Return to Roseglen

by Helene Young

  Ivy laughed and it felt good. She and the Lathers hadn’t seen eye to eye since she’d told their teenage son off for kicking the back of her pew. Perhaps she could have been more diplomatic. ‘All right, then, but drive around the back. I don’t feel like facing those front stairs at the moment.’

  ‘Of course, love. I’ll see you at eight-thirty.’

  They rang off and the tension leached from Ivy’s body, taking the rush of adrenaline with it. She stretched out her fingers, the arthritis burning in the joints. She was weary, beyond tired, and she raised her face to the heavens.

  ‘Dear Lord, I’m ready to come home. Anytime soon is fine with me.’

  The silence mocked her.

  ‘Yes, you’re definitely booked for the same flight next week, Brisbane to Cairns, Mrs Sharman. I do apologise again that the last flight tonight isn’t suitable for you.’ The woman at the service counter pushed a piece of paper towards Felicity. ‘And thank you for your patience.’ Her smile was definitely slipping, like her mascara.

  Felicity shrugged. ‘No dramas. If the aircraft’s broken, there’s not much you can do about it.’

  ‘I wish everyone saw it that way,’ the woman replied with a grimace.

  As Felicity wheeled her carry-on bag back to the car park, relief warred with guilt. After a hectic week nursing in the emergency department of the Mater Private Hospital she really hadn’t felt like flying for two hours to Cairns and then driving for three hours up the range to see her mum. Next week would be fine. Nothing was going to change between now and then.

  Ivy still had Ken nearby, and Mitch would drop in from next door to check on his cattle. Apparently he made a stellar cup of tea. As a young girl Felicity had never questioned why Mitch spent so much time at their house after his mum died. They’d catch the school bus together and do their homework at Roseglen before Charlie drove Mitch home. Sometimes he’d stay for dinner. Every happy memory from her teens seemed to have Mitch lurking somewhere in the background like an extra brother. Except there was nothing brotherly about those kisses in her last summer holidays before she left to study nursing.

  She reached the car and slung the bag on the passenger seat with a touch too much force. If she wasn’t going north, she’d better work her way through some chores. Maybe she could surprise Todd with a candlelit dinner. Sean, in the first flush of new love, was ‘glamping’ on Fraser Island with his girlfriend, Mandy. Perhaps this was a sign. Maybe she could rekindle things with her husband while the nest was empty. Although, after his terse complaint this morning about her visiting her mother again, she wasn’t sure she even wanted to see him right now.

  She could barely remember the last time they’d had sex; it had been so forgettable. There was no longer that fluttery feeling low in her belly when her equally middle-aged husband slumped into bed. Thirty years of marriage and two kids. Familiarity bred boredom. Contempt, even. She pulled out of the car park and turned into the road towards home. Plus the mortgage that never seemed to get any smaller, despite her pulling double shifts at the hospital, would put a dampener on anyone’s libido.

  She had no idea where the money went, but Todd brushed her concerns aside. ‘You’ll give yourself an ulcer,’ he’d say. ‘I’ve got this. Don’t you trust me?’

  She was never quite sure how to answer that. He’d broken her trust, when the kids were both young. And, while they might have weathered that storm, any time she questioned him Todd accused her of dredging up the past like an old shrew.

  But the future was her bigger concern. Being prudent. ‘No such thing as a free ride, Lissie,’ her mother used to say. ‘Don’t rely on anyone.’ Ivy had famously made Georgina pay for several reverse charge phone calls when she’d first travelled overseas after finishing school.

  Felicity scrubbed her gritty eyes. She couldn’t stifle another yawn as she turned into her street, past the new mansions, towards the ‘worst house on the best street’. Todd’s mantra had worn her down when they’d bought this place.

  There’d been nothing wrong with their modest home on a tidy block on the south side of the city, but Todd wanted to move up in the world. So five years ago they’d mortgaged their souls and moved into a house in a leafy Ascot street, with an amazing pool and a great deal of work to do. Somehow the work was never done and the pool felt like a water feature she was forever vacuuming. And she hated the thirty-minute drive through city traffic to get to work, compared to walking three blocks up a quiet street. The upside was a short drive to the airport, and a pool she could float in for hours at a time – except there were never enough hours in a day for that luxury. They weren’t really close to any of the neighbours, either. It felt like a revolving door lately, as marriages crumbled and kids left home. There was a whole new cast in the street since they moved in.

