Claiming the Doctor's Heart

by Renee Ryan

  If that didn’t just kill the evening for him.

  Still, Connor knew what he had to do. He had to break things off with Olivia. Something deep within his soul balked at the idea.

  Tasha appeared in the doorway and Hardy straightened to his full height, ran a hand over his hair. “Ah, there’s my date.”

  Connor forgotten, he took off toward the nurse, leaving Connor alone with his thoughts.

  He shouldn’t feel this disappointed, this let down over a woman that had only been temporarily in his life.

  Nevertheless, the thought of saying goodbye to Olivia felt like a punch to the gut and a stab to the heart.

  That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to let her go.

  One woman had given up her dream to be with him, and had lived the rest of her life with regret. Connor would not condemn Olivia to the same fate.

  Chapter Nineteen

  To Olivia’s way of thinking, the evening had been memorable, nearly perfect, one of the best in her life. Then came the moment when Connor settled into his SUV next to her.

  With each mile they covered between the country club and her house, he grew more silent, more distant, almost cold. Olivia wrapped her arms around her waist, the gesture one of comfort and self-preservation.

  Something had changed since they’d left the party. “Connor—”

  “I spoke with Carlotta this afternoon.”

  The words were like a shock of cold water to the already icy atmosphere in the car.

  Olivia tried her best to keep her voice even. “How is she doing?”

  “She’s ready to come back to work.”

  “Oh.” She’d known this day was coming, but now that it was here she couldn’t wrap her brain around the realization that she wouldn’t be a part of the twins’ daily lives. Or Connor’s. “That’s...good news.”

  “It is.” His voice gave away nothing away.

  Olivia dug her fingers into the fabric of her dress. This wasn’t the way she’d expected the evening to end. She’d planned to tell Connor she loved him. That she was willing to do whatever it took to explore a relationship with him. But it would take both of them to make it work. And right now Connor didn’t seem...invested.

  “The girls will be glad to have her back.”

  “They’ll miss you.” He looked straight ahead as he spoke, concentrating on the road as if they were in the midst of a blizzard.

  The weather was perfectly clear.

  “Like I said before, I want to continue a relationship with the twins.” She reached out to touch Connor’s arm, pulled back before making contact. “And you.”

  He said nothing.

  Not exactly full of words, was he?

  Perhaps now was the time to tell him she loved him and wanted to try being with him.

  But he pulled the car to a stop outside her house and turned to face her.

  The sorrow in his eyes was a mere flash of emotion before he masked it behind a blank stare. “It’s been a pleasure having you in my home, Olivia, caring for my daughters. And me. You’ve changed our lives for the better.”

  They why did she get the feeling he was about to say goodbye?

  Dear Lord, no. Please, no.

  “Oh, Connor, I love your daughters. I also lo—”

  He exited the car, sufficiently cutting off the rest of her declaration. Opening her door, he waited for her to join him on the sidewalk.

  When she did, they simply stared at each other. Connor had a look in his eyes, the kind a man got when he was about to make an important declaration.

  But not a good one.

  Again, he covered up his feelings with an unreadable expression. “Carlotta will be able to start back to work on Monday.”

  “I understand.” She took his hand, clutched it tightly inside hers. “I want us to continue seeing each other, Connor, to explore what’s growing between us.”

  It was the exact wrong thing to say.

  “You’re starting a business that will require every bit of your focus, Olivia. You know my crazy schedule.” He cupped her face, his guard slipping enough for her to see inside his heart, to the vulnerable man who could love her as much as she loved him.

  Why wouldn’t he just say the words she desperately wanted to hear?

  “There’s something between us. I won’t deny it. And I think it could be really special. But it’s not going to happen. We can’t be together.”

  That was it? “Connor, no, please—”

  He placed his lips on hers, a mere whisper of a touch, then pulled away.

  She clutched at the lapels on his suit. “We can make it work between us.”

  Even as she said the words, she felt him pulling back, saw him put up an invisible wall between them. The one she hadn’t seen in months.

  “I know you mean that, Olivia, and we might even be able to sync our schedules for a while.” He buried his face in her hair, breathed deeply. “But one day reality will set in. One of us will have to sacrifice more than the other, maybe more than we can bear. I won’t let that be you, and it can’t be me because I have two daughters to consider.”

  “It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. One of us doesn’t have to sacrifice more than the other. We can each make compromises. Fair ones that won’t necessitate a need to feel resentful.”

  “It won’t work.”

  She clung to him, desperation making her voice thick and raw sounding. “How can you know that if you won’t even try?”

  “Goodbye, Olivia.”

  She released him, swiped at her cheek. “That’s it? You’re quitting on us? Just like that?”

  “We’ll stay friends.”

  “You want us to stay...friends.” She didn’t want that. She wanted more, so much more.

  “It’s for the best.” He placed another quick kiss on her lips. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

  She held up a hand to stop his pursuit. “Don’t bother.”

