My Fair Concubine

by Jeannie Lin

  ‘She says it’s because there’s so much on your mind. I know I’ve been a burden—’

  ‘You’re not a burden,’ he cut in roughly.

  She fell silent, not knowing what to make of the vehemence of his reply. Her heart was pounding. If she wasn’t another servant under his charge, what was she? The ever-present question.

  ‘The stage is at the centre of the gardens, beyond those trees there,’ he offered as a kindness after a pause. ‘You can see them lighting the lanterns now.’

  ‘My lord has been here before, then?’

  ‘In my younger days.’

  ‘When you were a student?’

  He looked surprised. ‘Did Bai Shen tell you?’

  ‘He must have mentioned it in passing,’ she said, trying to sound casual.

  She couldn’t have him thinking that they discussed such personal details, though she vied for every morsel she could scavenge about Fei Long from Bai Shen and Dao. She’d never dare to ask Fei Long so directly. Detached courtesy was all that he wanted from her.

  They finished the meal and she fell back into her role as attendant, remembering to leave the money for the seller and thank him with a courteous bow. She followed Fei Long down the slope of the hill toward the ring of trees at the centre of the park. They were out in the city and she would enjoy this night.

  The stage emerged beyond the tree line. The open pavilion was set on a raised wooden platform and a painting of blue sky and mountains in the distance served as the backdrop. Lanterns had been strung up around the stage to surround it with a welcoming glow. A handful of spectators were seated on the benches around the stage and more continued to gather.

  Fei Long chose a seat near the front and she seated herself in the row just behind him. As instructed, she was to keep a respectful distance. It wasn’t long before they were surrounded by eager attendees on both sides. She stuck her arms tight against her sides to avoid bumping against anyone.

  The audience hushed as the first strains of music rose to fill the empty space above the stage. The blend of stringed instruments, flutes and drum beats wove together to create a majestic mood. Yan Ling searched the stage for the hidden musicians, but saw no sign of them.

  The play opened with the King of Yue and his adviser. She marvelled at the richness of the costumes. The king wore a spectacular robe of black and gold with a bold dragon emblem curving along both sides. His headdress was embellished with strings of pearls and his thick black beard spoke of age and authority. The advisor was dressed in vermilion with a black-tasseled minister’s cap. They sang out their lines with voices that rang through the clearing, holding the audience in thrall.

  It was a well-known folktale. The king was looking for a master with extraordinary skills to train his soldiers. His minister, Fan Li, had heard rumours of an unnamed maiden within the southern forest.

  Yan Ling leaned forwards with excitement as the music changed to depict a journey. A maiden in a flowing green robe entered the stage. Her face was made up with white powder and rouge. An elegant sweep of black paint accented her eyes at the corners. Lifting her chin, she raised her arm in a regal pose and turned to the audience.

  Yan Ling gave a little squeal, but pressed her hand over her mouth when Fei Long glanced back to her. It was Bai Shen! Bai Shen dressed as a woman, and a handsome one at that. He barely looked like himself beneath the stage make-up and the costume was cleverly draped so he took on a more feminine form.

  Bai Shen flashed her a secret smile, his face partially hidden behind the drape of his sleeve. His mannerisms were exaggerated for the stage, but undoubtedly feminine and graceful. The drums began to beat in a driving rhythm as the forest maiden encountered her first challenge: an elderly swordsman who challenged her to show her skill.

  The maiden accepted the challenge with a humble response and a demure tilt of her head. Then she took hold of a wooden staff painted to look like a bamboo stalk and transformed into a warrior.

  Chapter Ten

  Fei Long enjoyed the staging as Bai Shen duelled with the old swordsman, who was of course played by a young actor. The swordsman showed off by spinning his staff in a windmill motion; one hand over the other, the lines of the staff blurring while its shadow danced over the stage. He finished his routine by twirling and tossing the staff so high that it was lost in the night before it spun back down into his hands.

  The audience murmured with appreciation and applauded. After a few drumbeats, the ‘maiden’ responded with an acrobatic routine that was fluid and graceful. She leapt and turned, her robes emphasising her movements so that she seemed to float through the air.

