Vanity Fair (Barnes & Noble Classics Series)

by William Makepeace Thackeray

  ‘Can I ever forget her who so befriended the friendless orphan? No, though she has cast me off,‘ the latter said, ‘I shall never cease to love her, and I would devote my life to her service. As my own benefactress, as my beloved Rawdon‘s adored relative, I love and admire Miss Crawley, dear Miss Briggs, beyond any woman in the world, and next to her I love all those who are faithful to her. I would never have treated Miss Crawley‘s faithful friends as that odious designing Mrs. Bute had done. Rawdon, who was all heart,‘ Rebecca continued, ‘although his outward manners might seem rough and careless, had said a hundred times, with tears in his eyes, that he blessed Heaven for sending his dearest aunty two such admirable nurses as her attached Firkin and her admirable Miss Briggs. Should the machinations of the horrible Mrs. Bute end, as she too much feared they would, in banishing everybody that Miss Crawley loved from her side, and leaving that poor lady a victim to those harpies at the Rectory, Rebecca besought her (Miss Briggs) to remember that her own home, humble as it was, was always open to receive Briggs. ‘Dear friend,‘ she exclaimed, in a transport of enthusiasm, ‘some hearts can never forget benefits; all women are not Bute Crawleys! Though why should I complain of her,‘ Rebecca added; ‘though I have been her tool and the victim to her arts, do I not owe my dearest Rawdon to her?‘ And Rebecca unfolded to Briggs all Mrs. Bute‘s conduct at Queen‘s Crawley, which, though unintelligible to her then, was clearly enough explained by the events now,—now that the attachment had sprung up which Mrs. Bute had encouraged by a thousand artifices,—now that two innocent people had fallen into the snares which she had laid for them, and loved and married and been ruined through her schemes.

  It was all very true. Briggs saw the stratagems as clearly as possible. Mrs. Bute had made the match between Rawdon and Rebecca. Yet, though the latter was a perfectly innocent victim, Miss Briggs could not disguise from her friend her fear that Miss Crawley‘s affections were hopelessly estranged from Rebecca, and that the old lady would never forgive her nephew for making so imprudent a marriage.

  On this point Rebecca had her own opinion, and still kept up a good heart. If Miss Crawley did not forgive them at present, she might at least relent on a future day. Even now, there was only that puling, sickly Pitt Crawley between Rawdon and a baronetcy; and should anything happen to the former, all would be well. At all events, to have Mrs. Bute‘s designs exposed, and herself well abused, was a satisfaction, and might be advantageous to Rawdon‘s interest; and Rebecca, after an hour‘s chat with her recovered friend, left her with the most tender demonstrations of regard, and quite assured that the conversation they had had together would be reported to Miss Crawley before many hours were over.

  This interview ended, it became full time for Rebecca to return to her inn, where all the party of the previous day were assembled at a farewell breakfast. Rebecca took such a tender leave of Amelia as became two women who loved each other as sisters; and having used her handkerchief plentifully, and hung on her friend‘s neck as if they were parting for ever, and waved the handkerchief (which was quite dry, by the way) out of the window, as the carriage drove off; she came back to the breakfast-table, and ate some prawns with a good deal of appetite, considering her emotion; and while she was munching these delicacies, explained to Rawdon what had occurred in her morning walk between herself and Briggs. Her hopes were very high: she made her husband share them. She generally succeeded in making her husband share all her opinions, whether melancholy or cheerful.

  ‘You will now, if you please, my dear, sit down at the writing-table and pen me a pretty little letter to Miss Crawley, in which you‘ll say that you are a good boy, and that sort of thing.‘ So Rawdon sat down, and wrote off, ‘Brighton, Thursday,‘ and ‘My dear Aunt,‘ with great rapidity: but there the gallant officer‘s imagination failed him. He mumbled the end of his pen, and looked up in his wife‘s face. She could not help laughing at his rueful countenance, and, marching up and down the room with her hands behind her, the little woman began to dictate a letter, which he took down.

  ‘Before quitting the country and commencing a campaign, which very possibly may be fatal—‘

  ‘What?‘ said Rawdon, rather surprised, but took the humour of the phrase, and presently wrote it down with a grin.