  She made a move to go, then stopped, took a deep pull of air and said, “Under the circumstances it might be better if I tell the girls goodbye without you there. I’ll stop by Monday morning, after you’ve headed out to work.”

  He nodded.

  She turned her back on him and opened the front door with her key. Not daring to look back, she walked inside the house and shut the door behind her with a determined click.

  It was over between her and Connor, before it had truly begun. And she couldn’t even pinpoint the moment when things had gone wrong.

  * * *

  Shattered, emotions raw, Connor simply stood outside Olivia’s house, unmoving, looking at the shut door as though he could will it to open and Olivia to step back out.

  The door remained firmly shut.

  His chance to be with her was gone. And he couldn’t help thinking he’d blown it. That he’d given up too soon.

  “You look like you’ve lost your best friend.”

  Worse, it was so much worse. He’d lost the woman of his heart. “Go away, Ethan.”

  “I can’t believe it.” Ethan shook his head in utter amazement. “You cut her loose.”

  “It was the right thing to do.”

  “You sure about that?”

  “I’m not in the mood for a discussion right now.” He rounded on his friend. “Go away.”

  “Sorry, pal, but not a chance. I saw you with Olivia tonight. You looked happy, really happy.”

  Yeah, he’d been happier than he’d felt in years. But he’d let Olivia go anyway. For all the right reasons.

  Then why did everything feel all wrong?

  “It needs to be said, Connor, so I’m going to say it. You’re connected to Olivia in a way you were never connected with—” Ethan cut off the rest of his words
. “That is, you and Olivia are right together.”

  Connor closed off his emotions, and put the logical doctor in place, just as he’d done on the car ride here. “Doesn’t matter.” He continued staring at the shut door, willing Olivia to come back out, knowing she wouldn’t. “It’s over between us.”

  Ethan eyeballed him, his expression full of disappointment. “So you’re really going to let her go.”

  “It’s for the best.” He pressed his lips into a grim line, the gesture mirroring the bleakness in his heart. “She deserves to reach for her dreams without me holding her back.”

  “Admittedly, I’m not much for giving advice in the relationship department—”

  “Then don’t.”

  “It seems to me you’re not giving Olivia much of a choice in the matter.”

  “I’m not taking her choice away, I’m making it easier.”

  “On the contrary, you’re stealing her decision.”

  “I’m putting her needs above my own.”

  Ethan snorted in disgust. “That’s what you’re telling yourself?”

  “It’s the truth.”

  “It’s the coward’s way out.”

  It took every ounce of Connor’s strength not to react to the taunt. Ethan was wrong. His actions weren’t cowardly. They were sacrificial.

  And Connor was lying to himself.

  His reasons for letting Olivia go were as much about him as they were her. He wanted her to succeed in reaching her dreams. But he also wanted to guard his heart from another aching loss, from enduring another marriage with a woman who resented him.

  What if she doesn’t end up resenting you? What if you can figure out a way to be with her without having her compromise her dream?

  Needing to think in silence, without certain well-meaning friends breathing down his neck, Connor moved around Ethan. “Gotta go.”

  “That’s it? You’re walking away from my sister without a fight?”

  “I’m not walking away. I’m heading home because I need to think.”

  “All right, then, while you’re at it, think about this.” Ethan came around to look him directly in the eye. “Olivia is an intelligent, gifted, caring woman who can make her own decisions. Let her.”

  “I’ll take that under advisement.”

  “Connor—”

  “Give it a rest, Ethan.”

  He made it home before eleven and found Avery asleep on the sofa. Not wanting to wake her, he went into the dining room and sat in the dark. He didn’t know how long he sat there, letting the night’s events soak in, before his eyes landed on the credenza.

  Compelled, he walked over and opened the drawer that held the photo album of Sheila. He picked it up, noticed the Bible underneath and paused. He’d forgotten all about Sheila’s Bible, having tucked it away years ago and not wanting to look at it since.

  Now, hands shaking, he pulled it out, replaced the photo album and left the room. His footsteps heavier than before, he went into the kitchen, set the Bible on the counter and ran his finger over the worn cover.

  In her last days of life, Sheila had found great comfort in the pages beneath his hand. Connor hadn’t understood her need to have her Bible close, or why she’d felt bound to read from it even when her eyesight waned.

  What was in there that had offered her such comfort?

  Bracing himself, he flipped open the cover, shuffled through several pages, stopped when he came to a bookmark with a picture of a bald eagle and her favorite verse etched across the top. He set the slim piece of cardstock back in place, continued turning pages.

  His hand froze over a pink envelope with Molly’s and Megan’s names scrawled on the front in Sheila’s handwriting. She hadn’t bothered to seal it.

  Did Connor dare read what she had to say to their daughters?

  What if it was something that would upset them?

  What if it was something that would bring them peace?

