Where I Belong (Alabama Summer)

by Daniels, J.

  I roll my eyes at her bluntness. “You’re disgusting.”

  “I’m nosy, and I can pretend it wasn’t my brother.” She twirls her hair around her finger, smiling at me. “Spill it, Mia. I’ve shared all my sexcapades with you over the years.”

  “Without me asking. I’d love to be able to forget some of those horrific details.”

  “Oh please. Like you haven’t enjoyed living vicariously through my pussy. My very STD free pussy by the way. You make it sound like I’m a hooker.”

  I cover my face with my hands, hearing Tessa laugh softly next to me. If I am going to share how her brother got me off, I don’t want her to see how much I enjoyed it. Because I didn’t. I’d never enjoy anything involving him. And the tightness in my core that is forming at the very memory of last night has nothing to do with that jerk. I grunt heavily before confessing. “It was beautiful. He was sweet and playful, but he also knew exactly what he was doing. I definitely came. A lot.”

  “How much is a lot?” I hold up my hand, hearing her soft gasp. “Holy shit balls. Ben can get it.”

  Dropping my hands, I roll over and face her. “But I don’t want Ben to get it. I don’t want him to be the guy that took my virginity. I hate him, Tessa. You know how much I hate him.” It wasn’t a secret. I never hid my feelings for him years ago and I wasn’t trying to start now. As long as those feelings stayed familiar. I was used to hating Ben. Those feelings I could deal with. Not whatever the hell it was that I felt last night. Or didn’t feel. Cause I didn’t feel anything.

  “Mia, are you that same girl that used to live here? The girl that wouldn’t dare say a cuss word or wear a bikini like the one you’re currently rocking the hell out of?” She smiles and playfully wiggles her brows.

  “No. I guess not,” I reply flatly. I knew exactly where she was going with this, and I didn’t really want to hear it.

  “Well, Ben’s not that same jerk face loser that would pick on you every chance he got. He’s actually pretty tolerable now.” I try to roll away from her but she grabs my arm, keeping my gaze. “He’s not that guy, Mia. He hasn’t been for a while. And I think you know that deep down.” She pauses, her lips turning up into a sassy smile. “There’s no way that same guy would’ve made you feel the way you felt last night.”

  “Icky? Nauseating? Because that’s how I felt.”

  “Yeah, okay. Tell that to your five orgasms.” She sounds as unconvinced as I feel.

  Whatever. Even if he did own my body, I wasn’t going to admit it to Tessa. Or myself for that matter. “This is so not the way I was hoping to start off my summer.”

  “I can’t imagine starting it off any better. Hot sex that resulted in five glorious orgasms? I’ll take things I’d give my right arm for for two hundred, Alex.” She bumps her shoulder against me and slides off the bed. “I know two men that would help greatly in a situation like this.”

  “I’m not interested in your vibrators. We’re close, but we aren’t that close.”

  I hear her chuckle as she disappears down the hallway. This is unfreakingbelievable. The man I couldn’t get out of my head since I laid eyes on him last night turns out to be the asshole I longed to forget. It was Ben who made me feel hot and wanted for the first time in my life. It was Ben who ignited my skin and made my insides burn, and not in the STD kind of way. It was Ben who I screamed for last night and who I never wanted to leave this morning. Benjamin fucking Kelly. He made fun of my body for years, but last night he worshipped it. Telling me how good I tasted. How amazing I felt. How he wanted to stay deep in my pussy until the day he died. And I was torn between wanting to take back everything that we’d experienced together not even twenty four hours ago and asking him to touch me again. Every time I closed my eyes, I felt his hands on me. His breath on my skin. His tongue on my clit. His cock in my pussy. He claimed me last night and I hated that I loved it.

  Tessa appears in the doorway, two pints of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in her hands. “I say we rent something nonromantic and devour the contents of these containers. You’re in desperate need of a girls’ night and I’m coming at you hard.”

  “Is that Half Baked?” Damn. I haven’t had that in years. She nods and smiles wide. “You’re awesome. I’m so in for girls’ night.”

  “That’s what I was hoping you’d say. Get changed and plant your perky ass in front of the TV.” She leaves me to do just that, and I don’t waste any time. I throw on a sundress and meet her in the living room, diving into my ice cream as she scrolls the movie selections.

