Whiskey Dreams (Rebel Walking #7)
Page 6
“I’m sorry for losing it with you over and over. You don’t deserve that.” She pauses while I slice the skin off the fish. “I’m sorry we didn’t have more time before we found out about Luke being your friend. And I’m sorry that I have feelings for you that I can’t act on. I shouldn’t have feelings. I just met you.”
“That’s the thing about feelings. You don’t get to decide when you have them and when you don’t. That’s why your heart still hurts. I know you’re caught up in a mess, but I mean what I say. Don’t be sorry around me. I know what I’m getting into. I love spending time with you and I most likely will until you decide to go move.”
“Why couldn’t I have met you years ago?”
“Maybe you weren’t ready for me then.” She pushes off the wall and starts to walk away.
“You’re probably right.” I know I wasn’t ready for her. Hell, am I even ready for her now? It doesn’t matter. She’s going to leave. It’s just a matter of time before she does.
I finish cleaning the fish and spray everything down. Now I need another damn shower, but a thorough hand wash will have to do the trick. Walking into the kitchen, I hear her closing cabinet after cabinet.
“What are you looking for?”
“A bowl for this salad.” She sounds frustrated.
“Bottom cabinet to the right of the fridge.” I watch her as she bends to get the one in the very back. Fuck my life. She just does it for me. Like no other girl I’ve ever seen and it’s fucking frustrating that there are these complications making everything difficult and stressful. She’s full of life, when she actually allows herself to live it.
It’s as if the moment she thinks about her past, she freezes and stops any happiness from flowing through her body.
“Thanks. What else do you need me to do?” She pulls her hair into a messy bun and I lose my train of thought.
“Nothing. Just make the salad and I’ll handle the fish.” She already has all of the vegetables on the cutting board ready to chop and we move easily around each other in the kitchen.
“What do you think about going to Rosie’s tonight for Karaoke? That’s something I’ve never done and it might be fun to try it.”
“Sounds like fun.” I like that she’s not wanting to just sit around this cabin and fester in sadness. I already know this night will get awkward again. That’s what happens when two people have an itch that they haven’t been able to scratch.
Chapter Nine
KIMBER
Damn him for being so calm. Damn him for being so freaking fine and looking at me like that.
Talking to him is too easy. Dinner flew by and we laughed more than we ate. His smile kept drawing me in and I imagined his tongue exploring me at least a dozen times. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just let enough be enough with him. This push/pull crap is making me insane.
I stare at myself in the vanity mirror and wonder what I'm even doing. I'm supposed to be hurrying, yet I just keep curling my hair and talking to myself internally.
My mascara is thick tonight and my lips seem fuller than normal. Maybe that's because I keep staring at them thinking about his kiss. I can practically feel the warmth of his hands on my ass again. Why did I get up? That was the perfect chance to just let my tension out and feel him.
I glance at my phone and see missed calls from Luke, Holden, and Eaven. Is it sad that the last person I want to call from that list is Luke? It's not that I don't miss him and want to hear his voice. It's that I know I'll cry hearing it. I know I'll regret leaving like I did and wish I would've given him the chance to choose me.
I'm not stupid. I know he loves her; he never hid his feelings about her from me. He would've chosen her. She was pregnant with his baby for God’s sake. But I know Luke loved me in some way. I know he did.
The sound of footsteps on the wooden stairs coming up from the basement pull me out of my thoughts and I hurry to finish the back of my hair.
This dress probably shows off too much of my cleavage, but tonight I'm walking out of this room and considering myself single. Which I am. I'm not listening to the voice of my conscious that's telling me Greg would hate this dress. Or that Luke would hate if he found out what I'm thinking about his friend.
What happens, happens. I’ll leave tomorrow to start my new life. Tonight will be my right of passage. It's time to get rid of the old Kimber and become the new woman who needs to create a new life for herself. One who deserves a night with a man because she's highly attracted to him. A woman who for once in her life isn't thinking about what a man would think about her actions.
I feel as though I'm going to struggle with this, but right now with this curling iron in my hand this sounds like a great idea.
I hear his deep voice through the door. Is he singing? I turn my head, trying to get a better angle as I finish with the last curl. This man has me so curious and confused. He's like a giant ball of country gentleness and so easy to be around. He calms me, even though my mind has been chaos since the second I found out who he really was. When I'm around him I can take a deep breath and know that I'm going to be alright. My past life is just that and I should be looking forward to where I'm headed.
I step into my heels and bend to buckle the tiny straps on each of them. His voice is still a mumble coming through into the room.
I open the door and catch the last few words of him singing a country song. He stops when he sees me and I wish he wouldn't have. “Your voice is amazing. Why didn't you tell me you could sing?”
“Awe, it just never came up.”
“How in the world do you expect me to do karaoke with you when you sound like that?” He finally sees me fully. He turns to face me and just plants both of his feet on the ground, bowing his head like he’s frustrated.
“I guess just like you expect me to go with you while you look as fuckin’ hot as you do.” I look down at my black dress and smile back up at him.