  Bai Shen made up for his lack of discipline in the drinking house with rigorous dedication to his art. Fei Long knew that the actors of the troupe trained as hard as imperial soldiers every day to be able to work their physically demanding roles.

  ‘He’s good!’ Yan Ling exclaimed with delight.

  Fei Long glanced over at her and she seemed to remember herself. She leaned forwards and he bent his head to accommodate her.

  ‘Bai Shen is really good,’ she whispered, her breath soft against his ear.

  ‘It takes many years,’ he explained, ignoring the warming of his body. ‘He trained in acrobatics and dance from an early age.’

  She straightened to watch the performance. As she moved away, her cheek brushed against his in a butterfly movement and every muscle in his body absorbed the touch. He stared ahead, but was only nominally aware of what was happening on stage.

  The maiden defeated the old man and journeyed to meet the king. There she was challenged by a hundred champions, ushering in a major acrobatic routine involving tumblers and dancers dressed in all different colours.

  Fei Long couldn’t resist looking to Yan Ling once again at the height of the scene. Her gaze was fixed on the stage, face upturned. The halo of the lanterns illuminated her so that he had no choice but to see.

  They had spent every moment together for the past few weeks, on the road and then at his home and yet he hadn’t seen. They had shared meals, slept in close quarters, and he had never noticed. She was just a teahouse girl. A grey shadow. A stray kitten.

  Now Yan Ling seemed too far away. He wanted to be next to her so they could watch the adventure unfold. She would whisper questions to him. What does the story mean? Who does that figure represent? And he’d answer. He’d make up answers just to have something to say to her.

  He’d fooled himself into thinking Yan Ling was reserved and unassuming. She was so conscientious about her lessons, anxious over even the smallest of mistakes. Seeing her like this reminded him of how she’d been during that first journey. She had been endlessly curious and eager until he’d stolen the light from her eyes.

  Perhaps he needed to remind himself of his duty to the empire and to her. By summertime, she would be gone, sent to some faceless Khitan lord in the untamed grasslands of the north.

  Fei Long turned back to face the stage before she could notice his unseemly attention.

  Bai Shen finished his dance with a dramatic thump of his spear as he stood to attention, the courageous maiden ready for war. The audience applauded loudly, then the drums beat out a pounding staccato as the troupe scattered to set up for the next scene. Bai Shen, the incorrigible creature, turned to them and winked. Fei Long could hear Yan Ling’s laughter just over his shoulder while he sat in isolation, unable to share in it.

  He was the only one not in disguise that night, yet he was the one hiding.

  * * *

  After the show ended, he tried to impress upon Yan Ling that it was late and they needed to return, but she insisted they find Bai Shen.

  ‘We have to tell him how wonderful he was,’ she said.

  ‘He may hear that too much already,’ Fei Long replied drily.

  She was already trying to weave her way through the crowd towards the stage and having little success. He caught up with her easily while she stood on her toes, trying to search around two ta
ll men blocking her path. It was impossible to resist Yan Ling in her exuberance.

  ‘Come along,’ he conceded. ‘I know where to find him.’

  They circled the stage area to the far end of the gardens to exit through the rear gate. The streets on this side of the gardens were quieter. Sounds of celebration from the main thoroughfare remained an enticing murmur in the distance.

  It had been a few years, but Fei Long was able to navigate his way through the hutong alleyways to the familiar entrance. Performers slipped in and out through the gate, but no one paid the two of them any attention as they entered.

  The courtyard had the same hapless appearance he remembered, with shrubbery that was overgrown and clinging to life. The complex was divided into many small apartments where the actors and musicians of the theatre troupe stayed. Laughter and lively conversation echoed from within the depths of the building. Spirits were high in the wake of a successful performance.

  ‘Bai Shen’s chamber is at the west end,’ he told Yan Ling. ‘Far away from the rising sun, he always said. I’ve put him there enough times after a night of drinking.’

  ‘What interesting times you two must have had in your youth.’

