A Healer for the Highlander
Page 18
‘Is that the way of it then between you two?’
‘My lady?’
‘The talk is that you share his bed, which is not my concern since you are both free to do so. The problem is that it is now known by too many to keep it quiet. And now your son has become involved.’
‘My son?’ Had Iain spoken to someone about finding Davidh in her bed? He would never. ‘What has happened to Iain?’ Anna strode towards the door, stopped by the lady’s hand on her arm.
‘The boy is fine. ’Twas just a tussle between him and another lad.’
‘When? Where?’ Anna asked. The lady did not lift her hand and so Anna stopped next to her. ‘Is he hurt?’
‘Nay, nothing serious. My sons seemed to get into fights all the time when they were younger and came out unscathed. It comes to my mind now that they still do. Their tempers flare and they speak with their fists.’ Anna gasped then. What had happened?
‘He never got into fights before, my lady.’
‘Ah, but I suspect he was never surrounded by lads and young men ready to test him as he is now.’ Lady Elizabeth smiled then. ‘He is at that age when every word challenges and insults and needs to be met with actions.’
‘How did you learn of this fight? When did it happen?’ Anna worried that the lady knew of this before she did.
‘Earlier this morn, over at the stables.’ Lady Elizabeth met her gaze then. ‘You must not make too much of his injuries—a few bruises were all they inflicted on each other—but pay heed to the reasons for it.’
‘My lady?’
The knowing gaze made Anna’s stomach tighten. Someone had repeated Lilias’s insults to Iain. And though her son had caught them together that morn, he still defended her name. Or felt that he must.
‘Just so, Anna.’ The lady stood then. ‘I must get back to Robert.’ Anna stepped back to allow her to pass. ‘I have appreciated your good works here for our people, Anna. You have a place here, in the keep, if you need one.’
‘I will think on it, my lady,’ Anna said. She lifted the latch and opened the door. ‘My thanks for the offer.’
‘Remember, the lads will fight at this age. Try not to make too much of it.’
Long after the lady left, Anna thought about her words, her advice and even the thing Elizabeth had not said. If this trouble had risen to the level when it had been brought to the lady’s attention and she’d felt she must speak about it, then it was bad indeed. Now that Iain had been dragged into it, and only the God knew how that had happened, she could not ignore it and hope it would cease.
She walked around the chamber—now that the tables were arranged in the manner she liked she could pace the perimeter—thinking about her choices.
There were a few before her; all kept her ultimate aim to secure Iain’s true place in the clan in mind. Those meant staying here in Achnacarry and to do so she must either admit or deny her involvement with the commander. If today’s altercation showed her anything, it was that this was only the beginning of such insults that her son would face. And those insults and problems would serve as a hurdle when it came time to establish his parentage.
She’d given her word twice over that she would continue to care for young Colm, so leaving to return at another time was not a choice. If and when the outlaws were subdued making the cottage at the falls safe once more, Anna would move there. In the meantime, though, her choices seemed to be moving here to the keep and...moving here to the keep.
If Anna accepted the lady’s invitation, it would put her closer to the heart of the clan. It would put Iain here, as well. She would still be close enough to care for Davidh’s son. The biggest problem with all of this would be how they would all react to the news that Iain was Malcolm Cameron’s son and heir. Davidh’s loyalties would be torn apart.
His position as commander of all the warriors and to protect his people would be at war with the need to also protect his closest friend’s son. And that would all be complicated by his own promise to help Iain, one made without the full knowledge and based on her own deception. Anna sighed and stopped walking around the chamber.
The sting of guilt filled her then. Making her plan before she knew anyone here was easy. Now that she’d met them and knew the villagers, the lord and lady, and especially Davidh and his son, it was much harder to have faith that her son’s missed inheritance should matter more than their lives and needs. Her own oath on Malcolm’s murdered soul kept her moving forward with her plan.
So, she would remain here in Achnacarry and move into the keep. No sooner had she decided her path, for now, than the door opened once more and her son stood there.
His lip was torn and swollen badly. His nose was bruised, but did not appear broken. Some other bruises rose on his face and she glanced at his hands to see abraded knuckles there. Her first instinct was to fawn and cry over these injuries, but Anna held back her emotions. Her son was clearly trying to handle this situation on his own and she must honour his attempt, even if she was the cause of it all.
‘Do you wish something for your lip? I have an unguent that can help with the swelling,’ she said. Iain’s eyes widened in surprise for he had come here expecting the other reaction from her.
‘’Tis well now.’ Iain stepped within and closed the door. ‘The commander said I should speak with you. Tell you what happened before you heard it from others.’ Anna fought to control herself in the face of his words.
‘So tell me how these came about, then.’
‘I got in a fight with Martyn. He said some things I could not ignore.’ Iain reached up, touched his nose and then smiled at her. ‘I do not think mine is broken, but his might be.’
It was his smile, crooked and slight, that sent her heart racing. In that moment, with his hair pulled back as his father had worn his, and with that proud, cocksure smile sat on his face, he looked more like his father than ever before.