  She frowned, slowing down. Why was Todd’s car still in the drive? He should be at work. Her heart skipped. Something must be wrong. Parking behind his four-wheel drive, she hurried from the car. The front door was locked and she searched through her bag for the keys.

  ‘Todd?’ she called as she entered. The breakfast dishes were scattered over the sink, the light on the coffee machine blinking to say it was low on water. An open champagne bottle on the granite counter sat in a pool of condensation. Champagne? For breakfast? She scanned the kitchen again before movement outside on the pool deck caught her attention.

  It took a few seconds for her to work out what she was seeing. Two naked bodies, one of them her husband’s. A kaleidoscope of emotions whirled through her. Disbelief, revulsion, fury. Humiliation. The rattling keys in her hand broke her stupor and heat torched through her.

  She fled back out the front, wrenched open her car door and fell into the driver’s seat. Her stomach heaved and her fingers were clumsy as she tried to dial Paula. When her friend finally answered, Felicity’s words fell over themselves as tears slid down her cheeks.

  ‘Lissie! Slow down and breathe,’ Paula said. ‘I can’t understand you!’

  ‘All right, all right.’ Felicity leaned her forehead on the steering wheel.

  ‘Start again,’ Paula asked. ‘He’s doing what with the girl from next door?’

  ‘I think they’re having sex by my pool. On a sun lounge.’

  ‘And you didn’t confront them?’

  ‘No. I was too shocked. I’m so embarrassed.’

  ‘Embarrassed?’ Paula’s voice squeaked. ‘Get a grip, Lissie. Are you sure they’re not just mucking around? Wrestling or something?’

  Felicity sat up. ‘I’m sure.’ She shut her eyes, but the image was tattooed on her retinas.

  ‘Lissie, this is your chance. You march back in there with your phone held high and snap off some quick photos.’

  ‘I can’t.’ Panic made her sweat.

  ‘You can. You have to.’

  ‘What the hell do I say to Misty?’

  ‘Her name is Misty?’ Paula laughed. ‘Sorry. Just do it, Lissie. Be brave. You’re the wronged party here.’

  ‘Right. Just storm in and take photos and send him packing.’

  ‘That’s it.’

  ‘Thanks, Paula.’ She felt a little steadier, the flash of fury she’d felt earlier flickering back to life, her resolve strengthening.

  ‘Any time, honey. I’m so sorry this has happened to you, but he’s had this coming for years.’

  Felicity squirmed. ‘They cancelled my flight. Otherwise I’d never have known.’

  ‘Then go get him. This is a sign.’

  Felicity pushed open her car door. Could she really do this? She hated confrontation with a passion. She was a carer, the peacemaker in the family.

  The stairs felt like a moving walkway and the open front door loomed ahead. Her phone was slippery in her grip.

  She made it to the kitchen, her throat tight. Reluctantly she looked out at the poolside.

  A naked Misty was on top, hair hanging down her back like a glossy curtain, thighs taut. Todd’s familiar hands with their smatterin
g of hair held her slim hips. Felicity was glad she couldn’t see his face. She raised the phone, willing her hand to stay steady as she tried to press the button. She heard a series of clicks before the burn in her eyes turned into tears. Theirs may not have been the perfect marriage, but it shouldn’t have come to this.

  She hurried outside again and back into her car, tears dripping off her chin, not bothering to see if the photos had worked. She took several deep breaths as she dialled Todd’s mobile. It went to message bank three times. Typical. Once more. She tried again.

  ‘Hello, darling. That was a quick flight.’ Her husband sounded puffed. Surprise, surprise.

  ‘Aircraft broke down, I’m afraid.’ Her voice was strained and she cleared her throat. ‘I’m home tonight after all. Any requests for dinner? I’m just at the shops so I can pick something up.’ Where was this bravado coming from?

  His pause was a beat too long. ‘Home tonight? That’s nice. Anything will be fine for dinner. You know me. Something simple.’ He was babbling.