  ‘Which very possibly may be fatal, I have come hither—‘

  ‘Why not say come here, Becky; come here‘s grammar,‘ the dragoon interposed.

  ‘I have come hither,‘ Rebecca insisted, with a stamp of her foot, ‘to say farewell to my dearest and earliest friend. I beseech you before I go, not perhaps to return, once more to let me press the hand from which I have received nothing but kindnesses all my life.‘

  ‘Kindnesses all my life,‘ echoed Rawdon, scratching down the words, and quite amazed at his own facility of composition.

  ‘I ask nothing from you but that we should part not in anger. I have the pride of my family on some points, though not on all. I married a painter‘s daughter, and am not ashamed of the union.‘

  ‘No, run me through the body if I am!‘ Rawdon ejaculated.

  ‘You old booby,‘ Rebecca said, pinching his ear, and looking over to see that he made no mistakes in spelling—‘beseech is not spelt with an a, and earliest is.‘ So he altered these words, bowing to the superior knowledge of his little missis.

  ‘I thought that you were aware of the progress of my attachment,‘ Rebecca continued: ‘I knew that Mrs. Bute Crawley confirmed and encouraged it. But I make no reproaches. I married a poor woman, and am content to abide by what I have done. Leave your property, dear aunt, as you will. I shall never complain of the way in which you dispose of it. I would have you believe that I love you for yourself, and not for money‘s sake. I want to be reconciled to you ere I leave England. Let me, let me see you before I go. A few weeks or months hence it may be too late, and I cannot bear the notion of quitting the country without a kind word of farewell from you.‘

  ‘She won‘t recognize my style in that,‘ said Becky. ‘I made the sentences short and brisk on purpose.‘ And this authentic missive was dispatched under cover to Miss Briggs.

  Old Miss Crawley laughed when Briggs, with great mystery, handed her over this candid and simple statement. ‘We may read it now Mrs. Bute is away,‘ she said. ‘Read it to me, Briggs.‘

  When Briggs had read the epistle out, her patroness laughed more. ‘Don‘t you see, you goose,‘ she said to Briggs, who professed to be much touched by the honest affection which pervaded the composition—‘don‘t you see that Rawdon never wrote a word of it. He never wrote to me without asking for money in his life, and all his letters are full of bad spelling, and dashes, and bad grammar. It is that little serpent of a governess who rules him.‘ They are all alike, Miss Crawley thought in her heart. They all want me dead, and are hankering for my money.

  ‘I don‘t mind seeing Rawdon,‘ she added, after a pause, and in a tone of perfect indifference. ‘I had just as soon shake hands with him as not. Provided there is no scene, why shouldn‘t we meet? I don‘t mind. But human patience has its limits; and mind, my dear, I respectfully decline to receive Mrs. Rawdon—I can‘t support that quite‘—and Miss Briggs was fain to be content with this half-message of conciliation; and thought that the best method of bringing the old lady and her nephew together, was to warn Rawdon to be in waiting on the Cliff, when Miss Crawley went out for her air in her chair.

  There they met. I don‘t know whether Miss Crawley had any private feeling of regard or emotion upon seeing her old favourite; but she held out a couple of fingers to him with as smiling and good-humoured an air as if they had met only the day before. And as for Rawdon, he turned as red as scarlet, and wrung off Briggs‘s hand, so great was his rapture and his confusion at the meeting. Perhaps it was interest that moved him: or perhaps affection: perhaps he was touched by the change which the illness of the last weeks had wrought in his aunt.

  ‘The old girl has always acted like a trump to me,‘ he said to his wife, as he narrated
the interview, ‘and I felt, you know, rather queer, and that sort of thing. I walked by the side of the what-d‘ye-call-‘em, you know, and to her own door, where Bowls came to help her in. And I wanted to go in very much, only—‘

  ‘You didn‘t go in, Rawdon!‘ screamed his wife.

  ‘No, my dear; I‘m hanged if I wasn‘t afraid when it came to the point.‘

  ‘You fool! you ought to have gone in, and never come out again,‘ Rebecca said.