  Fei Long had no desire to drag out those stories. He shot her a cryptic look and proceeded to the apartment situated in the western corner. The door was open and light streamed from it. For propriety’s sake, what little propriety could be preserved, he held her back while he looked into the room first.

  ‘The illustrious Fei Long!’ Bai Shen crowed. He stood before a dressing table and mirror, still in full costume.

  ‘Someone wanted to tell you what she thought of your performance.’

  At his signal, Yan Ling came bounding in excitedly. ‘Bai Shen, you look so pretty.’

  Bai Shen did a half-turn to show off the jade-green robes. ‘And you, young sir, look quite handsome.’ He nodded at the servant’s robe with approval.

  ‘I didn’t know you could tumble like that. Can you show me?’

  ‘You’d hurt yourself.’

  The three of them crowded into the room, which was cluttered with costumes and props. Bai Shen and Yan Ling chattered away like excited children. Yan Ling took the elaborate warrior headdress from him and tried it on. Fei Long laughed at the sight of her, his entire being lifting and lightening in the intimate refuge of the chamber. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the door frame, content to watch while she asked question after question about the performance as Bai Shen washed away his make-up.

  ‘What about your little performance, pretty lady?’ Bai Shen asked, once he had cleaned away the white paint and dark kohl around his eyes.

  ‘I was so nervous. I think I said too much.’ She looked to Fei Long for a final report.

  ‘She was exceptional. Inspector Tong has no reason to doubt.’

  Yan Ling smiled happily.

  Maybe he’d been wrong to keep her so isolated within the house. There was always the risk of being discovered, but she seemed so vibrant tonight when no longer trapped within the confines of the inner chambers. Yan Ling hungered for new sights and sounds. Perhaps if they were careful, she could go out into the marketplace and explore the gardens and temples of the city. He could take her himself. The thought sent unexpected warmth to his chest.

  ‘We should celebrate, then.’ Bai Shen peeled away the outer layers of his robe and hung them on to a hook on the wall. Bit by bit, the man re-emerged. ‘Besides, Fei Long here owes my friends for detaining the honorable Minister Cao.’

  ‘Another time,’ Fei Long said.

  Yan Ling looked mournful. ‘But it’s still so early.’

  ‘It’s the nearly the end of the twelfth hour.’

  ‘Quite early,’ Bai Shen scoffed. ‘Don’t worry. None of your courtly folk will be at this drinking house.’

  It wasn’t so much he feared discovery. Maybe he just wanted to have Yan Ling alone for a moment away from the crowds. Away even from Bai Shen.

  ‘An hour,’ she negotiated, fixing a shrewd look on him as if she were haggling in the morning market.

  He was being selfish. If she wanted adventure, he supposed this was an innocent way of giving it to her.

  ‘An hour,’ he conceded.

  ‘There,’ Bai Shen declared. ‘I should have told you the men of the Chang family could never resist a charming lady.’ He pinched her cheek. ‘I have to teach you a prettier face than that one you used.’

  ‘Hurry up and get dressed,’ Fei Long said with a scowl. He ushered Yan Ling out into the courtyard. ‘Bai Shen flirts with everyone.’

  She blinked innocently. ‘He was flirting with me?’

  Lately, he found himself growing impatient with the

  actor’s antics. Bai Shen seemed to think that he had complete freedom to exhibit whatever outrageous behaviour required to get attention. He scattered compliments to the breeze without thought or care.

  ‘Bai Shen and his friends are shameless. Things can get rowdy,’ he warned.

  ‘You wound me, Fei Long.’ Bai Shen emerged, looking more himself. He’d thrown on an embroidered robe with blue-and-crimson accents, just a touch less ostentatious than his stage costume. ‘Have you forgotten your adventurous student days?’

  ‘I was recalling them quite clearly.’

  ‘Fei Long could outdrink the best of us.’

  ‘Or the worst of you,’ he countered.

  She smiled at their exchange. ‘All I’ve ever seen him drink is tea.’

  ‘I could tell you some stories…’

  Bai Shen took Yan Ling under his wing conspiratorially, but Fei Long stopped them before they got too far.

  ‘Appearances,’ he reminded, looking pointedly to the arm draped over Yan Ling’s shoulder.