  ‘Okay. You have a good morning at work. I’ll be home in ten. See you later.’ She hung up before he could reply.

  It didn’t take long for Misty to emerge from the house, her tanned legs clad in tiny shorts and her breasts jiggling in a skimpy T-shirt. She hurried up the street, phone in hand and bag slung over her shoulder. She didn’t notice the extra car in the driveway.

  Humiliation sent another flush through Felicity’s body. She’d never been slim and firm like that. Todd used to love her curves. Clearly his taste had changed, just like their marriage.

  But it wasn’t just her world being tipped on its head.

  It’s Sean’s last semester at TAFE. And Ella’s only just started a new job with Regional Sky. A first officer, finally, after four years of hard work. What would it do to her? Maybe I could just drive away now and forget this ever happened?

  She swallowed the acid that flooded her throat as a fresh wave of heat sheened her forehead in sweat. Menopause was a bitch. Her phone pinged. It was Paula.

  Don’t you dare try and ignore what he’s done!!! Xxx

  Felicity tapped a message back, but before she could send it, the front door opened. Todd scurried down the stairs, the lights of his car blinking as he keyed the remote. He stopped when he realised who’d parked him in. Every emotion flashed across that handsome face until he could pull it into line.

  He smiled his warm ‘just for you’ smile that always won her over. Felicity opened the door as he strode towards her.

  ‘Hey, Lissie, that was quick. I was just working from home.’ Something in the patronising tone of his voice overran Felicity’s humiliation and lit the fuse on her anger.

  ‘I think you mean fucking the girl from next door,’ she spat. Swearing had its uses after all. ‘She’s the same age as Ella! How could you?’

  ‘Misty? What?’ Todd looked genuinely bewildered. ‘Their pool pump’s broken and she asked if she could have a swim. I figured you wouldn’t mind. She’s been here often enough. So what did you get for dinner?’

  ‘I saw everything, Todd. I even took pictures.’ She held up the screen and watched the colour drain from his face. But the satisfaction was short-lived as he went on the attack.

  ‘If you weren’t always rushing off to work, running around after the kids, flying north to your bloody mother, then maybe I wouldn’t need to look elsewhere. Have you ever thought how lonely I get, locked here without enough money to do anything?’

  She flinched, her defences crumbling. A text pinged. It would be another message of support from Paula. Not bothering to read it, she gathered her strength.

  ‘It’s not all about me, Todd.’ She was proud of the firm tone in her voice. ‘I’m going for a drive and I don’t want you here when I get back.’

  ‘Bullshit. It’s my house too.’ He moved closer, trapping her in the car.

  ‘No, actually, you put it in my name as some tax dodge, remember? And unless you want me to traumatise Ella and Sean and all our friends with these photos, I strongly suggest you leave. My lawyer will be in touch.’

  He shook his head. ‘You’ll never leave. You’d be lost without me. Someone’s got to look after you.’ He was holding the door so she couldn’t close it. She started the engine, went into reverse and pressed the accelerator.

  The movement threw Todd away from the car and Felicity slammed the door shut, barrelling into the street. He’d got to his feet and was still standing in the driveway as she turned the corner.

  Her phone beeped again and she glanced at another message from Paula.

  I’ll be over tonight and I’m bringing wine.

  The six o’clock news had just started when the doorbell chimed. Felicity took a deep breath before she opened the door.

  ‘Here,’ Paula said, thrusting a bottle of sav blanc at her. She slung an arm around Felicity’s shoulder, bracelets tinkling, and dragged her in for a hug. ‘You need company and anaesthetic. Wine’s as good as it gets unless Steph brings something stronger from the pharmacy.’

  ‘I don’t know what I need,’ Felicity replied, still feeling numb.

  ‘You were there to pick up the pieces when my dickhead walked out so you have a fair idea how this is going to go down.’ Paula shrugged out of her jacket and brushed her long auburn hair from her face. She’d clearly come straight from work – she was a senior administrator at the University of Queensland.

  ‘But you were happy to see the back of Quin,’ Felicity protested as she led the way to the kitchen. ‘You were a whisker away from leaving him yourself.’

