The Freefall Trilogy (Complete Collection)

by Sadie Mills

  'Is it really that bad? Do you want me to get you a doctor?'

  Lucy sighed, staring down at the formica table.

  'I don't think there's much a doctor can do for me now,' she muttered.

  'What do you mean? Is it serious? ...Lucy! What aren't you telling me?'

  His eyes flashed at her as he ran his hand through his hair. She flinched as his hand slammed down on the table.

  'For God's sake, talk to me!'

  She stared back at him, cheeks reddening, blue eyes flooding with tears.

  'I'm pregnant,' Lucy croaked.

  He gaped at her for what seemed like forever.

  'Say again,' he breathed, shaking his head quickly, as if to snap himself from a daze.

  'I'd rather not,' she said in barely a whisper.

  He sat breathless, just staring at her.

  Lucy watched his wide eyes darting all over the place.

  'I don't understand, how did it happen?'

  'How do you think?' Lucy snapped.

  'Yes but... we've always been careful—'

  She pinned him to the spot in an angry blue blaze.

  'Don't you dare ask me whether it's yours.'

  'I wasn't! I didn't!' he blustered, voice unnaturally high.

  She watched his Adam's apple quickly rise and dip.

  'Anyway, we haven't always been careful,' she said quietly, peering down at the skin forming across her tea.

  She looked up in time to catch Joshua's eyes flare.

  '...The cornfield?' he breathed.

  They stared across the table at one another. The day of the cutaway. Josh reached out, squeezing her fingers. Lucy looked down at his hand, it was shaking too.

  'I thought I'd lost you,' he told her, voice cracking.

  She gaped at his glistening green eyes.

  'Now because of that, we're having a baby?'

  She watched in disbelief as the shaky smile spreading across his lips.

  Lucy closed her eyes.

  'Josh... It isn't that simple.'

  'What do you mean?' he said, face falling. She felt his fingers go limp. His brow knitted deeply. 'What... You want to get rid of it?'

  A look of love turned to anger in a blink. Lucy looked around the café, thanking God it was empty.

  'No!' Lucy squeaked.

  She hadn't even thought about that.

  'How long have you known?' Joshua demanded.

  She pulled back the sleeve of the jump suit, peering down at her watch.

  'About fourteen and a half minutes.'

  'Oh,' he murmured.

  'Yes, oh,' she said, the volume rising. ‘But it's OK for you to keep secrets from me.'

  'Not this kind of secret, no,' Joshua told her. 'It's my business too. Wouldn't you say?'

  'Doesn't have to be,' she muttered.

  'What do you mean by that?'

  She shrugged.

  'I mean, it isn't your problem.'

  'Problem?' said Josh.

  She peered up at him, knowing by the tone he was on the last wrung of his patience.

  'Lucy, that problem, is our baby.'

  He stared back at her.

  Oh shit...

  His heart lurching as he saw her fold.

  'I'm sorry,' she blurted, voice choked; tears spilling over. 'I have only had quarter of an hour to get used to the idea myself.'

  Joshua reached out.

  Fucking table!

  He hopped up, sliding into the seat next to her.

  'Don't cry,' he said, pulling her into his arms. 'Please. It'll be alright.'

  That explained quite a bit; the tears at the drop of a hat, the rampant mood swings.

  'It won't!' she sobbed. 'It's all such a mess!'

  'Lucy, I love you,' he said, pressing a kiss in her hair. 'Don't you love me?'

  She peered up at him through her tears.

  'Of course I do!' she breathed.

  ‘So,' he shrugged. ‘What's the problem?'

  ‘It… It isn't enough...'

  Joshua's eyes flared, his arms slackening.

  'What do you mean? Don't you think I'll make a good dad?

  She blinked up at him.

  'I think you'd make a great dad,' she told him, dashing the tears from her cheeks. 'Provided you were around long enough.'

  She sniffed deeply, trying to get it together. Her fingers wrapped around his; she looked up at him.

  'I never knew mine,' she whispered. ‘He died, when I was three.'

  Joshua blinked back at her in horror. How could he not know that?

  'He went out on a trawler one day and never came back,' she murmured. Josh stared at her, not quite believing his ears.

