Black Hole Battle

by Lucy Courtenay

  “Fifty?” Captain Krill guessed.

  “Fifty tables with ten place settings at each!” Fuzz said. “Five hundred plates of uneaten galactic gazpacho! Do you realize what this means?”

  “You’re good at maths?” Rocky suggested.

  “It means no one liked his soup. No wonder Marin-8’s cracking up!”

  The penguins’ balloons were starting to lose height. The penguins steered towards the long table – the only table the Hoovertrons had left untouched – and landed on the white tablecloth beside a vast flower arrangement.

  Fuzz seized the opportunity to dip a flipper into a large bowl of galactic gazpacho and taste it.

  “Yuck,” he said. “Too much salt. No wonder no one ate it.”

  “Flowers grow big around here, don’t they?” said Captain Krill, staring up at the waxy red undersides of three extremely large petals.

  “They’re not big,” said a squeaky voice nearby. “You’re small.”

  Two strange-looking aliens crept out of the flower arrangement in front of the penguins. They were brown, with fins on their heads, very long arms and very short legs. The taller one was the same size as Fuzz.

  “I’m NOT small,” said Fuzz in a dangerous voice.

  The bigger of the finned aliens pointed at himself. “I’m not usually this size. Nor is my wife. It’s the black hole that’s doing it.”

  “I’ve been trying to tell you, Captain,” Splash sighed. “But you wouldn’t listen.”

  The truth suddenly hit Captain Krill like a fish-shaped cricket bat. He clapped a flipper to his forehead. Now everything made sense. The spacious spacesuits … the massive menacing Hoovertrons … the huge pink helium balloons…

  The footprints in the library didn’t belong to four different-sized, one-legged aliens, but one shrinking alien, just as Splash had suggested. And the penguins were shrinking too!

  “We’re Peabo and Peabo,” said the bigger alien. “From the planet Peabo.”

  Rocky looked from one alien to the other. “Which is which?”

  “I’m Peabo,” said both aliens, helpfully.

  “I am Captain Krill of the Tunafish,” said the Captain. “And this is my crew – Rocky Waddle, Splash Gordon, Fuzz Allgrin.”

  “I am NOT SMALL,” Fuzz repeated.

  “So the black hole is shrinking us?” Rocky said.

  “Finally,” Splash said. “The ice cube drops.”

  “The black hole has affected every living thing on board the ship,” said the smaller alien. “Peabos like us. Oomthrods and Warples and Ullabullas and Jimjams.”

  Rocky peered among the flowers. “Where is everyone else?”

  “We escaped when Marin-8 took control of the ship,” said the bigger Peabo. “The other passengers shrank more quickly than we did and were easy for Marin-8 and the Hoovertrons to round up. They’re all locked in a cupboard in the library.”

  “The chef drove the ship into a black hole right in the middle of his banquet? Why?”

  “No one liked his soup,” said the smaller Peabo.

  Fuzz looked meaningfully at the other penguins. “See what can happen when you upset a chef?”

  “He went mad,” said the bigger Peabo. “He’s controlling the ship now and the robot staff are his army. They turned off all the lights and the engines. The black hole will swallow us all up unless you do something!”

  “YOU sent the message! YOU left the words in the library and the aquarium!” said Captain Krill.

  Peabo and Peabo brightened. “You saw our messages? We were worried in case the Hoovertrons tidied them away.”

  As if hearing their name, the Hoovertrons came to life again with a sudden whirring noise. Hundreds of robot eyes glowed in the penguins’ direction. In the middle, Marin-8’s eyes glowed the brightest of all.

  “TIDY,” he grated. “CLEAN. DESTROY.”

  “Time to leave,” said Splash.

  “If we can,” said Rocky.

  “Hey, Marin-8!” Fuzz shouted at the robot chef. “Your galactic gazpacho sucks!”

  Marin-8’s head started spinning.

  “What did you say that for?” gasped Rocky. “Now he’s really mad!”

  “It’s important to be honest about food,” said Fuzz.

  Captain Krill eyed the nearest balloon. He studied the burning candles on the chandelier. He made a decision.