  “Wolf of Wall Street or Captain Phillips?” she asks as she flips through the On Demand section.

  “Wolf of Wall Street. I don’t feel like crying and seeing Tom Hanks held captive by pirates will probably wreck me. You know I love that man.” I’ve been hooked on Tom Hank’s films since I watched Philadelphia. And don’t get me started on The Green Mile. I cried like a baby when Tessa and I watched that together. The electrocution scene? I can’t even.

  She starts up the movie and we sit back, both digging into the meals that will surely ruin any appetite for dinner. We are halfway through the movie and our pints when Tessa’s phone rings.

  “You’re interrupting girls’ night, I’ll have you know. And the penalty for your crime is death by dick removal.”

  I giggle around my spoon, my eyes widening as Leonardo DiCaprio snorts coke off some chick’s ass.

  “Hmm, you’re so hilarious. And that’s none of your business. I think you’ve done enough damage to warrant a lifetime of therapy.” I meet her eyes briefly before she turns her head. “Just leave her alone. If she wants to talk to you, she’ll talk to you.”

  I don’t need two guesses to know who she is talking to. And a part of me that I don’t want to acknowledge wishes she is on a land line so I can pick up and listen in.

  “I have no idea, but whatever it is, it won’t be involving you. Now leave us alone so we can watch all this coke get snorted in a way that is definitely heating up everything south of my waist.” She tosses her phone onto the coffee table. “Sorry about that. Apparently, you’re hard to forget.” She smiles coyly at me and I brace myself for what she’s about to say. “But that wouldn’t affect you, because it’s my brother we’re talking about. Right?”

  “Right,” I affirm without hesitation. I’m not falling into that trap. I keep my attention on Leonardo and far away from thoughts of Benjamin Kelly.

  “I mean, it’s not like he was sweet and playful with you or anything.”

  “Nope. Not at all.”

  “And it’s not like he gave you this beautiful experience to treasure for the rest of your life. That so wasn’t Ben.”

  “It so wasn’t.”

  “And he’s definitely not the guy that as you so sweetly put it, worked your pussy until you hummed between your legs for hours afterwards.” I hear her smile through her words, but I don’t turn away from the TV. I don’t want to crack.

  “Definitely not him.” I’m struggling, really struggling not to break. I feel keyed up all of a sudden, like my body is fully charged and ready to go. I’m beginning to fidget and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

  “Quick question. What did Ben call you when he fucked you, since he didn’t know your name?”

  “Baby. Angel. Pretty girl,” I blurt out in the most crushing on a boy sort of way. Even my voice raises an octave. Fuck. I turn toward her then. She won and she knows it, and the smile on her face only adds to my irritation. “I hate you.”

  “You put up an impressive fight, I’ll give you that.” She chucks a pillow at me, hitting me square in the face. “Just admit that you kind of like the idea of my brother knowing all the intimate details of your body.”

  “Never.” I tuck the pillow she hit me with behind my head, taking a giant spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. I need a gag at the rate she’s going with this conversation. I know the more we talk about this; the greater chance of me slipping up and saying something I don’t want to reveal.


  “This might seem borderline inappropriate.”

  “Oh, God. Please spare me.” I’m shoveling ice cream into my mouth at an impressive rate now. Borderline inappropriate for Tessa means cover your ears and please escort all children out of the state.

  She turns her body, tucking her legs underneath her ass. “Is he like really big? Because I’ve heard rumors.” She holds her hands out in front of her, measuring a distance between the two. “Nine inch rumors.”

  “Jesus Christ.” I shouldn’t be surprised. I really shouldn’t. This is Tessa Kelly we’re talking about. She is comfortable enough talking about sex with anybody. Confessional priests included. I’m sure the number of Hail Marys she’s been told to recite is in the hundreds. I drop my spoon into my empty container and sigh heavily. “Why would you want to know that about your brother? That’s incredibly weird.”