  She never talked about him. He hadn't liked to ask; he'd just presumed... Had he really even thought about it? God, she was good at changing the subject. He suddenly flashed back to snippets of unfinished conversation. 'I've just got to pop to the loo' or a joke: anything to get away from the topic. Somewhere in the back of his head Josh thought he'd walked out.

  'I don't remember much about him,' she said, shaking her head.

  He wasn't sure from her voice whether that was good or bad. He had a feeling she wasn't either. She smiled bitterly.

  'But mum says he was the best.'

  She peered up at Joshua guiltily.

  'I used to be so jealous of the kids at school. They had their dads… brothers and sisters, big happy families. All I had was my mum. I know this sounds awful, so ungrateful but...

  'I don't want my kid to grow up like that.'

  'It's the job?' he breathed, blinking back at her. 'What do you want me to do? Go and stack shelves at Tescos?'

  Joshua's panic was palpable.

  'Because I will,' he told her obstinately. 'I'll do it, if that's what it takes.'

  Lucy smiled at him sadly.

  'You'd be miserable inside of a day.'

  'I saw an interview with Jeb Corliss,' she said quietly. 'I think it was Jeb Corliss... I think it was after Dwain Weston was killed.'

  She bit her lip, frowning down at the table.

  'Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was somebody else...

  'He said you have two bags. A luck bag, and an experience bag. When you start out, your luck bag is full. Your experience bag is empty. And the trick is—'

  'To fill the experience bag before your luck runs out.' Joshua nodded. 'I know.'

  Her gaze flicked up to meet his stare.

  'It isn't the job,' she murmured. 'It's the extracurricular activities.'

  'What do you mean by that?'

  Lucy shrugged.

  'You know when I met you...' She sighed. 'Well you know how gung-ho I was then... Wingsuits, flying squirrels...'

  She laughed, shaking her head.

  'I thought I was invincible. And that's OK, because it was just me. And it might just have been OK if it were just me and you. Maybe. Just for a while... But the accident, it made me realise. It made me really think.'

  She peered up at him.

  'I know now how fragile life is.

  'It isn't fair that I lost my dad before I could get to know him. But it was an accident,' she shrugged. 'But to think I missed out on that opportunity because he intentionally put himself in a dangerous situations... not for work, but for fun? I'm not sure how I'd cope with that one.'

  She sighed, raking her hair from her face.

  'It isn't the job that bothers me,' she said pointedly. 'It's the BASE jumping.'

  Joshua stared down at the table. She watched him swallow; reach out for his coffee.

  'Drink your tea,' he said. 'It's getting cold.'

  Lucy stared down at it, reluctantly curling her fingers through the handle of the white porcelain cup.

  'Don't worry. I'm through with BASE jumping,' he said quietly.

  'Don't do that,' she murmured, clattering the cup back down in the saucer; wiping the corners of her mouth with her fingertips. 'I don't want you to do that. I can't ask you to give up your dreams for me.'

&
nbsp; 'Oh, believe me. I'm not,' Joshua said.

  'Come off it,' she snorted. 'When you saw Froggy today, you can't tell me you weren't a tiny bit jealous.'

  He frowned, staring into his cup for a moment. She watched him take a sip, pulling a face.

  'Not jealous,' he said. 'Not exactly, not like that. But yeah,' he shrugged. 'I would have liked that to be me.'

  'So,' Lucy shrugged, raising her eyebrows.

  'In the same way I'd like to have ridden the winning horse in the Grand National,' Josh said dryly, 'or won the Grand Prix. Or been the first man on the moon.

  'Fucking hell!' he gasped, the faint smirk sliding as the realisation hit home, his eyes darting to hers.

  'You seriously thought I was going to BASE jump from the Eiffel Tower, and you didn't even try to stop me!'

  'How could I?' she whispered. 'What was I meant to say? ...You were a jumper when I met you, what right do I have to ask you to stop?'

  He gaped at her.

  'Every right!'

  'Would you have tried to stop me?' she tried to argue.

  'What, after twelve rookie jumps?' he snorted. 'No, not tried. Succeeded! I'd have locked you in the fucking boot if I had to.'

