by Darcy Burke
She clenched the book in her hands. “You’re going to use him.”
He grimaced. “That’s such an unpleasant way of putting it.”
“Then how would you say it?”
“I am going to enable him to get more money by letting him give me money.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I know, but it’s what he says he does and I’ll go along with it.”
She doubted Perry came out and said it like that, but since she hadn’t heard the conversation, she couldn’t effectively argue the point.
“Did I miss anything interesting?” Perry asked from behind her.
She spun around in time to see him entering the room. She opened her mouth to tell Perry what they’d been discussing but saw the way her brother’s eyebrows rose and thought better of it.
“I was just telling my sister that it’s wonderful you two have a love match,” Stewart finally said. “You don’t often hear of such marriages anymore.”
“No, you don’t.” Perry turned to her and smiled. “Which is why I’m a fortunate gentleman.”
“It’s good to see someone who knows my sister’s worth.”
“I need to go,” she mumbled and hurried out of the room, ignoring Perry as he called for her.
If she stayed any longer, she was going to throw up. She just knew it. It’d been a terrible mistake to join Perry and Stewart. Lifting her skirt, she raced up the stairs and didn’t stop until she was back in the comfort and safety of her bedchamber. And her tears were already falling by the time she slammed the door.
That evening, Paula decided to go without dinner. Instead, she sat in front of her vanity, dressed in one of the beautiful gowns Perry had bought her. When she looked at her reflection, she saw the lady he created: someone lovely, someone honest, someone true. But it was all a charade, and she couldn’t go to the dining room and act as if everything was all right.
A tear slid down her cheek. No matter how much her brother acquired, he always wanted more, and in his whole entire life, he was never satisfied. No matter how much he got. Their father had left a sizable inheritance upon his death, and though Stewart was instructed to leave Paula and their mother a decent monthly allowance, they barely saw enough to get them through. He wasn’t hurting for money. He was living comfortably and could for the rest of his life. But it just wasn’t good enough.
Her hands shook and more tears fell. The only way to protect Perry was to tell him about Lord Holloway. Once she did, her brother wouldn’t be able to use Perry. She had no choice.
Perry was going to hate her. Not only did she have a tainted past, but she’d lied and stolen from him. She brought the handkerchief up to her face and wiped her eyes, but it was no use. She couldn’t stop crying, and the more she tried to stop, the faster the tears came.
Even in his disappointment, he’d be kind. He’d probably find her a cottage to spend the rest of her life in and, unlike Stewart, he would make sure she had enough of an allowance to live comfortably. But she’d be away from him. He wouldn’t hold her or kiss her anymore. He wouldn’t come to her bed to make love to her. She’d have to live without his love.
She was such a fool to think her past wouldn’t catch up to her—to think that she could have any kind of future with someone like Perry. She should have run off before they reached Gretna Green. She could have spared herself and Perry so much pain.
A light tapping on the door of her bedchamber made her temporarily stop crying. She stood up and walked to the door. After a shaky breath, she managed, “Perry?” But then it occurred to her that Perry would use the door connecting their bedchambers, not the one that led to the hallway.
“My lady,” her lady’s maid began, “I came to tell you that Mister Robinson and his wife have arrived.”
Mister Robinson? Oh, Christopher! “I’ll be down shortly,” she called out.
“Do you want me to help you, my lady?”
“No, I’m fine.”
She went to the basin and poured water in it then washed her face. The water felt cold against her hot cheeks. Looking in the mirror, she realized everyone would be able to tell she’d been crying. Her blotchy red cheeks and puffy eyes weren’t going to go away for at least a half hour.
Her first thought was to make up some excuse and wait until no one could see she’d been crying to come down, but that would be another lie and she was tired of lying. She’d just have to go down there and face everyone. Pulling a new handkerchief out of her vanity drawer, she wiped her face again then left the room.
“We would have waited for an invitation if we believed one was coming,” Christopher said as he stepped out of the carriage.
Perry glanced over his shoulder to see if Stewart or Paula had come outside to greet his cousin and wife, but the stairs leading up to the manor were still vacant. Turning his attention to Agatha as Christopher helped her out, he bowed a greeting. “I’m glad to see you. And,” glancing at Christopher, “you, too.”
Christopher looked around then pointed to himself. “You mean me?”
On impulse, Perry decided to do something he hadn’t done since Christopher’s parents died. He hugged him.
Christopher pulled away from him. “Are you dying?”
“Of course not. I’m just happy to see you.”
“We need to get a doctor,” Christopher told Agatha.
Laughing, Perry patted him on the shoulder. “I don’t need a doctor. I’m doing fine. I was going to ask you to come visit. Having you here will be good.”
“All right. Who are you and what did you do with Perry?”
“Just be glad he’s happy to see you,” Agatha told Christopher and smiled at Perry. “I take it things are going well with Paula.”
“They are. I can’t remember a time when I’ve been happier,” Perry replied.
“I don’t think your wife would agree with you,” Christopher muttered in Perry’s ear.