“You don't look too bad yourself.” His arms are squeezed tight in his black shirt and his giant leg muscles show tightly in his blue jeans. His hair is messy and those eyes seem bluer than usual. My eyes are drawn to his lips again and I decide in this very moment, I'll be kissing those again tonight. I have to.
“I feel like I'm under dressed looking at you.” He looks down at his own clothes and I hate that I've made him feel less than perfect.
“No, you’re perfect.” So damn perfect. I've seen a lot of men in my life and I've never had one affect me like he does just from his looks. Let's not even mention his Southern voice and the softness he has about him. I wish like everything that I could've met him in a different way and that our paths hadn't crossed well before we knew they had.
“Well we’d better get over to Rosie’s and get our names in before all the spots have been taken. He turns away from me and runs his hand through his hair before he puts on a cowboy hat. I watch his back flex and move as he does, then I slowly move lower and find his nice tight ass. This guy just screams sex to me and I can’t stand that I constantly fight this pull to him.
“Can we just pretend tonight?” My words surprise even me. He turns around with a confused look and I bow my head hoping he doesn’t tell me no. I shouldn’t be doing this to him. Luke is his friend.
I hear his boots across the floor as he walks toward me and I close my eyes not wanting to see him look frustrated. The warm feel of his fingers below my chin as he raises my head to meet his eyes jolts straight through my body. He looks sad and I quickly regret saying anything. Things will just be awkward from here on out.
“I can’t pretend, but I can be real with you. If you have to pretend to make it work, then I’d be happy to give you the night.”
“I want us to pretend we’re not off limits. I want us to pretend that you’re not friends with the man that I’m still healing from. I want to pretend I’m not dying inside from the hurt I feel. I want us to act like we have forever to look forward to and time isn’t limited.” He looks at me with e
ven more sadness as I try to get my words out without tears. I fail tremendously as he wipes both of my eyes with his thumbs and pulls me toward him. He guides my face to his and kisses both of my cheeks slowly before he rests his forehead on mine.
“I wish like hell I had met you years ago.” We both remain silent as time passes. His hands slide down my arms so slowly, then back up. The surge of feeling he’s sending through my body takes over and I just can’t hold back another second.
I put my arms around his neck and stand on my tip toes to kiss him. He slips his hat off and tosses it behind me somewhere, then lets me explore him a few minutes before he finally pulls me closer and begins to move with me. Our kisses are strong and sensual and his grip on my ass makes it easy for me to lift my legs around his waist. He turns us around until my back is against the wall and places on arm against the wall beside me while his other hand begins to move slowly down my leg.
I continue kissing him and let his touch encourage me to take him even more passionately. I crave this. His touch is so gentle and just like everything I’ve always wanted to have in the past.
I grasp for his shirt, pulling it from under my legs. He lifts it off as I rest against the wall and watch him move. Our bodies are still together as my legs squeeze tighter around his waist. He smiles at me and I don’t have it in me to smile back. This is so wrong, but it feels so fucking good. I just watch the same hungry look flash across his face that I can feel inside.
“You’re damn sexy, Kimber.” His eyes never leave mine as he moves closer, putting his hand against the wall next to my face again. I take this opportunity to touch him. I let my hands slide over his arms and around his back as he moves toward me, letting our lips connect again. He’s agonizingly slow as he touches me with his tongue across my lips. His lips finally kiss mine for just a brief second before he begins to move across my cheek, then slowly down my neck. My nerves come alive as he moves across my skin.
I feel his hips move forward with a thrust, causing my back to slide up the wall and I release a moan in his ear. He responds with a very sexy exhale and I try not to let my mind imagine what he’ll sound like if we do have sex.
My dress has lifted and the fact that I’m not wearing any underwear just became obvious because he has moved his hand over my ass. I slip just slightly as he moves his other hand to my ass as well. He’s working to adjust his hips and all I can feel is his massive erection against my clit.
“Shit. Kimber. I need to know where you’re at.” I run my fingers up his neck and through his hair as I process where I am at exactly.
I’m in the arms of a man that I’ve been drawn to since the very second he walked into my life. I’m not thinking about anything except him and how he feels against me.
“I’m here, Aiden,” I whisper in his ear and make sure I say his name so he knows it’s him that I’m kissing and it’s him that I’m about to do so much more with, if he’ll have me.
The feel of his scruff slides across the right side of my face as he moves for my lips again. The thrust of his hips moves us both again and I slide my hands lower, trying to get his jeans off.
His grip tightens and he starts to walk with me around his waist. I continue kissing him and let my hands become familiar with his gorgeous body. His shoulders are very wide and muscular and it’s sexy to me that he’s letting me make all the moves and basically asking before he moves us any further. It’s a respect that I’m growing to love.
I can feel him kicking off his boots as he gets near the door to the master bedroom that I’ve been staying in. He smiles as he almost trips, getting the last one off and I just hold on and kiss his face while he struggles. He smells so good. His cologne is enough to make a girl want to wrap themselves around him, let alone his looks and great personality.
He stops when he’s next to the bed and we continue to kiss and consume each other. I wonder if he’s afraid to take it to the next level, because I truly don’t think there’s any going back from here.
