Many a Tear has to Fall

by Joan Jonker

  ‘I know.’ His voice was gruff, and although it couldn’t be seen in the darkness, his face was red with embarrassment. ‘I’ve seen yer in the street.’

  ‘You could have let on,’ Tess said. ‘We should be friends, being neighbours. What’s your name?’

  The boy didn’t know how to take her. None of the people in the street talked to him or his brother, and he couldn’t tell if she was being funny. But from the light of the street lamp, he couldn’t see any sign of sarcasm on her face. And he was dying to tell someone his news. ‘Me name’s Jack. I leave school on Friday, and I’ve just been for an interview for a job.’

  ‘Oh, that’s good!’ Tess sounded really interested. ‘How did you get on?’

  A tall lad for his age, with mousy-coloured hair like his mother, he seemed to grow in stature and there was pride in his voice. ‘I got the job and I start work after Christmas.’

  ‘Ooh, isn’t that marvellous! I bet you’re very pleased and excited.’

  ‘Yeah, I am.’ Jack was relaxed now, and he could tell the girl was genuinely interested in what he was telling her. ‘I’m starting as an apprentice with a firm of decorators in Stanley Road, so I won’t have far to travel to work.’

  ‘I bet your mam will be over the moon, ’cos you’ll be able to do her decorating for her.’

  The boy’s eyes narrowed at the mention of his mother. He knew she wasn’t liked in the street, and there were times she did things that made him ashamed. But he loved her dearly and wouldn’t hear a bad word said about her. ‘I’d do anything for me mam, she’s a smasher.’

  ‘So is my mam, and I’d do anything for her.’ Tess saw a familiar figure approaching, and wanting everyone to be friendly, she said, ‘Here’s my dad. Tell him your good news, Jack.’

  But the lad turned on his heels. ‘Me dinner will be ready. I’ll see yer.’ He was letting himself into the house next door before Tess could say anything to stop him.

  George put an arm across her shoulders and whispered, ‘You’re a bit young to be courting, my dear.’

  ‘I wanted him to stay and talk to you, but he just skedaddled.’

  ‘Tell me about it inside, love, because I’m frozen through to the marrow.’ George left Tess to close the front door while he made a bee-line for the fire. ‘It’s bitterly cold down by the docks. The wind is fierce and there were times when I thought my fingers were going to drop off.’

  ‘Give me your coat and I’ll hang it up,’ Ann said. ‘You could do with buying yourself one of those hats that have side pieces to cover your ears.’

  ‘You mean like Sherlock Holmes?’ George chuckled. ‘I can just hear the men if I walked in with one of those on my head. I’d be a laughing stock.’

  Ann tutted as she walked through to the kitchen to put the dinner out. ‘I wouldn’t care what they said about me, as long as I was warm.’

  Maddy looked up from her exercise book. ‘They didn’t laugh at Sherlock Holmes, Dad.’

  ‘I think he moved in different circles to me, love. He was a detective, not a docker.’ Out of the corner of his eye, George could see Tess moving from one foot to the other, a sure sign she had something to say. ‘And you, young lady, what was it you wanted to tell me about the boy next door who took to his heels when he saw me?’

  ‘His name is Jack, Dad, and he’s very shy, that’s why he ran off. He leaves school on Friday and he’d been for an interview for a job.’

  Ann came in, a tea towel in her hands. ‘Have you been talking to one of the Binghams?’

  ‘Yes, and he’s very nice. I told him my name, and that I lived next door, and he said he knew ’cos he’d seen me in the street.’ Tess didn’t think she’d done wrong, and went on, ‘And guess what? He got the job and starts after Christmas. Isn’t that great?’

  Ann wasn’t so sure. ‘Did you speak to him first, or did he approach you?’

  ‘Oh, I spoke to him first. He would have just walked past me if I hadn’t. I mean, he is our neighbour and we should try and be friendly.’

  Maddy closed her book and put it on the sideboard. The conversation was more interesting than arithmetic. ‘What would you have done if he’d kept on walking and didn’t stop? Would you have done a flying tackle on his legs to bring him down?’