  Lucy finally smiled.

  'Jesus...' he murmured. ‘No wonder you threw those plates at me.'

  She watched him draining his coffee, his face unreadable. He stared across the cafe, over the red faux leather seats and grey marl formica tables; through the window, watching the little white Cessna take off.

  'Have you ever seen an open fracture?' he asked her quietly.

  Lucy fixed the grim line of his lips; slowly shaking her head. She knew what he was talking about. The two inch memento on his wrist where he "broke it". He always glossed over it.

  'They're not very nice,' she heard him say darkly as she sipped her cold, milky tea. 'That was BASE jump number twelve. Trust me, there isn't going to be a thirteen.'

  They stared at one another. Joshua squeezed her hand.

  'Give me a minute,' he said. 'I just need to pop to the gents.'

  Lucy sat there, staring out of the window, sipping her cold tea in a daze. She watched the Cessna touch down; it had to be the last lift. The sun was melting into the horizon behind them.

  She carefully placed her cup back down in the saucer with a gentle clink; running her hands down her face.

  That must be why I feel tired all the time…

  She felt like she'd been hit by a freight train now. She sank back into the red faux leather seat.

  'Thank you,' she said glancing up at the waiter as he presented their bill.

  Only in France... At the dropzone in Dumbleton you just paid at the counter.

  He hovered over her. Lucy looked up; caught the smile.

  Oh here we go...

  He was obviously hankering for a tip.

  Lucy flipped open the white slip of paper with her glossy red fingernail. She breathed in sharply, her blue eyes flaring. She peered up at the waiter, then back to plate. The diamond ring. The words Marry Me scrawled in black ink.

  She raked her hair back, holding it in her fist, gaping up at the grin; the podgy red face.

  'Ahem...'

  The waiter's head span around.

  'Excusez moi s'il vous plait,' came a familiar voice.

  The waiter scuttled away.

  'Merci beaucoup,' Josh called after him with a grin. Lucy's heart stopped as he went down on one knee.

  Her gaze flicked up as she heard a faint, familiar beat. She squinted at the stereo speakers.

  He smirked up at her.

  'I think they're playing our song.'

  Sail by Awolnation.

  Lucy laughed nervously.

  'I'm not doing this because you're pregnant,' he said quietly, eyes wide and wary.

  She glanced down at the ring.

  Wow...

  'Pretty impressive if you were,' she said in barely a whisper. ‘It's some trick coming up with that in five minutes.'

  Joshua laughed, reaching out and taking her hand. His fingers felt hot and clammy. He was shaking.

  'I had planned to ask you at the Eiffel Tower,' he said, peering up anxiously, 'but it didn't really feel like the right moment. Then I was going to do it after the tandem jump but...'

  He smirked, cocking an eyebrow, gaze wandering to her belly.

  'Apparently somebody had other ideas.'

  Lucy gaped, the fingers of her free hand spreading across the black canvass, peering down at her stomach. She still hadn't quite wrapped her head around the fact there was a real live person in there.

  'I thought about asking you on the ferry,' smirked Josh.

  Lucy remembered honking her guts up over the side and cringed.

  'I was going to do it on the bridge,' he said quietly.

  Lucy's head slowly rose.

  'I did wonder,' she murmured. 'For about half a second.'

  'So here we are,' he sighed, 'In a crappy dropzone cafe...'

  Lucy smiled at him, cocking her head.

  ‘Right where it all started,' she said, raising an eyebrow.

  'Maybe for you,' he grumbled. 'It was the picnic bench for me, but let's not start splitting hairs.'

  He stared up at her unblinkingly, thumb nervously grazing the back of her knuckles.

  '...Well?' he murmured.

  'Well what?'

  He snorted, shaking his head.

  ‘I'm not very good at this, am I?' he said, shaking himself, plucking the ring from the plate, smiling embarrassedly.

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

  'Will you marry me?'

  He stared up at her, green eyes wide with hope and fear. She could see he was holding his breath.

  She squeezed his hand, her bottom lip trembling. She smiled, nodding quickly.

  'Yes.'

  'I'm sorry about the jumpsuit,' she said as they started out on the long journey back to the city.

