Always Be Mine~

by Steitz, G. V.

  I want to tell him about me I think to myself. I don’t know if he will want to know or not. My lack of experience might upset him. Turn him off maybe? I don’t know.

  Our lips separate once he removes my bra. His eyes still on mine, having not left my face, he looks intently on my reaction to him thus this far. His looks scare me. I don’t know if its concern or worry or confusion that I see in his eyes. His hands rest on my hips again.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask, looking back and forth into his eyes.

  Matthew shakes his head slowly, closing his eyes briefly. He opens them again and looks back in my eyes. “Are you sure you want to keep going with this? Because Emma, really if you are worried, please tell me.” He says.

  I feel my body tense under his touch.

  I slowly begin to run the hands up and down his shoulders and arms, as I look down at his chest. “Why do you want to stop? Is it me?” I softly ask.

  Matthew takes his hand, running it through my hair that has spilled over one side of my face. He clicks his tongue.

  “Emma, look at me.” he says.

  I look up to his eyes carefully as I worry what I might see.

  Matthew keeps his eyes still on my face. I think to make sure he doesn’t go beyond what I am ready to do with him. I think and I also hope that’s all it is.

  “Emma, you are beautiful. I don’t want to rush you. I don’t want to scare you off. I want you. Believe me I really want you, but not at the risk of you regretting anything between us. Not only that.” He takes a deep breath in as he closes his eyes. He slowly exhales, reopening his eyes, looking back into mine. “I don’t think you have had many sexual partners and I don’t want this time to with me at least to make you feel you made a mistake. This between us, has nothing to do with your father, I hope you know. This between us I wanted when I first met you in that conference room the very first time I met you, months ago. This last time you had that meeting with our firm was the last straw. I had to find a way to take you out. To see if there was something or some way you might you feel in the same way as I do for you. So please, don’t feel you need to do anything because of your father. This has nothing to do with him and what I did at all. If you never spoke to me again after the other night, I still would have done this. OK?” He asks after explaining his concerns to me. I thought it was so sweet what he just told me. I just nodded.

  “Yes?” He asks.

  “Yes.” I whisper.

  And then I feel his hands moving slowly up the sides of my body again. He leans in to kiss my mouth again, slowly trailing kisses down my jaw, to my neck. I feel his getting more aroused as he moves his lips down my body. Kissing my shoulder, down in the middle of my neck where it dips in before my chest. I grind my hips harder into his. His hands reach up, and he softly takes a breast in each hand and lets out a loud groan.

  His mouth moving down my chest, to the swell of my full, aching breasts. I drop my head back, my hair falling behind me hanging down from my head.

  “God you are so beautiful Emma.” Matthew groans into my skin as he continues his kissing to one of my hard nipples. He traces the tip of his tongue around it before taking into his mouth. After what felt like more minutes than I count consciously in my head at that moment, Matthew took the nipple between his teeth lightly grazing it between them before releasing the very aroused nipple and moving over to the other one to do the same torture making me moan and pant louder.

  Matthew motioned for me to move up to help me get more undressed. Personally, I wanted to rip his damn shirt off his body making buttons fly in every direction. I stood up and moved off the sofa. I slowly started undoing my navy slacks I still had on from this morning at work. I turned around from facing him and Matthew stood up. I walked a bit out of the room, letting my slacks fall to the floor. I was only wearing lacy white bikini style panties, nothing sexy. Well at least not to me. Matthew on the other hand looked over to me like I was what he wanted to devour for dinner, which made me giggle.

  I pulled my hair over one shoulder, looking back over my shoulder, “Come on, and follow me.” I offered with my finger making the come here motion.

  I walked into my bedroom. Set the dimmer on the lighting to make it look softer than what my body looked like in reality. I crawled up onto my king size mattress. I had a four post canopy bed with sheer white type material tied off on each post. I always thought those romantic honeymoon getaways were something I would never experience personally. So I decided to create the look for myself in my room. I sat in the middle of the bed and looked up to find Matthew leaning in the door frame looking at me on the bed. I leaned back on some pillows, stretching my legs out crossing them at the ankles.