  “So I can high five you. Losing your virginity to someone as massive as he may or may not be is worthy of a damn award.” She places her hand lovingly on my knee, but there is nothing tender about this chat. Her tactics are a ploy, a cover to make this conversation seem innocent. “And since your mouth was wrapped around his nine incher, I’m figuring you’d be able to vouch better than anyone.”

  I push her dirty hand away. “For your information, my mouth was not wrapped around him. All of his nine inches stayed in between my legs the entire night.”

  “Ah-ha! So I can believe everything I’ve heard.” She holds her hand up to me, and after several long seconds of debating her gesture, I oblige her with a high five. “Fucking right. I’m jealous. Eight’s my biggest number.”

  “How unfortunate.” I grab the remote and turn up the volume. “Can we please watch the rest of the movie? I’m done discussing your brother’s anatomy with you.” His damn fine anatomy.

  “Alright, alright. But answer me one last question before we finish this.” I look over hesitantly. Lord knows what she could hit me up with next. She smiles. “How are you, anally speaking? Still virginal?”

  “Very.”

  “Well, that’s probably wise considering what he’s working with.”

  The pillow that she used to hit me with is now striking her against the face. “You really should come with a warning label. Please keep away from small children, the elderly, and anyone with a pacemaker.”

  She chuckles, pulling her long auburn hair back into a pony. “As should you. Please keep all dicks less than nine inches away from this pussy, because the bar has been set.”

  I feel my face heat up instantly. Is it weird to agree with her on that assessment? I mean, surely there aren’t many dicks out there that could compare to what Ben was so beautifully graced with. I’ve seen my fair share of pornos, and even those dicks couldn’t hold a candle to his. I slam my head back onto the sofa and stare at the TV. Damn it, Ben. Not only have you ruined my life, but you’ve also ruined all average dick sizes for me. Now I’m going to compare each and every appendage to yours. Thanks a lot, asshole.

  **

  I should be sleeping.

  But since I’m not sleeping, I should be reading a book, or watching TV, or doing anything besides what I am currently doing.

  This is insane. I’ve never been pissed off and horny at the same time before but that’s exactly what I’m feeling right now. It’s an angry lust and I hate it. I want to punch Ben in the throat and I want to fuck him all over the house. And I know for a fact, and I’m ashamed to admit, that I would thoroughly enjoy doing both.

  It’s 3:15 a.m., and while the rest of the Alabama population sleeps, my mind and fingers are very busy as I get myself off for the second time tonight with thoughts of Ben. It doesn’t take me long because he was that good and he gave me a variety of memories to work with. Earlier I thought of him gripping my hips and slamming into me roughly from behind. He grabbed my hair and smacked my ass, and I came when I pictured his tongue licking up my spine and his teeth biting my back. But right now, he’s devouring my pussy with that expert mouth of his. That smart ass mouth that I’d like to smack and then fuck. The one that he suggested I ride when we were out by the pool earlier. My legs are pinned against his head and I’m melting as if he were the sun and I was a popsicle. I come all over my hand, and I can’t push aside the feeling of irritation that pours over me as I let Ben Kelly rule my body for the second time in one hour. And I know without a doubt that he’ll be irritating me again tomorrow night.

  **

  The smell of bacon hits me like a Mack truck, pulling me out of the Ben dream that I was annoyingly enjoying. I’d usually be able to roll over and go back to sleep, but it’s bacon and I could eat my weight in that stuff so the dreams can wait. I am surprised though that Tessa is up and making breakfast. She liked her sleep even more than I did and was usually the last one awake when I used to spend the night with her. Maybe she’s just being a really good hostess. Either way, I’m all for getting woken up daily by this delicious smell.

  I make my way down the hallway, pulling my wild bed head hair back out of my face. “Oh my Godddd, that smells amazing. I’m so hungry right now.” I stop dead in my tracks as the kitchen comes into view. Tessa is not the one cooking breakfast, and I suddenly want to hurl myself back into bed and go for round three with my favorite fingers. I bite back the shiver I feel run through me at the thought of doing just that.

  Ben turns his head and hits me with a smile. “Good morning. What kind of eggs do you want?”

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest and scowling in his direction. Damn it. Now I suddenly don’t just have a hankering for bacon. He’s way too inviting this early in the morning. Slight stubble. Check. Hair sticking up a bit. Check. Vagina awake and ready. Double check. He’s looking very fuckable right now and it irritates me to no end.