  Tess giggled. ‘Of course not! Anyway, he did stop, and I think he was glad to have someone to tell about his new job. He’s very pleased with himself.’

  ‘You really shouldn’t have done that, Theresa, knowing how difficult his mother is,’ Ann said. ‘We should have as little to do with the family as possible.’

  ‘I don’t agree with you over that, love,’ George said. ‘He’s only a lad, you can’t blame him for what his mother is.’

  Tess went on the offensive. ‘He loves his mother, he said she’s a smasher and he’d do anything for her. And I told him I love you, Mam, and would do anything for you.’

  Ann had no answer for that, so she went to the kitchen to put the dinners out. But all the while her ear was cocked.

  ‘How did he come to tell you that about his mother, sweetheart?’ George asked. ‘I hope you weren’t discussing Mrs Bingham with him?’

  ‘No, I wouldn’t do that, Dad! He’s going to be an apprentice painter and decorator, and I said his mam would be over the moon ’cos he could do all the decorating for her. And that’s when he said he’d do anything for his mam ’cos she’s a smasher.’

  ‘Then he’s a good son and I admire him for it. And I’m glad you broke the ice, Tess, it would be nice if the children could be friends, even if the parents can’t.’

  Ann’s head appeared around the door. ‘It’s not a case of the parents not getting on, George, and you know that! I’d be more than happy to be friends with Mrs Bingham, but it takes two, you can’t have a one-sided friendship.’

  ‘I know that, dear, I wasn’t implying that you were in any way to blame for the situation. But I don’t think the two boys from next door should suffer in any way for what their mother does. And I hope Tess, and Maddy, treat them as they do their other friends. That’s if the boys want it that way, of course.’

  ‘Let’s discuss it another time, shall we? The dinner will be dried up if I don’t serve it now, so sit at the table everyone and I’ll bring the plates through.’

  The set of her younger daughter’s face told Ann she should steer clear of any mention of the Binghams. Theresa had a very stubborn streak, and if she thought something was right then nothing on God’s earth would make her change her mind. But there was no harm in her, she didn’t have a wicked thought in her head and would never upset anyone. All she asked of life was that everyone around her should be happy.

  ‘Madelaine is going to write the Christmas cards out tonight for Wales, so I’ll post them in the morning to make sure they get them in time. And I bought a few to send myself. There’s your Ken and Milly, Lizzie, Dolly, Bridie, and I mustn’t forget Maisie and the Critchleys in Hanford Avenue. Once they’re out of the way I’ll start putting the decorations up.’

  The conversation Tess was having in her head petered out as the excitement of Christmas crept in. After all, her mother was always very fair, and she hadn’t said definitely she mustn’t speak to the boys next door. Still, it might be better not to mention that she’d made a card and intended to put it through next door’s letter-box on Christmas Eve. ‘If me and Maddy get our cards done early, can we start putting the bunting up tonight?’

  ‘Ooh, I don’t know about that. The picture rail will need dusting first, but that won’t take long. It’s just that I’m no good at knocking nails in to hang the paper chains on. I’m hopeless with a hammer when I have to stretch. And I’m certainly not going to ask your dad, not after he’s worked a full day, he’ll be too tired.’

  ‘I admit I don’t fancy doing the whole lot,’ George said. ‘But I wouldn’t mind making a start and finishing it off tomorrow night.’

  ‘I’ll do the picture rail after we’ve had our dinner, Mam,’ Maddy said. ‘I can
put a clean cloth over the brush head and reach it easy.’

  Tess wasn’t going to be left out. ‘I’ll hold the paper chains, Dad, so they won’t get torn.’ She clapped her hands in delight. ‘Ooh, won’t we be posh? And we’ll be even posher when we get the tree. When will that be, Mam?’

  ‘Not till nearer the weekend, love. They’re pretty expensive to buy right now, but they go down a lot in price as it gets near to Christmas.’

  ‘I was wondering what you thought about asking our Ken and the family around on Christmas night?’ George raised his bushy brows. ‘We’ve been invited there every year and I think it’s about time we returned the favour. So how about it, Ann? You wouldn’t have to go overboard with food and drink, just a bottle of sherry and lemonade for the children.’

