His mouth drops open, and he gulps, taking another step.
“Don’t come any closer, Colin. I swear to God, don’t you take another fucking step.”
Madilyn has the nerve to move in front of Colin and she steps up to me so that we’re toe to toe. Her long ponytail swings behind her as she walks, and she puffs out her chest. “Don’t fucking talk to him like that!”
Fuck it.
I’ve had it up to my wit’s end with this bitch. She’s been antagonizing me and now for her to insert herself into my relationship and tell me how to talk to Colin is working my Goddamn nerves. Clearly my kicking her ass back in Big Springs didn’t help her attitude in the slightest. So I don’t think. The minute she takes another step, I let loose and use all the force I can muster to punch her across the face. She keels over and grabs her nose, and when she stands up to say something else, I grab her ponytail. Wrapping my fist around it, I push her head down and knee her in the face. I let her ponytail go and she falls to the floor, clutching at her face and screaming.
I’m almost tempted to kick her while she’s down. Almost. But I won’t let myself go that far.
“Get the fuck out of my apartment,” I spit at her.
She stumbles to her feet, and she glares at me, both her nose and her mouth dripping blood. Tears are streaming down her blood-streaked face. “You crazy bitch! I’ll leave when Colin makes me leave! I’ll have you arrested you psychotic piece of shit!”
Folding my arms across my chest, I shrug. “Go ahead. I don’t give a shit.”
Colin rushes over to the door, twisting the doorknob and holding it open. He stares at me like I’ve lost it a bit, and perhaps I have. I stand my ground and Colin looks from him to me in awe.
“Get the fuck out, Madilyn. And don’t come back,” Colin says quietly.
Her mouth drops open. “Are you serious? You’re taking her side?! She attacked me!”
“You provoked her. Get out.”
Madilyn stalks into the kitchen, and snatches up her purse off the table. She pulls her shirt up to staunch the bleeding. Walking out the door, she turns around and stares at me. “Fuck both of you. You deserve each other.”
Colin slams the door behind her, and he turns to look at me. His entire demeanor is completely apologetic, but I don’t want to hear anything he has to say. He raises his hands, a movement he does when he knows I’m either hurt or pissed, and he tries to walk toward me at the same moment that he says, “Nickayla—”
I turn on my heel and race to the bedroom.
“Nickayla, no!” he shouts.
I make it to the room before he does, and I slam the door, locking it behind me. Slowly, I slide down the length of the door at the same time that Colin starts pounding on it. I bring my knees up to my chest and, pressing my fingernails into my open palm, I will myself not to cry. I won’t shed a tear over this. Not here, at least.
I reach for my cell phone and realize that there’s no way I can stay in this apartment. I swipe my iPhone unlocked and type in my password before I pull up iMessage. I scroll through my contacts trying to figure out who I can possibly contact to come pick me up right now. I decide immediately that I don’t want to bring Dixon into this, because that’ll just stir up a shitstorm that I really don’t want to deal with right now. Michie’s on her way out of town to visit her dad again, Brody doesn’t have a car, Nathan lives too far, and Nikky is at work.
I scroll through the contacts again, and then decide on the perfect person.
Me:
Can you come get me? ASAP?
“Nickayla!” Colin pleads through the closed door as he continues to bang on it. “Nickayla, open the door! Please, baby! Let’s talk about this! Please!”
I stand up, looking around the room. I walk into the closet and grab a duffel bag, opening it and tossing it on the bed. I walk over to the dresser and start pulling my things out of the drawers. I’m almost like a robot, just going through the motions as I pack as much as I can and wait for the response I need. I make my way into the bathroom and start grabbing all of my toiletries. I toss them into the duffel bag and then grab my cell phone charger. Zipping the bag up, I look around the room to check if I’ve forgotten anything important. I don’t want to take any reminders of Colin with me, not after all of this.
I’ve been so completely blindsided, I don’t even know what to do with myself right now. I feel hurt and angry and betrayed and so many other things at once that I just want to collapse.
