Sledge: The Hockey Player's Secret Baby

by Lila Moore

  Enough of my stakeout. I was going to surprise her and get the truth. I didn’t bother knocking. I walked straight into her house. She was standing in the living room wearing an old plaid skirt with a long sleeved bloused. In her arms was a baby. First her eyes went wide with shock, then they narrowed.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  The baby in her arms fussed. She patted its back. My mouth fell open. The baby’s back was to me, but I recognized the mop of blonde hair. The room spun. I took a step back and collapsed onto the couch.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” she said a bit hysterically. “Your father will have a fit, Bobbi.”

  She carried the baby past me into the bedroom. As she passed I caught a glimpse of his face. The hazel eyes and square, masculine face belonged to Sledge. It was him. My baby. There was no denying it.

  Spots formed in front of my eyes. My chest was tight. I was on the verge of passing out. In the distance, the baby cried. I needed to comfort him. Some instinct inside me pulled me to my feet. My baby needed his mother.

  A door slammed and my aunt reappeared, blocking me from going to the baby. Her arms crossed in front of her chest. She stared me down hard. I’d never seen this side of my aunt before. I was used to dealing with the sweet, but somewhat feeble woman who liked to play cards and dominos. The woman who stood in front of me reminded me of my father. They shared the same withering gaze.

  “You need to leave, Bobbi.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. That’s my baby.”

  “The baby’s not yours anymore.”

  “He’ll always be mine. There’s nothing you or my father can do to change that.”

  “Get out of my house.”

  “Not without my son.”

  I started to push her aside. She grabbed my arms and forced me back down onto the couch. I was surprised by her strength. So much for the feeble old woman I’d grown accustomed to. My aunt was much stronger than she looked.

  “Sit down,” she said.

  I obeyed her orders but not without protest. “Why is the baby with you? He was supposed to have been adopted into a loving family.”

  “He was adopted into a loving family: ours.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Of course you don’t, you foolish girl. You’re nothing more than a child. You went and got yourself knocked up then left the responsibility of being a parent to everyone else.”

  “No, that’s not what happened. My father forced me to give the baby up for adoption. I wanted to keep him.”

  “Regardless,” she said. Her lips were so tight that her face had turned pale. Clearly, she didn’t believe me. “The baby is being cared for by more capable adults.”

  “Who? You? Why haven’t I seen signs of the baby before? Where was he on the weekends when I was with you?”

  “The baby was always going to stay in the family. We didn’t want him being handed off to strangers. Who knew how they’d raise him. What if he wasn’t brought up in a Christian home? What if his adopted family were monsters?”

  I shook my head in disbelief. The idea of my baby being secretly raised by my aunt was more unsettling than the idea of him being raised by strangers. Most adoptive parents are loving people. My aunt was something else.

  “How could you keep this secret? You had to know I’d find out eventually,” I said.

  My aunt shrugged. “You’re just a child. You’ll do what we say.”

  It was an unbelievably dismissive response. “You can’t honestly believe I’d just take your word for gold and move on with my life, that I would blindly follow your orders forever?”

  “Well, you have been, haven’t you? You never once questioned anything. You never suspected anything was amiss. Like I said, you believe what we want you to believe.”

  If she wasn’t an old woman, I would have hit her. “What right do you have to do this?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’ve fed and cared for that baby while you were out partying. Don’t lecture me. I’ve taken on a great responsibility.”

  “That’s impossible. I’m here every weekend. I’ve never seen any sign of a baby.”

  “Since I’m forced to babysit you on the weekends, the baby stays with some ladies from the church. They care for him while I make sure you don’t spiral any further down the path of immorality.”

  “You self-righteous bitch.”

  My aunt’s eyes doubled in size. She laughed. “You self-centered little girl. You have no idea how much work goes into being a mother. I’ve sacrificed everything to take care of your baby.”

  “I never asked you to do that, and don’t pretend like you’ve given up your life for me. You have no life. You don’t work. My father supports you. All you do is gossip with your church friends and watch TV all day.”

  My aunt’s hand cut through the air quickly. She slapped me so hard tears welled up in my eyes. I grabbed my cheek.

  “Don’t you ever speak that way to me again.”

  I’d always thought of aunt as feeble and basically nice. Now I saw that the same rage lurked inside her that was inside my father. How could she keep this secret from me for so long? Then I thought of Sledge. The secret lives people hide can be devastating. I couldn’t help looking at my aunt’s two-faced behavior and seeing myself. Shame faced, I looked away.

  “You don’t even love him,” I said weakly.

  My chest felt tight. I thought my life couldn’t get any worse. I was wrong. This was worse than anything I’d ever imagined. My son wasn’t in a loving home; he was being raised by a woman barely capable of taking care of him who saw him as nothing more than a burden.

  “Did you even name him?” I asked.

  “Of course we did. We named him after one of the strongest, fiercest men I know: your father.”

  My stomach dropped. The idea of naming my baby after the man who’d taken him from my arms and sent him to a loveless home made me rage. I jumped to my feet. My aunt blocked my path. If I had to knock her down, I would. If she broke a hip, I didn’t care.

