As the evening grew deeper, the sounds of frogs and distant crickets grew to a loud crescendo. Aqua realized how much she had missed the comforting sounds of home. It made her more certain that she had spoken the truth to her parents, as shocking as that was.
Even if Blake never looked in her direction again, she wanted the wide-open sky that appeared to go on forever, and the deep, noisy nights filled with the sounds that drowned out the busyness of the day. Not the noises of the city, but the sounds of animal life that could be so vociferous one moment and then so silent the very next. Aqua wanted a place where the soil smelled familiar, and the distant mountains granted peace. Burnt River was the only place she knew that could offer her that.
That night as she settled into bed, Aqua decided to stop filling her mind with matters that were out of her control. She knew that she was pragmatic, realistic and a person who took charge of her destiny. Wasn’t that why she was back home in the first place?
Lying in her bed, it dawned on her that she was still the same person she had always been in.
Why do I have to wait for him to text or call me? He did give me his card…and made it very clear there are three different ways to contact him.
Aqua was certain that this was deliberate, and besides hadn’t he made all the first moves in the past? Maybe it was time for her to show up.
Aqua tapped on her smartphone. When the display lit up, she saw the time. It wasn't too late, and she guessed that if he had gone to sleep he would have turned his phone off. She sent a simple text.
Blake, this is Aqua. Are we still on for the auction?
As soon as she pressed send, she drew a sharp breath. Was it a mistake? She wasn't even sure what she wanted. Could things really rekindle between them, or had that flame gone up in smoke a long time ago?
There was only one-way to find out and knowing would be better than obsessing over not knowing.
Chapter 7
The next morning, Aqua checked her phone as soon as she woke up. There was no response to her text.
Her stomach dropped. Maybe he was too busy or had he just been courteous by inviting her?
Again, the game began to play in her head. It was one that she was all too familiar with since arriving back home. Would he, or wouldn't he? As far as she was concerned, the ball was in his court. He could call her, text her, or never even think of her again.
She knew that if he turned her a cold shoulder, it would be justified. What must it be like to sit across from someone who broke your heart, and never even cared enough to respond? Although he didn’t know that she had never been told he had come to her house to ask her to marry him, she did know now—and still hadn’t apologized. Aqua didn’t want to think about that. It started to remind her of what she might feel like if Blake was really only toying with her now.
If Aqua was totally honest with herself, there was another matter plaguing her. It was one of the reasons why she had decided to leave the city. For the past few years, Aqua had a tumultuous off-and-on love affair with a guy at work. Chaz Jones was a spook. A true spook. It had started off well—if one could call having a secret relationship that was frowned upon with a co-worker based in a top secret government agency, with no warning if an assignment might take one or the other away for months on end, working well.
They’d found every moment they could to be together—in the restrooms at their place of work, in restaurants, basically, anywhere they could get away with it and not get caught. Aqua had felt like they were two towering infernos that were always about to explode. She just didn’t know whether that was how love was supposed to be. Thinking of her feelings for Blake made Aqua wonder if maybe she and Chaz had strong chemistry, but nothing more.
His behavior when they had broken up—and they did that more than once,—exposed his shallowness. To be precise, Chaz’s behavior had bordered on the idiotically childish and it didn’t take her long to realize that she did not want to be part of his Merry-Go-Round.
After their last break-up, the one where Aqua had asked for him to make their relationship official just the day before, he'd switched into high gear idiot mode. It seemed that everywhere she went, he would show up with a new girl hanging on his arm. Aqua knew that she had dodged a bullet by not being with him if that was how he was going to treat her, but that didn't make the pain any easier to endure.
Now that she was back home, she wondered if it was pain because she loved him, or was it more likely that the real pain was only to her ego? Whatever it was, it had begun to subside, and she realized she was better off. She couldn’t even really understand why she had asked for a commitment from him—was it for her ego? Or because that’s what people did after dating off and on for months on end? It was a tough pill to swallow. It wasn’t one of her more proud moments.
