by A. P. Watson
Me: I did too. Thankfully, Friday is only a few days away.
The other text was from Jacks.
Jacks: Thanks for asking me to play last night. It feels good to be playing again.
Me: I’m glad, and I enjoyed every note.
A few seconds passed before those three dots popped up, but in less than a minute, I had another text from him.
Jacks: I’m glad you did. I guess I’ll have to play for Ford tonight while you’re at work.
Me: As long as you scratch his belly, I don’t think he’ll mind.
Jacks: True.
Me: And be sure to rub his ears too. He likes that.
Jacks: You know, in the months I’ve had him, I never noticed that.
I didn’t have to be standing in front of Jacks to know he was teasing me. It was almost as if I could hear his voice reading the message out loud.
Me: Ass.
Jacks: Every time you call me that, I take it as a term of endearment.
Me: You would.
Jacks: Well, I’m heading into a meeting, but if I don’t talk to you before you leave for work, I hope you have a good night.
Me: Thanks.
After sending my text, I pulled up Sean’s number and called him. Nestling the phone between my ear and shoulder, I waited for him to answer.
“Hey, cuz!” he exclaimed.
“Hey! Sorry I missed your call earlier.”
“I knew you’d be asleep, but I figured you would call whenever you woke up.”
“So, what’s up?”
“I just wanted to check on you. We haven’t talked since I told you I was bringing someone to Terayn and Ryan’s wedding.”
Feelings of guilt resurfaced whenever I thought about Ter and Ryan. They were my family and I spent years lying to them. I needed to smooth everything over with them sooner rather than later.
“That’s right, we haven’t.”
“Are you sure you’re still okay with me bringing another date? I can go as your date if you really want me to.”
“Don’t worry about it. I have someone going with me. Besides, I can’t wait to meet your date! You’ve never brought a girl to meet family before.”
“I know.”
“She must be special,” I added.
“She is.”
“Then I’m excited to meet her. What’s her name?”
“Emory.”
“That’s pretty.”
“I like it too.”
Ford and I crossed the street, turning to walk back toward the high-rise. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were smitten, cuz.”
“Maybe. Only time will tell.”
“I’ll be damned, Sean’s in love,” I teased.
“Yeah, yeah,” he replied dryly. “Well, I’m headed to class, but I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“I’m fine, but thanks for checking on me. And I’m happy for you!”
“Aren’t you dating someone new as well? Because that’s the word on the street.”
“We’re not discussing my love life.”
“And why not?”
“Because I know where to cut you to make sure you bleed out in under two minutes.”
“I just want you to be happy.”
“I know, and I appreciate your concern.”
“You’ll call if you need anything?” he asked.
“You know I will. Bye, cuz.”
“Bye, cuz.”
I ended the call, my fingers tightening around the device. Barely tugging on Ford’s leash, I raced ahead of him, sprinting back to the apartment. After making sure he had enough food and water, I strolled back to the guest bathroom to take a shower. When six o ‘clock rolled around, I gave Ford a kiss goodbye and locked the door to Jacks’s apartment.
When I stepped into the break room at work, Misty and Nate were waiting for me.
“There you are!” Nate said, springing out of the chair he’d been sitting in.
“Here I am.” I held my arms out as I neared him, my brows scrunching together in confusion. “Did I miss something?”
“We wanted to hear about you and Kenneth!” Misty cried, rising slowly. Her very pregnant belly protruded in front of her as she rubbed it absentmindedly.
“Oh. Well, we’ve only been out like four times, but he’s so sweet. I really enjoy spending time with him, and we’re supposed to be having another date this Friday,” I replied. “Aren’t you supposed to be on maternity leave? You look like you’re about to pop.”
“Tonight is my last night. I’m not dilated or anything, so the doctor wants to wait a few more days before inducing me.”
“Oh, okay. You better send Nate and I lots of pictures. We can’t wait to see that little one!”
“I will! And I’m so glad you had a great time with Kenneth. I knew the two of you would get along!”
“So, how did the party go?” Nate asked. “I hate I missed it. Believe me, I would’ve rather been there than this awful place.”
“We all missed you there,” I added, shooting him a dramatic look while Misty’s back was turned.
Picking up on my signal, Nate moved to stand beside Misty. “Hey, hon. Would you care to tell Sonia not to give me twenty-six again tonight? He was a handful every night last weekend, and I’m so over it.”
“Yeah, of course!”
“Thank you!” Nate called out, closing the door behind her. Spinning to face me, he crossed his arms. “Okay, what’s up?”
“The engagement party started out great and ended in disaster.”
“I’m sorry! I know how hard you worked on it!” He flung his arm around my waist, hugging my body to his. “What happened?”
“So much. Like, to tell you about it, we’d need at least three bottles of tequila.”
“Fuck.”
“Yep.”
“And how are things between you and Jackson? I know the two of you planned everything together.”
“We’re friends again, practically like we were before everything happened last fall.”
“Well, that’s good, right?” he questioned. “You guys were best friends.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“But what?”