  Light filled the room; a car door slammed shut. Someone had pulled into the driveway.

  “That will be your father,” my aunt said.

  Things had just gotten worse. I couldn’t fight off the two of them. Even if I managed to get the baby out of the house and away from my aunt, where would we go? I couldn’t raise a baby in a dorm. I’d have to go to Sledge. I couldn’t imagine the look on his face when I showed up on his doorstep carrying a baby-his baby.

  There was no other choice. Sledge had to learn the truth. It would rock his world, but I had to do what was best for the baby. My pregnancy was as much Sledge’s responsibility as mine. If our lives suffered, then we’d just have to live with it.

  I had to move quickly. I would grab the baby, run out through the back patio, then jump in Sledge’s car. I suddenly realized I didn’t have a car seat or diapers or formula. I’d figure it out later. What was important was getting the baby out of that house.

  I made a move to run past my aunt. I faked to the left then ran to her right. Behind me I could hear a loud knock at the door. Odd. My father usually just barged into my aunt’s house. He saw it as his house since he paid for it.

  The knocking caught my aunt off guard too. She paused long enough for me to dart into the guest room. She didn’t chase me. I heard her casually walk to the door. She was taking her time. She knew my father would take control. It never occurred to her until she opened the door that it wasn’t my father knocking.

  I threw open the guest room door to find my baby. He was crying and red-faced. His little hands were balled into fists. He was alone in his crib with a plain white blanket. There were no toys in the room or stuffed animals. Did he live like this all the time? Nothing to play with, no one to show him affection. The only one to comfort his cries was my aunt. The thought gave me a chill.

  I went to the crib and looked down at him. He didn’t seem real. His face was soft and round, but I could see the
underlying bone structure that in later years would resemble his father’s. I touched his arm carefully. I was afraid he’d disappear if I picked him up.

  “What are you doing here?” my aunt said from the living room. Her voice broke the spell. I had to move quickly.

  I wrapped the blanket around him and scooped him up into my arms. He was heavier than I thought. Almost a year old, he was chubby and long. He’d be tall like his daddy.

  I clutched him to my chest and felt his warmth. Life pulsed through him, new and energetic. I wanted to cry. There was no time for that now though. I searched the room. On the floor against the wall was a car seat. I put the baby down in it and secured it tight. I picked up the car seat and went to the door.

  “I’m looking for Bobbi.” Sledge’s voice stopped me in my tracks. I stood in the doorway. Sledge came to me then stopped ten feet away. His eyes were fixed on the car seat.

  My lies crumbled.

  I watched Sledge’s eyes turn from confusion to understanding. He knew the baby was ours.

  “You can’t be here. I’ll call the police,” my aunt threatened.

  Sledge ignored her. He dropped to his knees and pulled back the blanket to get a better look at his baby. I was frozen in place. I didn’t dare speak or move. The baby looked up at Sledge; they shared the same hazel eyes. There was a commotion at the door.

  “Thank God you’re here,” my aunt said. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with this girl. She’s brought this boy into my house and-”

  “Quiet,” my father said.

  Darkness fell over Sledge’s eyes. He jumped to his feet. Silently, he crossed the space between himself and my father.

  “Leave right-” Those were the only words my father was able to get out before Sledge silenced him with his fist. I clutched my hands to my mouth in shock as Sledge laid into him. Blow after blow fell onto my father. He managed to throw one swing at Sledge, but missed. He was the kind of man who was used to being obeyed without question. Fighting wasn’t something he was prepared for. Sledge knocked him to the floor, then jumped on top of him.

  My aunt screamed: “I’m calling the police!”

  “Sledge, please,” I said.

  He stopped and looked at me. The baby had started to cry again. His eyes went to him.

  “Let’s go,” he said to me.

  With trembling hands, I picked up the car seat. I took a step towards the front door. My father lay before it, blocking the path. A sick wheezing sound came from him as he tried to breathe through his broken nose. He didn’t try to get up. Either he was too wounded or too afraid. I clutched the car seat to me. I was too afraid to step past me. Even now that he was broken, I still found him terrifying.

  “Bobbi, let’s go,” Sledge said.

  When he saw the look on my face, he took the car seat from me and wrapped an arm around my waist. I jumped over the top of my father quickly and ran outside. Sledge’s driver waited in a black sports car. He looked up when Sledge and I appeared.

  “We’re going back to my place,” he said to his driver. The man nodded. To me he said: “Give me the keys.”

  I handed them over mutely. Sledge opened the Jaguar’s door and put the baby in the back. He secured the car seat like he’d done it a million times. Sledge had a younger sister that was born when he was fifteen. He had a lot of experience taking care of her. Still, I was impressed by how naturally he handled the baby.

  I stood on the lawn watching. Sledge finished and turned to me. I didn’t dare move. I had the sickening feeling he didn’t want me to come.

  “Get in,” he said harshly.

  I obeyed his orders quickly. Now that I’d been exposed, I didn’t want to do anything to further to hurt him. I looked back at the house as we pulled away. My father was on his feet. He stood in the doorway, glaring at us as we drove away. This wasn’t over for him. Not by a long shot.

