Almost Everything (Nickayla Quinn Trilogy Book 2)

by Jasmine Carolina

  As much as I want to object, I know that I can’t. There’s nothing that I can say or do to change his mind, and if today was any indication, I’m not ready. Maybe he’s right. Maybe for now, it’s best that we take that option off the table. It would give the both of us the peace of mind that we so desperately need.

  “Okay.”

  Colin’s a smart man. I know that better than anyone. And he’s been damaged just as much as I have.

  It’s easy to automatically be offended, to assume that he doesn’t want me because I’ve been damaged. To be honest, that’s exactly how I’ve felt since the last time that he told me no. But after hearing the guilt, fear, and desperation in his voice, it’s unmistakable how horrible he feels about what happened. And I don’t want to make either one of us feel any worse any time soon.

  “Do you wanna go to the room and take a nap?” I ask him, looking up.

  He shakes his head frantically. “No. I don’t want to be in that bed for a while. I’m fine just lying right here with you.”

  Thirteen.

  I slam the coffee pot down on the counter, surprised that it hasn’t broken from the force. This is the fifth morning in a row that Madilyn has gotten up before me and finished the coffee. What’s worse is that she doesn’t even bother to brew more. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  It’s been three weeks since my last episode in the bedroom, and Colin has pulled away from me both emotionally and physically. I can’t tell if he’s still scared to touch me, or if it has anything to do with her. Either way, shit’s rocky.

  I understand that the spoiled brat is apparently done with high school, so it doesn’t matter how long she stays out here. But she’s completely worn out her welcome. Well, at least with me.

  She’s currently in the shower, singing at the top of her longs incredibly off-key. I roll my eyes and storm into the bedroom. Colin’s standing in the middle of it, staring blankly at the ground. It’s like this almost every morning, and I honestly hate it. I never know what he’s thinking, or what kind of mood he’s going to be in. It’s like someone took my Bruce Banner version of Colin and replaced him with a The Incredibly Angry Hulk. He’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One day he’s so up that I feel happier than I’ve ever been, and the next day he’s so down I wonder what the Hell I’m still doing here.

  And then I figure out the answer.

  I love this beautifully broken boy.

  I clamber onto the bed and cross my legs in front of me. I try to remain as casual as possible, because I don’t want him to feel like I’m on the attack.

  “Morning, beautiful,” he says, walking toward the bed and leaning over to give me a kiss. “What’s up?”

  Sighing, I fold my hands in my lap.

  “Babe, we need to talk about Madilyn.”

  I watch as Colin raises an eyebrow at the same time that he stands up and walks to the bathroom to do his hair for school.

  “What did she do?” he calls.

  Well shit, what didn’t she do? Break us up? I’m sure that’s on her agenda somewhere.

  I decide to start with what she’s done today alone, because if I list all her faults, Colin will accuse me of trying to come between their friendship.

  “She finished the coffee and didn’t put more to brew. You know I can’t function without coffee. And when I walked past the hallway bathroom, I smelled my—my—body wash! From Bath and Body Works!”

  I know I sound completely exasperated, and I am, because I’m tired. I’m tired of her.

  I meet Colin’s gaze through the reflection of the mirror as he gives me a small smile.

  “Nickayla, I’ll buy you more body wash. And if you want or need coffee that badly, why don’t you put more to brew yourself?”

  I shoot him a death glare and he presses his lips into a thin line.