  He laughs softly and grabs a plate out of the cabinet. “This is my parents’ house. I eat breakfast here all the time.” He holds the plate of bacon out. “Want some?”

  “No.”

  He stares at me unconvinced. “Did I not just hear you say you’re starving? And I know you want this bacon. We used to fight over the last piece all the time when you’d spend the night here.” He places the plate on the island that is already set for two people and begins whipping up some eggs in a bowl. “Scrambled okay?”

  “You don’t know anything about me. Just because I used to like bacon, doesn’t mean I want it now.” I cross the room with an annoying scowl plastered on my face and open the fridge, pulling out the orange juice. “And I don’t want any eggs.”

  “I know a lot about you,” he says, his voice dropping to a low rumbled tone. I can’t shake the way it ripples through my body, causing all my muscles to contract and my body temperature to spike. “Now sit down and let me feed you.”

  I take a sip of my orange juice and walk over to the couch. “I told you. I don’t want any breakfast.” I begin flipping through the TV channels, trying to calm the hunger that is growing more and more persistent. I want that bacon.

  And the man making it.

  Shut up, vagina.

  “Suit yourself,” he says. The stool scrapes along the floor before the sound of crunching fills my ears. And it’s crispy bacon. Son of a bitch. “Mmm. This is really good. Why don’t you stop being stubborn and get your sweet ass over here and join me.”

  I snap my head around and glare at him. “And why don’t you stop being a creeper and eat breakfast at your own house. You can’t honestly tell me that you’re here just to raid your mom’s refrigerator.”

  His lips curl up into a half smile. That cockiness pouring out of him that I wanted to not find attractive. “No, I can’t. But you can’t honestly tell me that you aren’t at least a little happy to see me. Especially since I cooked your favorite food.” He takes another bite of his bacon strip, smiling arrogantly. “Remember how mad you used to get when I’d steal pieces off your plate?”

  I throw the remote down and stalk over toward the island, seeing hi
m lean back in his chair at my irritated expression. He wants to talk memories? Let’s talk memories. “No, I don’t remember that. What I do remember is you calling me a cannibal, since I liked to eat my own kind.” His confidence quickly vanishes from his face and he seems regretful now. Although I’m not sure if he is regretting walking down memory lane or coming over here in the first place. “It was kind of hard to enjoy my favorite food when assholes like you didn’t let me forget how heavy I was. I went a couple days without eating one time because of shit you said to me. Did you know that?”

  He drops his gaze from my face to the floor. “No, I didn’t know that.” He looks up again, begging me with his eyes. For forgiveness? For a pass on everything he’s ever said to me? Fat chance. “I had no idea I got to you like that. I was a kid, Mia. I didn’t really care about hurting your feelings back then. But Christ, it’s been nine years. I’m not that guy anymore.” He reaches out to stroke my arm but I back away before he can touch me. I don’t want his hands on me. I know exactly how much I’ll like it. His eyes shift and that mischievous glare of his that I am becoming familiar with hits me. “You seemed to enjoy the guy I am now the other night. If I remember correctly, you enjoyed me five times.”

  “Wow. You just totally proved my point.” I grab a handful of bacon and meet his confused gaze.

  “What point is that?”

  I glower at him before turning on my heel and walking back toward my bedroom. “That you’re still an asshole,” I yell over my shoulder. Upon hearing the sound of the stool scraping again, I slam my door and lock it, backing away as the footsteps in the hallway grow louder. They stop right outside my room and the doorknob rattles.

  “Mia, come on. Just sit and eat some breakfast with me.”

  I sit on the edge of my bed and begin crunching on a piece of bacon. “Can you not take a hint? I’m not interested in eating or doing anything with you.” I take another bite and hear some movement on the other side of the door. He needs to leave. I really don’t want to spend the entire day cooped up in my bedroom. And there is no chance in hell that I am slipping into my bikini in front of him again. Not after the lustful way he looked at me in it yesterday. I can’t handle him looking at me like that again. Like he wanted to eat me alive. Like he knew exactly what was underneath that bikini and exactly what to do with it.