  Waiting, I watched him study me.

  He finally started walking over towards the foot of the bed, looking down at me; he finally spoke, “Emma, you look amazing baby. I can’t believe you want to do this. You look like an angel in the middle of this bed.”

  I moved my lips side to side trying not to laugh or get more frustrated than I already was at this point.

  “Why are you doing this to me Matthew? I have never heard of someone trying to talk someone out of having sex. What’s wrong? Just tell me. Please?” I ask as I sit up, looking into his eyes. I pull a pillow in front of me to hide my body from him. Maybe that’s it.

  I look down his body. He is sporting quite a tent in his pants. So apparently that part of him wants to play with me. So what is it?

  Chapter 9~Matthew

  I am standing here, looking over her gorgeous bed, at this beautiful woman, desperate to take her since months ago when I first met her that very first day on her first meeting with me.

  I am almost too nervous. She is someone I never expect and always thought I would never have. And here she is, trying to cover herself because she thinks I don’t want her. I think while I watch her, watching me pull my shirt off. My slacks have the belt off and the button at the top undone.

  Her eyes are amazing. To watch her reactions through her eyes is something to behold. I’ve never seen that in someone before. Her eyes slowly move down my body, looking at me. I smile.

  Finally, I unzip my slacks, pulling them off; I toss them on the chair near her bed. Damn this bed looks like it’s from a damn magazine. She looks so damn sexy and she doesn’t even know it, which makes me think that makes her even sexier.

  And now she turns a perfect shade of pink from blushing. From her neck all the way throughout her face, and up to her cheeks. Fuck I am going to loose it too damn fast with her.

  I crawl up onto her bed, ripping the pillow out of her hands that she is covering herself with, and throw it over to the other side of the bed. I think I heard it fall to the floor. Who knows? All I can think about is how amazing her body is and how badly I want to keep exploring it with my mouth. I have taken my shoes and socks off before I made it to the bedroom, making it easy for me to get to her.

  I lean into her body pushing her back down onto the bed as my lips fuse to hers. Holding myself up with one hand on either side of her body, I climb up on top of her, kneeling on either side of her body. Straddling her, I lift my head up and look into her eyes. “Your eyes are so expressive. They sparkle like emeralds and no, nothing is wrong at all. Well, other than me wondering why on earth you want to be with me at this moment.” I tell her as I look into her eyes.

  “I don’t know. Ever since I first met you, you are all I think about. You’re in my head Matthew. I dream of you. My body wants yours. We’re attracted to each other I suppose.” She says, shrugging her shoulders.

  As her hands slide up my arms, she lightly grazes her nails into my skin. Making me even harder and I didn’t think that was even possible at this point.

  Listening to her talk nearly drives me insane. I want to dive into her and never leave. And then I see something pass through her eyes as she watches me.

  “What are you worried about?” I ask her watching her.

  Now I know she is worried about so
mething. She looks worried.

  “Matthew, I don’t have much experience with sexual partners as you probably do. I don’t know you might not want to do this.” She explains almost in a whisper. I let out my breath slowly and chuckle. “God, that’s all? I thought something was wrong.” I tell her and roll off of her and over to her side, pulling her into me so we can talk about this and she can relax or we can stop. She means something more to me than I ever felt with anyone before so I really don’t want to blow this with her. Especially after pissing the shit out of her the last time we were together. Oh no, not going to let that happen again.

  I run my finger down the side of her face, outlining it with her soft, chestnut color hair, spilling over her one shoulder, and dripping down to her pillow as she is leaning on her elbow, her hand in her hair, lying on her side, facing me. I mirrored her same pose to study her, waiting for her to relax a bit. How many could she have? Five? Can’t be ten. Shit how many does she think I have had? Well, let’s hope she doesn’t ask. I’m sure I’m still in double digits. I should think that…

  “Ok, so how many sexual partners?” I ask her, waiting and praying I don’t cringe at the number she gives me.