  ‘Don‘t call me names,‘ said the big guardsman, sulkily. ‘Perhaps I was a fool, Becky, but you shouldn‘t say so;‘ and he gave his wife a look, such as his countenance could wear when angered, and such as was not pleasant to face.

  ‘Well, dearest, to-morrow you must be on the look-out, and go and see her, mind, whether she asks you or no,‘ Rebecca said, trying to soothe her angry yoke-mate. On which he replied, that he would do exactly as he liked, and would just thank her to keep a civil tongue in her head—and the wounded husband went away, and passed the forenoon at the billiard-room, sulky, silent, and suspicious.

  But before the night was over he was compelled to give in, and own, as usual, to his wife‘s superior prudence and foresight, by the most melancholy confirmation of the presentiments which she had regarding the consequences of the mistake which he had made. Miss Crawley must have had some emotion upon seeing him and shaking hands with him after so long a rupture. She mused upon the meeting a considerable time. ‘Rawdon is getting very fat and old, Briggs,‘ she said to her companion. ‘His nose has become red, and he is exceedingly coarse in appearance. His marriage to that woman has hopelessly vulgarized him. Mrs. Bute always said they drank together; and I have no doubt they do. Yes: he smelt of gin abominably. I remarked it. Didn‘t you?‘

  In vain Briggs interposed that Mrs. Bute spoke ill of everybody: and, as far as a person in her humble position could judge, was an—

  ‘An artful designing woman? Yes, so she is, and she does speak ill of every one—but I am certain that woman has made Rawdon drink. All those low people do—‘

  ‘He was very much affected at seeing you, ma‘am,‘ the companion said; ‘and I am sure, when you remember that he is going to the field of danger—‘

  ‘How much money has he promised you, Briggs?‘ the old spinster cried out, working herself into a nervous rage—‘there now, of course you begin to cry. I hate scenes. Why am I always to be worried? Go and cry up in your own room, and send Firkin to me,—no, stop, sit down and blow your nose, and leave off crying, and write a letter to Captain Crawley.‘ Poor Briggs went and placed herself obediently at the writing-book. Its leaves were blotted all over with the relics of the firm, strong, rapid handwriting of the spinster‘s late amanuensis, Mrs. Bute Crawley.

  ‘Begin “My dear sir”, or “Dear sir”, that will be better, and say you are desired by Miss Crawley—no, by Miss Crawley‘s medical man, by Mr. Creamer, to state, that my health is such that all strong emotions would be dangerous in my present delicate condition—and that I must decline any family discussions or interviews whatever. And thank him for coming to Brighton, and so forth, and beg him not to stay any longer on my account. And, Miss Briggs, you may add that I wish him a bon voyage, and that if he will take the trouble to call upon my lawyer‘s in Gray‘s Inn Square, he will find there a communication for him. Yes, that will do; and that will make him leave Brighton.‘ The benevolent Briggs penned this sentence with the utmost satisfaction.

  ‘To seize upon me the very day after Mrs. Bute was gone,‘ the old lady prattled on; ‘it was too indecent. Briggs, my dear, write to Mrs. Crawley, and say she needn‘t come back. No—she needn‘t—and she shan‘t—and I won‘t be a slave in my own house—and I won‘t be starved and choked with poison. They all want to kill me—all—all——‘ and with this the lonely old woman burst into a scream of hysterical tears.

  The last scene of her dismal Vanity Fair comedy was fast approaching; the tawdry lamps were going out one by one; and the dark curtain was almost ready to descend.

  That final paragraph, which referred Rawdon to Miss Crawley‘s solicitor in London, and which Briggs had written so good-naturedly, consoled the dragoon and his wife somewhat, after their first blank disappointment on reading the spinster‘s refusal of a reconciliation. And it effected the purpose for which the old lady had caused it to be written, by making Rawdon very eager to get to London.

  Out of Jos‘s losings and George Osborne‘s bank-notes, he paid his bill at the inn, the landlord whereof does not probably know to this day how doubtfully his account once stood. For, as a general sends his baggage to the rear before an action, Rebecca had wisely packed up all their chief valuables and sent them off under care of George‘s servant, who went in charge of the trunks on the coach back to London. Rawdon and his wife returned by the same conveyance next day.