Perry leaned on his cane as he turned to the stairs, surprised when he saw that Paula had been crying. He thought she and Stewart had an argument while they were alone earlier that day, but he didn’t realize it upset her so much that she cried. Why didn’t he think to have the butler go in with something to eat? Having someone else in the room would have prevented them from talking about anything personal.
“Why do you constantly resist reading that book?” Christopher whispered, his tone indicating his surprise.
Leave it to Christopher to assume Paula was crying because she wasn’t satisfied in bed. Sighing, Perry glared at him. “This has nothing to do with the book. I’ll explain later.”
“Paula,” Agatha said as she hurried over to her, “what’s wrong?”
Stewart chose that moment to glide down the steps as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “I hear we have more guests.”
Christopher glanced from Paula to Stewart, his eyes growing wide.
“Christopher, this is Paula’s brother, Stewart Leighton.”
“Yes,” Christopher slowly said, “I remember him.”
Right. Christopher was there to cheer Paula on for her quick thinking when she managed to avoid having to talk to her brother at the ball where they met. “He wished to congratulate Paula and me on our marriage so I wanted to invite him for a visit.”
Christopher’s gaze went back to Paula. “I see.”
Perry had to hand it to Christopher. He was quickly figuring out that she was crying because of her brother. And that might make it easier to pin Stewart down.
Agatha wrapped her arm around Paula’s and led her back inside, talking to her in low, soothing tones. It was definitely good that Christopher and Agatha had arrived. Paula needed a lady she could confide in, and being a lady, Agatha would have a better way of comforting her than Perry did. Perry had tried everything but it wasn’t enough.
Perry motioned to Christopher and told Stewart, “This is my cousin, Christopher Robinson. His wife, Agatha, went inside with Paula.”
�
�It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Stewart greeted. “I’m afraid we weren’t properly introduced the first time we saw each other.”
Christopher offered a nod. “How long will you be staying?”
“Only a week. I don’t want to wear out my welcome.”
“That’s probably a good idea. There’s only so much chess a gentleman can take.”
Perry chuckled. “Christopher, you’re a decent player when you choose to be.”
He grimaced. “Chess is boring.”
“I’m surprised you think so when you’re so good at strategy.”
Christopher’s jaw dropped, and Perry hid the urge to grin. He had no idea that complimenting his cousin would startle him so much.
“Well,” Perry continued as he motioned to the entrance where the footman waited for them, “dinner will be served soon.” Then he led them inside.
“I don’t think the gentlemen will mind that we decided to eat up here,” Agatha said as the maid set their dinner on the table in Paula’s bedchamber. Once they were alone, she sat across from Paula and smiled. “Besides, after the long ride with Christopher, it’s nice to have another lady to talk to.”
“Did Christopher bore you?” Paula asked as she slowly took a cloth napkin and spread it over her lap.
“Hardly. But he refused to keep his hands off of me.”
Paula looked at Agatha to see whether or not she was jesting, but Agatha didn’t strike her as the type of person to make such jokes.
“Not that I mind being touched by my husband,” Agatha added. “But he was trying to get me to do it in the carriage, and there’s no way that’s happening.”
“Do it? You mean…it?”
She nodded as she buttered a roll. “I might be willing to try some new things, but I don’t want to be in the middle of a passionate moment when the carriage hits a large hole in the road. I don’t care what he thinks. That would be very uncomfortable.”
The carriage wasn’t the best place, but there was no way Paula would explain why she knew that. “If Christopher puts up a fuss about it, just tell him the anticipation will make it even better when you finally do it in a place that’s more comfortable.”
“I’ll have to remember that.” She gestured to the food in front of them. “Won’t you have something to eat?”
“I’m not hungry.” To her irritation, her stomach growled, betraying her.
“You mean you don’t have an appetite?”
“Yes.”
Agatha finished her roll and wiped her mouth with her napkin before setting it back on her lap. “I’m a private person. If something bothers me, I tend to keep it inside. So I understand if you would rather not talk about anything that’s bothering you. But I want you to know that if you need to talk, I’m a good listener who can keep a secret.”
Paula lowered her gaze to the napkin and ran her fingers along the edges of it. While it was tempting to confide in a lady, it wouldn’t be fair to Perry. He was the one she had to tell, and she wouldn’t shame him by telling another person. “I can’t.”
“All right.” With a sympathetic smile, she asked, “Is there anything you would like to discuss?”
Relieved Agatha wasn’t going to press her for more information, she picked up her spoon and dipped it in the soup. Maybe she could eat something light. “Well…um…why did you and Christopher come here?”
“That’s easy. He wanted to see how things are going for you and Perry. Don’t tell anyone, but I think Christopher sometimes misses him, even if he claimed that his cousin didn’t let him enjoy life enough.”
Her lips curled up. “I think Perry misses Christopher, too.”
“They’re such an odd pair. Perry is serious while Christopher’s whimsical.”
“Perry is serious, but he doesn’t always seem to be that way.”
“Oh, he isn’t, and Christopher isn’t always whimsical.” With a chuckle, she added, “When we got out of the carriage, Perry told Christopher he was glad to see us and gave Christopher a hug. I almost burst out laughing but that would have only embarrassed Christopher so I managed to hold it in. That was the first time I’ve seen Perry put Christopher off guard. Usually, Christopher is the one who shocks Perry.”