  “Colin, the body wash is Sweet on Paris. Do you know what that means? It was limited edition. So when it all finishes because Miss Priss can’t use her own shit, I can’t replace it!” I exclaim, suddenly irritated with him as well as Madilyn. “And the coffee is not the point. The point is that she’s overstayed her welcome! She’s constantly doing shit to piss me off, and you won’t do anything about it. You both make me feel like a stranger here—like an interloper. Yes, it’s your brother who pays the rent here. But it’s you and I who live here. I buy food here, not her. I pay half the bills here, not her. I work my ass off every day after school, not her. I put gas in both cars, not her. And yet she gets to do whatever the Hell she wants. So the coffee is not the point, Colin, nor is the limited edition body wash. Yeah, I could make more coffee if I wanted to, and I’m sure I could easily find Sweet on Paris on Amazon if her inconsiderate ass finishes it, but the point is, I shouldn’t have to. I live here and she doesn’t. And I’ve had enough. And I want her to leave.” I pause, watching all of his facial expressions as they change in the mirror. “You can either agree with me and ask her to leave, or you can stand by while I pack my shit, because I can’t do this anymore. Not with her, and not with you.”

  His eyes widen as he suddenly advances on me and sits on the bed.

  “Are you breaking up with me?” he asks.

  Not saying yes or no, I sigh. “I’m telling you to make a choice. And if you don’t, I’ve made mine.”

  I don’t know when I got so angry, or when I became one of those girlfriends who gives her boyfriend an ultimatum, but here I am.

  Somewhere between telling my loved ones about the rape and right now, I turned int the person I wish I was strong enough to be before the rape. I became someone who demands what she wants instead of timidly asking for it. I became someone who stands up and puts her foot down rather than lying down and being someone’s doormat. I became someone confident who proudly flaunts her flaws and scars rather than cowering and hiding them away.

  I have this lingering fear that I’m going to lose Colin in the midst of becoming this strong, fearless human being, but part of me is okay with that because I’ll do anything to keep from losing myself again.

  Colin breaks his silence, staring at me, eyes completely glazed over. “I need her here. I don’t know what I’ll do if she has to leave.”

  My insides clench and my heartbeat accelerates as I hear the words he hasn’t spoken.

  I don’t want her to leave, is what he really wants to say.

  Taking his hand, I squeeze it reassuringly. “Babe, you’ll have me.”

  I’m vaguely aware that it’s my insecurity seeping through when I make that statement, but I don’t care at this point.

  He blinks at me as his expression softens, but not by much. “I know.”

  But that’s not enough. You’re not enough.

  He pats my knee, then leans forward to kiss me again. “I understand what you’re saying, Nickayla. I’ll ask her to leave.

  I feel a bit conflicted after hearing his response. I’m relieved that he’s agreed to get rid of her, but I can’t let myself get happy just yet because I have a feeling that this is far from over.

  “Thank you,” I tell him, giving him a kiss.

  As I make to get off the bed, a knock sounds at the door to our bedroom.

  “Come in,” Colin urges.

  Our door swings open and Madilyn stands in the doorway, her now-orange hair draping over her shoulders.

  “Oh, Nickayla! I didn’t know you’d be here,” she says, a fake smile plastered on her face.

  Cocking an eyebrow, I laugh a bit. “Really? That’s strange, considering I do live here, and this is my and Colin’s room.”

  Colin looks at me like I’ve said something wrong. I shrug at him as I wait for Madilyn to say whatever it is she’s come in here to say. I stare at her expectantly, and she smiles again. God, I’m so tired of that fucking smile.

  “Well, seeing as you’re both here, I can kill two birds with one stone,” she says. “I’ve decided to officially move to Harlow!”

  Time stops as I gawk openly at her.

  What just happen
ed?

  “Oh? And live here?” My questions come out extremely sarcastic, and when I look up, I barely catch Madilyn rolling her eyes at me.

  “As tempting as that idea is, Nickayla, no,” she says, spewing venom at me with her words. I can tell immediately how much she dislikes that I’m here. “I actually found a room to rent, and I should be out of here within a couple hours.”

  She stops talking and gazes adoringly at Colin. Openly. This bitch.

  “So you’ll be gone before we return home from school then?” Colin asks. “That sucks, Mads. We’ll be sad to see you go. Won’t we, Nickayla?”