  He had to know. Before he presented the letter to the twins, he had to read what Sheila wrote first.

  Throat burning, he pulled out the letter and began reading.

  To my beautiful precious daughters,

  I’m writing this with a heavy heart, knowing that I won’t be able to watch you grow into adults. But I’ll always be with you in spirit.

  I’m sorry I’m leaving you without a mother. If I could stay, I would. But the Lord is calling me home now, and where I’m going there will be no more sorrow, no more pain, only joy and singing.

  I pray one day your father will find another woman to love you as much as I do, who will treasure you as I do and will take care of you with kindness and grace. I pray she brings love into your home and teaches you all the things a mother is supposed to teach her daughters.

  I grow tired, so very tired. But I want to leave you with one last thing. Raising you two girls was the joy of my life. If I had it to do all over again, I would make the same decisions. Tell your father I love him, have always loved him and stop being so hard on himself. I can’t wait to see you in heaven one day. I love you always,

  Mom

  Connor’s eyes filled with tears and his heart clenched hard in his chest. He recognized the gift he’d just been given, one he hadn’t been expecting, and would share with his daughters when they were a little bit older.

  Sheila hadn’t resented him. She hadn’t regretted giving up her career to raise her daughters. She wanted him to move on with his life, to provide a happy home for himself and their daughters.

  A wave of peace passed through him, the sensation soft and healing and dragging the tears out of his eyes.

  With mechanical movements, he refolded the letter and stuffed it back inside the envelope. He placed both against his heart and said the words he’d never been able to say until now.

  “Goodbye, Sheila.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Make a plan. Work the plan. Adjust when necessary.

  The winning formula had already brought Olivia further than she could have imagined a few months ago, allowing her to turn a lifelong dream into a full-blown reality. She would be wise to continue relying on those same three steps for other areas of her life.

  Thus, she made her next plan, the most important of her life.

  Step One. Give Connor the entire weekend to come to his senses and not a day more. By Monday morning, if he hadn’t sought her out first, then Olivia would take matters into her own hands and go to him herself, explain all the reasons why they belonged together.

  It was a good plan.

  A workable plan.

  No adjustments necessary.

  Fortified with her new strategy in mind, she plucked her keys out of her purse and headed out to meet Keely at the church.

  Hand on the doorknob, she experienced a moment of overwhelming panic. What if she couldn’t convince Connor to take a chance on her, on them?

  No. She wouldn’t give in to doubt. Doubt had no place in her plan.

  Olivia simply needed to practice what she would say to Connor. Not that she hadn’t already done that, all day yesterday and last night. In fact, maybe she wouldn’t wait until tomorrow morning to speak with him. Maybe she would head over to his house now and—

  “Connor?”

  “Hello, Olivia.”

  There he stood, on her front doorstep, looking at her in a way that made her knees threaten to give way. His handsome, heart-stopping face showed signs of stress, especially around the eyes, but she saw something else in his gaze, as well.

  Something sweet and maybe a little vulnerable. Something that looked a lot like love.

  He studied her face as if he’d been hungry for the sight of her. She liked being the center of all that masculine attention.

  Then he smiled.

>   And her heart sighed.

  Right then, in that precise moment, Olivia knew everything was going to be okay between them.

  She closed the distance, conscious of his solid strength as she approached him, as well as her need for him in her life. She wouldn’t let him leave until she made that abundantly clear.

  “I have a lot to say to you,” he said softly, breaking the silence first.

  So much she wanted to say to him, too. But everything in her heart came down to three simple words. “I love you, Connor.”

  “I love you, too, Olivia.”

  He’d said the words. He’d finally said the words. They were going to be okay.

  Forcing his gaze free of hers, he took several bracing breaths and then turned back to her. “I’m sorry, Olivia. I made a decision about our future without giving you a chance to share in the process.”

  “Yes, you did.”

  “I need to tell you why.”

  Although he’d made his reasons clear enough the other night, she nodded. “All right.”

  He guided her to a bench beneath a tree in the front yard, waited for her to sit before joining her. “You already know Sheila got pregnant with the girls while I was still in medical school.”

  “Yes.” Olivia touched his hand in a show of comfort. “And she had to quit her job to raise the girls.”

  “Neither of us was prepared for the demands that came with caring for two infants.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “We were young and naive and convinced she would be able to go back to work in six weeks, maybe two months.”

  He paused, but not long enough for Olivia to say anything in response.

  “Sheila wasn’t happy about giving up her career, but she did it. For me. For the girls. Because of things she said in counseling, I assumed she resented me for that. I now know the truth. I was wrong.”

  He seemed certain, and looked as if a weight had left his heart, as if a heavy burden had been lifted. “What convinced you otherwise?”

  “I found a letter she left for the girls. The specific words are meant for them, alone.” He glanced at a spot over Olivia’s shoulder. “But I can tell you her greatest joy was being their mother.”