I stowed my belongings in my locker and slid my stethoscope around my neck. Loading up my pockets with pens, alcohol swabs, and mints, I sighed and then turned to face him. “I’m scared.”
“Of?”
“History repeating itself. I want to be friends again, I want things to be like they were. But on the other hand, I keep thinking, ‘Bitch, you’ve been down this road before, and it led you here.’”
“It’s natural to be scared.”
“But will the feeling ever subside? Will I ever forget?”
“It’s impossible to forget, but not to forgive.”
“So, you’re saying I should forgive him?”
Nate ran a hand through his blue-streaked hair. “Do you think you can?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. There are things about that night I didn’t know until recently.”
“Like what?”
“Jacks didn’t know his promotion had been changed until a few days before the party. The CEO of the company added in a stipulation that he had to move to New York. And he was going to ask me to move with him.”
“Why didn’t he?” Nate was hanging on to every word, waiting for me to finish.
“Because his ex convinced him that I would say no. When he asked her to move in a few years ago, she turned him down and ended their relationship. So at the party, she fucked with his head and convinced him I’d say the same thing.”
“That dirty bitch!”
“And she was the first person he opened up to after his parents died. When she screwed him over, he was devastated.”
“Damn.”
“I can sympathize with him. It’s hard to be vulnerable and allow yourself to open up to people. But I gave Liam another chance. I worked while he did nothing, and the thanks I got was walking in on h
im screwing his ex. You’d think that would be enough, but nope, he decided to leave me in a load of debt too. I gave him a second chance to get a job and get his act together, and he fucked me over.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I swore to myself I’d never give any man a second chance again. I can’t stand the thought of wasting any more of my time or my life with someone like that.”
“But just because Liam did it, doesn’t mean Jackson will.”
“I can’t take the risk. If it did happen again . . . it would break me,” I breathed.
And those were the words I’d been afraid to utter. When Jacks and I began talking again, he thought I hated him. But I didn’t. I feared what he gave me. He made me believe I deserved to be loved and cherished. Then, as soon as I thought I had something real, he ripped it away. There was never a guarantee it wouldn’t happen again. There were only promises, and those were broken all the time.
“I’m sorry, wifey.” His arm rounded my shoulder as he led us out of the break room. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m a man and I’d never screw you over.”
“You’d also never screw me either,” I quipped.
“The devil’s always in the details, isn’t he?”
“Hell yes.”
Call bells sounded as we approached the nurses’ station. When I glanced at the bed board, I saw that two new patients were on their way to the unit. One had a head bleed; the other, a drug overdose.
“We’re both going to be admitting. Which one do you want?” Nate asked.
“I’ll take the overdose.”
“You sure? Sonia said the nursing supervisor thought that one would be a handful.”
“Positive. I could use the distraction.”
“Alright. I’ll help you with yours if you help me with mine.”
“Deal!”
I talked to the ER nurse and got an update on the new patient that was coming, but nothing could have prepared me for the mess that rolled through our doors.
“Set up suction! He’s puking blood!” the ER nurse shouted as she pushed his stretcher toward the assigned room.
Nate sprang into action, making sure everything was hooked up. We transferred the patient over to the bed and began wiping the blood from his skin. Misty hooked up his heart monitor while I grabbed a nasogastric tube.
“What prompted the bleeding?” I asked, ripping open the packaging holding the tube.
“He has a history of bleeding stomach ulcers, so that’s what we’re assuming.”
“When did the bleeding start?” Nate inquired, cutting off remnants of the man’s shirt.
“Right before we got here.”
Nate helped me run the tube through the patient’s nose and down the back of his throat. He bucked, but we held him steady. Once we confirmed the tube was in his stomach, we taped it in place and turned on the suction. Bright red liquid shot through the tubing, colleting in the canister attached to the wall.
“Misty, call phlebotomy and ask them to come do a blood draw on him right now,” I ordered.
She nodded. “On it. I’ll page the critical care doctor too.”
Nate hooked up fluids to the patient’s IV while I continued to clean him up. His blood pressure was already low, and now, it was starting to drop.
We worked our fingers to the bones while we tried to stabilize my patient. He ended up getting a blood transfusion and several bags of IV fluids. The large amount of meth he’d taken made him wild as hell. After he ripped out two IVs, we were forced to put him in wrist restraints. The restraints also prevented him from attempting to remove the nasogastric tube. Ripping it out would have been a godawful bloody mess. This man was already sick enough without trying to negate all our interventions. Even though we kept pumping blood into him, more continued to come out through the tube. By my last night of work for the week, the man had finally started to improve. I was glad we had made progress with him, but it had been a long couple of days, and I was completely spent.
My feet ached as I stripped out of my clothes and climbed in the shower. Jacks had already left for work. I hadn’t seen him since he played for me. Truthfully, after everything I’d confessed to Nate the other night, I was nervous to see Jacks again. My will was never my own whenever I was around him. And it was dangerous. After shrugging on a pair of pajamas, I plugged my phone into the charger and called for Ford. He’d barely had time to curl up beside me when I passed out.