  Both girls’ eyes were wide with anticipation as they waited to hear what their mother had to say. It was true they went to Uncle Ken’s every Christmas Day, and they always enjoyed themselves. Except their mother, who would never have a drink and never looked in the party mood. And although she had changed a lot lately, had she changed enough?

  ‘I think that’s a good idea, love! I’ll see Milly tomorrow and ask her. You’re right, it is time to pay them back for all the years they’ve played host to us.’

  The happiness of the two girls knew no bounds. ‘What about Mrs Lizzie?’ Tess wanted to know. ‘Can she come with her husband?’

  ‘I’m afraid she can’t, love, because her daughter comes for Christmas Day with her husband and the baby.’ Ann had been keeping a secret for over a week now, and it had been really hard at times. Seeing her children so happy now was her undoing, she couldn’t keep it to herself any longer. ‘But she is coming on Boxing Day, in the afternoon, and staying for tea.’

  ‘Yippee!’ Maddy threw her arms around her sister. ‘This is going to be the best Christmas ever, Tess, aren’t we lucky?’

  ‘Excuse me, girls, but would you eat your dinner, please? You can get as excited as you like after, but right now I want to see every bit of food disappear from those plates into your mouths and on its way to your tummies.’

  George looked puzzled. ‘When did you ask Lizzie? She never mentioned it to me.’

  ‘I’m sure there’s lots of things Lizzie gets up to without telling you, George.’ Ann grinned. ‘I mean, she’s not married to you, so she doesn’t have to account to you for every single thing she does. And I asked her on the quiet last Saturday, when we took the girls to the market to buy their presents. So now all has been revealed, I hope you’re happy?’

  ‘I’m delighted, my dear. We have two days of lively fun to look forward to.’ George pushed his plate away and licked his lips before running the back of a hand over his moustache. ‘And we must have the room looking nice and jolly for our visitors, so we’ll make a start when we’ve had a drink and the dishes are washed.’

  Tess ate with gusto, her bottom swivelling on the chair. Today had been a lovely day.

  It was Christmas Eve and Ann had everything prepared for dinner the following day. She was really pleased with herself for being so organised. The children’s presents had been wrapped ready to go in a pillowcase that would be hung on the grate after they’d gone to bed. With the dresses, there would be writing materials for Theresa, an underskirt for Madelaine, a bag of assorted sweets each, and an apple and orange. And George’s new shirt and pullover, also wrapped in bright red and green paper, would be placed under the tree, which the girls had decorated the night before. It looked very attractive with coloured balls dangling from its branches and lengths of silver tinsel hanging down. In fact the whole room looked very festive, with paper chains criss-crossed from one side to the other, and balloons bouncing in each of the corners.

  Ann saw her daughters passing the window and hurried to open the door. Their faces were whipped to a rosy red with the chill wind, and they looked the picture of health. It was months since Theresa had shown any sign of sickness or a cold, and Ann was keeping her fingers crossed that those worrying days were over. ‘Come and get a warm by the fire, you both look perished. But don’t put your hands too near or you’ll get chilblains.’

  ‘This room looks lovely, Mam,’ Maddy said. ‘It’s like walking into a grotto. The only thing missing is a Father Christmas.’

  ‘I’m dead excited.’ Tess threw her gloves and scarf on the couch. She was half expecting to be told to put them away properly, but her mother never said a word. ‘I can’t wait for it to be morning and we all get our presents.’

  ‘I’ve been very busy today, so busy I was meeting myself coming back at times,’ Ann told them with more than a little pride. ‘The turkey is ready for the oven, and the potatoes and vegetables are in pans just waiting to have the gas lit under them. I’ll have to get up early because the turkey will take hours to roast.’ She suddenly put a hand to her mouth. ‘Oh, aren’t I stupid! Here’s me praising myself to high heaven and I haven’t got the stuffing for the bird! How could I have forgotten to put that on my shopping list! Oh dear, I’ll have to run to the shops and get a packet. A turkey is no good without the stuffing.’

  ‘I’ll go to the shop for you, Mam,’ Tess said, reaching for her scarf and gloves. ‘It won’t take me five minutes to run there and back.’