  “We’re small enough to all ride one balloon now, including the Peabos,” he said. “We must steer it towards that chandelier.”

  “But won’t the balloon catch fire?” said Rocky.

  “Yes!” said Splash, his eyes brightening as he saw the Captain’s plan. “The balloon will burst.” He pointed at the doors. “And we’ll rocket through those doors, and away from Marin-8 and his Hoovertrons. We’re almost at the aft of the ship. We’ll be at the flight deck in two shakes of a dolphin’s tail. Right, Captain?”

  “Exactly,” said Captain Krill. “It’s an excellent plan,” he added modestly, “even if I say so myself.”

  “Except the engine room and flight deck are fore,” said one of the Peabos. “At the front of the ship. Past the ice rink and the games area.”

  There was a nasty silence.

  “Ah,” said Captain Krill.

  “So we have to go back the way we just came?” said Fuzz.

  “It seems so,” said Splash.

  “I knew we should have turned right,” said Rocky.

  “Captain? We have seven minutes,” said Splash. “Give or take thirteen seconds.”

  The best captains always keep their heads in a crisis. “Plenty of time,” Captain Krill said with a deep breath. “We will leave this ballroom as planned, and retrace our steps. Then we will power the Superduper Startrooper out of trouble and everyone can go back to normal size again. One for all…”

  “And all for FISH!”

  The Space Penguins and the Peabos grabbed on to the ribbon of the helium balloon.

  Marin-8’s mad eyes gleamed even brighter as Fuzz untied the ribbon. Lights flashed on his belly.

  Suddenly there was a fierce gust of air. The balloon blew wildly from side to side, nearly throwing off its passengers.

  “Marin-8 must be controlling the central power system by remote!” Splash shouted, fighting to hold on as the balloon rose towards the chandelier. “He just turned the air-conditioning on!”

  They were being sucked towards the spinning blades of a ventilation unit.

  The chandelier was getting closer. The balloon brushed against the flames of the chandelier’s candles.

  The Peabos squealed again. The burst balloon rocketed towards the door so fast that the Space Penguins almost lost their flippers. The Hoovertrons and Marin-8 were a blur below them.

  “We’re going to crash-land!” Rocky bellowed, as they hurtled through the doors.

  Captain Krill placed his flippers over his head in the way NASA had taught them.

  “It’s OK!” said Fuzz suddenly. “We’re going to land in the—”

  SPLOSH! SPLOSH, SPLOSH, SPLOSH!

  Of all the places to land, a gigantic aquarium wasn’t bad. The penguins went into swim-mode, angling their flippers, paddling hard with their feet and pointing their beaks like arrows.

  “Swim ya laters, fat potaters!” shouted Fuzz, darting in and out of the water.

  The Peabos had grown bright red gills and were swimming almost as fast as the penguins.

  Rocky spun round in a watery arc to chomp up a fish. “I hope that guy agrees with me,” he said, leaping from the water with a burp.

  “It’s too late to argue with it, Rocky,” said Splash. “You’ve eaten it.”

  “Agrees with my TUMMY,” explained Rocky, and burped again.

  A huge, eel-like monster suddenly loomed through the water. Its metallic scales flashed and sparkled. Its vicious teeth shone like daggers.

  “What in the name of narwhals is that?” said Captain Krill in shock, popping up to the surface.

  “It’s the guy I caught
earlier!” said Fuzz. “I recognize those teeth.”

  “Keep swimming!” the Captain ordered, bursting to the surface to take another breath. “Don’t let the fish get you!”

  “An interesting problem,” said Splash, skimming beside the Captain. “Seeing how fish are normally scared of us.”

  They dived back under the water again, swimming for their lives. The eel was getting closer.

  “How come it hasn’t shrunk?” Rocky asked, the next time the penguins came up to breathe.

  “Didn’t we see an eel-like robot cleaning the tank when we were on the viewing platform?” said Splash. “I think you caught the only non-fish in the aquarium, Fuzz.”

  “If I can’t eat it,” said Fuzz, “I’ll fight it instead. Ninja PENGUIN!”

  Changing direction in the water, Fuzz swam straight at the metallic monster.