“Nickayla, please. Say something, baby,” Colin begs. “Please! Say something! Talk to me! Please!”
My cell phone dings with the sound of a new text message, and I race over to it.
Sabrina Matteo:
Sure. I’ll be there in five.
Perfect. Snatching my phone off the dresser and throwing the duffel bag over my shoulder, I unlock the door and shove past Colin.
He’s absolutely horrorstruck by the fact that I’ve even got a bag packed, I can see it in his face. He follows me into the living room, and he grabs my hand as it swings behind me.
“Why do you have a bag packed? Where are you going? Nickayla, talk to me, please!”
Stopping abruptly, I turn around and face him.
“You want me to say something, Colin? I’m absolutely gutted. Your precious Mads must be awfully pleased with herself,” I tell him. “I’m leaving. And don’t try to stop me. There’s nothing you can say and there’s nothing you can do that can fix this right now.” I jerk my hand out of his grasp. “Don’t fucking touch me.”
He’s completely silent as we stare at each other, and his entire face is red. I’ve no way of knowing what he’s thinking, and in a way, I’m glad about that. I don’t want to know what’s going through his head, because I’m sure that I’m not going to like it.
He drops to his knees and places his palms atop his thighs, long fingers spread out. He lowers his head, his hair falling into his forehead. He’s breathing hard, and his shoulders shake a little. “I love you, Nickayla.”
I nod, even though I’m aware of the fact that he’s not looking at me. “I love you, too.”
At those four words, his head snaps up, his eyes alight with tears begging to be shed. In all the time that we’ve been together, I’ve never said those four words to him. He winces outwardly, and his shoulders sag. I’m watching him completely fall apart before my eyes, and it’s completely killing me. I feel like my insides are on the outside and taking a brutal beating, just seeing him more upset than I’ve ever seen him.
“Nickayla,” he chokes out, his voice sounding weirdly strangled. “I’m so, so sorry.”
I nod, reaching for my cell phone the minute it vibrates in my back pocket.
“I wish that were enough, Colin. I do,” I tell him. “But it’s not.”
I read Sabrina’s text quickly.
Sabrina Matteo:
Outside.
I look at the boy I love and pull the key to the apartment off of my key ring as well as the Hers key chain and slam them both on the table right by the front door.
“We’re done.”
And then I walk out and slam the door behind me, not looking back for a single fucking second.
I run down the stairs, completely relieved to see Bree’s car waiting for me. I open the back door and toss my bag onto the seat. Closing it, I open the passenger door and climb in. As I close the door and reach for my seat belt, my hair falls in my face and a rogue tear escapes.
“Where to?” Bree asks.
I bring my index finger up to wipe the tear away, and I sniff.
“Anywhere but here,” I respond.
Then I completely break down.
Twenty Three.
“Is there anywhere specific you want to go? Or do you just wanna ride?” Sabrina asks, turning down the radio as I try to stifle my sobs.
Right now, I’m not even sure what I’m crying over. Am I crying because I’m hurt? Because I’m angry? Because I hurt him? Because walking away from
him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life? I can’t be sure. But the tears keep coming. And there’s nothing I can do to stop them.
I wipe my tears away only for fresh tears to spring to my eyes. I lean forward, burying my face in my hands. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, but I can’t. Sabrina hasn’t even been my friend for a hot second. I don’t want to scare her away even though I feel like I’m dying inside. “You can take me to my Nonna’s lake house. It’s just off of Lowe.”
My voice comes out small, and it breaks on the last word. I know it’s the first place Colin will look for me—if he comes looking for me. But it’s where I need to be. That place is the only place I can go when everything in the world is going wrong. I draw my knees up to my chest and curl up against the door. I rest my head on the window and stare out of it. The sun is shining, and I watch with nostalgia as we pass a group of children playing hopscotch. The world is going on about its business, and mine is completely falling apart. And there’s nothing I can do about it.