  I nod, but I don’t say anything as I watch Madilyn leave from our bedroom just as quickly as she came. She doesn’t even say goodbye, nor does she apologize for interrupting us. My gaze drifts to Colin who’s staring at the door with his mouth gaping open before he turns to face me and breathes a sigh of relief.

  He gives me a smile, but I shake my head, because I know exactly what he’s thinking, and I’m about to call him on it.

  “Colin, let me ask you a question.”

  He cocks an eyebrow. “Hmm?”

  “If your precious Madilyn hadn’t come in here and told us she was leaving today, would you actually have made her leave?”

  He sighs, leaning forward to wrap his arms around my torso. “Of course, pretty girl. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable in your own home. This is our home. And I want you to be happy in it.”

  I don’t know if I accept his answer completely, so I decide that I’m not going to push this issue any further. If I do, I might push him, and I don’t want us to start arguing like we used to when I first moved in here. Things haven’t been perfect, and they could always be better, but looking back at that time, I know that things could always be much worse. I kiss him quickly on the lips so that I can head out to the kitchen to brew some more Goddamn coffee.

  …

  I’m drinking my coffee at the kitchen table while Colin sits in the bedroom, calling in our lunch delivery from Little Sicily while we’re at school when I hear a small clatter. Immediately, I jump to my feet and prepare to run to one of the back rooms, when Madilyn appears, five bags in tow.

  When the Hell did she acquire so much shit?

  Nic, don’t forget to check your girl-cave after she leaves. Bitch can’t be trusted, I tell myself.

  “You need any help?” I ask, since I’m already up.

  Madilyn glares at me before setting her bags up against the wall. She places her hands on her hips and purses her lips at me. “I’ve got it. Thanks.”

  I nod, breathing a sigh of relief, because I didn’t really want to help her ungrateful ass in the first place. I grab my coffee cup and down the rest of my favorite drink before placing the mug in the sink. I lean against the counter and plaster a smile on my face.

  “You know, Madilyn, I’ll be really sad to see you go.”

  Folding her arms across her chest, she advances into the kitchen and shakes her head. “No you won’t. You’ll likely throw a party the minute I’m gone. So why don’t you cut the niceties and be a woman about how you really feel about me?”

  For a moment, I’m startled. I’m not sure how I want to react to what she’s just said, or how this is going to play out between the two of us. Shit has been brewing since the first time we ever spoke, and I have a feeling that it’s going to come to a breaking point. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and I can’t wait to be the last one standing. I’ve had enough of Madilyn Spencer.

  “Okay, I’ll play your game. Why are you here Madilyn? Colin isn’t yours anymore. You don’t have any hold over him. Why’d you come here after a fight with your boyfriend? If there was a fight with your boyfriend. If there was ever even a boyfriend.”

  I realize how bold I’m being, accusing her of fabricating a bruise to make Colin feel sorry for her, but I can’t help it. She wanted me to be honest, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.

  “There was a boyfriend. And things had been going downhill for a while. He started becoming abusive about six months into our relationship, and it was when he beat me and threatened to kill me that I decided to leave.” She pauses. “I graduated from school last year, due to being ahead in credits, and I’d moved in with him. When I left him, I could have gone to my mother. But what for? To have her say that she told me so? I could have gone to Melanie, but she’d have said the same thing. I had plenty of places I could have gone, but I decided to come here. I knew that Colin was the only person who could—and would—help me. You see, he’s got this…overwhelming need to help people. He always thinks he has to save everyone, fix the wings of the broken birds. So I came here and I knew that he wouldn’t be able to resist, because that’s just Colin.”

  I gulp, because what she’s saying is startlingly true. He came after me last year because he needed to save me. He stayed with me until I was healed. He brought Michele on our trip to Big Springs because she needed healing, too. He hasn’t had sex with me because he’s afraid of hurting me any more than I’ve already been hurt.

  And as terrible as it sounds, I can’t help but wonder if he’s stayed with me for so long because of his savior complex.