  ‘No, it’s starting to get dark out, I’ll go myself.’

  ‘Mam, I’m not a baby! I can go on a message without getting lost or forgetting what I’m supposed to buy.’ A mutinous expression came to the pretty face. ‘The shops are packed with people, and so are the streets.’

  While Ann hesitated, she thought of what George would say. He’d tell her that Theresa was old enough now to be given some responsibility. She would never grow up if she wasn’t allowed to. ‘Okay, but run all the way there and back, and do not speak to anyone.’

  Tess wrapped herself up again before holding out her hand for the money. ‘What exactly is it I have to ask for?’

  ‘It’s a packet of Paxo sage and onion stuffing. I usually make my own with fresh sage, but it’s too late for that now. I’m not sure how much it’ll be, but here’s sixpence and you should have change out of that.’

  ‘D’you want me to come with you, Tess?’ Maddy asked. ‘I don’t mind, I like seeing the people hurrying and scurrying with their Christmas shopping.’

  ‘No, I’m going on my own.’ With a nod of determination, Tess fled from the house before any more advice was forthcoming. Anyone listening would think she was incapable of going on a message on her own.

  The shops were indeed very busy with last-minute shoppers hoping to get a bargain. The butcher’s and greengrocer’s were doing a roaring trade selling off their perishable goods at a fraction of the usual price to cut their losses. Better that than having to throw them away after Christmas.

  Tess waited patiently for her turn to be served. She quite enjoyed it really, because it was warm in the shop and the customers were all happy and talkative. With their biggest worries over now, the women were looking forward to the next morning, when their children would be shrieking with delight as they opened their presents. For some, whose fathers were out of work, it might only be an apple, an orange, some nuts and a comic. But even they would be a luxury to kids whose parents were hard up, and would be received with noisy pleasure.

  When it was her turn, Tess asked for a packet of sage and onion stuffing and passed over the silver sixpence. The coppers she got in change were stuffed down her glove before she left the shop so they’d be safe. Once outside, the cold air hit her and she shivered. Best to run all the way home and warm herself up. She hadn’t gone far before she saw the familiar figure of Mrs Bingham walking in front of her. The woman was weighed down with a heavy basket over one arm, while her other was holding so many things they were in danger of falling. Particularly the loaf of bread that was slowly slipping away from her.

  Tess quickened her steps to catch up. ‘Can I help you carry something, Mrs Bingham?’

  Nellie glanced sideways, afraid to move in cas
e she dropped one of the many things she had in her arms. She should have made two journeys, but she didn’t know she wanted so much until she got in the shops and saw things on the shelves that she’d forgotten. Anyway, suffice to say she wasn’t in the best of tempers. ‘No, I can manage.’

  But an abrupt voice wasn’t going to put Tess off. ‘We live next to each other so I can easily carry some of those things for you, it wouldn’t be out of my way.’

  Nellie’s footsteps didn’t even falter. Her one aim right at that moment was to get home before her arms dropped off, with everything she’d paid good money for. ‘I’ve told yer, I can manage. Now on yer bike and leave me alone.’

  The young girl kept up with her. ‘My teacher in school is called Miss Harrison, and she often tells us that we should be good Samaritans and always offer to help someone who needs it. We should never stand by, waiting to be asked. And if Miss Harrison saw me walking next to you, with only one small packet in my hand, and you weighed down, she would be very disappointed in me.’

  Nellie stopped in her tracks. Apart from her aching arms, her feet were cold and the corn on her little toe was beginning to give her gyp. She was not in the mood to be kept back by a chit of a girl. There were strong words on her tongue when she turned her head, but although her mouth went through the motions, the words were never uttered. For one look into eyes that were innocent and honest brought a pang of guilt. She wouldn’t admit to herself that she was giving in, though, only that she’d be home a lot quicker if she let the child have her own way. ‘Take the loaf from under me arm, then, that will be a help.’

  Tess eased out the badly squashed loaf. ‘It’s all bashed in, Mrs Bingham, but you’ll be able to get it back into shape when you get home. Now let me take this bag off you, that should make things lighter.’

  ‘Leave that where it is, girl, it’s got spuds in and is too heavy for yer.’