Shattered: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance (The Blackthorn Brothers Book 2)

by Cali MacKay

  “That’s not fucking happening, and you damn well know it. I love you, Sky…and you can’t tell me that you don’t feel the same way about me.” I refused to believe she didn’t care—even if she’d once walked away from me.

  “You know I never stopped loving you.” When her eyes shimmered with tears, I cupped her face in my hands, my head bent to hers as she continued, her voice thick with emotion. “But it’s why I had to walk away. I loved you too much to let you get dragged into my mess. Things just snowballed while you were in Ireland…and maybe I was just too overwhelmed and stupid to see that I may have had other options. But at the time, I just needed to keep you away from my life as it imploded.”

  That was the most frustrating part…she’d never told me the whole story. I came back from a family trip to Ireland, and after one last night together, she simply refused to see me again. Something had changed in the month that I was away, and by the time I had gotten back, it was over between us.

  I just didn’t understand it, and though I’d tried my best to get her back, she just continued to push me away, until I was left trying to find other distractions to mend my broken heart. Except that it never did mend and I never did get over her. Things only got worse. And that may have been just a year ago, but it felt like a miserable fucking eternity when I didn’t have her in my life.

  It was my biggest regret. “I never should have let you walk away from me. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

  “It wasn’t your fault… Everything just went to hell while you were gone, and by the time you got back, my entire world had changed.” She let out a weary sigh and put a hand on my knee, though her eyes didn’t quite meet mine. “I didn’t want to drag you into the shit that was going down, especially since the cops had gotten involved. Your family’s always needed to stay under the radar, and the last thing I wanted was to have the cops shift their attention in your direction, hoping to catch a bigger fish. And now’s no different, though you refuse to see it.”

  “That’s because you’re asking me to walk away from you—and that’s not fucking happening.” Not in a million lifetimes. “And though I get that your brother is the only family you have left, there’s got to be another way around this mess. You can’t sacrifice yourself just to save your brother.”

  “Maybe this goes beyond my brother’s mess and troubles. Ever think of that?”

  I knew there’d be one way to get him to turn his back on me. And yet…I couldn’t speak the words. Not in a million lifetimes would I tell him my deepest, darkest secret. Because one thing was certain: if I told him, he’d walk away and never look back, not ever again—or he’d murder me. One or the other.

  But living with me? Loving me? He’d never manage it. Because I knew… He’d never be able to look at me again and not see what I’d done.

  There were just some things that couldn’t be forgiven.

  I got to my feet, suddenly needing to put some distance between us before Finn noticed that my emotions were getting the better of me and it went far beyond my mess of a life with Ray. Because Finn knew some of the things Ray had put me through, but he didn’t know the worst of it—and it wasn’t something he could ever find out. “We should get going. Maybe head back.”

  Finn stood and pulled me into his arms, tilting my chin up toward him, so I’d be forced to look at him. Except that I couldn’t. Not without him seeing my threatening tears. I shrugged free of his touch and headed for the trail, my wounds still far too raw, though I didn’t think they’d ever heal.

  “Sky…” He jogged to my side, grabbing my hand and pulling me to a stop as I struggled to get free of him. “For fuck’s sake, talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

  “What the hell do you think? Ray’s probably losing it—and taking out his panic and anger on my brother and everyone around him.” It wasn’t the whole truth, but it’d do well enough as an excuse. “Yet you want to pretend that we can just walk away from our lives and live out here without there being any consequences. It’s delusional to think it’ll work out that way.”

  Wanting to scream, I shrugged out of his grasp and started walking, needing to get away from him. I was too vulnerable with everything that was going on, and I couldn’t let Finn get close. I was keeping too many secrets, and he couldn’t get thrust into the middle of them.

  “I’m not fucking delusional, Sky.” Finn didn’t bother to disguise the anger in his voice—or his frustration with me. “But I’m not going to let that asshole keep us from living our lives.”