  “Oh, you know exactly what I’m talking about, don’t you? I can see it in your eyes. Think about it. I can’t see your scars from here, but I know they exist, Nickayla Quinn. And it’ll only be a matter of time before Colin’s healed them all, and he moves on to the next wounded bird. And you know who that’ll be? Me. I just can’t seem to stay out of trouble.”

  She gives a small giggle, and I push away from the counter, angry. Who the Hell does she think she is?

  “You can’t play with peoples’ hearts like this, Madilyn. And you damn sure can’t play with Colin’s. His heart belongs to me, whether you like it or not, and I’ll be damned if I let you manipulate him into ‘saving’ you. He’s been through enough. He deserves better that what you’re trying to pull on him, don’t you think?” I ask, my voice raising a bit as my heart starts to pound from anger.

  “He deserves to be with someone who’ll actually have sex with him, don’t you think?” she retorts.

  That stops me dead in my tracks and my heart drops to my feet.

  I can’t believe that she said that. I can’t believe that he told her…he wouldn’t, would he?

  I desperately want to cry right now, but that would be too easy, and that would show her that she’s won. And she hasn’t. And she won’t.

  “Get the Hell out of my apartment,” I tell her.

  Smiling, she takes a seat at the kitchen table and reaches for a piece of fruit. She brings it up to her lips and takes a bite as she continues to smirk at me. I watch, my anger progressing with every second that passes, as she props her legs up on the table and crosses them. “I don’t think I’m quite ready to go yet.”

  Shrugging, I walk over to where she’s placed her bags and grab two of them. I march toward the front door and wrench it open, placing them right in front of the steps. “Get out.”

  She remains where she’s seated, still grinning like a Goddamn idiot. So, I do what any sane person whose boyfriend’s ex is about to drive her insane would do. I kick her overpriced bags down the stairs, and race back into the apartment for the others. I’m headed out the door with the rest of her bags.

  “What the Hell are you doing?!” she screeches.

  Naturally, Colin comes running. Not really caring what he thinks, I continue on my way toward the door and I kick the rest of the bags down the stairs, then come into the apartment and close the door behind me. I fold my arms across my chest just in time to see Colin stop short in the middle of the kitchen as Madilyn starts talking in hysterics.

  “What’s going on here?” Colin asks, looking back and forth between the two of us.

  “Your girlfriend just threw my stuff out!” Madilyn yells.

  “Your ex-girlfriend is a fucking manipulative psycho!” I yell in return.

  Colin rakes his hand slowly
over his face as he groans. He takes a seat in one of the chairs at the table and leans back as he stares at the both of us.

  “Nickayla? What’s going on?”

  I shrug.

  I don’t have to explain my actions to her, but I do need to explain them to him. I’d just prefer to do it when she’s not around. She puts my emotions on high alert and makes everything a million times worse.

  “Just like she said. I threw her stuff out. She said some things to me that I didn’t appreciate, and like I told you earlier, she’s worn out her welcome. What she said crossed the line, again, and I don’t have to take her bullshit if I don’t want to. And since she’s leaving anyway, I figured why not expedite the process?”

  Colin’s expression morphs into something that’s a mixture of amusement and anger, though I can’t tell which one is more dominant right now. Finally, he bites his lower lip before he closes his eyes.

  “Nickayla, will you go get her things, please?”

  For a moment, it seems as though time has frozen. And it must have, because I know he didn’t just ask me to go and get her things. They’re outside, where they—and she—belong.

  “No. I’ll go get my things and get ready to leave for school. But maybe by her things being outside, she’ll follow suit,” I say.

  I walk into the bedroom to grab my backpack so that I can go wait for Colin in the car. I’m not going to continue to entertain all of this Madilyn drama when I’ve got a million and one things to worry about right now. When I come back into the kitchen, they’re both staring at me like I’ve grown a head or five.