This Is Our Song

by Samantha Chase

  With her knife in hand, she was about to start on the zucchini when her cell phone rang. A quick glance at the screen showed it was her dad. Smiling, she answered the phone. “Hey, Dad! How are you?”

  “Good!” he said cheerily. “Really good.”

  “Is that right? Why? What’s going on?”

  “Your mother and I are here in California! Surprise!”

  “Oh my goodness! Really?”

  “Uh-huh. We’re here with Ian Shaughnessy. And Martha,” he added, “and the entire Shaughnessy clan. We’re all here for Riley’s concert tomorrow at the Hollywood Bowl.”

  Her heart sank. “Oh…wow. I…um…I didn’t know you were thinking of doing that.”

  “Riley sent us the tickets and paid to fly us out here. We’d been planning to get together again with Ian and Martha, so this worked out perfectly! So…you’re going to the concert, right?”

  In that moment, Savannah did something she hadn’t done since she was sixteen.

  She lied to her father.

  “Actually, I’m not.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I’m…I’m still on assignment. This sculptor guy isn’t big on talking so it’s taking longer than I thought. So…yeah. I’m sorry I’m going to miss seeing you.”

  “Me too,” Paul said and sighed. “Well, darn. After all the times we tried to coordinate a trip out here, your mom and I finally make it and you’re not home. When do you think you’ll be back?”

  If she knew her parents, they were going to be in town for at least a couple of days. “I’m probably going to be here for another three or four days and then it’s a two-day drive home. I really wish you would have told me you were coming.”

  “It’s okay, sweetheart. It was all a little spur of the moment and we wanted to surprise you. And we understand. Work comes first.”

  “Believe me, if I could have finished up sooner, I would have.” She loathed herself for lying, but she knew if her parents had any idea that she was in town, she’d get guilted into going with them to see Riley’s concert and she wasn’t ready for that.

  “We’ll have to try again at a later date,” Paul said. “Look, I better let you get back to work. Your mom sends her love. Promise to give us a call when you’re home so we know you made it back safely.”

  “I promise, Dad. And thanks.”

  “I love you, Savannah.”

  “Love you too, Dad.”

  When she put the phone back down, she felt terrible. At sixteen she had told her parents she was sleeping over at her friend Linda’s house when the reality was they were going to a club in Wichita to see some band play. They had stayed out all night and, of course, her parents had found out and she’d been grounded. She’d sworn she’d never sneak out or lie again, and she’d had a pretty long run of keeping that promise.

  It didn’t make her feel any better about the lie she’d just told.

  Picking up the knife, she chanted, “Just keep chopping. Just keep chopping.” It was still a total drudgery to do, but it kept her from thinking any more about how her parents were staying so close by and she wasn’t going to see them.

  A knock at the front door startled Savannah enough that she nicked her finger with the knife. “Dammit,” she cursed and immediately sucked on the wound. Tossing the knife down, she walked to the door and pulled it open. And froze.

  “Dad? What are you doing here?”

  Paul Daly stepped into his daughter’s home and grinned at the stunned look on her face. “I had a suspicion you weren’t really on an assignment. I mean, I know you were on an assignment a week ago, but I can’t imagine the wood sculptor would have allowed you to hang around this long.” He chuckled. “Or that you would want to stay that long.”

  Savannah sighed with defeat, closed the door, and wordlessly walked back to her kitchen. Picking up her discarded knife, she did her best to remain calm and continued to chop vegetables.

  “I’m disappointed in you,” he said, pulling up one of the stools and sitting before her.

  She continued to chop.

  “Aren’t you going to ask why?”

  Putting the knife down, she looked at him with a combination of annoyance and defeat. “I didn’t think I’d have to. I figured you’d tell me no matter what.”

  He chuckled. “Okay, you got me there.” He paused and looked at his only child. “For starters, we don’t lie to each other. Ever. I hate to think we’re at a point in this relationship where you’re okay with lying to me.”

  “Dad, I really wasn’t up to any more talk about Riley or the Shaughnessys, and that’s what you were going to do. Hell, it’s probably what you’re going to do right now!”

  With a nod, he reached out and snagged a strip of bell pepper and began to munch on it. “And on top of that, I never figured you to be a coward.”

  “Gee, Dad,” Savannah began sarcastically, “I’m so glad you decided to stop by.”

  He gave her a wry look. “You’ve been hiding out long enough.”

  “I haven’t been hiding out at all.” Liar. Liar. Liar, her inner voice mocked.

  “I thought we already covered the lying thing,” he said wearily. “Look, I understand why you think you need to avoid this concert, but it’s a big accomplishment, Savannah. One that you helped make happen.”

  “It had nothing to do with me. All that music was inside Riley. If anything, I’m the reason it took so long to come out!” She growled with frustration. “I’m the person who caused someone as crazy-talented as Riley Shaughnessy to spiral into a pit of depression and self-doubt! Because of me and my big mouth, spouting off crap I had no right—or reason—to talk about, that man lost a year of his life!”

