asked her.

  Athena took a step back. The three-pronged trident he was holding was dripping on her shoes. Had he been swimming? “Maybe,” she said. “You?”

  “Sure. And I’m in it to win.” He cocked his head, considering her. “Rumor has it you’re pretty brainy. If you want, I’ll let you be my assistant. You can help me with my idea.”

  He’d let her be his assistant? Suddenly Poseidon didn’t seem quite as handsome anymore. “Thanks, but I’ve got my own ideas,” Athena said, a little annoyed. “By the way, your pitchfork’s dripping,” she added, purposely calling it by the wrong name.

  “It’s a trident!” he said, tapping the tip of its long handle on the floor for emphasis.

  “Whatever,” Athena said lightly. “See ya.” Spotting Aphrodite among a group of girls nearby, she stuffed the entry form in her pocket and headed toward her.

  “Hi,” said Aphrodite. “Thinking of trying out?”

  “For what?” asked Athena.

  “Goddessgirl Squad.” When Athena looked blank, Aphrodite pointed toward a sign-up sheet posted on the wall. “Mount Olympus Academy is the home of the Fightin’ Titans. The GG Squad cheers them on at the Olympic Games. Cha
riot and foot races. Javelin and discus throwing. Wrestling. You know, stuff like that.”

  One of Aphrodite’s friends–the dark-haired goddessgirl beside her–began to wave her arms in a choreographed move, no easy feat with a bow and a quiver slung over her shoulder. She burst into a cheer: “We’re mighty! We’re fightin’! We’re the mighty, fightin’ Titans! Woo-hoo!”

  “Woo-woo!” The three dogs by her side–a bloodhound, a greyhound, and a beagle–howled along with her as she did a high kick.

  “Wow, that was great!” said Athena.

  “Thanks. Persephone made that one up,” the girl said modestly, referring to the red-haired goddessgirl next to her.

  Aphrodite introduced the girl with the dogs as Artemis, and the girl with the curly red hair as Persephone.

  “You should try out. We could use some new blood on the squad,” Persephone told Athena in a soft voice.

  She was so pale she looked like she could use some new blood herself, thought Athena. “I don’t know . . . ,” she began.

  “You’ll get to hang out with the cute guys on the Titans team,” Aphrodite said, smiling and arching one perfect eyebrow. “Poseidon is one of them.”

  “You’ve got a one-track mind,” Artemis teased, gently elbowing Aphrodite. “Who cares about dumb ol’ godboys? I joined the squad to keep in shape.”

  “I’m not sure I’ve got time for any extracurriculars,” said Athena doubtfully. And she didn’t care about hanging out with Poseidon, that was for sure. He was much too full of himself.

  “Being on the GG Squad looks good on your academic record,” Persephone coaxed.

  Zeus would probably like it if she made the squad, Athena mused. And she really wanted to make friends with these nice girls. Still, a tiny part of her wondered if entering the Invention Fair, going out for GG Squad, and keeping up with her regular class assignments might be too big of a load for her first few months at school. Besides, according to the poster, squad tryouts were after school tomorrow!