I sniffle, tears springing to my eyes once more as I recall the look on Colin’s face and the last words I spoke to him. He looked about as gutted as I feel right now, and although that would satisfy a normal girl, should satisfy me, it doesn’t. It only makes me feel a million times worse.
I wonder momentarily whether I reacted too rashly. But I don’t think so.
I’ve always been the kind of person who holds things inside. I held my secret about Kyle, about the pregnancy scare, about my suicide attempts for longer than any sane person would ever keep a secret. I hold everything in, and let each new thing build upon the others, and let the waves rise and crash against the levees until the pressure gets too much. And then levees break. And all Hell breaks loose.
This situation with Madilyn and Colin was no exception. I held myself together for as long as I possibly could. Now, everything that’s been hurting and bothering me is bubbling to the surface, and it’s all I can do to keep my emotions in check.
Sabrina doesn’t speak again, doesn’t try to make casual conversation. Without me even telling her, I’m sure she knows what’s happened.
We jump on the freeway and she turns the radio off completely, so all that’s before me is silence and open road. As depressing as it sounds, it’s exactly what I need right now. We ride in silence, and I let all my defenses crumble. I’m completely vulnerable, sobbing openly in front of a person I barely even know. I’m shaking and balling my hands into fists and trying as hard as possible not to punch anything. Every few seconds, Sabrina looks over at me, concern spreading over her expression, but she doesn’t voice any of it. She remains silent and lets me fall to pieces right in front of her.
I honestly can’t tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
Thirty minutes later, when we’re finally getting off of the freeway due to traffic, we stop at a red light, and Sabrina pulls out her cell phone. At first, I think perhaps Colin has called her. But we don’t know her well enough for everyone to have her number. And I know for a fact that he’d never suspect that she’s the one who picked me up. He’d think I either called one of my brothers or Michie. I’m completely safe from his search efforts. For now. So because of that, I rest my head against the window again, a headache forming from all the crying I’ve done since I left the apartment.
There are a million thoughts rushing through my head. What will happen when Colin comes looking for me? Do I want him to? Would it be easier if we stayed away from each other? Will it hurt to see him face to face? Are things really over between us?
I don’t know the answers to any of my questions. And I’m not even sure if I want to.
When the gravel road comes into view, something else does, too. There’s a tall male figure, hands in his pockets, with dark hair and pale skin standing directly in front of the door to the lake house. My heart skips a beat at the same time that my stomach drops to my feet. My immediate thought is that Colin’s waiting for me. And my heart and brain are warring against each other, because we’re not entirely sure whether to be happy or upset about that possibility.
As we pull into the driveway, the figure comes into view, and I realize that it’s not Colin at all. It’s Brody.
I turn to Sabrina, and she has a small smile on her face as she puts the car in park and climbs out. I take a deep breath and take off my seat belt before opening the door. I climb out, and Brody’s standing directly in front of me, his arms wide open.
I walk forward slowly, making my way over to him. I rest my head against his chest as his arms come to wrap around me. He rests his chin on top of my head as I cry into his shirt, not holding anything back. After a few moments, he pulls away from me, but he keeps his arm around my waist, like he’s trying to hold me up. When I turn around, Sabrina has my bag and my cell phone, and she’s already headed inside the house.
Brody starts walking, like he’s trying to lead me into the house, so I walk in sync with him, never letting my arm drop from around him. I’m afraid that if I let go, I’m going to completely collapse to the ground and really feel the weight of all that happened today. Bree holds the door open for us, and we get inside. Brody makes his way over to the couch, grabbing a pillow and setting it on his lap. He pulls me gently, guiding me to where I’m sitting directly beside him. When I’m sitting successfully, I exhale a ragged breath, then lie down so that my head is resting on Brody’s lap. It’s not long before the tears begin to fall again, and I attempt to curl myself into a ball.
His arm comes to rest on my waist, and I feel the other one move away from my head.
“Call me if you need anything,” Sabrina says.
Brody uses his spare arm to wrap an arm around her waist, and then I hear the sound of a kiss.
“I will,” he replies.
