Diamonds and Dreams

by Brenda Bone

  He studied her long and hard. “I detect a tremendous sense of peace in your life. It’s the type that’s missing from most people’s lives, including mine. What’s the secret?”

  “It comes from being satisfied with what I achieved in my life—personally and professionally.”

  The phone rang and interrupted their conversation. Lindsay excused herself, answered it, and heard a voice say, “It’s Desi. You probably can guess why I’m calling.”

  “Not really.”

  “Then I’ll be blunt. WBKB needs you.”

  “The station didn’t seem to need me much when you were about to fire me and allow Brant to take over the job.”

  “Are you still upset about my little mistake in judgment? Is that why you told WCIT you’ll work for them—to get even with me by causing me to be in a bind now?”

  “No!” She felt disgusted by his suggestion that she took the new job to spite him. “You should know me better than that, Desi.”

  “If I offended you, I’m sorry.”

  “Apology accepted.” Although I don’t think you really mean it, she thought.

  “Like I said,” he continued, “I’m having a real problem finding a replacement for you.”

  “I thought you already hired someone to do my job.”

  “It didn’t work. I want you to come back, Lindsay. Most of all, your listeners, and there are quite a few, want to hear you on WBKB again.”

  “Sorry. My mind is made up.”

  “How about if I offer you a raise in salary?” The figure he mentioned was much higher than what she earned at WBKB previously.

  “I’m still not interested, Desi.”

  “WCIT offered you more than that, I’ll bet, but did you consider how much extra pressure you’ll be under there?”

  “I can handle it.”

  “Surely you must realize that all the best opportunities are at the larger stations, but you’ll have to scratch a lot of backs before you’ll be able to feel secure with your new job.”

  Growing more impatient by the minute, she raised her voice slightly as she told him again, “I’m not interested, so you’re wasting your time and mine trying to persuade me to come back.”

  “Have it your way then. Don’t come crawling back to Columbus, begging me to give you your old job back after you discover I’m right.”

  “I won’t. Goodbye, Desi.”

  She forgot that Brant listened until she hung up the phone and faced him again. His eyes reflected a tired sadness as he said, “I wish you’d cooperated with Desi. If you’d go back to work at WBKB, our problem would be solved.”

  “No, it wouldn’t. Not for me.” Her voice was strained and she felt exhausted. “It’s late, Brant. Let’s call it a night. I’ll see you tomorrow, won’t I?”

  “Yes.” His shoulders slumped as he walked toward the door, then paused to kiss her devouringly before they parted. “We have something beautiful, Lindsay. Let’s do everything we can to hold onto it.”

  That was all he said before he left her alone and she headed to her bedroom. All night one question invaded her thoughts, preventing her from falling asleep—how much should a woman give up to build a life with her man?

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  “I wish it would stop raining,” Lindsay told Brant in her car the next day after they went bowling. The squeaky sound of the windshield wipers swishing back and forth was bothersome.

  “You could add some sunshine to my day right now if you’d tell me you want to marry me this week and live in Columbus.”

  “Don’t start with that, Brant. Not now. It’s been a wonderful day—one I’ll treasure always. Please don’t ruin it.”

  “All right. The day is far from over. Can’t we spend the rest of the afternoon together?”

  “Sure. What would you like to do?”

  “There’s a tour of new homes in the Windrush Lake subdivision,” he said. “The builders are having open house, so let’s stop by and look through some of the places.”

  “Okay.”

  The first house they saw was a two-story contemporary with an oriental flair. “It’s huge, but a bit too flashy to suit my tastes,” Lindsay whispered to Brant.

  “I know what you mean. Even on this cloudy day I almost need to wear sunglasses to walk through it.”

  The fourth house, designed in the Provencal manner and secluded on two acres, made Lindsay catch her breath. “This house is magnificent. It has the allure of southern France.”

  “It’s my favorite so far, too.” Brant held the carved wooden front door open so she could enter first.

  Inside, Lindsay looked up at the fourteen-foot coffered ceiling, then inhaled the smell of new wood which was all around since several walls were paneled with oak and the parquet floors banded in walnut. A curved staircase near the spacious entry hall reminded her of the ones she read about in romance novels where Southern belles lived in splendid plantations with beautiful winding staircases. However, it was the enormous brick fireplace with a raised hearth that stretched across two walls in the family room that made her sigh in admiration. On the wall across from it were atrium doors which led outside to a redwood deck.

  “Let’s go into the kitchen,” Brant urged her. All the latest modern conveniences were found there. “I’d like to cook breakfast here.”

  “You enjoy cooking?” Somehow, Lindsay wasn’t surprised. Brant seemed at least a little interested in just about everything.

  “Sometimes. I still could use more practice.”

  “Time to move on and see the next house,” she said finally.

  He grabbed her arm. “Wait! Let’s talk about the one we just went through.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want to know what you think of it.”

  “I love it. It’s the house I always dreamed of living in someday.”

  He smiled. “Great! I hoped you’d say that.”

  “What for?”

  “Let’s go sit in the car.” He stood on the paved brick sidewalk and felt a raindrop spatter on his forehead.