One of the things Aqua hated the most about being in a relationship was trying to decide what that meant exactly. It was always the same. The guy wants the girl and never wants her to change, but she always does. And then the girl wants the guy, and she always wants him to change, but he never will. It was a vicious cycle that could never work. So how had her parents made it work all these years?
With man and woman, it was all so different. Try reasoning with a man, thought Aqua. It’s nigh impossible. How did mom and dad do it? They seemed nearly perfect incompatibility and genuine, lasting love. Not that they didn’t ever argue, or have moments they were annoyed with each other, but by far and large Aqua had seen consistent respect and love from her parents. A love that seemed to grow even deeper as they aged. Sadly, they were an anomaly.
Could it be that true love is only for a select few?
Aqua thought that maybe she had done Blake a favor by not being around for his proposal ten years ago. Relationships were difficult, and Aqua wasn’t sure whether she even had the makings of a good wife. However, as she had come to learn, heartbreak and longing for something you can’t have, or something that just won’t work, was equally hard.
The question that echoed in her mind was—would Blake ever be able to forgive her?
Chapter 8
Aqua occupied her time with helping her parents on the farm and getting her office set up in town. It always amazed her how many things there were to do, and how few hours there were in the day to get them done. It was almost dark when her mother asked her to run to the store. She seized the opportunity to go for a drive and listen to some of her favorite music.
As she passed by all the familiar places, memories stirred in her mind. Some were with friends, others were with her parents, but the most intense ones were with Blake. Even though they'd only dated for a year, it seemed to her that the memory of their romance was still imprinted on every storefront and playground she passed. Even the grocery store was a place they'd spent time in. In fact, he'd bought her flowers and a doughnut to celebrate a test she’d passed that she was especially nervous about.
“He was just so sweet.” Aqua sighed at the memory as she parked the car. Get it together Aqua. One cup of coffee does not a date make.
Aqua stepped inside the grocery store and grabbed a shopping basket, mentally preparing herself for an onslaught of locals. It was one of the benefits and drawbacks of growing up in a small town where everyone knew you. She smiled at a few familiar faces and paused to speak with an older woman who was once her teacher and commiserate around the fact that it was terribly sad that Mr. Weiker had passed.
After she got through the first group, she managed to slip away down an empty aisle. She plucked a few items from the shelves and placed them in the basket. At the end of the aisle, there was a small display of colorful wine bottles. Distracted by her curiosity around the types of wine Burnt River might offer, Aqua selected one and moved forward. It wasn't until she struck a solid but warm surface that she realized she was completely lost in thought and not paying attention to where she was going.
"Excuse me, I'm sorry." She took a step back, recognizing the scent of the cologne. Aqua knew who it
was before she even looked up. His scent was familiar, distinctive, sexy. She stifled a groan.
"It's alright, Aqua." Blake smiled and ran his hand along the curve of her arm to the palm of her hand. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Of course." She flushed as she drew her hand back. How awkward is this? He was never going to call me, and now we're face to face. "I just wasn't paying attention. It was my fault," she said not knowing what else to say. There it was again. Dumbstruck by feelings of the past—would they never leave her alone?
"Hm, looking at the wine?" He scanned the selection. "What’s your favorite?" Blake’s voice was a tantalizing growl that made goosebumps magically appear on Aqua’s arms.
"Oh, I was just curious, there are some interesting options. I tend to be ambidextrous and open-minded when it comes to wine."
His eyebrows raised as he chuckled and picked up one of the bottles. His gaze languorously shifted over to her, lingering on her lips. "I see you chose something crisp and dry."
"Yes.” she managed. “I have a lot to get done before the doors to my office open. So I’d better get going."
"I understand that kind of focus." Blake set the bottle he’d chosen down. His forehead creased as he looked at her. “Sorry I didn't get back to you yet on the event, Aqua.”
“Oh, it's all right. I figured you weren't serious about that, anyway.” Aqua shrugged and did her best to appear casual.