  “He’s too small to fight that thing alone,” said Captain Krill.

  “I’M NOT SMALL!” Fuzz shouted, as the robot eel whacked him right out of the water with its tail. “Chocks away, manta ray!”

  The others dived after Fuzz, to lend him a flipper. As the robot eel gave another furious flick of its tail, the space mates soared through the air together.

  They crashed into the corridor wall and instantly started sliding.

  “Whoa,” shouted Rocky, trying to keep his flippers by his sides, as they whooshed along a golden ledge. They had lost the Peabos somehow.

  “Where are we?” shouted Splash.

  “Who cares!” Fuzz roared, whizzing faster than the others. “We’re moving in the right direction, and we’re doing it in style!”

  The golden ledge was climbing. A precipice was looming…

  “Whaa!” screamed Rocky, as they sailed off the end.

  WHAM!

  The penguins landed hard on another golden ledge and the whole thing started again.

  “We’re riding the zigzags on the wall!” Splash shouted, careening along beside Rocky. “I love it!”

  Each zigzag was bringing them closer to the carpeted floor of the cruiseliner. When they shot off the last zig, they tumbled head over flippers on to the floor. They had travelled past the viewing-platform steps and the library. The huge shooting-star shaped ice rink now glittered in front of them. Way beyond the rink and the games area, a long carpeted corridor ended at a door.

  “That must be the flight deck,” Splash said.

  There was still a long way to go, and they had barely five minutes left.

  “Cross the ice as fast as you can!” the Captain ordered.

  The ice felt cold and comforting on their bellies. Fuzz and Splash zoomed beside the Captain, as Rocky whizzed along on his back. But it was still a long way for tiny flippers. Panting, the penguins crawled off the rink and flopped into the games area.

  Whirr. Whirr. Whirr.

  “CLEAN,” came Marin-8’s voice. “TIDY. DESTROY.”

  “Marin-8 and his metal army are about to cross the aquarium bridge,” Captain Krill warned the others.

  “Four minutes to go,” Rocky moaned.

  “Galloping goujons,” said Splash suddenly, as he eyed the shiny, bright red robot. “The red metal in my toolbox, I’ve just realized what it is!”

  “That’s terrific and everything,” said Rocky, giving Splash an urgent shove, “but we have to waddle down a massive corridor to save everyone’s lives just now. Can we hear the science lecture later?”

  “It’s meganesium!” said Splash.

  The penguins swung their heads sharply back to where their abandoned spacesuits lay in a heap beside the aquarium. Splash’s toolbox was there, its eggy shape peeping out from underneath the suits.

  “Meganesium?” said Captain Krill. “The most explosive metal in the universe?”

  “All it needs is a drop of water, and BOOM,” said Splash, “it would wreck this central space completely.”

  “Wouldn’t it destroy the whole ship?” Captain Krill asked.

  “Not quite,” said Splash. “There isn’t enough of it to breach the hull.”

  Captain Krill eyed the toy crossbow lying sideways on the carpet nearby. Now they were so small, the crossbow was the size of a cannon.

  “Can you load that, Fuzz?” he said.

  “On it,” said Fuzz at once. “Rocky, lend me a flipper.”

  “What’s the plan, Captain?” said Splash, as Rocky and Fuzz heaved a massive foam bullet into the crossbow chamber.

  “We aim this toy weapon at your toolbox,” Captain Krill said. “If we can burst it open and knock it into the aquarium, the magnesium will get wet and explode, taking those robots with it.”

  “Cool catfish,” said Fuzz.

  The trigger was so big it needed both Rocky and Splash to pull it.

  “Fire!” cried the Captain.

  Fing! The foam bullet made a quiet whizzing noise and nose-dived into the carpet a few metres from the toolbox.

  Whirr. Whirr. Whirr.

  “CLEAN. TIDY. DESTROY,” said Marin-8, leading his Hoovertrons over the bridge.

  “Again!” Captain Krill shouted.

  Fuzz and Rocky fitted another foam bullet. Splash made a couple of adjustments. Once more the penguins heaved on the trigger.

  Fing!