  “One.” She squeaks out.

  WHAT? Is she for fucking real?

  Well, ok I deal with one. I need to find out first his name, and then go beat the shit out of him with a bat. But she doesn’t need to know how territorial I am when it comes to her. I can’t believe I just thought that. I am sure to freak her out.

  “Ok, one. So? Is that bad?” I ask sort of confused.

  “One… I mean, including you Matthew.” She whispers, looking down at her pillow, drawing something with her finger on the comforter.

  HOLY FUCK! This woman is a fucking virgin. OH SHIT! Ok… Don’t act like this is a big deal. At least I don’t have to beat anyone with a bat now. I’m relieved. And still terrified, Shit!

  “What? Why? I mean did something happen?” I ask her. I mean she’s beautiful. She has the biggest heart of anyone I ever met. I can’t believe this.

  “No, nothing like that. After my mom passed away, it was just me and my dad. I watched over him. I cooked for him. I took care of him, he took care of me. I dated, but I never found anyone important enough to sleep with. I remember one conversation I had with my father.

  I am sure he needed to tell me this probably because he didn’t really like the guy I was seeing at the time. But what he told me, made perfect sense to me. And I always recited it before I ever acted on a feeling.

  He told me, Emma, if you only remember one thing I tell you, remember this. You can never go back. It will never be enough if you go back. If you hold hands, you can’t go back to just waving. If you kiss someone, you can’t go back to just holding hands. If you sleep with someone, you can’t jus go back to kissing. So no matter you decide, just remember you really can’t go back. No matter whom it is.” She explains.

  I am playing with her hair as she talks to me. Twirling her hair in my fingers, watching it slip between my fingers. Repeating the same thing.

  “Good advice your dad gave you.” I tell her.

  “So then, after high school, I was given a full ride scholarship to NYU. I went, started going through everything architecture. I was really excited. Sad of course about leaving my dad, but he assured me we would talk and email each other and see each other a lot. After my first year, I found out he was sick. MS. He had to retire and I left school to help him here. I worked my way from the bottom up to where I am at the firm I work for. And your company was the first one I took care of on my own.” She explained with a shrug.

  “You’re amazing. You know that?” I tell her.

  “I don’t think you realize how amazing you really are Emma. I mean, God, you gave up your entire dream of your college and scholarship…” I explain.

  She shakes her head. “No, I don’t feel like that. I couldn’t leave him here alone. But after a while, when I was gone from work, he would get hurt. Trying to things around here. He started with a cane, and ended up in a wheel chair. After awhile, it broke my heart, but I couldn’t work and take care of him at the same time. I helped too much with the finances to leave work. And he couldn’t stay alone. We tried a few nurses, but with everything he needed, living here wasn’t working out too well for him. So that’s how he ended up in the nursing home. This ended up being terrible. But the only thing we could afford.” She explains as she gives a little shiver.

  I motion for her to sit up, pulling the comforter and sheet down; I pull her into it and fold us into the blankets. They smell like flowers and vanilla, like she does.

  As she lies back down, I pull her back into my chest. This time, with her back to my chest, I wrap my arm around her, moving her hair off towards the bed, I kiss her shoulder. She feels so good in my arms.

  “I’m sorry Matthew. I didn’t mean to kill the mood for you.” She says, sounding sad.

  “You didn’t ruin anything baby. I am so glad you told me all of this. I feel bad you didn’t have any support. No other family?” I ask her as I kiss the back of her neck, keeping her body up against mine holding her to me. I feel protective of her now.

  “No, my parents moved out here when they first married. The age difference between them caused my mom’s family to go against their wishes and plans for her. After she left to be with my dad, they basically wrote her off. Even after I came, her family was always invited. But they never wanted to visit. When she passed away, they didn’t even come for that. After they couldn’t even come to her wake or funeral, I wrote them off in my head. If she wasn’t good enough for them, they weren’t good enough for me to ever pursue them. My father being much older than my mother, he was an only child and his parents have passed away already.” She tells me.