"It's been a crazy few days." He paused and ruffled a hand through his hair. "Alright, that's not completely the truth. It has been crazy, but that's not why I didn't reach out. I wasn't sure, if you were truly interested, or if you were just taking pity on me.”
It was impossible to hide her surprise. “I am interested. In—in going to the event, I mean.” Darn, she needed to learn to think first and speak later! “I think the auction would be a great place to reconnect with friends and meet new people in the area.” It was a feeble attempt at deflecting her true intentions, but at least she’d recovered somewhat.
“Okay.” He smiled, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
She wanted to kick herself for saying something that clearly made him feel bad.
He glanced over at the wine again. “Maybe we can try a bottle out in the near future together?”
“Maybe.” As Aqua studied him, a woman stepped up behind him.
“There you are, Blake. Did you find the popcorn?” She brushed her long red hair back over her shoulder and flashed a smile in Aqua's direction.
“Sorry, not yet. I ran into Aqua. Or actually, she ran into me.” He raised an eyebrow. “Eva Randall, meet Aqua Weaver. Aqua, this is Eva.”
“Yes, I did run into Blake.” Aqua grinned in return at the woman, and couldn't ignore her flawless skin and colossal brown eyes. She wore a tight dress that clung to her curves as if it was a second skin. The way she pursed her lips made them look impossibly plump. So, he didn't have a ring on his finger, but that didn't mean he wasn't seeing someone. Aqua felt ridiculous for thinking that he wasn't.
"Wait, this is Aqua?" The redhead paused and stared across the aisle at her. Her eyes wandered from head to toe, in a blatant assessment. "The Aqua?"
"Eva, don't," Blake growled. "
"Hi, Eva, I’m Aqua." She offered her hand. "It's nice to meet you."
"I wish I could say the same." Eva crossed her arms and fixed Aqua with a lethal stare.
If looks could kill. Aqua lowered her hand. "Okay. Clearly, I'm missing something here. Have we met before?"
Eva narrowed her eyes, moving closer to Blake.
"Eva! Enough." Blake cast a warning look at Eva. When he looked back at Aqua, all the warmth was gone from his gaze. "I'm sorry Aqua. Eva is my assistant at the office, and I’m quite certain you’ve never met.”
"You know what. It's fine," Aqua forced a bewildered I need to get going anyway look at both of them. She turned on her heels, straightened her shoulders, and forced herself to walk calmly in the other direction. Talk about bazaar. What was that about? It was obvious that Eve seemed to hate her without having even met her, but what could Blake possibly have said about her that would make Eve feel that way? Did he go around telling everyone in town that she was horrible? The thought made it difficult to stay in the store. She returned the few items she'd dropped in her basket and hurried out the door. She’d almost reached her car when she heard her name spoken in the familiar voice she both loved and hated.
"Aqua, please—wait."
Aqua froze with her hand on the door handle. "It's okay, Blake, really." She willed the red to stop creeping up her cheeks. She was grateful that it was nearing dusk.
"No, it's not okay. We need to talk." The warmth of his palm rested on her shoulder. Aqua tried to draw a breath but shivered as she did, pulling away.
"Blake." When she turned to face him, he was so close that she instinctively stepped back, but there was nowhere to go, her back was already against the car door. His presence drew her in, and she was overwhelmed with the desire to kiss him. With all of her willpower, she resisted the urge. "I've been trying to find a way to say this, and it just never seemed like the right time, or I guess, I chickened out—I'm sorry, Blake."
"You’re sorry? Did I miss something?" Blake’s eyes flashed with curiosity as he placed his free hand on the top of the car and leaned just a little closer.
"You know what..." Aqua licked her lips, too late realizing that Blake’s eyes followed their movements. Why did I do that? It's like I'm begging him to kiss me. How embarrassing. Just get in the car and go, Aqua. Her palms were sweating, her breathing shallow, and she desperately wanted to shrink back into the car.
