by A. P. Watson
“Fucking asshole,” Jacks muttered, the muscle in his jaw ticking. “You would never do something like that.”
“And that’s what I told him, but he still didn’t believe me! He basically said that because I was a stripper, because I used to grind on top of strangers’ dicks, it wasn’t a far fetch to assume I’d spread my legs for you.”
Something similar to a growl escaped Jacks’s throat. “Being a stripper doesn’t have anything to do with who you are as a person. You’re honest and beautiful and the most caring human being I’ve ever met. Stripping was your job, it was how you survived, and it in no way means you’re a whore.”
“It was a job, and I was really fucking good at it, but I would never do the things Kenneth or Henry accused me of doing. I danced naked. I wasn’t sucking cock in the parking lot for extra cash.”
He drew my hands to his lips, lightly kissing my knuckles. “Even if you did, no one has the right to judge you for it,” he whispered.
“Thank you.” I inched closer, following the tether that connected his heart and mine. “You are the only person I actually felt comfortable talking to about how I used to be a stripper. Sure, I was nervous, but I wanted you to know that part of me so badly, and then the way you treated me after,” I breathed. “You thought all the things I hid about myself deserved to be admired.”
“That’s because they do.”
I sighed deeply, his words like music to my ears. “I appreciate you saying that.”
“I mean every word.” The tips of his fingers cascaded down the side of my face.
“I need to ask you something that has been eating away at me for months.”
“Okay.”
I sucked in a deep breath, preparing myself to rip out the remaining stitches holding together my wounds. Only one man could heal those gaping holes, and it was time for me to let him. “If you were happy with me, then why did you kiss Elise? Why did you even entertain the idea of being with her if I was enough?”
I’d been passed over for another woman before. It planted a seed of doubt which festered into every aspect of my life. When a man whispers things in your ear, knowing every word is a lie, knowing he’ll leave to fuck his ex at the first chance he gets, it makes you question your own worth. I was Liam’s trash, so why would another man ever view me as anything different?
“I kissed her because it was safe. It was safer than acknowledging the feelings I had for you. I mean, I was ready to ask you to move across the country with me, and I realized there was a possibility you would say no. That realization made me doubt what we had, and for a split second, I thought if I pushed you away, it wouldn’t hurt as much. But when I kissed her, it was a confirmation of what I already knew, what I felt.” He pressed his forehead to mine, staring into my eyes. “After my parents died, I was lost for a really long time. And when I met Elise, she helped fill the void their absence left. I trusted her, cared for her, and I thought she felt the same way about me, but she didn’t. She was just using me. When I realized what she was doing, I was angry with everyone and everything. I compartmentalized my life into sections because I thought it would be easier. I formed relationships that held absolutely no meaning to me, but you pulled me out of that hell.” His mouth rested mere breaths from mine, holding my undivided attention. “The world could end tomorrow and it wouldn’t matter, because I’ll always come crawling back to you. You’re it for me.”
His confession gripped my heart and refused to let go. He’d known so much pain, felt so much loss, and I couldn’t even begin to imagine how terrifying it was for him to open up to another person. A single tear fell down my cheek. “I’m sorry she hurt you.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me when I hurt you.”
“Jacks,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
“You told me once you wanted to be something to someone,” he said.
“I did.”
His thumb caressed my cheek, wiping away the stain my tear left behind. “You’re not just something to me . . . you’re everything.”
“You told me you loved me once before, and at the time, I didn’t want to listen. But now, it’s the only thing I want to hear.”
“I love you.” Warm breath fanned across my lips, intensifying my need to kiss him.
His admission was everything to me. “I love you too.”
Happiness poured through his features, lighting up his dark eyes. But elation quickly gave way to urgency. His lips crashed into mine, claiming a piece of my soul that already belonged to him. Strong fingers caught in my hair, drawing me as close as possible. Mouths connected, arms intertwined, there was no better feeling in the entire world. Every choice I made, every step I took, led me to Jacks. Our lips opened, allowing us to taste one another. We were lost in a frenzy, only stopping to come up for air.
“Can I show you something?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I breathlessly replied.
His hand wrapped around mine, refusing to let go. “Something was delivered while you were gone, and I want you to see it.”
“Okay.”
I followed as he led me through his apartment. When we reached his bedroom, he finally stopped. My heart thrashed against my ribcage, desperately fighting for freedom. We’d faced our fears and admitted our feelings. I was on such a high, I doubted I’d ever come down. Whatever he wanted to show me, I couldn’t wait to see it.
When I pushed the door to his room open, it took me a moment to realize what he’d been talking about.
A painting hung directly over his bed. In it, a woman with fair skin and vibrant red hair stood on the edge of a cliff, staring at the writhing sea beneath her feet. Green, blue, and black painted every facet of the world except for the woman. She was a single beacon of light in an ever-growing darkness. “What do you think?” he asked.
I stepped forward, touching my hand to the canvas. Usually, I didn’t experience art on the same level Ter did, but this image called out to me like a siren at sea. My fingertips caressed the paint tenderly. “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful yet so melancholy.”
“Terayn painted it for me.”