  Paul stood, came around the counter, and pulled his daughter into his arms. “Sweetheart,” he began softly, “Riley didn’t lose a year of his life. He learned something about his life. During that time when he couldn’t write or play, he learned to look at himself and see what he really wanted with his life. He spent time with his family. It wasn’t time lost. You have to know that.”

  She shook her head and burrowed her face against his chest. “I don’t know that. What I do know is I’ll never forget the look on his face when he realized I was the reason he didn’t get a spot in the documentary. The shock. The betrayal and finally…just disgust.” She shook her head again. “I never want to see that look again. Ever.”

  Paul tucked a finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. “I hate to break it to you, sweet pea, but most people get that look more than once in their life. Hell, your mom gives it to me at least once a week.” He was trying to make her smile but missed his mark. “You’ve changed magazines, you haven’t done anything music-industry related, and you’re back to cutting hair besides. I thought you were braver than this.”

  “Well, I hate to disappoint you even more, but I’m not. I’m human like everybody else,” she said sadly.

  Paul hugged her tight again. “I’m not really disappointed in you, Savannah. I know you’re struggling and I know your heart’s been broken. I always figured you’d fight a little harder.”

  “I can’t, Dad. I can’t argue about what I did and what I said. It was all true. I can’t take it back, and I can’t make Riley forget I said it. And even if he said he could forgive me, I can’t forgive myself.”

  They stood like that for several long moments before Paul pulled away. “Then I guess I understand,” he finally said. “I won’t bring it up again. I support you, Savannah. I always have. And if this is what you feel like you have to do, then I’m here for you.”

  “Thanks, Dad,” she said quietly. Picking up her knife, she went back to chopping vegetables. “How come Mom didn’t come with you?”

  He chuckled. “She and Martha and the rest of the girls are going to get pampered a little. They’re all very excited about going to the Holly
wood Bowl and the possibility of meeting celebrities. Your mom has several batteries already charged for her camera just in case.”

  “I hope she won’t be too disappointed if she doesn’t see any.”

  “She’ll survive.” Then he looked at his daughter. “We all will.” He walked over and kissed her on the cheek. “I better get going. Ian and I are going to sit around and smoke cigars this afternoon.” He chuckled. “You sure you don’t want to come along?”

  “To smoke cigars? No thanks.” She couldn’t help but grin. “I’m glad you came by, Dad.”

  “Are you sure? A few minutes ago you didn’t feel that way.”

  “A few minutes ago I felt a little ambushed. We’re good, right?”

  He hugged her one more time. “We’re always good, Savannah.”

  * * *

  Her long hair was twisted up in a low bun and a cowboy hat was pulled low over her eyes. It was a hell of a way to travel, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

  Parking around the Hollywood Bowl was a nightmare. She was mentally prepared for it, but the reality was far worse. After parking at a remote lot and taking the bus, Savannah knew she’d be lucky if she made it to her seat before Riley hit the stage. With her ticket grasped tightly in her hand, she was thankful for the connections she had made in the music business because the show had sold out in the first twenty minutes after tickets went on sale.

  And using the ticket and VIP pass Mick had sent over was never an option.

  Her seat was all the way in the back and had a fairly crappy view, but she was fine with it. She couldn’t wait to see him. Hear him. It was the closest she’d allow herself. Keeping her head down, Savannah made her way to her seat and was thankful she didn’t see anyone she knew and she hadn’t missed Riley’s introduction.

  With her heart pounding in her chest, she couldn’t help but look around. Somewhere in this sea of almost eighteen thousand were her parents and the Shaughnessys. No doubt they were down near the stage, and part of her was envious.

  You could have been there too.

  If she were honest with herself, she could have been on the damn stage—or backstage. Either way, she could have been close to Riley. Close enough to see the smile on his face when the audience sang along or when they cheered for him. She could have been close enough to see the tears in his eyes when he sang one of his ballads.

  She could have been close enough to simply be close.

  The lights started to dim and she sat up a little straighter in her seat, her heart rate now at a point where she was seriously considering going to the first aid station. But once the stage lights came on and the crowd began to scream and jump to its feet, Savannah was right there with them. She stood and cursed her stubbornness. Cursed the fact that he was so far away, barely visible to her naked eye. It didn’t matter that there were giant screens showing her what he was doing. She wanted—needed—to see him.

  His opening song wasn’t one of his new ones—it was an upbeat rock song from his first album with the band. The crowd was going absolutely insane, and all around her Savannah heard cries of “I love you, Riley!”

  Yeah, join the club.

  As the song came to an end, Riley sauntered to center stage. Even at a distance she could see his swagger.

  “Good evening!” he called out to the crowd. “And welcome to the Hollywood Bowl!”

  The screaming of the crowd was almost painful to Savannah’s ears, but she forced herself not to lose focus.

  “It’s been quite the journey to get here,” he said. “In the past year, I had the pleasure of getting to know who I really was. I sat in the studio for hours when the music wouldn’t come and then I’d go home and sit in my house—and again, the music wouldn’t come. So when you’re faced with times like that, you don’t have much choice but to start examining your life.”

  “Marry me, Riley!”