  ‘You’re not telling me after what you’ve witnessed this morning that you don’t want Todd gone.’

  ‘No, no.’ Felicity flapped her hand, tears threatening again. ‘That came out all wrong.’

  ‘It’s okay, hon. I know what it feels like. There is life after divorce. The kids will be fine. Ella’s out of home and Sean must be close to moving in with his girlfriend, surely?’

  ‘Probably. But they’ll be gutted.’

  ‘Yeah, for a while.’ Paula dropped onto the couch on the other side of the kitchen bench and slid off her heels, sighing as she wriggled her toes. ‘But they know what their father’s like.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  The doorbell chimed again. ‘I’ll get it. You open the wine.’ Paula was on her feet before Felicity could stop her. Paula had never been a fan of Todd, but they’d always seemed to rub along together.

  Stephanie’s eyes were glistening as she walked in still wearing her white pharmacist shirt. ‘Oh Lissie, I’m so sorry.’ She wrapped her tight in a hug, rocking her from side to side. It was so tempting to give in to tears again.

  ‘It’s okay. Better I found out now.’ Felicity pulled away and went to finish pouring the wine. She had to do something with her hands to stop herself wringing them together.

  ‘There’s no good way to find out something like this,’ Steph said. She dug a bag of chips out of her bag and opened it, placing it on the kitchen bench. ‘I think you were very restrained not throwing the champagne bottle at them. If I caught Rod in the act with another woman I’d murder him.’

  Felicity shook her head. ‘Rod would never do something like this. He adores you.’

  ‘And Todd adored you once upon a time. I still remember when you introduced him to us. It was clear he was smitten. And proud of you,’ Steph added as Paula scoffed from the couch where she’d settled again.

  Felicity shrugged. ‘Somewhere along the way the gloss wore off.’

  ‘Was there no hint?’ Steph asked. She sat in one of the armchairs facing Paula, tucking her feet under her bottom. She was still so petite, even after two children.

  ‘Of course there were signs,’ Paula interrupted as Felicity joined them in the open-plan lounge. ‘You’d even admitted your sex life was down the drain, Lissie.’ She took the glass Felicity offered her.

  ‘Hey, steady,’ Steph said, grabbing Felicity’s hand before she could turn
away. ‘A lacklustre sex life doesn’t make for the end of a marriage. Lissie and Todd have been married thirty years. It’s unlikely they’re still pinning each other up against the shower wall. Plenty of women our age settle for companionship.’

  ‘Not this little black duck,’ Paula said, gulping a mouthful of wine. ‘Life is too short for bad sex.’

  ‘And how’s the foray into Tinder panning out this week?’ Felicity asked, desperate to deflect the conversation from herself.

  ‘No time this week. Work’s mad. Some of these students need to remember they’re at uni to learn, not to shag their lecturers and tutors. I’ve got a raft of complaints I have to unscramble. And it’s not just the men.’

  ‘Really?’ Felicity gratefully let Paula launch into the latest scandal. When the three of them met in their first year at boarding school as homesick thirteen-year-olds they’d become inseparable. Life had never managed to come between them. That they’d all ended up working in Brisbane meant their families were intertwined. Ella still called them Aunty Paul and Aunty Steph, and often caught up with them when she was in town. Paula’s two children lived overseas – Josh in London and Amanda in Seattle. And Steph had held out until ten years ago when her biological clock could no longer be ignored. Mikey and Andrea were adorable twins who had their parents wrapped tight around their little fingers.

  ‘So where’s Todd now?’ Steph asked when Paula finished her story.

  Felicity shrugged. ‘No idea.’

  ‘Did you get the locks changed today?’ Paula asked.

  ‘No, I stayed away for hours to make sure he’d left.’

  ‘It’s okay to be sad, and angry, and hurt. You’re entitled to feel all of that and more,’ Steph said.

  Paula snorted. ‘Angry should be top of that list. Todd’s been an arse before.’

  ‘But that was years ago,’ Felicity said.

  ‘And a leopard doesn’t change his spots.’

  ‘Visiting strip clubs is a long way from screwing the neighbour,’ Felicity replied, not sure why she was defending him at all. ‘And he’d stopped. He promised he wouldn’t waste the family money again on that.’