Like a heat-seeking missile, Blake’s gaze passed from her ribs up to the rapidly beating pulse in her neck and then his eyes sought hers. "Tell me Aqua, I'm listening."
"I'm sorry that I left after we graduated without talking to you," Aqua mumbled the words like a condemned woman at court. She worried about how lame she sounded. This was not going how she had planned it, but then did she ever have a plan when it came to situations like this?
"Are you? Sorry?" His palm trailed down from her shoulder to rest on her elbow. Blake held her there, and she felt her pulse leap in response.
Tell him you are, Aqua. Just tell him. A little white lie won't hurt anything. "No. No, truthfully, I’m not," she blurted. She flinched, tilting her head up to meet his eyes, but that only made her feel more vulnerable. A thousand ways to soften the blow of her admission shot through her head like a thunderstorm. "I am sorry that I hurt you, Blake. I never knew. I-I never knew you came to my house to see me before I left. Not until the day of the storm, just a few days ago, did I find out you had shown up at my house to propose to me after we graduated from high school. My parents never told me…" Aqua’s eyes begged for understanding. Forgiveness.
Blake took a slight step back, then cringed. “Ah, honestly, I had hoped that you wouldn't find out. I wondered, but assumed when I didn’t hear from you that your father never told you.” He glanced up at her as his cheeks flushed. “It's pretty mortifying. I was so young. You think you need to apologize to me for that?” He shook his head. “There's nothing to apologize for. But I am curious..." His fingers curled around her elbow in a gentle squeeze, and his fingers trailed their way down to her wrist, eventually taking her hand. She gasped audibly.
"What if I had been able to offer you that ring? What if you'd been there when I knocked on the door?"
"I..." Aqua looked down at her shoes. Her vision tunneled and she willed away the lightheadedness she was beginning to feel. "I still wouldn't have said yes. I cared about you, Blake, and I wouldn't have wanted to hurt you, but I wasn't ready to get married. I’m sorry."
"Well, that's a relief." Blake’s hand fell away.
Aqua fell back against the car and dared a quick look at his face, the corners of his mouth tipped up just enough for his dimples to show. She bit the side of her lower lip. "It is?" her head cocked to the side and her eyes fi
lled with questions.
"Could you imagine where we would be right now if you'd been there if you'd said yes? I was crazy to think that I was ready to marry you. Sure, I was crazy about you, but I should never have even considered holding you back from your goals and your dreams. If we had married, who knows where we would have ended up. I know now that it wasn't the right thing. Not back then." He cleared his throat. "I'm the one that should be sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight and had no right to even ask."
"I guess, everyone in town knows, huh?" Aqua chewed on her lip.
"No, just your father and--Eva. She only knows because we dated while I was in med school. At the time, I was still pretty hung up on you, and I wanted to be honest with her about it. Please, don't let this make things awkward between us. I'm just really glad you’re back, and I’m sorry for the way Eva behaved just now."
"Me too." Aqua slipped her hand into his. "I'm glad to have the chance to get to know you again, Blake. If you still want me to go to the auction, I'm up for it.”
“Absolutely.” He reached past her to open the car door, and she slid into the seat, grateful for the support. “I'll see you later.”
With him so close, Aqua thought again about drawing him in for a kiss. Instead she pulled the door closed with a wave goodbye. Aqua had the sudden desire to be as far away from him as possible before she did something that she might regret. It was exciting to see Blake again, but Aqua wasn't sure just how much excitement she was ready for just yet.
Chapter 9
Once Aqua had her new office and had settled in, she began to search for an apartment to rent. However, in the small town of Burnt River, there weren't many to choose from. She considered finding something outside of town, but she preferred to be close to her parents. After she hit a few more roadblocks, she decided to pursue buying a house instead. It was a big investment, and an even bigger commitment from a girl who had been in New York City and career-focused just a few weeks ago, however, she knew exactly which house she wanted.
Aqua's Achilles Page 5