  15

  The ride back to Sledge’s condo took forever. We got stuck in traffic on the freeway. The baby made cooing noises, but never cried. We were stopped in bumper-to-bumper traffic. I took the opportunity to slip back into the backseat and check on him. He looked completely content. His big eyes looked up at me.

  I ran my fingers over his blonde hair and down his cheek. His hair was curly at the ends and stuck up in the back. I smiled down at him. To my surprise, he returned my smile. He already had his first tooth. His grin reminded me of Chick. I kissed his forehead then slipped back into the front seat.

  Sledge glanced back at the baby, but didn’t look at me. He turned his focus back to the traffic ahead of us. I studied the side of his face. His strong jaw and straight nose framed by his shaggy hair gave him the appearance of a rock star.

  “Sledge…” I ventured a word, my voice barely a whisper.

  “Not now,” he snapped.

  I bit my lip. He had every right to be furious. I wrung my hands and stared out the window. Slowly, the car crept forward. Traffic had finally started to move.

  Sledge carried the baby in his arms up to his condo. I stayed a couple steps behind him and watched as he held him to his chest. The little guy looked so tiny in Sledge’s big hands. It made me want to cry.

  When we stepped into his condo, I finally found the nerve to speak up. “We need to get diapers and formula, clothes, a crib…”

  “I’ll send my driver to pick up everything he needs. It is a he, right?”

  “Yeah, it’s a boy.”

  “What’s his name?”

  Stars danced in front of my eyes. I wanted to faint. I never imagined I’d have this conversation with Sledge. Now that it was here, I wanted to kill myself. Sledge was doing everything he could to stay calm, but I could see the storm brewing in his eyes.

  “Bobbi? What did you name him?”

  “I didn’t,” I said. My voice broke and tears started to fall. “They wouldn’t let me. As soon as he was born, they took him from me. They told me he’d been adopted into a good family. Until tonight, I had no idea they were hiding him. I would have taken him and run away if I’d known.”

  Sympathy passed over Sledge’s eyes, but it was only a momentary flash, like lightning on the horizon.

  “He doesn’t even have a name.” It wasn’t a question. “How old is he?”

  “Almost a year.”

  “A year? You kept this secret from me for over a year? Chick knew, didn’t he? That’s why he got mad at me in the locker room.” Sledge shook his head in disbelief.

  “I know that saying I’m sorry isn’t good enough…”

  “You’re right it’s not.”

  “…but I’m sorry. This isn’t the life I chose. The baby-our baby-was taken from me without my consent. My dad said it was for the best. He said I would ruin your life and his by having a baby. I didn’t want to kill your dreams or shame my family. It’s no excuse, but I was scared.”

  The baby started to fuss in Sledge’s arms. He held him out and looked at him.

  “This is insane,” he said.

  “I know.” I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my arm. “I’ve thought about him every single second of every day. Who was he with? How was he being cared for? Did his new family love him? I had no idea he was being hidden from me by my family. I could kill them for doing this to me-to us.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Sledge’s voice broke; his eyes were glassy. I’d never seen him cry before. “I would have helped you. We could have figured this out together.”

  “I was scared and I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  Sledge frowned. “You should leave,” he said sadly.

  “What about-”

  “I’ll take care of him. Look, I just need a few days to think, and I want to get to know my son.”

  The words sounded strange coming from him, as if he didn’t quite believe this was real life. I felt helpless.

  “Sledge, please don’t cut me out of his life.”

  “Christ, Bobbi… you really think I would do that to you? That I�
��d never let you see your own son? Or that I’d make a decision that impacted your life without giving you a say in it?” His words were bitter. It was clear he wasn’t going to forgive me for what I’d done-not now, maybe never. Tears started to fall down my face.

  “Can I please hold him before I leave? I haven’t seen him since they took him away from me at the hospital.”

  “Of course,” he replied, sounding almost pitiful.

  Gently, he handed the baby over to me. I cradled him in my arms. My tears had turned to sobs of both relief and misery. Sledge looked away, then left the room. He couldn’t bear to be in the same room as me.

  Distantly, I heard him talking on the phone.

  I ran my fingers through the baby’s hair and kissed his cheeks and forehead. He grabbed my finger in his tiny fist and tried to put it in his mouth. Time passed quickly and Sledge soon returned. He didn’t say anything. I handed the baby over to him. I kissed the baby’s tiny fist, then grabbed my bag.

  “My driver will take you back to your dorm,” he said. “I’ll call you in a couple days. Okay?”

  To my surprise, Sledge wrapped an arm around me and pulled me to him. Maybe there was some room in his heart to forgive me. I clung to him hard, but not too hard, I was worried about crushing the baby between us.

  He ran his hand down my back. With a sigh, he pulled away. He took a step back, the baby firmly in his arms. I knew the baby was in good hands with Sledge. He was probably better off with father than with me, I thought sadly.

  “Call me if he needs anything… or if you need anything,” I said.

  Sledge nodded. I didn’t want to leave the baby behind. The first time I lost him he was taken from me. Now I was the one leaving. I tried to tell myself this wasn’t forever. I believed Sledge when he said he’d never keep me from the baby. This was for the best. He was far more equipped to take care of him than I was.