  He glanced at her briefly, flicking the indicator stick.

  'I thought you said it fit?'

  Lucy snorted, raising her eyebrows.

  'Not for very much longer.'

  ‘Oh.' Joshua said with a smirk. ‘I suppose not.'

  It was getting cold. He fiddled with the blowers, glancing at her.

  ‘You really wanted to jump today, didn't you?'

  ‘I think it was seeing Froggy,' Lucy admitted. ‘What he did… I think it brought it all back. I remembered the buzz... I really think I would have done it.'

  She smiled at him sadly.

  'And now I won't be able to. Isn't that typical?'

  'It's only nine months,' Joshua told her.

  He caught the stare through the twilight and frowned.

  'What?' he said. ‘Lots of mums jump.'

  'You'd still let me?' she squeaked.

  'Let you?' Joshua sniggered. 'Have we entered a time warp since I put that ring on your finger? Are we back in the 1950s? I'll let you do whatever you like!'

  Lucy's eyes glittered mischievously.

  'What about BASE jumping?' she said.

  She caught the sideways glance.

  'Actually, I think there's a lot to be said for the Victorians,' he said, voice deepening. 'Ask me that again and I'll put you over my knee.'

  He caught her peering up through her eyelashes at him. Josh burst into a grin.

  'Oh it's like that then, is it?' he sighed, shaking his head.

  ‘What's your take on wingsuits?' she asked, fighting a smirk.

  ‘I can always take that ring back to the shop,' he warned her.

  'You wouldn't dare!' she giggled, playfully slapping his leg. He saw her grinning down at the twinkle on her finger for the hundredth time. Joshua smiled to himself.

  'I tell you what,' he said, flicking the lights to full beam as they drove through the dark tunnel of trees. 'You can have one. I will buy you a wingsuit.'

  Lucy's head slowly rose.

  'Once you've given me those nine kids and thirty fi
ve grandchildren,' he told her, 'I'll buy you whatever you like.'

  Lucy looked down at her stomach, splaying her fingers across it, Joshua's diamond twinkling up. Maybe she was imagining it, but it did feel different - a tiny little bump.

  She glanced across at him. His smile flashed back through the darkness.

  'Let's take it one step at a time, shall we?' she said quietly, squeezing his thigh. ‘But I'm not ruling anything out.'

  Other titles by Sadie Mills

  VIRTUALLY

  PERFECT

  'I'll show you my darkroom...' It's all the way up there with "Come up and see my etchings" and Eve knew it.

  Virtually Perfect is a dark romantic comedy novel set in Brighton, England, exploring the world of internet dating.

  Auctioneer, Evelyn Blake, needs a plus one for her colleagues' wedding. No one likes rocking up to those things alone. Far from a bar bunny, she lands on an internet dating website. Amongst all the bare-chested mirror shots and men-with-no-neck, one dating profile stands out.

  Shutterman has been single for a while (since walking in on his fiancée and best friend in the throes in his own bed). Years of hard work, one fluke Mont Blanc shot, and photographer Benjamin Macy finds himself catapulted to fame and fortune. Handsome, young, rich and accomplished, he's the ultimate bachelor. Far from the smackheads and shootings of the Deptford tower block where he grew up, the past he tries so hard to hide.

  Bubbling with humour, crackling with tension, sizzling with sex, from Brighton Pier to Iceland to the deserts of Saudi Arabia, Sadie Mills coaxes the reader into a web of intrigue, twisting and turning in a labyrinth of deceit. Sometimes sad, sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, by the time the fateful wedding day rolls around, she'll have you on the edge of your seat.

  Click here to download Virtually Perfect or buy the paperback on Amazon.

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  I would like to say a special thank you to Skydive UK Dunkeswell for such an awesome introduction to the sport, as well as Airkix Milton Keynes. I'd also like to thank Gary Connery, Jeb Corliss, Felix Baumgartner, Karina Hollekim, Dan Brodsky-Chenfeld, Jokke Sommer, Roberta Mancino, Alexander Polli, Michael Swanson, Lèo Fardim, not to mention the irreplaceable Dwain Weston and Shane McConkey (to name but a few), for inspiring me.