  “You smell so good.” I say into her hair. As I breathe her in. She laughs.

  “So are you upset with me? No longer feel the desire to be with me anymore?” She asks.

  This really floors me. I can’t believe she would even think that, let alone actually say it out loud.

  “You’re not serious right?” I ask her

  “If anything, Emma, I just want more now. To be honest, when you first told me there was one person, I was trying to figure out a way to get his name so I could find him and beat the living shit out of him with a bat.” So really, I am glad I don’t need to go kill anyone tonight.” I say, making her laugh.

  “Want to get something to eat? It’s got to be close to dinner time and neither of us ate anything since I was too wrapped up into you on that wonderful sofa of yours.” I say kissing her up and down her arm.

  “Ok and nothing fancy. I don’t want to get dressed up today. Besides, it’s the weekend. I want to relax.” She tells me turning in my arms to face me.

  I kiss her forehead, then the tip of her nose. “I have the perfect idea.” I tell her and kiss her mouth real quick. I pull the blankets back; I lean in and nudge my face into her neck growling as I tickle her, making her squeal. “Matthew, stop that tickles.” She says laughing. This only adds fuel to the fire for me, doing it more and longer. After I have her begging me to stop because she is going to pee on herself, I sit up.

  “Ok, you find some jeans and a sweater or something comfy to wear. I am going to make a call and get a surprise ready for us.” I tell her as I jump out of her bed; I pad over and grab my shirt and pants. Walking over to door, I turn around and she her sitting up in her bed, holding the covers to her chest, staring at me.

  “Oh, pack and over night bag.” I say winking at her and hurry out to give her some space to get ready.

  After making a couple calls, I get her packed and into my car. She has her hair down, she’s in jeans and a sweater and looks delicious. Her sweater, matching her eyes, All I can think of is buying her emeralds to match her eyes. We drive off, I am excited about the surprise I have for her.

  Chapter 10~Emma

  I can’t believe I told him all of that. And now we are going Go
d knows where for dinner? He is so amazing. I’m almost afraid something is going to wake me from this dream.

  After about 30 minutes, we arrive at a place I am sure doesn’t have a diner, let alone a restaurant.

  “Um, Matthew where are we going for dinner?” I ask looking out all over the place. “I don’t see any drive through or diner around here.” I explain.

  “It’s going to be a private dinner.” He explains with a grin. Matthew has been holding my hand the entire time practically driving. When he needed to use both hands for a turn or something, when he was done, he reached back over and grabs my hand to hold it again. It really felt good to have someone give so much attention to me. Scared the shit out of me, but it really felt good too.

  “Here we are my little love bug.” He chirps with a chuckle.

  “Love bug? Matthew, where are we? We are sitting near a plane. What, you think we can get someone to serve us dinner here? A picnic or what, on a plane? Come on, no one around here will do that. Let’s just go to grab a burger in some drive thru or something.” I explain. Trying to convince him that a picnic out here is really not possible.

  “Come on. Let’s go.” He says, opening his door, running around grabbing my door, Matthew pulls me out, wraps his arm around me and dives in to plant a big kiss on my mouth. Ok, so I’ll humor him and play make believe.

  “Ah… Matthew?” I say looking nervous as we get closer to some plane. I am sure we are going to get arrested now. Maybe he lost his marbles or something.

  “Hmm?” He says looking down to me smiling.

  “Ah, I am pretty sure we are going to get arrested for trespassing. So let’s just…” I whisper trying to pull him with both hands now to stop. And without any luck I might add. Damn he is strong.

  “Good evening Mr. Daniels.” Some man says, greeting us near the plane’s door. They shake hands.

  “Good evening Charlie. Everything all set?” He asks looking back down to me. And then he laughs apparently my look of fear and confusion is amusing.