I woke up at five feeling as if I hadn’t rested at all. Tension snaked around every muscle in my body. If I didn’t find some way to release all this pent-up energy, combustion was inevitable. There was only one solution: I needed to dance. I quickly changed into a pair of pole shorts and a top. I placed my heels in my bag and then covered my skimpy outfit with a pair of sweat pants and a long-sleeved shirt. With Ford in tow, I headed to the kitchen to make some dinner before leaving for the studio.
Jacks walked in as I poured the cooked noodles into a colander.
“That smells good,” he said. He laid his jacket and tie on the back of the couch.
“It’s ready. I hope you’re hungry.”
“Starving.”
I placed a pile of noodles and sauce on two different plates, handing one to him. We sat at the table together with identical glasses of water and plates of food.
“How was your day?”
“Good. And yours?”
“It was okay. Just slept mostly.”
He took a bite of food, his attention shifting to me. “Are you going somewhere?” he asked, noting my attire and the bag sitting on the floor next to the island.
“I’m going to the studio for a while after we eat. Work was pretty hectic the last few nights, so I just need to unwind.”
“Dancing usually works for you.”
“Yeah. Let’s hope that doesn’t change tonight,” I replied with a half-hearted laugh.
“I’m sure it won’t”
We finished the rest of our meal and cleaned the kitchen without much conversation. Uncertainty seemed to be hanging over our heads like a dark cloud. I knew I needed to patch things up with Ter and go home, but a tiny part of me wanted to stay. Living in this apartment and cooking dinner for Jacks should’ve been my life. Was I a horrible person for wanting a little taste of what could’ve been? I’d rather know what I was missing because that would make it easier to remember how it had been taken away from me.
When I opened the door of the studio, serenity filled my veins. This was my happy place, my place for reprieve, and I couldn’t wait to slide on a pair of heels and let everything else fall away.
“Hey!” I said to Sasha.
“Oh, hey!” she answered. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“It’s been a really, really intense week. I’m so glad to be here though. I need to de-stress and just dance it out.” I adjusted the strap of my gym bag and leaned against the front desk. “How are you? Have you had any dates with Robbie lately?”
“Not great. I’m actually cancelling classes tonight. I’ve had a horrible sinus headache all day.”
“I’m so sorry! That sucks.”
“Yeah. But Robbie is going to come over to my place and help take care of me.” For a fleeting second, her cheeks flushed.
“I bet he is.”
“He’s a nice guy. Did I tell you that he asked me to be his date to Terayn and Ryan’s wedding?”
“No! But that’s amazing!”
“I’m pretty excited. I really like him.”
“I’m so happy for you.”
A couple of girls exited the studio, waving to Sasha and me as they slipped out the glass door.
“Thanks. Listen, I have a proposition for you. I know working nights means your schedule is crazy, but I’ve been meaning to ask if you would help me teach some of my beginner classes. I’ve had twenty new students sign up for a class this week, so I could really use the help.”
“Yeah, I’d love to! Just let me know what days you ne
ed me to teach, and I’ll make my work schedule around it.”
She gave me a quick hug. “Thank you so much! You’re a lifesaver.”
“It’s no problem at all.”
“Oh, and there is another thing.”
“Okay.”
She handed me a silver key. “This is the key to the studio. I’ve been meaning to give you one for a few weeks. I know your sleep habits keep you awake until four in the morning some nights, so I thought you might like to be able to come to the studio and dance.”
“Thank you! I appreciate that so much! Living with Ter and Ryan means there isn’t enough room for a pole at home, and it will be so nice to escape here whenever I need to.”
“I’m glad,” she replied, smiling. “Text me which days you’re working next week, and I’ll get everything set up for you to teach!”
“Thanks, Sasha. Now go home and let Robbie take care of you!”
She laughed. “Will do.”
With a final hug and wave, I watched as she exited the studio. I was completely alone now. The rest of the students left just before Sasha. I set my bag on the floor next to the wall and peeled off my sweats. As I fastened the straps of my heels, my muscles began to twitch. The desire to move flowed through my body, and as soon as I started playing some music, escape was inevitable.
I danced for half an hour straight, contorting my body into different poses. I climbed, rolled, and spun to my heart’s content, all my problems dissolving into nothingness. As I continued to slink across the floor, my mind cleared. The thoughts plaguing my consciousness since Monday night ceased to exist. I had just begun working on some choreography for the upcoming recital when I heard the bell on the door chime.
I glanced in the direction of the sound, only to see Ter entering the studio. I stood, completely stunned that she was actually here.
“Hey,” I said.
She moved over to where I stood. “Hey.”
“I’m really sorry,” I blurted out.
She smiled, opening up her arms to give me a hug. “I know.”
My arms curled around her, and I sighed a breath of relief. I knew we would eventually patch things up, but we hadn’t gone more than a day without speaking to one another since we were six years old. She was like my sister, and not being able to confide in her didn’t feel right.