  The actor removed his hold with a smirk. ‘Of course. One must always keep up appearances, Lord Chang.’

  The scoundrel was looking for mischief. Fei Long positioned himself securely beside Yan Ling as they continued towards Bai Shen’s favourite establishment.

  The place was close. Just a stagger away, if it came to that. The drinking house was much as he remembered it. Unassuming, with none of the banners and embellishments of the businesses along the main avenue. A scroll of two golden carp circled on the wall just inside the door.

  The first floor was divided into two parlours, left and right. The décor was also simple. Low wooden tables upon bamboo mats. Patrons would crowd into the room, find a comfortable spot on the floor among the pillows and rugs, and spirits would be passed around.

  It was common, almost required, for scholars to engage in nights of drinking and poetry. When he’d been a candidate for the imperial exams, Fei Long had found himself drawn towards these lesser-known houses, mixing with people like Li Bai Shen and his nameless friends. His father’s reputation glared too brightly in the renowned establishments along the main avenue.

  The performers had already gathered in one of the parlours. One of their own sat at the centre, plucking the strings of a pipa. There was a cup of wine in every hand.

  ‘Chang Fei Long!’

  A chorus of greetings rose up. A few he recognised as old comrades. Others were simply joining in with the crowd. They cleared away a spot at the table and he directed Yan Ling to sit beside him. She stared from one end of the room to the other with curious excitement.

  ‘Penalty drink,’ someone declared. ‘Penalty for arriving late.’

  ‘Hot tea,’ Fei Long said to the serving girl as she came to set more flasks on the table.

  A round of jeers met his request, which he accepted good-naturedly.

  ‘Now hear this.’ Bai Shen quickly took position as the centre of attention. ‘Fei Long is a reformed and respectable gentleman now who has very honourably offered to pay for our drinks tonight.’

  More cheers at that. Fei Long thought of the dreaded ledger book. More numbers to subtract, but he did owe this crowd a debt for whatever they had done to detain Minister Cao. He nodded gracio
usly as a rain of toasts came at him.

  Bai Shen was still going. ‘Now, I’ll take my punishment as deserved, but since his lordship is enjoying his tea, his servant there will have to drink for him.’

  Someone pushed a cup into Yan Ling’s hand while Bai Shen looked on with great amusement. She peered at the clear liquid.

  ‘My lord,’ she whispered. ‘What is this?’

  ‘Baijiu.’ Fei Long was quite familiar with the distilled rice liquor that this crowd favoured.

  ‘All at once is how it’s done.’ Bai Shen lifted his cup to her. ‘I know how important it is for you to uphold the Chang family honour.’

  Fei Long eyed the actor. ‘What are you playing at?’ he asked quietly.

  His friend grinned before tossing back his drink. Yan Ling tried to do the same. She swallowed with difficulty. A moment later her eyes shot wide and her mouth contorted into a grimace.

  ‘It doesn’t taste so bad if you don’t make that face,’ Bai Shen said with a laugh.

  The crowd roared with approval as she doubled over coughing. Fei Long closed a hand over her shoulder to steady her.

  ‘Are you all right?’

  Yan Ling finally righted herself and looked at him, eyes watering. ‘Fine,’ she choked out. Then, ‘That was awful.’

  She pressed her fingers to her throat in a gesture that was all too delicate. Already there was a slight flush to her cheeks that he couldn’t describe as anything but alluring. The party had resumed around them in a swirling mass of conversation. This crowd of actors likely recognised she was female, but they’d go along with the ruse.

  ‘I suggest you don’t do that again.’ He handed her some tea to help soothe her throat.

  ‘There’s no danger of that,’ she promised, taking a grateful sip.

  But within minutes, the burning in her throat had eased and she decided that perhaps baijiu wasn’t so bad after all. A slow, not unpleasant warmth spread through her muscles. Someone else pushed a cup of warmed wine into her hands. She looked to Fei Long uncertainly, but he was in conversation with the fellow next to him.

  Why did she have to ask for permission? She was always searching for approval and acceptance from him. It was exhausting.