“She did?”
“After you walked away from me that night, I didn’t know how to cope. I was miserable and desperate to have a small piece of you. So, I asked her to paint your world, because I figured if I couldn’t live in your world, at least I could see it every day. But looking at this canvas now, I think she ended up painting mine.”
“How so?
“You’re my single ray of light in an otherwise dark abyss.”
“Why did you want a painting of my world?”
“To remind myself of everything I let slip away.”
I stepped toward him, sliding my fingers over his shoulders. I pushed the leather jacket down until it fell into a pile on the floor. “But I didn’t slip away. I’m right here, and so are you.”
His responding grin was so enticing that I thought my skin would surely catch fire. In a fraction of a second, Jacks was holding me, and my legs quickly fastened around his middle. He stumbled toward the bed, gently setting me on top of the soft mattress. Dropping to his knees before me, he removed my shoes and socks. His fingers lingered over my skin, tracing soft circles into my flesh. When he finally stood, he stepped out of his boots, ripping off his socks. The look he gave me said it all. His eyes burned with desire, and I knew he would devour every part of me.
As soon as he was close enough, I reached out, jerking him on top of me. Our mouths met instantly, moving together in utter harmony.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he said with a sigh. His lips trailed down the length of my neck, lightly kissing and sucking.
“Probably as long as I have.” My hands grasped his shirt, yanking it off until his bare skin was on display for my viewing. My sweater and bra followed his shirt, and then he climbed over me, touching our flesh together. The combination of our bodies felt perfect, like I’d come home, and I never wanted it to end
. I leaned forward, claiming the inside of his mouth with my tongue. We kissed for a while, losing ourselves completely. We didn’t need to rush this. Jacks and I spent so long wanting each other, and after all these months, we wanted to take our time.
His tongue slid down my leg as he slowly removed my jeans. Every inch of my body was caressed and worshipped. When he finished, he crawled on top of me and began trailing kisses from my hips all the way down. Breath warmed my flesh as his lips pressed between my legs. A moan slipped out of my mouth, the sound like pure ecstasy. Then his fingers seized my panties, ripping through the thin lace. The sting of it was intoxicating, and I begged for more.
“I’ve thought about tasting you and having you at least a million times every single day.” I watched as he lowered his head to lick my most sensitive spot. “Fuck, you taste even better than I remembered.” The combination of his tongue and fingers stroking me in unison made me cry for more. And Jacks, being the perfect gentleman he was, catered to my request. He tasted me until all my muscles were writhing beneath him in delicious agony.
“Jacks?” My question came out half moan and half plea. The desperation to have him inside me consumed each thought swirling inside my brain.
“Yeah?”
“I need to feel you inside me,” I breathed.
My plea elicited a wicked grin from him. “Whatever you need.”
I watched his pants and boxers slide down his legs. The hard lines of his muscles were now on full display for my viewing. As my gaze slipped over him, lust quickened the pace of my heart, threatening to tear it from my chest. When we were finally free of our clothes, we took a moment to simply stare at one another. It’d been so long since we were together like this and I wanted to savor every second.
“God, you’re beautiful.” Jacks’s eyes moved over my form, his gaze like a soft caress.
I opened my mouth to speak, but my reply was cut short. Jacks moved over me, joining his body with mine. The sensation of him sliding inside of me was so powerful that it radiated throughout my entire being, shooting through the tips of my fingers.
“Oh my God, Jacks,” I cried.
His lips brushed against mine, lightly nipping. I lifted my head and kissed him, my senses completely overloaded. He started slow, his hips moving at a leisurely pace that nearly undid me. I arched my back as he thrust into me, shoving my breasts into his chest. Sweat glistened on his brow as he rocked into me over and over again. Wanting to deepen our position, Jacks lifted my leg to rest on top of his shoulder. The new angle intensified everything in the best way possible. And with each roll of his hips, I could tell he was stretching my body to fit his.
“You feel incredible.” The words spilled from his lips, his face the embodiment of pure, indescribable pleasure.
“Trust me, you feel better.”
His teeth grazed the line of my jaw. “Not possible, chipmunk.”
In the entirety of my life, I’ve never felt so cherished. Jacks loved and adored me, and the thought pushed me closer to the edge. Pressure built deep inside, the feeling multiplying with each movement he made.
“Jacks . . .”
He leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” I gasped, my fingernails digging into his back. I wanted him closer, needing to feel every part of him. “You can go harder if you want.”
He chuckled into my ear, his voice soft and smooth. “I’ll gladly fuck you later, but right now, I’m going to keep making love to you.”
Pleasure hummed through my flesh like electricity as he pushed deeper, causing me to moan. “Oh, fuck.” My breathing quickened, my need for air increasing with each passing moment. “Please don’t stop.”
My other leg wrapped around his, fusing our bodies completely together. Each time his hips rocked into me took me higher. Euphoria simmered in my veins and rapidly escalated. I could hear Jacks’s breathing growing ragged as we continued. The only thing I could comprehend was him. Pure bliss rained over my flesh, shoving my mind over the edge.