  “We love you!”

  He smiled at the crowd. “I love you all, too!” he said and winked. A crew member appeared from off stage and brought out a stool and a guitar. He sat down and picked the instrument up and got himself comfortable. He strummed a few chords—nothing anyone would recognize—and waggled his eyebrows for a bit of comic relief.

  “I spent a lot of time with my family and pretty much made them crazy with my presence.” He chuckled. “I kind of put myself wherever I felt like being without really considering whether I was wanted there or not.”

  “You can live with me, Riley!”

  He smiled. “And then the most amazing thing happened,” he said dramatically. “I met someone who made me really look at my life. I thought it was what I’d been doing, but it didn’t take long to realize I was only looking at what I wanted to see. I didn’t see any of the bad stuff. I didn’t see any of the selfish stuff. I was pretty good at looking at life as if I was the perpetual good person and everyone else was bad.”

  He strummed the guitar a little more to break up the speech. The crowd was still yelling nonsense, but all Savannah heard was Riley and his music.

  “I was cocky. I was arrogant. And I figured everyone had to like me because…hey…I’m Riley Shaughnessy.”

  The crowd for some reason went even wilder at that statement and Savannah wanted to tell them all to shut up—to scream it. But she didn’t. Her hands were plastered to her chest, trying desperately to keep her heart from beating out of it.

  “It turns out I wasn’t very likable. At least not all the time.” He paused and looked out at the crowd as if searching for someone.

  Searching for her.

  “But this person—this incredibly amazing person—taught me to like myself again. And the thing is, she wasn’t even there to see the transition or to know how much she did for me.” A few more strums of the guitar. “Tomorrow, the new album hits the stores. Those of you here tonight will be the first ones able to purchase it on your way out.”

  The roar of the crowd was downright deafening at that news.

  “But this is the first single being released—you may grow tired of hearing it because I have a feeling it’s going to get a lot of airtime.” More strumming. “Anyway, here it is, the first song—‘Always You.’”

  It took about ten seconds for her to recognize the song—it was the one he had played back at Aidan and Zoe’s apartment after their explosive lovemaking. Tears welled in her eyes. All around her, people continued to scream and it was hard for her to hear the lyrics, but she could feel the emotion and wanted nothing more than to run down the aisle toward him and beg for his forgiveness.

  Instead, she stood—paralyzed—and forced herself to listen. She let the tears fall as he played every last note of every song off the new album. Savannah had no idea how long the concert lasted—she stopped paying attention to the time because all she could focus on was the sound of Riley’s voice.

  “I want to thank you all for coming,” Riley said to the crowd. “This has been an amazing night and I’m incredibly blessed and humbled to have so many of you here to share it with me. Good night.”

  The stage lights went down, but Savannah knew he’d come back for an encore. In her heart and in her mind, she wasn’t sure she could handle it. The sensible part of her told her to leave now. She’d beat the crowds and be out of here and home within an hour.

  But the not-so-sensible side begged her to stay.

  She owed it to him. Owed it to Riley to stay until the end. He’d accomplished what he wanted and even if she couldn’t be with him, she’d still be able to witness his victory from the back row.

  The crowd began to cheer and she looked up to see Riley striding across the stage toward the lone stool in the center of the stage. One light came on—he was all anyone could see. Clearing his throat, Riley reached out and grasped the mic.

  “Tonight was a very important night to me,” he said seriously. Gone was the jovial
performer of moments ago and in his place was simply a man with something important to say. “I’ve often heard people say that things come full circle, and for me, that happened tonight. Almost twenty-five years ago, I stood on a stage for the very first time. The crowd was much smaller,” he said and gave a small smile, “but to me it felt just like this. And out in that crowd were all the people I loved.”

  Savannah was thankful no one shouted anything—it was as if they all realized he was speaking from the heart.

  “Tonight, all those people are here—except one.”

  Her heart broke for him, and she heard the tremble in Riley’s voice and was certain everyone else did too.

  “So, for the first time in…oh…over twenty years, I’d like to share a song that is very near and dear to my heart. It’s the final song on the album. It’s for my mom and this was our song.”

  Gently, softly, Riley played a beautiful acoustic version of “Over the Rainbow.” If there was a dry eye in the house, Savannah would be surprised. When the last note faded, it was so quiet you could almost hear a pin drop, and then everyone was on their feet—screaming, applauding, cheering. But Riley didn’t speak. He took his bow. He waved to the audience. And he walked off stage.

  Savannah could barely see through the tears, but she made her way out of her row and practically ran through the crowd—up the stairs, through the marketplace area—until she was out in the parking lot. Her chest hurt, her breathing was ragged. Frantically, she looked from right to left trying to find the bus to take her back to her car. Lines were already forming and instead of waiting, she simply began to run again—out of the parking lot, out onto Highland Boulevard where she finally hailed a cab.

  By the time she was back at her car, she was starting to feel normal—whatever that was anymore. The traffic was snarled and the drive home took longer than she wanted, but when she was finally walking through her own front door, she felt as if she’d lived a dozen lifetimes.