  “Don’t you want to see the last few houses?”

  “No.” He helped her into the car, then got in on the passenger’s side.

  She started to put the key in the ignition, but he urged her, “Don’t go yet. Let’s sit here for a few minutes.”

  “Why are you behaving mysteriously?”

  “Yesterday I spoke with a realtor about buying the house of your dreams over there.”

  She gasped. “You’re kidding!”

  “No. I’m interested in it. We negotiated the price and the realtor agreed to accept my offer if I decide to sign the purchase agreement.”

  “I can hardly believe you did this!”

  “This house will sell quickly, Lindsay. If we want it, I need to tell the realtor soon.”

  “We?” she repeated, taken aback by his words.

  “Of course. The only reason I’m considering buying it is if you’ll marry me and live with me here. It has four bedrooms, all that we need for our family, and…”

  “Hold it! Before you make more plans, don’t forget that I’m not going to live in Columbus.”

  “I hoped that if I showed you this house, which seems to have been built especially for us, that you might decide to turn down the new job.”

  His suggestion tempted her. If he wanted to put more pressure on her, he succeeded in doing a good job. Staring at the fabulous house before her, she envisioned herself living inside it with Brant. She loved everything about the place and its neighborhood.

  “Well, should I tell the realtor he has a buyer for this home?” Brant pressed, noticing the way her eyes lingered on the house.

  “I made a commitment to WCIT even before I made one to you.” She looked away from the house and forced herself to meet his hurt expression. “If you’d like to go house-hunting with me in New York, nothing would please me more.”

  “Start the car. There’s no use in wasting any more of our time if I can�
��t convince you to become a resident of Windrush Lake.”

  She returned to her home where he left his car parked in the driveway. Inside she served him coffee and chocolate chip cookies.

  “I see you already packed most of your things,” he observed, looking around the living room where boxes filled with personal belongings lay scattered. “I guess you’re really going to do it.”

  “I wish you’d stop using that tone of voice to talk to me.” She pretended to smooth out an imaginary wrinkle on the sofa cushion. “You make me feel like I did something wrong and now I should be guilty about it.”

  “But it is wrong to throw our love away! Most people search all their lives to find the kind of love we share and they never even catch a glimpse of it.”

  “Brant, I accepted the job at WCIT before you ever asked me to marry you. I did it because I feel it’s right for me.”

  “It’s not right for us, though.”

  “It could be. We’d love each other in New York as much as we would if we lived here.”

  “If I’d asked you to marry me before you received the offer from WCIT, would you still have wanted to go work for that station later?”

  “Yes. I’ll always be interested in learning and advancing my career.”

  “So I was destined both ways to lose you to New York?” He reached out and stroked her hair.

  “I guess so. That is, if you don’t want to go there with me.”

  “Ah, Lindsay,” he moaned, putting his arms around her and scattering warm kisses over her neck. “Do you really think we can ever be happy if we decide to go our separate ways?”

  “I--” She never finished the sentence. His firm lips came crushing down on hers as he caressed her back with one hand.

  Hugging her tightly, he inhaled the clean fragrance of her hair and murmured, “I won’t be whole without you.”

  She knew she should try to resist his kisses to avoid painful memories later, but she was powerless to push him away. “Acting like this now will make us miss each other more later when we’re apart. Don’t make things harder than they already are, Brant.”

  “You want me, Lindsay. Admit it.”

  His thigh brushed against her hip now and she felt a burning desire shoot through her. “Yes, I do.”

  “There’ll never be another woman in my life who can compare to you.”

  “Does this mean you’re going to come with me tomorrow evening when I leave for New York?”

  “No.” His answer felt like a thorn pierced his heart. “I can’t pack up and leave all my responsibilities here. As soon as I have free time, I’ll visit you. Send me your new address and phone number whenever you find out what it is.”

  The sudden coldness of his decision shocked her. Somehow she expected that everything would turn out all right in the end just because she so desperately wanted it to work. She didn’t tell him, but she had no intention of sending him her new address. What would it accomplish? To see him in the future only to have to endure the pain of parting again was an experience she wanted to avoid.

  “I guess this is goodbye then.” Her voice started to crack with emotion as she blinked back tears.

  “Yes.” He gently cupped her chin with his hands as his mouth moved over her lips in a quick, sweet kiss. “Have a safe trip, darling. And don’t forget to write and call me.”

  In a minute he was gone. Her knees felt weak as she crossed the room to the window and pulled back the curtains so she could watch him drive away. When he was out of sight, she threw herself on the sofa and finally allowed the wet tears to flow like slow fountains down her cheeks.

  The warm sun stretched down and touched Lindsay’s face as she awoke following a restless night. Before the next twenty-four hours end, I’ll be headed toward a new life, she pondered. Surprisingly, now that it was almost time for her to depart from these familiar surroundings, she experienced mixed emotions about leaving. On one hand, she looked forward to meeting the challenge that awaited her in New York. At the same time, she felt sad about leaving Brant and everyone else dear to her. She was even a bit apprehensive that she’d enter a new environment where as yet she knew no one, but she anticipated starting a new chapter of her life. Forcing herself to start on last minute chores, she decided to skip breakfast and tackle the work.