  ‘I should have liked to see the old girl before we went,‘ Rawdon said. ‘She looks so cut up and altered that I‘m sure she can‘t last long. I wonder what sort of a cheque I shall have at Waxy‘s. Two hundred—it can‘t be less than two hundred—hey, Becky?‘

  In consequence of the repeated visits of the gentlemen whose portraits have been taken in a preceding page, Rawdon and his wife did not go back to their lodgings at Brompton, but put up at an inn. Early the next morning, Rebecca had an opportunity of seeing them as she skirted that suburb on her road to old Mrs. Sedley‘s house at Fulham, whither she went to look for her dear Amelia and her Brighton friends. They were all off to Chatham, thence to Harwich, to take shipping for Belgium with the regiment—kind old Mrs. Sedley very much depressed and tearful, solitary. Returning from this visit, Rebecca found her husband, who had been off to Gray‘s Inn, and learnt his fate. He came back furious.

  ‘By Jove, Becky,‘ says he, ‘she‘s only given me twenty pound!‘

  Though it told against themselves, the joke was too good, and Becky burst out laughing at Rawdon‘s discomfiture.

  CHAPTER XXVI

  Between London and Chatham

  On quitting Brighton, our friend George, as became a person of rank and fashion, travelling in a barouche with four horses, drove in state to a fine hotel in Cavendish Square, where a suite of splendid rooms, and a table magnificently furnished with plate and surrounded by a half-dozen of black and silent waiters, was ready to receive the young gentleman and his bride. George did the honours of the place with a princely air to Jos and Dobbin; and Amelia, for the first time, and with exceeding shyness and timidity, presided at what George called her own table.

  George pooh-poohed the wine and bullied the waiters royally, and Jos gobbled the turtle with immense satisfaction. Dobbin helped him to it; for the lady of the house, before whom the tureen was placed, was so ignorant of the contents, that she was going to help Mr. Sedley without bestowing upon him either calipash or calipee.ha

  The splendour of the entertainment, and the apartments in which it was given, alarmed Mr. Dobbin, who remonstrated after dinner, when Jos was asleep in the great chair. But in vain he cried out against the enormity of turtle and champagne that was fit for an archbishop. ‘I‘ve always been accustomed to travel like a gentleman,‘ George said, ‘and, damme, my wife shall travel like a lady. As long as there‘s a shot in the locker, she shall want for nothing,‘ said the generous fellow, quite pleased with himself for his magnificence of spirit. Nor did Dobbin try and convince him that Amelia‘s happiness was not centred in turtle-soup.

  A while after dinner, Amelia timidly expressed a wish to go and see her mamma, at Fulham: which permission George granted her with some grumbling. And she tripped away to her enormous bedroom, in the centre of which stood the enormous funereal bed, ‘that the Emperor Halixan der‘s sisterhb slep in when the allied sufferings was here,‘ and put on her little bonnet and shawl with the utmost eagerness and pleasure. George was still drinking claret when she returned to the dining-room, and made no signs of moving. ‘Aren‘t you coming with me, dearest?‘ she asked him. No; the ‘dearest‘ had ‘business‘ that nig
ht. His man should get her a coach, and go with her. And the coach being at the door of the hotel, Amelia made George a little disappointed curtsy after looking vainly into his face once or twice, and went sadly down the great staircase, Captain Dobbin after, who handed her into the vehicle, and saw it drive away to its destination. The very valet was ashamed of mentioning the address to the hackney-coachman before the hotel-waiters, and promised to instruct him when they got farther on.

  Dobbin walked home to his old quarters at the Slaughter‘s, thinking very likely that it would be delightful to be in that hackney-coach, along with Mrs. Osborne. George was evidently of quite a different taste; for when he had taken wine enough, he went off to half-price at the play, to see Mr. Kean perform in Shylock. Captain Osborne was a great lover of the drama, and had himself performed high-comedy characters with great distinction in several garrison theatrical entertainments. Jos slept on until long after dark, when he woke up with a start at the motions of his servant, who was removing and emptying the decanters on the table; and the hackney-coach stand was again put into requisition for a carriage to convey this stout hero to his lodgings and bed.