  Except that if Ray ever found us, he wouldn’t think twice about murdering Finn—and if he couldn’t find us, then he’d take out his anger on our families, to draw us out. “He’ll do just that, because he’s dangerous and territorial, and he’s used to getting his way. Don’t you get it? Even if we manage to stay under his radar, he’ll just go after our families, since he’s going to know you were involved in my disappearance.”

  His brow furrowed, and he did not look happy. “I’ll call them again once we’re back—and we’ll also get a restraining order out against Ray, just to make sure that the cops are aware that he’s causing problems, in case we have to defend ourselves.”

  “As if the cops will be able to stop him.” Of all people, Finn should know it wouldn’t do a thing to stop Ray—who’d only be even more pissed off once he found out about the restraining order. Short of putting him in a grave, locking him up for a long time was the only other thing that might finally get him out of my life, and I was doing my best to make that happen by working with the FBI—though it’d all go to hell if I didn’t get back to Ray. “Just please…let me go back. And you have my word, I’ll find a way to put an end to this, once and for all.”

  “And he’s just going to let you go, huh?” He shook his head and gave me a sideways glare as we continued down the trail. “As if that’s going to happen.”

  “Well, guess what? This is my life, Finn. And you don’t get to tell me how to live it.” I’d never forgive myself if Ray hurt him—and if I didn’t get back there, that’s exactly what would happen.

  This time around, he was done arguing with me as we hiked back toward the house in silence, both of us clearly stewing and at an impasse. Yet before we could even get back to the house, Finn took my hand in his and simply held onto it. It was such a small gesture, and yet it meant the world to me. After dealing with Ray for so long, and his Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality, Finn’s love went a long way to soothing my tattered and broken soul.

  Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to make my problems go away.

  He brought my hand to his lips, the gesture so sweet, and speaking volumes as to just how much Finn loved me. “What if we bought your brother a ticket out of here? We could send him anywhere in the world…wherever he wanted to go. Make sure Ray would never find him. That would leave you free to go about your life, without Ray having anything to hold over your head and threaten you with.”

  I loved Finn for trying, and though it was a good idea, I didn’t know if my brother’s legal troubles would allow him to get out of the country, or if his passport had been flagged. “Matt’s out on bail for trafficking, even though it was Ray who set him up. And since they can’t nail Ray for the crime, they’re going after Matt. So I don’t know if leaving the country is even an option for him.”

  “It may or may not be, but if need be, I have connections who might be able to help with a different passport. That way, he can get away from Ray, and you’ll be free.” His pace slowed to a stop, turning to face me as he brushed his fingers against my cheek. “I love you, Sky. And like I said, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re safe and happy.”

  Hope sparked in my chest at the thought that I may be able to finally escape Ray and his threats. If I could get my brother away from him, then there’d only be one thing keeping me from being with Finn—the fact that I’d lost our baby.

  He’d never forgive me for it. Not that I’d had much say i
n what happened. I hadn’t even found out that I was pregnant until after we’d broken up and I was forced to live with Ray. But that one night Finn and I spent together after he got back from Ireland was all it took. I’d gotten pregnant, and when Ray found out, he fucking lost it, the thought of me carrying another man’s baby sending him off the edge. I miscarried as a result—not that Ray would take me to the hospital since he’d have to explain the bruises on my body.

  It was a fucking miracle that I hadn’t already murdered Ray myself—and it was why I hated myself for not finding a way to leave him. Because I knew I should have—and yet I couldn’t. Not without risking my brother’s life.

  But telling Finn about our baby? I don’t think he’d ever be able to forgive me—not only for walking away from him and all that was between us, but also for losing our child to a monster that I was still with.

  And if he hated me for it, I couldn’t blame him one bit.

  When Sky’s eyes slipped shut over her tears, I was once again left wondering what sort of demons she was fighting as I pulled her into my arms and held her close. “What’s going on, Sky? You can talk to me…”

  She pulled away just enough to look up at me, even as she forced a smile onto her lips. “It’s nothing. I just can’t believe that you’d help my brother get out of this mess. I swear, he hadn’t realized he was doing anything illegal—and the last thing he wanted was for me to get mixed up in it all. But Ray…he just didn’t give either of us a choice.”