Anna walked to him and ran her fingers over his nose and along the bones in his cheeks and forehead. ‘Nay. Nothing is broken.’ Anna backed away and ran her gaze down over his shoulders and arms to his battered knuckles.
‘Have you washed them?’ she asked. Once more, Anna fought her initial urge to meddle because the lady had been correct—he was at an age when that was not the best course to take.
‘Aye.’
So, the motherly concerns done, that left only the matter of the cause of the fight between them.
‘There was no need to take offence, Iain. Not on my behalf.’ Anna met her son’s gaze then and waited for his own explanation.
‘A man stands up in defence of those under his protection, Mam. Even the commander understands why I had to hit him.’
‘The commander? You spoke to the commander about this?’ What did Davidh have to do with this? Well, other than it was his name tied to hers among the village gossip. For good reason. Any attempts to be discreet had failed.
‘He saw it. He came afterwards and spoke to me.’ Iain’s chest puffed out with something that looked like pride. ‘He understands.’ Anna wanted to ask questions, but her son shook his head then. ‘Lachlan gave me leave only to let you see me and ken that I am well. I must return to my work now.’
Anna clenched her hands and tangled them in her apron to keep herself from pulling Iain to her and hugging the breath from him. She smiled instead, one she did not feel, and hoped did not look like a snarl on her face.
‘See then to your duties, Iain. I am glad you came to me and I am glad you are well...enough,’ she said.
He ran off without another word, so Anna understood that he did not fear returning to Lachlan or continuing to work with the other lad whom he’d fought. His condition did not diminish her guilt, though. Nor did it make her choices or the decision she must make go away.
This might have been the first time he’d faced such a thing. This was not the first time Anna h
ad witnessed it or been the centre of the gossip or attention. And she knew how it would go.
She’d lived with her mother’s people in one village for nigh on five years before a man’s desire for her placed her in an unwanted situation. Refusal of his demands brought his fury and he began telling stories about her, about them, that had not one shred of truth in them. The resultant rumours forced them to move to another place and begin yet again.
Here, now, there was too much at stake to let this get out of control. As much as she liked living in Davidh’s house, as much as she liked him, she could not risk everything that was at stake for her son. For Malcolm’s son.
Anna finished her chores here and then went out to the village, taking with her various ointments and potions for ills and ails as she’d promised. The news of her son’s fight spread out ahead of her every step and the whispers increased until they were not even whispers any longer. By the time she sought the solitude of Davidh’s house to make their supper, her head ached from the tension of the growing gossip.
Worse, she comprehended that she must act quickly to stop this before her only choice was to leave Achnacarry completely. Anna would speak to Davidh this night, after they supped and the lads were asleep, and on the morrow she would accept the lady’s invitation to move and live at the keep.
It was her only choice.
Chapter Twenty
From the strange glances directed at her by both the commander and by her son, the discussion about her move had already begun. Well, if Iain had spoken to Davidh about the fight this morning and its causes, then they had spoken also of the outcomes and difficulties that arose from it.
By the time the lads sought their pallets and she was left alone with Davidh, Anna’s hands trembled and she worried that her decision was not the best one.
And yet, it was. For all concerned. For her and her son.
‘Anna, we should speak.’ His deep voice sent shivers through her. When he...when they joined, it lowered even more as he whispered to her. Another shudder shook her until she gathered herself and nodded.
‘Aye. There is something I need to say.’
He sat across the table from her and nodded, waiting. It was one of the things she most liked about him—he listened before he spoke. Whether man, woman or child, he listened. Now, nervousness filled her as she began.
‘I have lived as a widow before in other villages and it did not take long for these kinds of rumours to arise. The suspicions, the whispering and the rest. Strangers face these things and I should have kenned that simply having the laird’s permission would not overcome it.’
‘Anna,’ he said.
‘Although our intentions were the best, to aid your son and to make it easier for me to treat those in need here in the village, it has turned out differently, Davidh. I ken you have heard the whispers and the insults. Even Lady Elizabeth has.’ Anna looked away from him and stared at the fire burning low in the hearth.
‘And we are not blameless for the rumours,’ he added. Her gaze flicked to his for a moment and the frank desire there, in spite of their present difficulties, warmed her heart somehow.
She’d been a fool to think they could do as they had without being seen or heard. His friend Parlan had heard them. Others might have, as well. Thinking about it, Anna realised that the worst of it had begun after their...meeting in the stables. Heat crept into her cheeks as the memories of that encounter flooded her thoughts. Worse, her body ached for more of his touch.
‘Nay, we are not,’ she said. ‘Now, though, I believe we, I, must head this off before it worsens and the laird rescinds his welcome. I cannot endanger my son...or yours, Davidh.’ She stood then, clasping her hands together. ‘So, I have decided that the best thing to do would be to...’
‘Marry me.’