His arm falls to his lap, where he runs a finger through my hair. All of a sudden, I hear the TV click on, and I can see from my peripheral vision that Brody is working the remote. He puts it down after a few seconds, and the opening notes of Everybody Hurts by R.E.M. rings out of the speakers. The minute the words start playing, the tears begin to fall.
Brody lets out a sigh and leans back, like he’s relaxing because he knows there’s no way we’re doing anything but staying put on this couch and listening to the most depressing song in the history of music.
“Nice choice of music,” I say in a small voice.
“Well, I know you like sad music when you’re sad. But I don’t care how sad you are; you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to listen to Dashboard Confessional,” he counters.
I almost laugh, but the mere idea of doing anything happy just makes me even sadder. I turn my head so that my face is buried in the pillow, and I start to cry all over again. Brody grabs my shoulders and pushes me into a sitting position before he grabs the remote and turns the TV off. He stands up and grabs his cell phone off the table near the door, and I watch as he makes his way toward the bedroom.
“Come on,” he urges. “We’re going to order some pizza and fried ice cream. ‘Kay?”
I nod and force a smile, following him into the nearest bedroom. He lays down on the bed and gestures for me to join him. I climb on the bed and nestle myself in to his side. I lie my head on his chest, closing my eyes for a moment.
“Brody?”
“Mmm?”
I look up at him. “What are you doing here?”
I can feel him shrug, and then he looks down at me, giving me a small smile. “Sabrina text and said that you needed me. So I came. If my best friend needs me, there’s nowhere else I need to be.”
…
When I open my eyes the next day, I’m completely disoriented. There’s a body beside me, so naturally my arm comes to wrap around it. The man beside me groans before stretching. He wraps an arm around me, and I close my eyes, ready to go back to sleep so that I don’t have to leave this place yet.
“Morning, Dove,” the voice says, and I jerk upright into a sitting position.
; It’s not until I’m completely freaked out and jumping out of the bed that I realize it’s Brody who was just beside me. He sits up, squinting when the sun hits his face and bringing his hand up to smooth his unruly hair out.
“What’s going on, Nic?” he asks, his voice groggy from sleep.
I shake my head, staring at him for a second before I take in my surroundings. I’m not in the apartment. I’m at Nonna’s lake house. I wasn’t in bed with Colin. I was in bed with Brody. After the final observation sets in, my heart goes numb and I recall the previous day’s events. The devastation I’m feeling hits me like a ton of bricks.
My talk with Michie, coming home, the kiss, punching Madilyn, Colin banging on the door, me packing. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I walked out on him. I told him “I love you, too.” I said “too”! I walked out on him. Shit, shit, shit.
I groan, burying my face in my hands. It takes all the strength I have left in my body—which isn’t much—to keep from crying. Brody mutters a quiet, “Shit” from behind me, leaping off the bed and rushing over to me.
“Nic. Hey. It’s okay. I’m sorry if I scared you.” He sounds sincerely apologetic, but if only he knew that it’s not him that’s making me upset right now.
I turn to look at him. “Who’s ‘Dove’?”
He flushes red, ducking his head and running a hand across the back of his neck. “Sabrina. That’s—uh.” He coughs. “That’s what I call her.”
For some reason, this amuses me, because I bent double immediately, laughing so hard that my cheeks begin to hurt from so much smiling. Tears begin streaming down my eyes, and I don’t know whether they’re coming from how upset I am, or if I’m going fucking crazy. Either way, I can’t stop laughing. I let myself collapse on the bed and clutch at my sides, laughing hysterically. When I can finally catch my breath, I can see that Brody’s just staring at me with an impassive gaze. Clearly, he’s not as amused as I am.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, when I can gather enough breath and strength in between giggles to speak. “I’m sorry. It’s not…I’m not okay. I’m sorry.” He looks a little irritated, but he doesn’t say so, so that makes the giggles stop completely. The last thing I want to do is upset him. “I’m just. Yeah. Sorry.”
Almost Everything (Nickayla Quinn Trilogy Book 2) Page 20