  “I get it, love… He’s your only family. But I can’t have you putting your life on the line and sacrificing yourself.” No fucking way. Because I had a good enough idea as to the hell Skylar was forced to endure.

  Her gaze avoided mine, distracting herself by playing with my flannel shirt as it hung open over my t-shirt, the sense of despair palpable. “When I agreed to help him…I didn’t realize it would involve Ray. I swear…I never meant for any of this to happen, Finn… And by the time I did, it was too late.”

  Her voice cracked as she spoke her last words, and it tore at my soul. She was the only woman I’d ever loved, and I should have been able to protect her from this. And yet, I didn’t. “You should have come to me, Sky…should have told me what was happening so I could help you, instead of trying to deal with it on your own.”

  “You had your own problems to deal with—and the last thing I wanted was to drag you into my mess.” She pressed her forehead to my chest, as I leaned my cheek against her head. “The past year has been nothing but regrets, Finn… But I swear, I’m trying to fix things…”

  “I know you are, love—but you don’t have to do this alone. And no matter what problems I may have been dealing with, nothing will ever be more important than you.” I tilted her head back so she’d have to look at me. “I can’t even begin to imagine all you’ve been through.”

  The sob that escaped her throat tore my heart out, leaving me to hold her tightly to me. Skylar had always been one of the strongest women I’d ever met, and no matter what life threw her way, she’d somehow managed to deal with it. But I’d never seen her this broken. Though I didn’t know exactly what she’d been forced to endure this past year, I could probably guess, since I’d seen the bruises on her body and knew she’d been forced to sleep with Ray when she didn’t want to.

  Fuck…I couldn’t even imagine what that was like for her.

  With her tucked against my side, I led us back to the house, knowing she was upset and wouldn’t want me grilling her about what was bothering her. But I felt helpless. How the hell was I supposed to help her through all this if she wouldn’t open up to me?

  Yet, by the time we got back, she seemed to have gotten control of her emotions, even if we’d resolved nothing. I sat us down on the sofa, pulling her into my arms. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  She shook her head no. “There’s nothing to talk about, Finn.”

  “You can tell me that you don’t want to discuss the matter, but don’t lie to me, baby girl.” I tipped her chin up so she’d have to look at me, but when she bit her bottom lip, my cock ached to have her, despite the severity of our conversation. “If there are lies between us, then there can’t be trust. And that just won’t do. Am I making myself clear?”

  But instead of answering me, she kissed me, her tongue teasing mine before nipping at my lip, the tension between us sexually charged with the absence of a year and desperation of our situation. Raking her teeth down my neck, she slipped off the sofa and got to her knees before me.

  “Sky…what are you doing, love?”

  “You’re looking a little unsure there, Finn…like you’re not sure if you want me to blow you or not.” A sultry smile danced on her lips as she looked up at me, trying to act all innocent, as if this wasn’t just a ploy to avoid our discussion.

  “The only thing I’m unsure of is whether or not I should let you distract me. Though you know damn well I could never say no to you, baby girl.” It was nothing but the truth, my need for her insatiable. And though I may be happy to let her distract me for now, we’d eventually have to circle back to the problems at hand. Because something needed to be done about it, and ignoring her problems wasn’t going to work.

  Running her hands up my thighs, her nimble fingers made quick work of the button and zipper on my jeans, my cock happy to be freed and in her loving care. Her fingers drifted over my silky skin to tease my aching hardness, her pink tongue lazily licking at the pre-cum that glistened at the tip, all while looking up at me with her sultry gaze, her brown eyes locked on mine. And when she wrapped her lips around the swollen head of my shaft, red with need, I couldn’t help but lean back and groan. I was desperate for so much more, though I knew she’d do nothing but tease me until she had me so worked up, I’d finally take control, fisting her hair and forcing my cock down her throat.