Anna blinked several times quickly, trying to sort out the two words he’d said. It should be a simple thing—two words—and yet her mind could not take them in. Davidh stood and walked around to her, taking her hands in his. She leaned her head back and looked at his face. Nay, no sign of mirth or jest there. His eyes dark and piercing stared into hers.
‘You were going to say that you and Iain should move out. Move into the keep?’ She nodded. ‘I do not think that will solve our dilemma, Anna, for as long as you are here, I will be drawn to you.’ He reached up and ran his finger down the side of her face, outlining the edge of her jaw and ending on her lips. ‘I will want you the same way that you want me.’
‘Marriage, Davidh?’
Over the years that she’d hidden her lack of a husband by claiming widowhood, Anna had dreamt that one day she would marry. But now? Here? Davidh?
‘Have you never thought of marrying again, Anna? Was that never something you saw in your life once you’d settled here in Achnacarry?’
Had she? Truly, she’d not thought much beyond claiming Iain’s birthright. So much depended on her son that she had not given it any thought and she said so.
‘I confess, I had not thought on it at all,’ she said.
‘Well, I had not thought on it either, but ’twould seem that now is a good time to do so,’ he said. ‘I brought you into this situation that is causing harm to your reputation and standing. I acted on my desire for you and brought you harm. It interferes with your son’s efforts to know his kith and kin and I know that was an important part of you returning here.’
Anna wanted to disagree with Davidh. She wanted to point out that their actions—together—had done the harm. Though, when she thought of what they’d shared, she had no regrets about it. The one thing that struck fear in her heart was his comment about Iain. The fight demonstrated that. And it would not be the last.
But marriage?
‘I know that you have not answered to a man in your life for some time,’ he began, ‘and I will not ask that you give up the healing skills if we marry.’
She had, in truth, never answered to a man other than her mother’s laird or this one. If they married, he would protect her reputation, ease her son’s way and not demand she give up the work that she loved. Honourable, which she expected. Helpful, which she’d anticipated. Reasonable, which she’d known.
So why did her heart beat so quickly, hoping and waiting for something more in his reasons to ask this of her? Why, in spite of her life of fending for herself and her son, did she wish that there was something else, something further, he wanted from her? That he wanted her as his wife and not just all the suitable reasons and expectations? Not because she treated his son?
‘I have not considered marriage to anyone since Mara’s death, Anna. Others have pushed me to do so. Others have offered.’ He reached out and took her hand, drawing her into his arms. ‘You are the first, and only, woman who has managed to make me care. To make me want. To make me...’
He stopped and searched her face. His arms held her tightly against his body and she wanted to scream out her acceptance. His intense gaze softened then and she recognised something deep within it that both elated and frightened her. It would make her purpose and true path more difficult. It would, he would, break her heart if he understood that he was part of her plan. It would break her heart when she revealed the truth. His next words made it worse.
‘And I will protect your son as if he was my own, Anna. I swear this to you.’
Try as she could, Anna could not find the denial within her. A simple word would make all of this so much easier. A simple ‘nay’ would save them both from such pain. Or, by telling him the truth about Iain would stop him from this folly and this offer that was dangerous and terrifying and coveted. She drew in a breath to refuse his offer and was stopped from speaking by his mouth on hers.
He slid his hands into her hair, knocking her kerchief off and tangling those long, strong fingers into her curls. With gentle pressure, he held her there, kissing her over and over. These were different yet aga
in from his other kisses. He’d possessed her mouth before. He’d inflamed her desire and passion with others. These kisses held out a proposal to her. They beguiled and enticed and teased her with their gentleness and underlying passion. They offered her...more.
He lifted his mouth from hers. ‘Will you marry me and be my wife, Anna Mackenzie?’
In that moment, the pragmatic woman she was disappeared into the haze of want and need and...hope. Instead, the part of her that had never had what he offered, the part that had lost everything and everyone she’d loved, the part that wanted love and to be loved, gave the answer.
‘I will.’
* * *
Davidh could be quite efficient when he put his mind to it. He smiled again, for he could not help himself. He’d claimed to Parlan and even to Anna that this offer was about honour, but he admitted to himself that there was more to it. It was just not the right time to express how much Anna had begun to matter to him. To Davidh Cameron. Not to the commander of the Cameron warriors. Not to the chieftain’s counsellor. Not even to Colm’s father. To him.
In just over a week from his proposal, Anna stood by his side before the priest, speaking the words he never thought he’d hear or utter again. After a new outbreak of attacks, they were going to wait, but Robert, or rather Elizabeth, would have none of that. With their help, the arrangements were handled, the priest called and a supper waited for them in the lady’s solar. A small ceremony as befitted them, with friends and close kin at his side.
He looked across the chamber at the lads. Iain had given his blessing when Davidh spoke to him, but Davidh worried a bit over Colm’s reaction to this. He was so young and he still missed his mother, and Davidh wondered if he would accept Anna in this role. Since they’d told both of their sons, the boys seemed to like the idea of gaining a brother. So, if this was all working out, what was it that bothered him? Then as he looked from mother to son, Davidh knew.