  The foam bullet flew straight at the heap of spacesuits. Splash’s toolbox rocked on to its egg-shaped tip, rolled over, broke open – and splashed into the aquarium.

  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

  Water, fish, glass, metal and robots cascaded into the air. The viewing-platform steps crashed to the ground, the ice rink cracked from side to side and the climbing wall fell into what was left of the aquarium. Water washed through the ship as the Superduper Startrooper rocked and shook like a shrimp in a tumbledryer – but the vessel stayed intact.

  The dust began to clear. The penguins cheered as heaps of robot springs, coils, nuts, bolts, wires and rivets settled into clinking piles.

  A couple of Hoovertrons that had avoided the explosion were madly vacuuming up the mess. A few others had made it as far as the ice rink, but were now spinning round in confused circles on the slippery surface.

  “That’s a lot of spare parts,” said Splash happily.

  “Look out, Captain!” said Rocky.

  Marin-8 had survived the explosion – but only just. Water gushed from his articulated joints. He had only one utensil-arm left. Springs hung out of his belly and his chef’s hat was tipped to one side. “CLEAN. TIDY. DESTRUG,” he said in a watery, broken voice. “DESTRUG! DESTRUG!”

  “I don’t know which I prefer, destroy or destrug,” said Rocky.

  Captain Krill suddenly climbed into the crossbow chamber. “Turn this round and aim me at the flight deck,” he said.

  “You’ll end up as penguin pâté!” Splash gasped.

  “Can you think of a faster way of getting me there?” Captain Krill demanded, settling himself down in the chamber. “We have three minutes left to save this ship and everyone on it. Fire me, then follow me as best you can. That’s an order!”

  The black hole was so close that the penguins could see its dark and swirling heart through the windows. There was a creaking, groaning sound and a dull snap as the Superduper Startrooper’s huge tail fin snapped off. It spun past the windows and vanished into the black hole.

  “Fire me, for plankton’s sake!” Captain Krill roared.

  Splash, Rocky and Fuzz turned the crossbow until it was facing in the right direction. Behind them, the vengeful robot chef was getting closer, shakily waving his remaining arm at them.

  “DESTRUG! DESTRUG!”

  “He’s not so keen on tidying and cleaning any more, is he?” said Fuzz.

  “One, two, three, FIRE!” shouted Splash.

  Fing!

  Captain Krill flew like a black and white arrow through the air, keeping his flippers by his sides and his beak as pointy as possible.

  THUMP!

  He skidded on the carpet, rolled beak over feet and smacked into the flight-deck door
, which swung open.

  A tiny orange alien was sitting gloomily on the pilot’s chair with its chin in its tentacles. A huge pilot’s hat was beside it, a pencil stuck in the hatband.

  “Captain Krill of the Tunafish, reporting for duty, sir,” said Captain Krill, getting to his feet.

  The little alien gave a gloomy tentacled salute in return. “Commander Zizzwig Blap of the Superduper Startrooper. And it’s madam.”

  “We need to turn your thrusters on,” said Captain Krill.

  Commander Blap waved a sad tentacle at a big red button way above Captain Krill’s head. “Be my guest.”

  Fing!

  “What a ride!” Fuzz said, jumping to his feet and dusting off his tummy. He waved cheerily at the pilot. “Hey, little guy, we’re here to turn on your thrusters and get the hake out of here!”

  “Like I just told your friend,” said Commander Blap, “it’s madam. And I can’t reach the thruster button. You can’t reach the thruster button. No one can reach the thruster button.”

  “If we work together,” said Captain Krill, “I’m sure we’ll find a way.”

  Fing!

  Rocky got to his feet and smoothed down his eyebrows. “Why aren’t the thrusters on yet?”

  “We have a problem,” said Fuzz, and pointed up at the red button.

  “That’s not a problem,” said Rocky. “That’s a button.”

  The whole ship was groaning and creaking around them.

  “Stand on my shoulders, Rocky,” the Captain ordered. “Fuzz, you stand on Rocky’s. See if we can reach it that way.”

  Rocky scrambled on to the Captain, pulling Fuzz up behind him. Fuzz stood on tiptoe, reaching with his tiny flippers for the button.