  Around noon the movers she hired arrived and began loading her furniture onto a long gray truck. Serita also dropped by to offer assistance.

  Lindsay brushed dust off her blue jeans and pink cotton blouse. “Shouldn’t you be working at the dental office today?”

  “I asked Doc to let me take a vacation day when I found out you’re moving.” Serita opened a white paper sack that she brought with her. “Here are some roast beef sandwiches and soft drinks. Since I figured you might be hungry, and it could be a long time before we have lunch again, I stopped at a restaurant and got a carry-out order for us.”

  “That’s thoughtful of you. Let’s eat now before the men take away the table.”

  During their lunch, Serita observed, “You’re handling it well.”

  Lindsay glanced up from eating her sandwich. “Handling what?”

  “Breaking up with Brant. I must admit, for my own selfish purposes, I secretly hoped that he’d persuade you to change your mind and stay.”

  “He certainly tried hard enough.”

  Throughout the day she kept hoping that Brant would appear, preferably with his suitcases and an announcement that he’d had a change of heart and decided to go with her. When the sun started to set, casting an eerie red glow over the earth and the maple trees which appeared to be aflame, she finally accepted the fact that he wasn’t coming. Would she ever see him again?

  “As soon as I find tenants to rent your house, I’ll call you,” Serita promised, “and don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything that’s left to do here.”

  “Thanks.” Lindsay embraced her. “By helping me, you made this day much easier. I’ll miss you terribly.”

  “You don’t have to. We can call and write often. New York isn’t so far away that we can’t visit from time to time.”

  “I’d like that.”

  After saying a long goodbye to Serita, Lindsay looked at her GPS, then without glancing back, drove away from her old home. Although she had many friends and happy memories in Columbus, there were sad events of the past which she couldn’t forget as long as she remained in a setting that provided constant reminders each day. She desperately wanted a new beginning in the Big Apple, but why did it have to mean the end of her relationship with Brant? In her heart she knew that she only recently adjusted to the idea of falling in love with him, and already he tried to make demands on her. If she sacrificed her career, wouldn’t she always resent him for taking a very special part of her life away? Yes. In the long run, it would be for the best that they broke up, but this realization still didn’t stop the tears that started to form in her already swollen eyes.

  She’s probably gone by now, Brant thought, sitting in a donut shop on East Main Street. He bit into a raspberry jelly donut, but his taste buds, like his heart, felt numb. He wanted to see Lindsay, try to beg her to stay, one last time before she left, but he forced himself to stay away from her. Let her go to New York and have a chance at making it big. He didn’t doubt that she’d be a success, probably within a few months. Lindsay was talented, possessing the right amount of drive and ambition to reach her highest goals. This was just one of the traits that attracted him to her in the first place. Now it was the one that took her away from him. Anguish wrinkled his forehead as he wished he’d never gotten so deeply involved with her. Then he might not have fallen in love with a woman he couldn’t have.

  If only it were a man instead of a career, he thought, then I’d know more about how to compete.

  Comfort came when he remembered how it felt when he’d been at the top with his own career during the time he worked on the West Coast. At first, there was a deep sense of satisfaction at achieving success, but a len
gthy period of loneliness followed and he wondered why he knocked himself out working so hard when he had no one to share his happiness. He could only hope that, after Lindsay savored the glorious feeling of reaching her dream of being one of the best deejays in North America, that she would miss him and return to him.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  By the end of September, Lindsay became one of WCIT’s most popular radio personalities. Besides wanting to be successful, she threw herself into her work partly because it helped her to stop thinking about Brant so often. She had little time to concentrate on her social life, so she turned down many invitations, mostly from men, coming and going at WCIT. Frank Thomas had been considerate enough to offer her the use of an apartment in a building he owned in the heart of the city until she found the time later to search for a home of her own. Since she worked the day shift now, the nights seemed long. Sometimes she found Brant’s show and listened to his voice online. Hearing him again only left her more frustrated than ever.

  “You’re a regular workaholic,” Dawn Carson, the flamboyant, blonde-haired, blue-eyed program director for WCIT, told Lindsay one afternoon when they had lunch and sat in the Lower Plaza in front of the RCA Building in Rockefeller Center. “I’m glad that you take your job so seriously, but you’d better be careful or you might burn out.”

  Crisp blue and white striped umbrellas above round tables fluttered slightly in the faint breeze. The verdant flower gardens encircling the Prometheus Fountain permeated the air with sweet perfume. Looking around at the other people seated nearby, Lindsay observed how most of them appeared to be relaxed. How strange that the only time she felt comfortable anymore was when she was absorbed in her work.

  There were days when Lindsay fought the temptation to call Brant so she could plead with him one last time to join her in New York. She missed him as much as she had Constance since her death, but Lindsay wasn’t about to change her mind and give up her job. Brant made it clear that he felt the same way about his own career, so she didn’t make any calls to him. What was the use?