  Swirling her tongue around the head of my cock with a savoring moan, she slowly took a little more of me with each pass, in no hurry since she was enjoying every minute of teasing me, her fingers stroking me with a feather touch that was doing my head in. “Fucking hell, Sky… That feels too fucking good.”

  Her pace picked up just a little, her fingers stroking me as she sucked and teased, her needy little whimpers vibrating against my shaft as I clenched my hands into fists in a desperate attempt to keep from burying my hands in her hair and forcing her to take more. I could feel my balls drawing up, tingling with my building orgasm, and though I wanted it to last, I didn’t know how long I’d be able to hold off for when I wanted her this badly.

  As if sensing my every need, her pace quickened, her cheeks hollowing as she sucked me, taking me deep so that the head of my cock hit the back of her throat, my fingers tangling in her hair as I watched her swallow me down. It was a sight I’d never tire of.

  But then she was pulling free of my cock and getting to her feet, stripping off the flannel and t-shirt she was wearing before shimmying out of her jeans, so that she now stood before me naked.

  Fucking hell…she was so beautiful.

  She climbed onto my lap, even as I shifted my jeans farther down my hips, though she wasn’t waiting, positioning my cock at her entrance and sinking down my entire length in one go with a satisfied sigh, her arms wrapping around my neck as I savored the feel of her tight body clenching around my cock, so wet and slick and warm that I nearly came.

  Feeling frantic, I cupped her face in both my hands, my fingers tangling in her hair as I kissed her with complete abandon, our tongues clashing in a heated dance. I thrust up into her as she rocked her hips along my length, our pace already frenzied, so each thrust had needy little cries escaping her lips and spurred me on.

  She held onto me as if she might shatter if she let go, leaving me to swallow her cries as she came, finally unleashing my own orgasm as my cock pumped its seed deep inside her as we rode out the waves of pleasure, our souls coming together as one. We stayed there, our bodies still linked as her kisses finally slowed though I refused to let her
go, needing her to know just how much she meant to me. “I fucking love you, Sky… Marry me.”

  She pulled back just enough to look at me, her brow furrowed. “You know I love you, but how can I say yes when my life is in shambles?”

  Fuck.

  I couldn’t say yes. Not when I couldn’t tell him my secrets.

  I loved him more than anything in the world, but marriage was something I took seriously and if I was going to go down the aisle to marry the only man I’d ever loved, then I couldn’t do so knowing that he didn’t have the full story. Because it would be one thing to marry him if he knew about our baby and he still wanted to be with me, but another thing entirely not to tell him and marry him anyway. Because once he found out the truth, I didn’t think he’d ever forgive me, and that meant it wouldn’t be fair to accept his proposal.

  “Do you love me, Sky?” He cupped my face in both his hands, his hazel eyes dark and serious, and his gaze intense.

  I couldn’t help but lean into his touch, my eyes slipping shut. “You know I do.”

  “Then marry me.” He brushed his thumb over my lips, and with his head bent to mine, he kissed me slow and tender, as if our problems had just slipped away and it was just the two of us.

  I wished that that could be the case… Wished that it could be just the two of us, so I wouldn’t have to worry about anything but being happy.

  But that wasn’t my reality.

  I somehow found the strength to pull away, though my heart was left with an aching devastation to have to turn him down. Because the truth was, if it weren’t for my brother’s problems, and Ray willing to murder to have me back or make a point—or the baby Finn didn’t know I had lost—then I would’ve happily have said yes. “Maybe once this is over… Maybe then you can ask me again.”

  He dug something out of the front pocket of his jeans, and before I could stop him, he was slipping the gorgeous ring onto my finger. “I know you can’t say yes at the moment because of your circumstances, but I want you to wear it anyway, since I know you’ll eventually say yes once our problems are dealt with. I was going to ask you to marry me when I first got back from Ireland, but…”