“I’m about to make love to you Kimber. I’m about to show you how I do my best dancing, but I have to warn you. This is a slow dance. This is a long dance. And there’ll be times the rhythm will change before I bring you home for the final few moves.” I listen to his warnings and look forward to the dance more in this moment than I have in any since I met him.
“Aiden, please. Yes.” I don’t have any other words to describe what I’m feeling. Yes. Is the main word that keeps crossing through my mind with every new touch he gives me.
He slowly lowers me to my own feet, then takes my hand, twirling me around so that my back is to him. My dress shifts and covers part of my ass again.
He stands against me. My back is against his chest and his erection is practically bursting through his jeans. I can feel the length of him across one entire ass cheek, if not further. His arms slide over the front of my body for the first time. He begins kissing my neck and I rotate my head to give him better access.
He doesn’t stop at my chest at first, he seems to really love my ass. His grip on my hips is firm and he has to be imagining what we’ll be like together like I am, because I can hear his breathing quicken. “You’re gonna make this hard on me.” His deep grumble forces my exhale and I can’t hold back any longer. I want to feel more of him, so I slide one hand behind me and grip him through his jeans. I let my hand move over the full length and I lose all thought as I swear this is not going to fit.
“Oh shit.”
“I’ll be gentle. I won't give you anything you’re not asking for.” I’m not even a virgin. In fact, I’ve had my share of partners, but this is going to be insane. Luke was big, but this is another level of girth and length. I can’t wait.
He steps back away from me and I feel my zipper begin to slip down my lower back, followed by a light trail of kisses. The feel of his touch on my skin is addicting and I’m going to love this if he continues to take his time. He stands against me again and slides both his hands down my shoulders, taking my dress down with it. The low back on this dress left me without a bra, so the second the dress falls to my feet, I’m completely naked.
“Your skin is soft and these chills you’re feeling across your skin tell me you like what I’m doing to you. I can’t wait to watch you feel me all night long, Kimber.” His voice is right next to my ear and his hands are so close to my breasts.
I decide to let him make all the moves now. I’ve given him every sign that I’m ready for this now. My mind isn’t thinking about anything except trying to anticipate where his warmth will kiss me next. Please continue to touch me like this.
He takes both of my breasts in his large hands and somehow makes it seem sensual. So many times it's just hands squeezing boobs and this usually does nothing for me, but his slow maneuvering has me quivering, knowing at this rate I’m going to combust when he actually touches the me between my legs.
HIs fingers trace my nipples, then he circles each breast before he wraps his arm around me to turn me around. He lowers his head and begins kissing my cleavage before he runs his tongue over each breast. My senses go insane. I can feel every breath he takes against my skin and his scruff provides the perfect rough touch to compliment his soft lips. He’s like a whirlwind of calm circling my body and bringing new feelings to me even though I should’ve already experienced something like this. Truth is I haven’t.
He pulls me into his arms and returns to kissing my mouth like he’s trying to breathe me in and I react to him in the same way he is me. Before I know it, I’m around his waist again and he’s walking us across the room again. I stop kissing him while he pushes a few buttons on the stereo. I hear slow and sexy country come through the speakers and I don’t recognize the song, but that’s not unusual for me and country music. He places me on my feet again, then guides me into his chest while his arms continue brushing chills over my back. My arms move around his back, then slide to his buckle. It’s time for me to get to enjoy looking at his body like he has been mine.
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Chapter Ten
AIDEN
Holy shit. She’s going to make me crazy and I’ll ruin this night by making it about urgency. I want to rush through this and get to the part where we’re both laying on our backs, breathing heavy in perfect exhaustion. But that’s not how I roll. I take my time and this is one time in my life that I want to make it right.
She’s beautiful. Her softness against my tough skin is a perfect friction and I’m about to lose it all now that she’s working the zipper on my jeans. She slides her hand inside the zipper and guides my cock out and I swear he’s trying to snake his way straight for her. If she were to jump around my waist again, there’s no stopping it.
She lowers herself to her knees to move my jeans down my legs and takes my dick in her hand. She begins to put her mouth around it and I stop her. This is supposed to be about her. I can’t have her on her knees when I haven’t had the chance to make her scream my name a few times. Her mouth on me will be my ending.
“Let me take care of you.” Her words are a whisper around my cock. Fuck.
“You will. But let me first.” She wraps her gorgeous lips around my cock and takes me as deep as she can. I stop her head from going any deeper because just like that, I’m about to lose it.
“Lay on the bed. Let me taste you.” I guide her to her feet and watch her ass while she walks away from me.
I kick myself out of these jeans and follow her. I kneel beside the bed and slide her ass to the edge. She wraps her legs around my shoulders and I get my first taste of this woman that has had me going crazy non-stop since I met her. She was worth the wait.
“Aiden. I can’t.” Shit. I stop everything. I should’ve known this was a bad idea. She’s healing for fuck’s sake and here I am getting caught up in something that’s not truly available.
“Don’t stop. Please.”
“You can’t what?” I have to ask before I continue.