“It sounds like Perry’s figured out a way to not let Christopher bother him.”
“I think you’re right.”
Her tension easing, Paula tasted the soup. Maybe tonight, she wouldn’t go to bed hungry. But she still had to face Perry. She had to do it before Stewart asked for the two-hundred pounds. Perry had to say no because if he didn’t, Stewart would only keep coming back, and she owed it to Perry to make sure that never happened. But first she’d eat. Then she’d figure out what to do next.
TWENTY-FIVE
Christopher pulled Perry aside before they followed Stewart into the drawing room. “You are aware that he’s not your friend?” He nodded toward Stewart who poured some brandy into his glass.
“I’m well aware of that,” Perry whispered.
“I mean, he doesn’t have your best interest in mind.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Then why is he here?”
“Because I need to help Paula.”
“With what?”
“I don’t know yet. Now, come in before he gets suspicious.” Perry used his cane to move the door open a little further then stepped into the room. “Hopefully, the ladies will join us soon.”
Stewart sat in a chair and let out a contented sigh. “I’m not a lady, so I have no idea how long they take to do anything.”
Christopher sat in another chair. “But you have a sister. Certainly, you had to wait for her at some point.”
“Paula always did her thing and I did mine.”
“Didn’t you eat your meals together?”
“Most of the time, I didn’t eat at home.”
Perry sat on the settee and glanced at the doorway. If Paula chose to come down tonight, he’d like to sit beside her.
“Are you saying you weren’t interested enough in your sister to want to share some meals with her?” Christopher asked.
“Christopher,” Perry warned, still gripping his cane. “It’s not our business what Stewart did with his time.”
“Oh, I don’t mind the questions,” Stewart told Perry. “When my mother died, I made it my duty to find Paula a suitable husband. In doing so, I spent a lot of time talking to gentlemen to get an idea of who would make a good match.”
“And you chose that repugnant Duke of Leavenshire?” Christopher asked.
Noting the disgust in his cousin’s voice, Perry said, “That doesn’t matter at this point. I married her.”
“A fact which didn’t make Stewart happy at the time,” Christopher added.
“Only because I wasn’t sure she’d be provided for,” Stewart said. “I wanted to make sure that all of her needs were taken care of.”
“Somehow I don’t believe—”
“She married me and all of her needs are met,” Perry told Christopher. “End of discussion.”
Though Christopher gave a slight shake of his head, he remained silent, something Perry was thankful for. So Christopher could keep his mouth shut if he tried.
After an awkward silence, Perry asked his cousin, “How was your trip out here?”
“Horrible,” Christopher replied.
When he didn’t elaborate, he pressed, “Did your carriage get stuck?”
“No. That would have only been frustrating.”
“Is the carriage in poor condition? I don’t mind pitching in for a new one if Agatha had a rough ride.”
“No, it’s nothing like that. The carriage is fine. Actually, it’s not worth discussing. Can we talk about something else?”
“It’s nice to know that when I’m not around, you complain about me,” Agatha said from the doorway.
At once, Christopher jumped out of his chair and turned to her. “My dear Agatha, I didn’t hear you.”
“No, I ve
nture not since our ride together was such a horrible experience.”
He let out an uneasy laugh and glanced at Perry and Stewart. “I didn’t say horrible.”
“Really? I distinctly recall hearing the word ‘horrible’ as I was coming down the hall.”
With a groan, Christopher took her hand and pressed it to his heart. “I wasn’t talking about you. You are the shining star in my life, my very reason for waking up in the morning.”
“As poetic as that sounds, Christopher,” Perry interjected when it occurred to him that his cousin was only going to dig himself further into a hole if he continued, “may I suggest that after a long day of traveling, you should get a good night’s sleep? You can go to your old bedchamber. I believe you know the way.”
“Wonderful idea, Perry.”
As Christopher hauled an arguing Agatha down the hall, it suddenly dawned on him why Christopher had claimed the carriage ride was horrible. He grimaced. Had he known it had to do with his cousin’s primal urges, he would never have asked the question.
“I suppose it’s just you and me again,” Stewart said. “I feel lucky tonight. I might be an actual challenge to you if we play chess.”
With another glance at the doorway, Perry realized Paula wasn’t going to come down. He had hoped with Christopher and Agatha here, she would feel comfortable enough to join them. But that was moot since he made the stupid suggestion they go to bed early. Had Christopher not been confronting Stewart so aggressively, he wouldn’t have thought of it.
Forcing a polite smile, Perry rose to his feet. “Are you sure you aren’t bored of the game yet?”
Shaking his head, he stood up and sipped some brandy. “No. I could play the game all day and never get bored.”
Perry doubted that. And though he never thought it possible, he was beginning to tire of the game himself. But since he suspected this was the evening Stewart would be asking him for money after hinting at it for a week, he figured a relaxing game of chess was in order. “Follow me and we’ll see if you get closer to winning tonight.”