“Are you almost there?” His tongue stroked my skin as he nibbled on my ear.
“Yeah.” My reply was mostly breath, the sound of my voice fading as soon as I opened my lips. “So close.”
Every muscle in my body tensed, my orgasm imminent. Jacks thrust into me once more, igniting my release. Wave after wave of pleasure spread across my flesh. It seemed impossible for something so wonderful to exist, but as my body shook in ecstasy, I reveled in the feeling. I all but screamed out his name when he pushed inside of me a final time.
Jacks stilled above me as he found his own release. “Fuck.” The word dripped from his mouth like an easy prayer. Then he collapsed, his arms sliding around to cradle me.
“That is, without a doubt, the best I’ve ever felt in my life,” I stated with a sigh.
“I was just thinking the same thing.”
I set my cheek on his chest, my arms holding on to him. “I never want to leave this bed.”
Jacks glanced at me, grinning deviously. “I can make that happen.”
“Please do.” I lifted my head and pressed a light kiss to his lips. “And make sure you rest up, because next time, I’ll be the one tasting you.”
“That sounds really fucking good to me.”
“I love you.”
“And I love you.”
chapter twenty-two
between you and me
I WOKE UP THE following morning in Jacks’s bed, snuggled between him and Ford. I quickly scratched behind Ford’s ears before bending to kiss Jacks’s forehead. He was still sound asleep, and I didn’t have the heart to wake him.
After losing his family, Jacks was afraid he would be left by anyone he allowed himself to love. I never wanted him to question my intentions again, so after I got ready, I left a short note on the counter explaining where I had gone.
I hopped in Harlow, driving to the townhouse as fast as I could. When I stepped inside, Ter and Ryan were sitting at the kitchen island, eating breakfast.
“Hey, babe!” she called out, turning toward the door.
“Hey!” I hurried through the living room, my purse firmly grasped in my hands. “Ter, my room. Now.”
She and Ryan exchanged a pointed look before she followed me into my room and shut the door.
“What’s up?”
“I ended things with Kenneth last night.”
“And?”
“He turned into a complete asshole.”
“What?”
“Yeah, he accused me of sleeping with Jacks behind his back, and then he justified it because I used to be a stripper. It was a fucking mess.”
“That fucker!”
“Yeah. I tried to tell him that Jacks and I never cheated or anything, but he didn’t believe me. And he knew everything Liam did to me too.”
“What a jerk! He was just jealous of Jacks because he knew he could never compete with him.”
“Yeah, I agree,” I said. “But after I talked to him, I went back to Jacks’s apartment and we talked about everything. And when I say we talked about everything, I mean everything.”
“So, it went good?”
“It went fucking spectacular!” I shouted. “Oh my God, Ter. I thought I was going to melt into a puddle at his feet after hearing some of the things he said to me.”
Ter squealed so loudly my eardrums threated to burst. “And then what happened?”
“He told me he loved me, and I said I loved him too. It was absolutely perfect.”
“And then you made sweet, passionate love, didn’t you?”
I bit my lip, fighting a smile. “We did that a couple of times.”
“Thank you, Jesus!” she shouted, flinging her arms around me. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long!”
“There’s more.”
“Tell me!”
“I need you to help me pack up most of my clothes and shoes.”
“Okay. Why?”
“Jacks wa
s going to ask me to move to New York with him, but he was afraid I’d say no, so he wound up never asking me. Well, I’m going to make sure that never happens again. I’m going to move into his place.”
If I thought Ter had been loud before, she outdid herself. “He is going to love that!” she yelled. “I’m so fucking excited! I feel like I might explode.”
A second later, the door to my room flung open to reveal Ryan standing in the open frame. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Of course we are!” Ter cried.
“Well, I heard a lot of screaming.”
“We’re wonderful,” I replied, smiling. “I ended things with Kenneth last night, and now Jacks and I are together.”
“You’re serious?” Ryan asked, his mouth curving into a grin.
“I know it’s taken us a long time, but we finally got everything figured out.”
“And you’re both happy?”
“We’re really happy.”
“I knew it!” Ryan lunged inside my room, wrapping his arms around Ter and me. “I knew it when I saw the two of you dancing at our wedding. You can’t fake something like that.”
“Thanks for being there for me through all of this. I really appreciate it.”
“That’s what we’re here for,” Ryan replied.
“Ditto, babe,” Ter added.
“So, what are the two of you doing in here?” Ryan’s attention fixated on the open suitcase Ter and I were shoving clothes inside of.
“I’m moving all my stuff to Jacks’s place.”
Ryan’s arms crossed over his chest as he grinned from ear to ear. “He’ll love that.”
“I hope so.”
“Let me grab one of our suitcases. You’ll be able to pack more stuff.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Thanks.”
The three of us worked quickly, tossing clothes and heels inside both suitcases. It was nowhere close to holding all of my possessions, but it was a start. And it was enough for Jacks to see how serious I was about us.
I hugged Ter and Ryan a final time before leaving. I was lucky to have such good friends, but I was also ready to see Jacks again. After spending so much time apart and then having to keep our distance, all I wanted was to be near him.